Not Wanting to Let Go

I am really not wanting to let go of my Christmas tree. I've been trying to convince myself to take it down but a part of me keeps saying... but... what if...

Well, that's foolish... you can always make a case for what if. But I don't want to leave it up indefinitely either. But it's just so darned pretty this year... But it's big and bulky...

Besides, I really want to feel some control in my life and controlling my environment seems one way to trick myself into feeling like I have some. I realize it's all just a psychological trick. But, hey, it works for me sometimes.

The only way I know to get control - or some ilusion of is - is through action. I've got so many post it notes tacked up around my computer that the shear weight of them is causing them to let go and fall from the stack. Each one has a note about something I need to do. I like the satisfaction of tossing them as I get things done.

The problem with that system, as well as the list system, is that "call Sue" takes up the same amount of space as "write grant." One can be done in a few minutes and one takes many hours. But both need to be done.

I'm trying to get some control in various parts of the house. I've packed up quite a bit of the Christmas stuff. I was thrilled to discover tomorrow is recycling day. It's only every other week and I can't keep track. Thank goodness I can get that stuff out of the house. It's already at the curb. Now, if people will just leave it alone, all the better.

People like to go through my trash and recycling. I don't know what I have that's so darned interesting, but it creeps me out. Big time. Really creeps me out. I don't want people going through my trash. I know. It's trash. I'm throwing it out. Why do I care? I don't know, but I do. I think because it's creepy. I mean I'm just one person - I don't drink enough pop that you're going to get rich from the cans. And did I mention it creeps me out?

OK... I couldn't resist more tree pix tonight...

The one above is of a glass icicle I bought in 1990 on a trip to Salt Lake City.

This little glass box was a gift from Virginia at Creative Sisterhood in 2005.



Jackie and Kim brought me this from their honeymoon...



I got this in Boston on a trip with my friend, Fran...



This angel was a gift from my mom. My mom loved birthstone things and this angel is in a blue dress, holding a blue stone - my birthstone is blue topaz.



I picked up some of these little birds in Guatemala in 1999...



This was from Canada in the fall of 2006



This angel came from the Ten Thousand Villages - Et. Cetera shops many, many, many years ago. These are some of my first ornaments.



I don't recall where I picked up this little snowman icicle...



I have a few of these little baby Jesus ornaments I got in Rome that I nestle in the tree in various spots. They're one of my favorites.