Ranchos de Taos

Just south of Taos is a town called Ranchos de Taos. Taos is just "too cool" to have things one needs to live life - like gas stations. So, those are a couple of miles south in Ranchos de Taos. You'll also find a WalMart here.

And don't let those Taosenos fool you (yes, that's what they call themselves - pretentious, isn't it?) they flood into the WalMart just like the rest of us do all over the country.

But, there is a very cool thing in Ranchos de Taos - the old church. "The Ranchos Church," San Francisco de Asis, was completed in 1815 and is supposedly the most photographed church in America. I don't know if that's true, but I did yet more photographs of it - as if we were short on them.

I loved the church, but the neatest thing I saw were these carved doors. I'm guessing they go to the rectory. They're on the north side of the plaza. They're just stunning. Very beautiful.

The buildings around the square were wonderfully ancient. Adobe is apparently made by making bricks and mortaring them together, then covering the whole with more adobe. Over time walls get quite thick as it is generally recovered each fall.

I didn't get to go inside the church, as I was there after 4 p.m. but perhaps on another trip.

I went on in to Taos and drove around the square. I never returned to it, other than this one visit. I drove down the main drag and spotted Michael's Kitchen, which I had read about. I went in and had some dinner. It was a nice place - very casual - friendly staff - good food. I ate there twice more over my trip. I recommend it heartily.

Then I decided to head out to a campsite and get settled for the night. Supposedly the State Park people operate a number of them but they were all closed. I'm not sure why - maybe it was too early in the season. But, fortunately, I drove a little further and found a real gem.

Exactly five miles from downtown, east on Highway 64, is one of the best finds of the trip. It's Sierra Village Vacation RV Park and campsite (505-758-3660). For $15 a night I put myself in a beautiful site, complete with creek a few feet away. I listened to the running water all night and got up to find a roomy and clean shower facility.

The gentleman who runs this park is wonderful - very friendly and very laid back. If you come in after hours, you'll see the sign on the door that says the office is closed - to pick a site and pay in the morning, which is what I did.

It was such a good experience, that I stayed there the following night too. I can't recommend it highly enough.

Santa Fe For the First Time

For years people have been telling me I need to go to Santa Fe - that it's my kind of place, I'll love it, it's spiritual, it's wonderful, it's a place I'll adore.

Well, I have finally made the trek. There were things I enjoyed but, frankly, I found it to be little more than an overgrown tourist trap. How much silver and turquoise jewelry does one person really need?

I went to the folk art museum and the Native American museum the first afternoon I arrived, which was Mother's Day Sunday. Part of the reason for my timing was to be away from home over Mother's Day, which is a difficult time for me every year because of my mother's death.

I drove around the city a bit, got a feel of the lay of the land, but didn't do anything other than those two museums. I had planned to have a nice dinner, but I called a few places and could not find any place that was available that evening. I realize it was Mother's Day, but supposedly Santa Fe has enough restaurants that everyone can be eating out at once. Apparently not. At least not at nice places.

I also went to the tourist information center to get more information but it's closed other than 8-5, Monday through Friday. This is something I wish tourism places all over the country would realize - pleasure does not work on business hours. If you really want to serve tourists, being open during "tourist hours" as opposed to business hours would be helpful. At the end of the day, I had a burger at Sonic, and packed it in early.

But, on the upside, I got out of the traffic, which was horrendous. I think part of this was that it was Mother's Day because it wasn't so bad the following day. I found a KOA campground outside of Santa Fe, overpriced at $30, but very pleasant, helpful people and very safe. I settled in for the night to have a fresh outlook for the next day.

I started Monday at the St. Francis Cathedral, right on the plaza. It's famous, of course, for being built by Jean Baptiste Lamy, the first archbishop of Santa Fe, who is the star of Willa Cather's book, "Death Comes for the Archbishop."

This was on my list of things to see because of the Lamy connection. One of the wonderful things is that it opens very early in the morning, so I was able to get there early and park nearby. Parking, of course, is an issue in Santa Fe on the plaza.

I had a few other targets in Santa Fe, although some of them were closed because it was a Monday. I've never figured out why museums assume people do not want to visit them on Mondays. It's like tourist information places being closed on weekends, when most tourism occurs. It's idiotic. Anyway, I could not see the Georgia O'Keefe museum without staying another day and I wasn't going to do that. But, I had plenty to amuse myself with.

One of my favorite stores in Santa Fe was JL Brass at La Fonda, even though I didn't get to go inside. But, it was my kind of place. To begin with it was a beautiful blue trimmed door, with color coordinating plant life, and seemed to be brimming with fun art.

There was a temporary note on the door that said, "Closed Monday May 9 - Mental Health Day." The small print noted they were also tearing up the street that day - which they were busy doing when I was there - but I just loved the attitude.Further investigation revealed this would not have been a surprise to anyone who knew the proprietor.

Another sign that was a more permanent fixture said, "Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday are my tennis mornings. I am often 1/2 hour late. One must keep one's priorities straight." You just have to love that attitude. Oh, by the way, the hours were listed as "10-6 daily, subject to weather and/or whim."

I wandered on toward Loretto Chapel. This is the chapel with the miraculous staircase, built by a stranger who seemed to appear in response to the nuns' novena. Modern engineers cannot figure out how the staircase supports itself.

One of the things I've never had a sufficient explanation for about this is why the staircase wasn't built in the first place. Well, finally, I have an answer. Apparently it was not uncommon for choir lofts to not have staircases because choirs were generally men. They climbed up by ladder. This wasn't practical for the nuns. So, there's the answer to that quandry.

I had a lovely lunch at the French Pastry Shop. It was wonderful to hear French being spoken, as well as Spanish. I loved the signs, posted prominently, that said, "All pastries are made with real butter." It was so beautiful in its unapologetic directness.

After feeding the parking meter some more money, I went to visit the Mission of San Miguel. It's open every day from 9-4, except the day I was there when next to the "open" sign was a post it note saying, "will return at 1."

Not to worry, the "Oldest House in the USA" is right across the street. I went to visit it. Its most interesting features are outside, one of which is the sign. I wish it weren't backlit in this photo so you could get the full effect, but the top panel says, "Oldest House in the USA" and the bottom one says "ATM."

