Patsy's Ponderings by Patsy Terrell

Today was the 84th annual Olde English tea at St. James Episcopal Church in Wichita. It’s only the second time I’ve been able to attend, but I do love it.

Even though it was a little wet, I walked through the garden area because they had made it so beautiful with the cloth and flowers.

They seem to be aware that details are important, and had these matching flower arrangements at the door.

Just inside the door they had these lovely vignettes.

Centerpieces were teapots with flowers on each table.

I didn’t know the story of their tea until this year, but apparently Mrs. Walter Wintle, a recent transplant from England, held the first tea 84 years ago. She arrived to find the church in desperate need of $300 for roof repairs. She had a tea in her home and secured all the needed funds. A tradition was born!

The lemon curd is still made with the same recipe. They are also famous for the toffee, which you can purchase by the bag to take home.

They have a series of buffet tables, and just keep bringing food out. You can help yourself to whatever appeals to you.

A little touch they do, which I really love, is they have vases of flowers on each tray. So, even if the food is gone from the tray, it’s never empty. It’s beautiful and practical.

They also do cucumber sandwiches with different varieties of toppings. I loved this combination. They also have them with shrimp on top, as well as other goodies.

Both years I’ve been they have these little mice, which are really adorable.

They have someone pouring tea at each end of the buffet table. They also offer coffee. And I noticed today they had water on a sideboard. I always try to take bottled water with me to an event like this because I can’t drink caffeine and I know how difficult it is to manage special requests at an event.

This was the bouquet at our table.

I met my friend, Jan, there. She is so much fun – always laughing.

They also offer a fashion show a couple of times during the day. I couldn’t resist a few photos of other details before I left.

I am completely in love with this little vase. Delicate little vintage vases with pink accents thrill me for reasons I can’t fully determine!

The Olde English Tea at St. James Episcopal Church in Wichita is always the first Saturday in May so mark your calendar!

See last year’s post here: http://patsysponderings.com/2012/05/st-james-tea-in-wichita.html

The Augusta Historical Society held its 18th annual tea today and I attended for the third time. This year the theme was holiday tables.

They take your name when you call for reservations and have a place card at your spot.

I love their little teapot holders, too.

Without knowing anything about me, they put me at the Christmas table! How perfect was that? This was my view right in front of my plate. Wonderful, isn’t it?

The favors were this little paper teacups with candy. Each was decorated with something appropriate for the theme at that table.

Our table had a Christmas tree with crocheted snowflakes, antique garland and cookie cutters.

The base was covered with fruit, including those clove studded oranges, which I’m not sure I’ve ever seen except in magazines.

Other tables had their own delights.

The tea is held in a log cabin on the grounds. Today we were treated to mandolin music while we enjoyed tea.

Their tea is a buffet, and the food is simple, but it’s a nice event. They do it Friday and Saturday, the first weekend in May. I go to this one on Friday so I can attend the St. James tea in Wichita on Saturday.

I remain enchanted with vintage linens – embroidery, crochet, and whatever other handwork finds its way to me.

It always surprises me that these things are available for me to pick up and purchase, but I suppose when I’m gone they’ll go on to someone else in the same fashion.

This one is especially lovely because I believe the crocheted lace to be made by hand as well. Many of these things were mass produced, ready for embroidery to be added. This one, however, has the look of one that was crocheted by hand.

I love it, regardless.

Last week I spoke at WordFest, a writer’s conference in McPherson, Kansas. As I was leaving the library where it was held, I noticed a peace pole. We are fortunate in this area to have a number of them around.

The Peace Pole Project was started in 1955 in response to the bombings at Hiroshima and Nagasaki. It is an official project of the World Peace Prayer Society. Each of them contains the message, “May Peace Prevail on Earth,” in multiple languages.

There is another one just a few miles away in Lindsborg near a labyrinth at a church near Bethany College. I don’t recall the languages on that one. There’s also one in North Newton on the Bethel College Campus.

This was just the cap of an interesting day interacting with other writers. I spoke about blogging, and why writers might want to use one to help promote themselves. As usual, I picked up some interesting ideas from others. It was a really well-organized event.

Another surprise in the day was that the library we were in has a healthy supply of vintage Eames chairs. Yes, real ones. I’ve never seen one except in a museum, and I’ve certainly never sat in one before. They’re very comfortable.

I did offer to buy them brand new chairs and take those old ones off their hands, but they were not interested in my offer!

Here’s a video link to a documentary about Eames Chairs: http://video.pbs.org/video/2178281391/

It is my mother’s birthday – at least for a few more minutes here on this April 24th. She died in 2001, at the age of 82, and there hasn’t been a day since that I haven’t missed her.

Mama was a force to be reckoned with. I was fortunate to have her as a mother. She taught me many things. Our relationship wasn’t perfect – what mother/daughter one is? I know I was a disappointment to her in many ways, and I’m sure I know only a small fraction of them. Hopefully I was also a joy to her in at least a few.

