My Heart Is Not In It

I wrote this back in May, but never posted it. I was still at the museum and desperately trying to figure out how to find time to see my family, as well as address some other issues. I'm continually aware of spending my time on things where my heart is.

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These days I find myself examining my life and how I'm spending my time. I have to admit that some of my time is allocated to places where my heart is not in it.

I have to change that.

I have made committments I will carry through with. But then I must carefully examine each thing and consider if my heart is in it. Time is too precious to not spend it where your heart is.

I can become so mired in the "must dos" and "have tos" that I have no time for the "want tos." One of my decisions at the end of last year was that I had to find a way to have more time and energy to be me. Already this year I've had more opportunities for enrichment, and that has been wonderful. I feel more balanced than I have the last couple of years. But, I need to be the fun me again, and it's hard to do that when I feel the pressure to be making money every waking moment.

There are demands on me that my heart is not into. At all. I wonder how it got this way because I'm generally pretty careful about taking on things I don't want to do. But I have to address these things.