The oldest house part is only two rooms but it's very neat to see the old wood. The rest of the building is a gallery. And, there's a resident kitty cat who will wander up and make you his by rubbing your ankles.

The outside of the building is fascinating. You can see the uneven texture and those two old doorways. I took some time to sit down in front of the church and do a quick watercolor because the color was so nice. I pretty much just used it right out of the tube - it was the perfect rich color. I grew very fond of the blue and adobe combination seen so many places.

The San Miguel Mission was my last stop of the day. It's one of the oldest churches in the US, operating since the 1600s. It has some really unusual art, including a painting on deer hide. It's worth a visit and happens to be right next door to a well known pizza place.

I didn't have the time or inclination to eat there. My slight case of altitude sickness kept me from fully enjoying the cuisine, I'm afraid. Next time I'll allow myself a little extra time to acclimate.

By mid afternoon I was headed out of Santa Fe, toward Taos.

Land of Enchantment

I started my New Mexico trip on Saturday, May 7. My goal the first night was Tucumcari. I had planned to stay at the famous Route 66 hotel - The Blue Swallow - but during a phone call to them earlier I learned the hotel was temporarily closed. Its neon has been recently restored and Greg had stayed there before and heartily recommended it. Later in the trip, I learned that it's for sale.

I arrived before nightfall and drove the route to take a look. Much of the neon in Tucumcari has been restored on old Route 66. There are also a couple of restaurants that date from its hey day, including Del's Restaurant, where I had dinner. The food was nothing exceptional, but perfectly passable, and it was nice to eat in a place that has been there for about 50 years.

After dinner I headed out of town toward Conchas Lake State Park to camp for the night. When I say "camp" I mean sleeping in the back of my van - safe from animals, weather and other humans. I'm not sure one can really call it "camping" but it costs $8 to do it at this campground in a "primitive" site. I really am not sure what that means, but it was a beautiful place. I discovered the next morning when it was daylight that there were wildflowers in bloom all over the place, there was a beautiful lake, and after some searching I found the showers in another part of the park. I arrived after dark and finding my way around in the blackness prompted me to get to campsites earlier in the day the next few nights.

I continued on NM104, which is a beautiful road to drive, headed for Las Vegas. The road continued to climb and when I got out of the car at a beautiful spot with lots of rock and cactus, I realized I was suffering a tiny bit of altitude sickness - just minor - but I was very lethargic. The scenery was nice, though. I adore rocks, so this was very pleasant.

I hadn't necessarily planned to go to Las Vegas, but I hadn't really "planned" any part of the trip and the night before I decided to head that way to eat lunch at a restaurant I had read about in the Moon Guide. It's the Spic and Span diner, also known as Charlie's, and the recommended dish is "Al's Special," which is what I had. It's an omlette, filled with tons of good things including ham, peppers, veggies and cheese. It was mighty good. Of course, I was traveling with Ace Jackalope in tow - what trip would be complete with the Lope?

I really enjoyed my little visit to Las Vegas, New Mexico. It isn't a place I've ever hear much about, but it was one of my favorite parts of the trip. It was a great diversion and I imagine it will become a regular stop when I'm in the Land of Enchantment.

I headed on up the road toward Santa Fe.

Taos Pueblo

One of the obligatory stops in Taos is the Pueblo. I went on Wednesday, before coming home.

It was designated in 1992 by UNESCO as the First Living World Heritage Site. It's also a National Historic Landmark and on the National Register. Why? Because it is the oldest continuously inhabited community in the US. This building and its southern counterpart are estimated to be about 1000 years old.

The native people who live here today are the descendants of the tribe who lived there 1000 years ago. The Pueblo maintains a restriction of no running water and no electricity.

But, as is often the case in these situations, this is an odd bit of restriction. During my visit I saw an elderly gentleman walking down the dusty road carrying a box of Kentucky Fried Chicken under his arm. It was an odd juxtaposition - this gentleman with a traditional blanket flapping in the breeze as he walked purposefully, carrying fast food.

While there is no electricity, there are plenty of propane tanks. I'm not sure those were there 1000 years ago. They say the only difference is the doorways, which were introduced by the Spanish, although the traditional roof holes and ladders remain. Somehow I think doorways are not the only change.

And I haven't even mentioned the casino yet, that you can find just a little bit away from the pueblo, which is in the beautiful foothills. Or the very modern rest room facilities that are outside the gate. Not that I'm complaining of the visitor facilities - I made use of them myself - but there was definitely running water. Thank Goodness.

When you arrive, you pay $10 for an entrance fee and an additional $5 for your still camera and another $5 if you have a video camera. I don't mind the fees. At all.

And the first thing I saw after paying my money made me very happy that I had paid the extra $5 to take photos - the cemetery.

I don't know if I've ever mentioned here before about my love of cemeteries. I've visited some fabulous ones. This one was amazing.

It is built on the site of the old San Geronimo Church. Although the church is nothing but ruins - a new church was built in 1850 - the cemetery is still in use. Now, it doesn't take a mathematical genius to figure out if people have been living here for 1000 years and using the same cemetery, it's going to fill up in none too many years.

Well, these ingenious people came up with a wonderful solution. The system is simple - when the cross marking your grave falls over, that indicates that the space is available for use. The bodies are buried one on top of the other. It's a brilliant solution as far as I'm concerned, but I guess some Catholic visitors have had some difficulty with the concept.

People are not buried in caskets, even though the church still has the ceremonial casket placed in missions to encourage natives to conform to Catholic funeral practices. Not these folks. They still bury in native regalia, wrapped in blankets, one on top of the other. When your cross falls over, it's removed and laid on the ruins of the old church. Apparently it's about a 75 year turn over.

The fact that some are now using headstones is going to mess with the system. They're contemplating how to handle that. But, the variety of wooden crosses, all hand made, are an amazing site to see.

The religion is an interesting mix - they are Catholic but also maintain their earth worship. I wish I could show you a photo of the inside of the new church, which is just lovely, but no photos are allowed. It has the traditional niches with Mary and others, but the walls are painted with beautiful earth symbols too - the Sun and moon, corn, squash, pumpkins, etc. It is gorgeous. Stunningly beautiful in its simplicity. But a perfect reminder that these people effortlessly blend two religions while most of us can't even manage one.