Her birthday is always bittersweet for me. We were never a big birthday family, but on her birthday that year I made a call to the local nursing home to see if they had a place for her. We thought she was having a medication reaction and we were way beyond our medical knowledge. Little did we know she had had a series of small strokes and would have a more major one in a few days, and that she would die on May 11.

This is always a difficult time of year for me. From her birthday through Mother’s Day or May 13 – depending on how the dates fall. She died on Friday, May 11 and we buried her on Sunday, May 13 – Mother’s Day.

Grieving is a process for everyone, and it has been a very long one for me. It was probably about five years afterward when I felt like I “came out of a fog.” Then it was a few more years before I felt like I could let the days pass without marking them in some special way.

The first year I made it a point to be in Paris. At the moment one of my dear friends is there and I’m loving seeing her photos and remembering that time.

On mama’s birthday the first year after she died, I had the lowest point during the grieving process, I think. I was laying in bed that night alone just sobbing uncontrollably. I felt as though every cell in my body was crying its pain into my bloodstream and that it would never cease.

After an hour or two of this I remember thinking, “I just can’t go on like this. I just can’t.” It was too much pain, too much grief, too much loss, too much. There was still some part of me that was functioning because I considered my choices.

I could only come up with two – I either had to kill myself or I had to deal with it and go on. I knew I wasn’t going to kill myself. That was not an option. Never was an option. So, I was just going to have to go on. And I was just going to have to feel that way as long as I felt that way. So, I did.

Fortunately, that seemed to be a bit of a turning point. Although it was years before I was out of the fog, I realized there was no point in being overly dramatic about not being able to go on. That was just silliness (something my mother abhorred). Obviously, I could go on and I did.

I’ve remembered that night many times. I have rarely felt so alone, so forlorn, so lost, so forsaken, as I did that night. But, like millions before me, I survived. And so will millions more after me.

Recently I went to see Cheryl Strayed, whose book, “Wild,” chronicles her thousand mile plus hike where she came to terms with her mother’s death. I completely understood everything she experienced after her mother’s death when she was searching to find who she was without her mother. If you’ve read the book, you know she had some very dark times and coped however she could. I understood. I understand.

————–

Other things I’ve written about Mama’s passing…

http://patsysponderings.com/2005/04/i-am-no-ones-daughter.html

http://patsysponderings.com/2005/05/remembering-mama.html

http://patsysponderings.com/2007/05/may-11-2.html

http://patsysponderings.com/2010/05/white-roses-and-remembrances.html

http://patsysponderings.com/2011/05/a-corsage-of-white-roses.html

http://patsysponderings.com/2012/05/blackberries-signs-decisions-and-mysteries.html

Elizabeth Smart endured nine months of captivity after being kidnapped from her Utah home when she was 14. She was repeatedly raped and forced to use drugs and alcohol. She was rescued after she convinced her captors to take her back to Utah, and people spotted her on the street with the couple who had held her all that time.

She spoke at the Dillon Lecture Series today at Hutchinson Community College Tuesday morning. She was incredibly poised and well-spoken. She began her presentation by thanking people for praying for her and her family.

She spoke about the child she was before she was abducted, saying she was a very shy and modest girl. She said that if she had been ice cream it would have been vanilla – not vanilla with sprinkles – just vanilla. “Immanuel,” as her captor called himself, raped her the first night he took her from her home. She said he, “shattered my soul,” that she was crushed. She said she would have rather been dead than alive after that.

At first she thought she could never face anyone again, but she said what really saved her was that eventually she remembered her mother saying that she would always love her. Smart said she began to understand, “My family still would love me. They would never shun me. They would never abandon me. They would never leave me.” More than anything else, Smart said that realization kept her going. It made her want to survive.

She said the best piece of advice she got after her return was from her mother who told her that it was horrible what this man had done to her, that it was wicked, that he had stolen nine months of her life. But, she said the best punishment she could ever give him was to be happy. She told her not to dwell on the past, that holding on was only hurting her, that she would be giving him more power.

Smart says life is about steps. “We always have a choice. It’s not always easy and it’s not always fun, but it’s always worth moving forward,” she says.

Smart did about 80 speaking engagements last year and has a foundation geared toward preventing abduction and teaching children what to do. She says, “You never know the difference you can make in someone else’s life.”

The MCC Sale started Friday evening with the feeding of the multitudes. We were in line for some great German food.

The money goes to hunger relief. The sale offers a chance to peek into another culture and enjoy some wonderful food, including a Russian Pancake, cooked right before your eyes.

If you want to make your own, here’s the recipe. You might want to make less than this, however.

Poppy Seed rolls and Angel Food Cakes keep company with the peppernuts and pies.

They even have specialized shelves for the pies!

They’re serious about the baked goods.

In addition to the food, the big attraction is the auction, which includes hundreds of quilts.