Time

When I was on retreat I took time to sit on the porch and sip tea. I gave myself one full day off - to just relax. It's the first day off I've given myself in over a year, when I wasn't thinking about things I had to do or needed to do.

But, even on retreat, I spent the day working on my novel. Of course, I really love having time to write and that has been in very short supply. But I still wasn't relaxing in the traditional sense of doing nothing.

I wonder how people "relax." I guess I don't fully understand the concept. I want to accomplish something with my time on Earth, so I feel the need to be doing something all the time in order to make the most of my time here.

I've always felt time is limited. There isn't enough of it for me to create everything I want to make. If I lived to be 400 there wouldn't be enough time and that's not likely to happen. So, I feel compelled to do as much as possible with the time I do have.

That said, I realize there's wisdom to be found in stillness. I meditate regularly. I think. I ponder. I listen.

As with everything, it's finding the balance.