The "new" church is a wonderful structure. Don't miss the hand hewn marks on the wooden support posts at the back of the church. And do leave some time for soaking up the details of the altar area with its Catholic symbols and very intact Earth worship.

It's a gorgeous setting, with a creek running through that provides all the drinking water for the pueblo. Red Willow Creek divides the pueblo into the north and south sides, with wooden foot bridges that connect them. Water is carried to the homes by pottery and pails. The creek comes from a sacred source known as Blue Lake. Because it and the surrounding area are sacred, non-tribal members are not allowed into these areas.

You can get a tour from a local college student. It was my guide who explained that the buildings are made of the adobe bricks and then recoated each year with the mud and straw mixture. You can see it crumbling in places, which is why it's redone each year. Of course, the buildings keep growing in size. Some walls are over 2 feet thick now.

The North and South buildings now have shops in the lower floors. You can buy jewelry and various crafts. It's obvious that tourism has become a business here, but it's still in its infancy.

I fear what tourism will do to this place in another 20 years.

Road Signs of a Different Sort

Sometimes when you're traveling, you run across something that makes you smile. This visage in Santa Fe did that for me earlier this week. It was a bright, beautiful day and I knew that these people were my people. I love the fact that he has gone out and gotten the specific letters to put on the tailgate - and obviously created his own rendition of this Howard Zinn comment. And, of course, I love the message. I couldn't agree more.

The next day in Taos, I run across this gem parked near Loretto Chapel - that's the place with the miraculous staircase. What a beautiful sentiment. This SUV also had a "Defend America, Beat Bush" bumper sticker.

You know it's going to be an interesting trip when you're not even an hour from home and already seeing something bizarre. Saturday morning in Pratt, Kansas - barely on the road - I passed this red, white and blue painted tricycle strapped down on a trailer that could have easily held a couple dozen of them. To top it off, it was being hauled by an SUV, that could have held the tricycle in the back - no trailer necessary. Your guess is as good as mine as to why someone would strap down a tricycle on a trailer pulled behind an SUV. I don't think it's necessary to repeat the lyrics to "People are Strange" - just scroll down a few entries to find them.

Traveling Alone

Traveling alone gives plenty of opportunity for insights of various sorts. As I was driving home tonight from 4 1/2 days on the road alone - 1434.3 miles for those of you counting - I was thinking about this. The conclusion I came to is that the reason traveling alone brings insight is that you have to be alone with yourself.

It's something most of us are loathe to do, and when you're alone in the car - and if like this trip, not even in radio range large parts of the time - you have no choice but to be alone with who you are. It's intoxicating and terrifying.

Generally I think I'm pretty good about being with myself, even at home. But it's different to be zipping down an unfamiliar highway or settled into a camp ground for the night and realize just how alone you are. In many places I had no radio and no cell phone signal. It was just me, my thoughts and my writing.

Energy Healer Visit

I spent the day today in a workshop with an energy healer I've visited a couple of times. She works with the subtle energies.

Today's workshop was to teach us some of the basic techniques so we can heal ourselves. There were six of us - all friends.

It was a fascinating day. We experimented with a number of techniques from making energy balls to finishing with a healing.

On Tuesday evening she did a brief talk about what she does. There were 17 people there. Today there were only six of us. Jocelyn, Teresa, Trish, Diana and Ruth and I were the pupils. It was such a bonus to do it in a small group where we got a lot of individual attention.

I had two very interesting moments, one of which I can share here. The other was not really my experience - I was a witness to it - so it's not my place to share. But, one other I can share.

We were doing a meditation and during it I felt the urge to roll my head around slowing, cracking my neck as it went. This is always what I want the chiropractor to do when I go - crack my neck.

So, I started just moving it however it wanted to go. When we were done I tried to recreate it and couldn't get my neck to go nearly as far back as it had earlier. Apparently when working with these subtle energies, it's not uncommon for people to do things that are "physically impossible," which is what this was. It was a fascinating feeling. In one direction it seemed to flow easily and in the other it seems to require "pushing" - as if it were going backwards.

I would like to get the group together to practice more.

Statistics Become Real

I've had a string of really busy days this week - starting very early and going very late. I have had very little sleep. Maybe that's why I've been in tears since I've been home and had the privacy to fall apart, but I think it's much more about a young person who's name I didn't know a few hours ago.

Today was National Anxiety Screening Day. The Mental Health Association I run was one of 1000 places around the country where you could get a free, confidential screening. I had a local mental health professional who agreed to do the screenings for me since I'm not trained to do them. Many MHA people do them anyway, but I don't feel comfortable with that so I always ask professionals to help and they're very generous about offering their time.

How it works is that people can come in, fill out a little questionnaire, and then talk to someone for free, all confidential.

It was a beautiful day here today and we thought we might have no one show up. But we did. And one of the people who came spoke the words that made my heart stop and my breath catch, "I just want to die."

I'm still new enough at this (3 years) that those words made my entire being shiver. It's one thing to hear suicide statistics. It's another to see a vital, young person talking about not wanting to live.

Hours later I'm still shaken up just from witnessing even part of the story - and really I had very little to do with helping this person. I'm more worried about what would have happened tomorrow if this screening hadn't happened today. That question has taken up residence in my soul and has settled into a place inside my core self. I don't think it will ever leave. But I'm not sure I can handle the responsibility and weight of carrying it with me.

A New Venture into Art Shows

Sunday morning I woke up at 5:14. I stayed in my bedroom reading and writing until about 7 but finally just couldn't take it anymore. I was trying to be quiet since Mark was sleeping in the next room.

But, when I couldn't stay still anymore, I went into the studio and started playing. I'm experimenting with doing monoprints directly onto wood. It's an interesting because it means many of the typical techniques do not work.

After the art fair on Saturday, Greg, Mia and Mark were all encouraging me to do art shows myself. I'm starting to think it's a good idea. So, I was looking at the various things I make and what would be saleable and how I should handle all that. I haven't produced things with the idea of selling them but I'm warming up to the idea.

I think I'm going to put a few things on my website and try to garner reaction so I have some idea of what approach to take with various items.

Art Fair

Today was the 43rd Annual Hutchinson Outdoor Art Fair. It's done by the art association and it was a blast today. Jocelyn had a booth and did very well. By the time I got there a little before noon, she'd already sold about half the stuff she had. She also won an award.

Mia came out from Joplin and sold her jewelry. She and a friend were planning to do it, but the friend hurt her back so Mia came on her own. Her friend won a purchase award for a bracelet and Mia had a really good sales day. So, it was a successful day all around. There were three other people there I knew who had booths, too, so it was fun to visit.

This event may take the record for me running into as many people as I have in awhile, including a sheriff's officer that I've known for many years, but just don't see very often. He's a nice guy - he used to work in the media which is how I met him. But it was good to see him again and visit. He was tickled to see Mark, who's down from KC for the fair. They worked together at the paper. Greg and Mark were the official helpers today. Of course, Greg had Ace Jackalope with him in this American Gothic pose.

I lost track of who all I ran in to, but it was fun. I missed Diana and her daughter Sarah - they had been there before I got there. But I did see Eileen, Joan, Trish, Andrea, Mark, Debbie, Virginia, Jack, Linda, Lisa, Cleta, Doris, Becky, Matt and Michelle.

Jocelyn also introduced me to another artist that I liked immediately, Katie Flindall. She has a website http://www.moonhouseart.com. You can see her art there. I bought some notecards that have a teapot on them. I love her stuff - very whimsical and fun.

It was a good day. Mark and I did take time to go to Roys, and we brought it back for Greg, Mia and Jocelyn. Tonight the four of us went to Skaets. It was a nice evening. Now, Terry is over and the five of us are just chatting. I'm going to have to pack it in soon... I'm tired.

Abraded and Waxed

We decided today at about 4:30 to hit the Anchor right after work. Comedian Paul Rodriguez is in town tonight for a show at the Fox but I didn't go. But, it seems a large part of the town did and they were all at the Anchor before hand. So was he. Terry got to see him today with some school kids and said it was great.

Anyway, there were only five of us - Andrea, Susan K, Terry, Greg and me. It was so last minute and I was in such a hurry that when I emailed, I mistyped Debbie's name so she didn't get the message, and there was someone else's that I did the same thing to but I can't recall now who that was. I didn't see the bounces until I got home. Oddly enough, just as I was typing it, Diana called saying Andrea was there and wanted to know if we were going. So, it all worked out.

I left from the Anchor and went to the fairgrounds for Girls Night Out. It's a fundraiser for the Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence Center here. It's a neat event. This is only the second year but they had a big crowd. Diana had a booth - her daughters Sarah and Taylor were both there to help.

I did only two activities. At the Head Turners salon's booth, I had the age spots on my hand abraded with a light therapy. I have had "age spots" since I was in my early 20s. I don't like it much, but so it goes. Anyway, it made a huge difference. But, it costs $150 a treatment or you can buy 10 treatments for $1,000. Uh... hmmm... I doubt I'll be doing that anytime soon. Did I mention I run a non-profit?

The other thing I did was stand in line for a $3 eye brow wax. Now, I have to tell you, I'm not a big makeup person to begin with and waxing... hmmm... can you say "ouch!" Well, I can. I've done it 2-3 times in the past. I don't pluck my eyebrows at all. You know why? It hurts. That's why.

Well, I've been thinking about getting them waxed again. It's been at least two years - the memory of the pain has faded.

So, Reflections salon was doing waxing for only $3. So, I stood in line and did it. I have to say that Valerie, who did it, did not hurt me nearly as much as everyone else who has done it in the past - including the person who first did it and was referred to as "Noy, the wax king." Well, move over Noy - and take your painful applications and tools with you. (Actually, Noy left town years ago, so it's not really an issue - but the story would be lacking otherwise.) The next time I feel the urge to harm myself in this manner, Valerie is getting my business.

So, here I sit, wondering about the wisdom of abrading and waxing oneself... much less having others do it for you.

Question of the Day

The question posed was:
"What was the first thing you thought of this morning when you woke up?"

My answer is:
The same thing I think of every morning -
"wow... great... amazing... incredible... this is fabulous... I woke up... nothing bad happened over night... I still have all my faculties... everyone I love is still safe... I can still walk, talk, see, hear, etc... thank you, God... it's going to be a great day..." And I run down my stairs, eager to get about the day, knowing this may be my last one so I'd better get about living it while I have it.

Psychic Medium Reading

Tonight I went to see a psychic medium. She lives in a neighboring town and Trish invited me to go. Someone she works with was hosting it at her house.

I invited Diana and she invited someone she just met through her store, who I really liked. It's interesting to be in a group of people, not knowing too much about many of them, and see how you bond together. Always fascinating.

I did get a reading tonight. I said I'd like to hear from my mom. She said my mom was saying that she was very well treated in the hospital - and she was, because we insisted on it. She said my mother calls me a nurse, that I was a good care giver. I did not feel like I was, but if my mom felt I was, that's all that matters. She then asked who was a huge coffee drinker. I said my father was. She said my dad was holding my mother's hand. They were not affectionate by the time I came along, but surely they were at some point. She then asked who the "Jim" was - my brother. Then she asked who the "P" was - of course I'm Patsy. Then she asked who the "Ann" was - that's my middle name. She asked who the "L" was. We have a lot of middle names that are "Lee" - including my other brother. Later I realized that my mother's mother's name was Pearl - that could have been the "P" and my father's father was Luther, which could have been the "L." I had a great aunt named Ann that I was close to, too.

She next said she saw a map spread out in front of me. Of course, I love to travel. She said I have many, many trips left to take - some that I can't even imagine yet. She asked if my glove compartment was a mess and said there was a card in there that was lost. She also asked if I was at the library a lot - and I am.

I was wearing my Klogs - red shoes - tonight. She said there was laughter from my mother about my shoes, which there would have been if she had seen them. She said there was tons of energy around me. And that my mother thought I should have been in a beauty contest - that I was very beautiful. I guess every mother thinks that about their daughter, of course.

After things were over, she told me that she saw a flag over me - it was a white flag of surrender - she asked me what I'd had to surrender. There's one thing I feel in the process of surrenderring but I'm not sure that's it. She also said she was getting the WW2 story about the Japanese that hid in the cave and didn't know for two years that the war was over. She said I needed to come out of the cave and it would all be OK. Obviously, I'm going to have to think about this some more.

One of the most interesting things she said tonight was to all of us and it was that, "We are a servant of all mankind." That no matter what we're doing that we're to be serving. Another concept I'm going to think more about.

All in all it was an interesting evening. This lady has a website - www.psychicmediummary.com but I haven't really had a chance to look at it fully yet - I just got home.

Tonight I was taking notes and ended up giving away all the notes to the individuals they were for, other than my own. Anyway, as a result I can't remember too much about the others and it's probably not appropriate for me to share it here anyway. But, some of the messages were pretty specific.

I feel there's a real shift happening in Kansas - that we are becoming more and more open to this sort of energy information that's all around us. There is a lot going on here. Interesting to be living here at this time. You can feel the shifts occurring.

Putnam and Painting

Tonight I had dinner with Trish and Peggy for the purpose of discussing Dr. Putnam's challenge to us to reinvent how we connect. It was a very interesting evening, with many thoughts flowing back and forth. I had also invited Debbie and Carlota because they were both at the speech too, but they had other commitments. Hopefully they'll be able to come at another time.

It's so very easy to go back to the idea of wanting to change how society is. I think that's unlikely to happen. As Putnam challenged us to do, we must look for a new approach.

We came up with a couple of ideas - more looseness in organization of groups and new approaches including making things together as an activity. We are contemplating if we can incorporate that into our NewComers Group.

I'm sure I'll be up for hours as my brain is in overdrive now, mulling all this over.

Tomorrow I have my United Way presentation. I would *greatly* appreciate your good thoughts for me as I try to communicate what my organization does for the community. I feel very inadequate to tell its story. We are limited, of course, by considerable confidentiality concerns.

I have stripped more wallpaper today - I woke up very early and decided that was a good way to start the day - before I took a shower. I'm getting close to the end of that project - I have only a little bit of the walls left, but they're in an area with lots of nooks and crannies so it will take a bit of work.

If you're going to strip wallpaper, assemble every tool on the market. At various times, you will swear any particular one is the key to making it easier. Basically, to sum up, it's a bitch. There's nothing else that can be said about the whole job. At one time I thought I wanted wallpaper. Let me tell you, I'm *way* over that. I may paint a design on the wall, but I doubt I'll ever hang any wallpaper. And I'll think twice about buying a place that has a lot of it. The house would have to be MAJOR cool.

I'm having company this weekend so I needed to get the paper bits off the floor today because that's the room Mark sleeps in. At the moment the bed he sleeps in is in pieces in my bedroom, which is next door, but it won't take long to put it back in there. And, it was good incentive to get more wallpaper stripped in there. I still have some nail holes to fill - 100 years worth of nail holes is a lot. When I took off the old wallpaper I could see multiple generations of nail holes that they hadn't patched because the wallpaper was going to cover them up anyway.

But, thank you to the former owners, who stripped the previous wallpaper before putting this up. Thank you Thank you Thank you. This was probably from the 40s and I can see at least two generations of painting on the woodwork, as well as the varnish, so this must be at least its third incarnation of wallpaper. Thank goodness the stripped off the old stuff before putting this on. And, blissfully, it's the old stuff put up with wheat paste, probably - which seems far easier to deal with than the newer stuff.

I went this evening before dinner and bought some of the paint - the base color. It's a Porter Paint color called "sweet rice." I chose the Porter Paint in a high hiding formula because the stuff is just incredible in its ability to cover and I really don't want to prime the walls. I hate priming - seems like a complete waste of time to me. I used this paint in my office in a sage color. This is just a warm beige. I'm not sure exactly what I'm going to do but I think sponge two other colors on top of this - maybe a creamed coffee color and a coopery-bronze color. We'll see how it goes.

I want to experiment with some colors in the studio and see what I like best. I'm fortunate to have a guy, Steve, who mixes paint at the local Star store, who is a true artist and can match any color you bring him in any form. He worked for an independent company and when they were bought out the local Star store was smart enough to ask him to run the paint store, and created a separate entrance for the paint area, so his years of loyal customers would follow him. Of course, we all have. I have yet to run into anyone in town who works on their house a lot who doesn't know Steve. I've taken in everything from a photo to embroidery floss and had him match the color.

I'm not sure I'll start painting tonight but I might. I think I'll be awake for many hours yet thinking about the conversation regarding Putnam's book so I might as well be doing something else at the same time.

Stillwater Altrusa Conference

I have been in Stillwater, Oklahoma at the Altrusa conference for our district. We are District 8, which is KS, MO, AR, and OK. There were thirteen of us who went from our club, including Julie and I. Unfortunately, Cynda and Carla are not in this photo. It was Julie's first conference and my second one.

Peggy got us both involved in Altrusa and I have found the women to be very welcoming and friendly. It has been a really good experience for me, even without that benefit Dr. Putnam mentions of it decreasing my chance of dying by half during the next year!

The first night of conference is a little welcome and time to chat and visit. Even though this is only my second conference, I knew quite a few people and also met some new folks.

Julie and I went out to dinner after the welcome. We decided to go to Eskimo Joe's, which is actually loved by the locals, despite being "famous" beyond the town's borders. I asked a number of local people for recommendations and it came up from every single one. Also mentioned by everyone was Hideaway Pizza but we didn't make it there this trip.

As we were walking out of the hotel, we saw a couple of ladies from the local group outside the door. They were so friendly and asked if we needed directions. Well, they ended up just going with us, which was wonderful.

The food at Eskimo Joe's is really good. They're famous for cheese fries and we had those, as well as a burger. Yummy stuff. Our waiter was fun - I took his photo with Julie. The only down side was that we got there late so they started blasting the music and we couldn't really talk. But, it was fun and an experience, of course. I hear the Eskimo Joe's t-shirt is the best selling right behind Hard Rock. I did not get one. I'm not really a t-shirt person.

The next morning my first order of business was to reassemble our gift basket. Most clubs bring one and it's a silent auction to generate money for a project of the local group. The silent auction made over $1,500 and included a variety of things. Ours was a Victorian theme in a hatbox. It made a little over $80, I think. Gift baskets generally make about half their value and this was over $200 worth of stuff so it was a little under, but not bad considering how much stuff there was and that there were only about 140 people there.

The morning was a business meeting for the district and then there were workshops in the afternoon. One of the best things about conference is getting to visit with people from other groups and seeing what they do in their groups.

There is a board that runs conference and the head person is the governor. At this conference, all 11 past Governors who are living were there. It was really neat. We have a past governor from our club - Cynda, who is second from the left. She was one of the youngest Governors ever, I think. Peggy is the Governor-elect for our district. She will be installed in Salina next year. It was really neat to have all 11 past governors there, so we tried to capture a photo. All of these ladies I've had contact with have been lovely.

That night, after a barbecue, we went shopping in downtown Stillwater. The stores stayed open late for us and we did our part for the local economy. I'm not a big time shopper, but some of these ladies are. I did get a few things, but nothing major.

We we got back to the hotel, there was a little reception by the Salina group. They're hosting the conference next year and using a safari theme so we had "jungle juice." It came in a spirited form with vodka or the less popular plain version.

The next morning we had more business and then the luncheon where the awards were announced. Our group won a membership award, which I'm very proud of. The afternoon was full of workshops. We heard about some wonderful projects that some people are doing in their areas - from a Drug Court where a judge takes her court room into the schools, to a program that provides fresh milk to children.

Saturday night was the big banquet. Some people get very dressed up. I'm not into that sort or thing, so I just wore black slacks, but it is kind of nice to see everyone all dressed up.

We absolutely loved Stillwater. And one of the reasons was how friendly everyone was. Considering what I've been mulling over since seeing Dr. Putnam, I have to say that the residents of Stillwater are as welcoming as I have ever seen.

Julie and I stayed at the Hampton Inn. I have nothing but wonderful things to say about them. If you go to visit Stillwater - and I do recommend it - be sure and stay at the Hampton. They were fabulous - from the time I made the reservation until I checked out this morning. Every detail was taken care of. They did a wonderful job. The hotel was full and yet there never seemed to be any problems with plenty of food at breakfast or cleanliness or any of the other things you might expect. They did a great job. To top it off, the beds were comfortable, the rooms had a fridge and microwave, and it was quiet. Every person we talked to from the front desk, to the woman doing our room to the guy mopping the lobby floor was pleasant and friendly. It's one of the best hotel experiences I've ever had, and I've had a lot of them.

In fact, every single person I had contact with in Stillwater was friendly - from the hotel to the downtown shops to the local Altrusa folks. People often don't grasp that when you visit a town for a long weekend, you have contact with very few people. As a result, one negative experience has a real impact.

Unfortunately, we didn't have time to see a lot of Stillwater. So, I'm just going to have to go back. It's only about a three hour drive from me, so very easy to get to.

One of the highlights was getting to know Cheryl, one of the ladies we met the first night. She was so sweet. We had lunch with her at a Mexican restaurant called El Vaquero before leaving town. She is just a doll. We both really enjoyed getting to know her and I think she'll be someone I keep in touch with for a long time.

This restaurant was a fun place and the food was great. They had an area with these wonderful tiled steps and a fountain that used to be the waiting area on a lower level. It's now closed because it's not ADA compliant, but you can still see it. Very fun place.

Mama

Today would have been Mama's 86th birthday. I miss her.

Dr. Robert Putnam's Speech in Hutchinson at the Dillon Lecture Series

Tuesday morning I was privileged to hear Dr. Robert Putnam, the author of "Bowling Alone," who is considered by many to be one of the greatest thinkers of our time. He was part of the Dillon Lecture Series at Hutchinson Community College.

He addressed four questions during his speech:
1. What's been happening to our social connections (what he calls "social capital") over the last 40 years?
2. The answer is it has frayed. The next question is "Why?"
3. So what?
4. What can we do about it?

He spent most of the time talking about what has happened to our social capital and giving examples of how it has frayed. As he put it, "Social networks are almost magical in their effects on our lives."

He looked at data of organizations over the last 100 years, and also at data gathered by various surveys that measured non-organizational social capitol - such as how often are we going on picnics. (5 times a year in 1950, only twice a year last year on average - down 60%)

He, of course, related all figures to a percentage of the population - how many people are doing any particular thing from the number of people available to do that activity.

He looked at 32 organizations. All of them are down 50-60%. The only time in the last century that our numbers have dipped as low as they are now is during the Great Depression. After WW2 was the biggest boon, for about 20 years. Then it started to level off and eventually head south.

He talked about religion - 1/2 of volunteering, 1/2 of donations and 1/2 of organizational memberships in this country are related to religion. That is also down.

Every indicator from church to dinner parties to getting together with family to joining a club is down 50-60% - some much more dramatically. One example he gave is playing bridge. In 1957, 40% of adults played bridge. Now, 6% of people play bridge.

1964 seems to be the watershed year - that's when things start to go downhill.

He spoke about eating dinnner together and how this is something done in almost all cultures - as the sun goes down, people gather for dinner - but not in our culture. We're losing this connection too. We've also doubled the number of people who live alone, so they can't eat dinner with the family - there is no family.

Why?
There are multiple causes but "TV is lethal for social capital." Those are his words - backed up by data from multiple sources. The average American watches four hours of television a day. I'm not watching my four hours, which means someone else is watching eight. He put it so eloquently when he said, "People watch Friends instead of having friends." It's so true. When I invite someone over and they hesitate because "fill in the blank TV show comes on at 8..." I am so disheartened. How we got to the point that people would chose a box with pictures over human contact I don't know, but there we are. Well... I have digressed from my report. Back to that...

He said moving from farms to urban is not it because that was happening before the trend started. But, suburbs are deadly. For every 10 minutes of communting time you have, you lose 10% of your social capital. If you have 20 minutes, you lose 20%.

Women were always great at social networking, but he said that women entering the work force is not the root cause, either. Trends are down even among single men, who would not be affected by that.

He said he looked for places where these things were not true. The only people who are very connected these days are the WW2 generation. I always hear people talk about that time as when they were bonded together and there was no way to explain it if you didn't live in it. I believe that. But now I wonder if the reason people remember it so fondly was all this connection they had with each other.

He said he's not certain yet about the internet - it has some good points and some bad points - the jury is still out on that one.

So What? Why do we care?
Well, the single biggest predictor of a crime rate is how many people in a neighborhood know each other by their first names. Crime rates are more affected by social capital than they are by the number of cops on the beat. School test scores are more affected by parental involvement than they are by the number of teachers.

It's also valuable in terms of money, getting jobs, etc. A chicago economist has calculated the value of your address book and determined it's one of the most valuable things you own.

Frankly, your life depends on social capital - not only that someone will bring you soup if you're sick. But, social isolation is the same risk factor to your health as smoking. People who join 1 group decrease their risk of dying in the next year by half. If you join 2 groups, you decrease your risk by 3/4.

There is an actual physiological reaction to being with other people. Your body generates "stress buffers," which make it easier to fight infection.

How to Fix it?
Dr. Putnam pointed out that 100 years ago, people were in much the same situation we are right now - they had moved from farms to more urban environments, it was the industrial revolution and their lives were different - they had all kinds of gadgets that were new to them - like phones.

Because they'd moved to a more urban environment, things like barn raisings were no longer a way to connect. So, they invented a new one. Between 1890-1910, almost all of the major civic organizations we have today were created - Rotary, Lions, Kiwannis, etc. Between 1908-1913 all the major kids organizations were created - Boy Scouts, Big Brothers/Big Sisters, etc. were all created in that 5 year period.

His challenge to us was to INVENT a new way of connecting that fits our lives today. We cannot go back to the old ways so what is our new way?

A friend was sitting behind me at this and leaned over and said, "I think your studio play dates are one way." And, they are. But, unfortunately, I've been trying to figure out how to address this problem for about 15 years. I've had more events at my house than I can count. And people are always happy to come to my house - and I'm THRILLED by that - I love having people in my house - but that idea has not spread to a single person. It has not encouraged anyone else to have a get together. So, as a way to address this problem, it's a dismal failure, other than it addresses it for me and to a smaller degree my circle of friends in a tiny way. But, it's not the same as a whole community having social capital.

I also have a theory - and this is not Dr. Putnam's research - but a "Patsy Theory." I think there's something special about being in someone's home. I was thinking the other day about Creative Sisterhood, and our book club, and Chicks, and none of those would have been as life changing as they are without someone opening their home.

The broader questions are: Why do we not want to open our homes? What are we doing there that we're so afraid someone will see? Why do we not want human contact? Obviously, we do, or people would not say "yes" to invitations. So then the question becomes "Why do we not SEEK human contact?"

I've been thinking about this for about 15 years now and since I saw him speak, it has been in the back of my mind constantly. I'm mulling over what can be done. Obviously, many have to be involved in it.

If we keep organizations as our connection I think they're going to have to be much "looser" and "free" and with few restrictions. I think that's why Red Hat Society works so well and their numbers are increasing while all others are depleting. It's fun, it's friendship and it doesn't have too many rules. I know that is key but I'm beginning to doubt if any of today's traditional clubs and organizations can accept that challenge. I'm beginning to think we are going to have to create new groups that are designed for today's lifestyle and let the old ones die. That's very sad, but I see very little interest in change and growth among any of the "old guard" groups.

Creative Sisterhood

I got up a little after 5 yesterday as I had a very full work day but also needed to prepare for our monthly gathering of Creative Sisterhood. This group is such a gift in my life. I'm so very glad I wrote that email 18 months ago, inviting these five women to gather with me. It didn't go the direction I have expected, but it is wonderful and I wouldn't change anything.

Virginia could not be with us last night and she was missed. But it was an exceptional evening. The energy was amazing. We had a good experience together. Of course, my topic was Dr. Putnam's speech. Julie spoke about the talk in Newton a few weeks ago.

Yesterday morning when I was hanging out clothes - hoping it wouldn't rain - I was again drawn to the wild violets growing in my back yard. They come up in cracks and crevices near the clothes line.

Wild Violets always remind me of my mom. She gathered them from all over her yard and planted them under a big maple tree in the front yard. They covered the ground there and were always so wonderful to look at. The first spring in my house was the first year after I'd lost my mom and I loved seeing that I had wild violets in the back yard.

I always bake something for Creative Sisterhood and yesterday morning very early I was hunting online for a Pineapple Upside Down cake recipe. Never mind the 1000 plus cookbooks I own - I looked online for one. And I found one. Surprisingly, it was Martha's first Pineapple Upside Down cake. I used the pecans this time, which I haven't done before. But I still left off the cherries. Cherries remind me of the cough syrup I had by the gallons as a kid. No cherries for me...

If you're now in the mood for Pineapple Upside Down cake... with or without cherries... here's the recipe I used. The egg whites do help the texture so it's not so dense.

http://www.texascooking.com/recipes/pineapupsidecake.htm

Pineapple Upside-Down Cake
Homemade Pineapple Upside-Down Cake is so good and so pretty. Its special enough for company, but quick enough for just the family.
1/4 cup butter
1 cup firmly packed brown sugar
3/4 cup chopped pecans
20-ounce can of pineapple slices, drained, reserving 5 tablespoons juice
3 eggs, separated
1 cup sugar
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
maraschino cherries
Preheat oven to 350°F.
Melt the butter in a 9-inch cast iron skillet. Add the brown sugar and pecans; stir well to thoroughly combine, then turn off the heat -- dont cook it. Arrange 8 pineapple slices in a single layer over the brown sugar mixture (your 9-inch skillet should accommodate 8 slices without overlapping). Set the skillet aside.

Combine the flour, baking powder and salt in a bowl; set aside.

Beat the egg yolks at medium speed until they are thick and lemon colored. Gradually add the sugar, continuing to beat. Add the flour mixture to the yolk mixture, and stir in the reserved pineapple juice.

Beat the egg whites until stiff peaks form. Fold the whites into the cake batter. Pour or spoon the batter evenly over the pineapple slices.

Bake at 350°F for 40 to 45 minutes. Cool the cake in the skillet for 30 minutes; then invert it onto a serving plate. Place a maraschino cherry in the center of each pineapple ring.

Quote of the Day

"I read about it on television." --- a dear friend who obviously had a momentary lapse

I Am No One's Daughter

From a very early age I was aware my years with my mom were fleeting - probably because I was born when she was 42 and my brothers were already married with kids. I knew people died - great aunts and uncles and all of that - and I knew my mother was closer than my brothers.

I devoted many, many, many hours of thought to losing my mom - even as a young child. It was always in my mind - from the time I was conscious of having thought. I had a sense I should always be "preparing" somehow. When my father died when I was 11, I realized one can never be prepared, and decided one should spend time contemplating life without that person. When my only grandparent died two years later, I knew it didn't matter how it happened, there was no preparation one could do. If it was slow like my father, or sudden like my grandmother, it was still a sucker punch in the gut that left you gasping for breath. I knew when the time for my mother came that I would be incapacitated with grief.

So, my focus changed from "typical" preparation, to my own brand of it. I made it a point to soak up every single little bit of life with her. When I would visit, I would lie in bed in the mornings and listen to the sounds of her house - her dishes clanking in the sink, taking Avon orders on the phone, the front door banging as she went to the outdoors she loved - just little things that were the sounds of life in her house. I would lie still and close my eyes and be careful to commit every detail to memory - my deep memory. I knew those days were fleeting, when I could be in my mother's house, and be surrounded by that. And sweet as they are, the memories are all I have now. I will never again be able to lie in my mother's house, or hear her voice in the distance or smell the food she was preparing.

Soak up every moment with your loved ones. If you have some "issue" with someone you love - fix it. The test I ask people to use is if you found out tomorrow that your mother/father/sister/uncle/whatever were going to die the next day, would you call them/go see them/make your peace. If the answer is yes, then don't wait. Do it today. None of us ever know when death is coming with no warning. Few of us have the privilege of knowing in advance when our loved ones will depart this world.

My mother's birthday is Sunday and for reasons I don't understand, it's always one of the hardest days of the year for me. We were never big birthday people but that the first year I really thought I would not survive that day. I sobbed for hours, missing Mama, and knowing that I hadn't even reached the anniversary, which was to come soon after. Of course, I did survive, as others before me have and ones after me will too.

But if you're fortunate to still have your parents in this life with you, take note of it - enjoy it - relish it. Forgive traumas and transgressions. Forgo reliving the bad parts of the past. Find joy.

When people rant about their parents, I wish I could show them the perspective of no longer being someone's child. I walk through the world alone. I am no one's daughter.

Wilde Quote

Where there is sorrow there is holy ground. - Oscar Wilde

Puzzling

I recently got an email from someone, telling me that they loved reading my blog but were going to have to quit because it made them sad. I asked why that was. The response was that they felt left out.

This person does not even live in the same state I do, so it's not like I could include them, even if that were feasible from other perspectives. But, it gave me reason to ponder the effect blogging has on people.

I confess that I do not read a ton of blogs, but there are some I check in on periodically. I am very fond of ones that include photos and art and I do like ones that have a variety of entries - where some philosophy is mixed in with some daily life bits.

I certainly never considered that my blog could have the effect of making anyone feel left out. I don't know what to do about that. It's really a chronicle of my life and that's what is here, along with some thoughts and ramblings. I can't imagine what I would be able to do differently - I only have this one life.

Perhaps I give the idea that my life is all perfect. It's not. I've got dirty clothes and dirty dishes and clutter everywhere and problems with work and friends and loved ones and all the rest - just like everyone else. But I would not publish those things.

I save my deep hurts and deep questions for my private, handwritten journals. I never forget that this is a public forum. Besides, it's much better to look at a photo of the neighbor's tulips than my pile of junk by the front door.

Church and Stripping

The Weekend Time is winding down and I'm not ready for that to happen. I haven't done nearly everything I wanted to do this weekend, even though I've been busy almost every moment. That seems to be the story of my life - never enough moments.

It is a beautiful day here. I've been enjoying all the tulips in bloom on my street. Unfortunately, none of them are in my yard. I have some tulips in the back yard but they are a little shaded so they haven't bloomed yet.

Teresa and I went to church at Trinity this morning. I wanted to show support for Nick, the minister, after his sermon before our election on the marriage amendment. He has always been an outspoken proponent of human rights - for all humans. And I have always been appreciative of his approach. We went that morning and this is my first opportunity to go again.

He is a powerful speaker and we are privileged to have him in our community. He is under-appreciated by many, it seems, including some in his congregation. This town needs him. No question about it.

I decided when I went last time that I need to make an effort to go more often - he is a powerful speaker and I need to take advantage of this wonderful resource I have right in my own community. The associate pastor there is also very good.

We went to lunch afterwards and then I came home and started stripping wallpaper again. Here at the end of the day I've got maybe 1/3 of the room done and I'm already officially sick of the process. But, thankful I have a steamer, which does make it easier than anything else.

In moving things I ran across some things I'd bought at a garage sale that I had forgotten about. I'd bought some old thread spools and such for decoration in the sewing room. But, there were also a couple of other things with them I'd forgotten - two old water color sets, and some old envelopes.

I love old stamps and envelopes and bits of handwriting. This was a ziplock baggie full of things and it was $1. The oldest thing I found was from 1909 and the most recent from 1930. They are just envelopes, although there is one card in there that's written on. But, they are just the envelopes and notations, "ans."

I was just sitting down on the edge of the bed to look at them when the doorbell rang. It was one of the neighborhood kids selling a school discount card. Of course I bought one. I generally buy anything like that, just to support the school. Of course, if I were running the world, we'd just give the schools enough money and not make the kids go out and raise it. But, in my world, teachers are some of the best paid and most respected people. Professional sports players - well, lets just say - like farmers, they'll need another job to support themselves. I got nothing against professional sports - but the money that is spent on it is insane. I digress...

While I was downstairs I sat down for a little snack - celery with blue cheese dressing and some water to drink - but I kept it brief. Wallpaper doesn't strip itself, unfortunately. I did take another break to write for a bit upstairs. I absolutely love having my studio and I've noticed in the last few weeks that it is also becoming where I do a lot of journaling.

I have tried two new journaling techniques lately and one of them is something I'm really enjoying. The other is an experiment - sometimes those work - sometimes not. I'm afraid this is in the latter category - at least for me.

I thought I might hate stripping wallpaper a little less now than I will when it's 100 degrees outside. Holding a steam plate is probably going to be even less fun then.

This wallpaper is probably from the thirties or forties. Thank goodness, whoever put it up, took down what was there before this. I can also see where they wrote on the wall about how many rolls they needed. This is the only room I have where the wallpaper has not been painted over already. I decided that any that had been painted over I just didn't have the energy to strip at this point. Maybe later, but not now.

I'm very tired and I think it's time for a long bath before bed. I'm grungy and worn out.