ER

I just got home from the emergency room. I am not a good patient. It's very scary being sick - and especially all alone. I'm not sure what anyone else could have done for me, but I didn't like being there all alone.

Anti Theft Devices

I wrote a little tirade a few weeks ago about shopping and how it is becoming more difficult all the time. All the various anti theft devices seem to equal anti-customer.

Tonight at ye olde Wal-Mart I experienced yet another shopping first. I was stopped as I left Wal-Mart so they could scan my receipt and highlight a $50 item I had purchased - a large rug. Now, a few weeks ago, no one paid any attention to the $75 camera card I purchased. I guess they only care about items they can actually see.

I was not happy. At all.

Your anti-theft device is to stop the paying customer, who has to find the receipt she has dropped into her purse, while balancing the bags she's carrying, so you can put a yellow highlighter on it. Great. That's brillant. What a good idea.

So, I'm detained - as if I'm a common criminal, people are backed up behind me to get out the door, and you want to color my receipt.

I asked what the purpose was and the answer was that if I lost my receipt someone could come in and take a rug. Apparently it's OK to take something small they can't see in the bag, however.

I just don't like how the world works more and more these days. I'm not sure how irritating me after I've spent money in your store is an anti theft device.

BTK Sentenced

The last two nights I've listened to a replay of the day's events in Judge Waller's court room as the BTK sentencing has occurred. It has been a trying time for this area.

As we learn more about this killer, it's apparent that he was more than a little lacking in his abilities. He made many stupid mistakes. But he got a lot of lucky breaks.

I watched the victim's family members speak last night and was struck by just how vehement many of them were and how much name calling there was. I've never lost anyone in this manner, thankfully, and so I cannot imagine what it feels like to be in their shoes. Their disgust and hatred for Dennis Rader was obvious.

I'm not suggesting that it's not understandable, but I'm not sure it's beneficial either. I guess that's for the psychologists to figure out.

Since we started allowing people to witness executions, we've learned that people don't get from the experience what they expect. I think it's a negative in the long run. People are willingly subjecting themselves to something that can be psychologically damaging.

My friend, Sondra, and I were talking about that this morning and she summed it up beautifully. She said there are experiences that leave her feeling like there's a "pile of shit over in one little corner of the brain and you can't clean it up." It's so very true. That's exactly what some traumas are like. I'm not sure we should allow people to willingly subject themselves to more of them - like watching someone die - even someone who has done a loved one harm.

As research on the brain progresses, we continue to find indications that the brains of criminals are built differently. Evidence mounts that pedophiles do not "choose" to do what they do - their brains are built in a way that makes it no easier for them to control their actions than for you or I to control what color eyes we're born with.

Serial killers are such a rare thing that we have very little evidence to know how they're "built," but there are indications that their brains are different.

We had an opportunity to study Daumer - he was very cooperative - and we squandered it. From what I've read about him and the interviews I saw with him, he seemed - unlike so many - to have genuine remorse. He seemed to know he was a monster but he just couldn't stop himself. He wanted to find out why.

Unfortunately, serial killers are continually sent into a penal system where they're killed in a relatively short amount of time instead of to a lab where they're studied the rest of their lives. So, we're not likely to learn much this way.

It's odd that we care so much about civil rights until we send people into prison and then we do so knowing that they're likely to be killed brutally. I'm not sure why we think that's preferable to lethal injection. I guess just taking chances.

http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2002/12/30/1041196598046.html

http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/bb/neuro/neuro01/web2/Solano.html#6

Damn Spammers, Part Deux

On my blogger account, I made it so there could be no anonymous comments to get rid of the spammers. But, of course, some people are ballsy enough to just join in order to spam. Of course, they're not bright enough to generate their own content so anyone would read about anything they might have to say in the first place, but they have plenty of time to spam. Hopefully blogger will delete them, but in the meantime we have to deal with them. Pity life doesn't come with an asshole filter.

Life is Wild

While I was away, my flowerbed went crazy. The sweet potato vines are everywhere now - they're even growing up onto the porch. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with them all but they're certainly doing what I love - growing - profusely!

I also saw something that was a very happy sight - bees - lots of bees. The bee population in the US has been declining over the last few years and it's encouraging to see them in the flower bed. I spotted three different kinds doing what they do best - pollenating.

Tonight I'm planning to get some painting done that needs to be done before I can move back in.

The floor guy told me he thought one of his helpers would be willing to help with some other things around the house. I'm waiting on a call from him. I would really like to hire some help. It seems nearly impossible to hire people for small jobs. I just need some help. I'm out of time to get everything done myself. Hopefully he will call tonight.

I had lunch with Julie, Teresa and Trish so we could all talk about Kansas Dialogue, which is where we spent the weekend. I did, however, on my way to lunch stop in to see my favorite little baby - Lily. She's learned to wave now and waved at me through the glass door of Diana's store. Talk about heart-melting. I only got to spend a little time with her, but she drifted off while I was holding her. I had to give her to Diana so I could leave, and before I got out the door she was awake. The child is like me in that she is asleep one second and wide awake the next. So, she was up to wave goodbye to me too. What a cutie.

I'm very behind on blogging but real life is just wild at the moment. Hopefully I'll get caught up soon, but I still have Puerto Rico things to add, much less the last trip.

Floors Done

I returned home last night after two weeks on the road, and stopped by the house to find Bart getting ready to put another coat on the stairs and downstairs floors. They look great.

I stayed with Sondra last night. She's so good to me - gave me her master bedroom suite and fed me wonderful food and babied me in general. I must confess that I LOVE being babied. She's such a dear person to me and took such good care of me.

She went over with me today to look at the floors. I still have lots of work to do - new quarter round and painting the baseboards, plus lots of trim work.

I also have to paint the dining room since part of it has new drywall and finish the soon-to-be-library walls upstairs. It makes no sense to move things back in until that's all done. So, I'll be working in to the wee hours the next few weeks to get all that done. This weekend will be my first one at home with nothing to do but focus on the house in quite some time so that's what I'm going to do - focus on the house.

Damn Spammers

Can the asshole spammers never leave us alone for even a moment? It's bad enough they want to fill my inbox with crap, now they can't leave any of my blogs alone. I had to make my discussion list by approval only to keep them out, invest in services to keep my inbox relatively clear and now they're on my blog.

I guess I'll have to start not allowing annoymous comments. I hate to do that but I guess it's the only answer - at least until the blog services offer something better.

Many people who want to comment about something email me anyway, but I resent having to make changes because people trying to sell something want to use me to do it. Get your own freaking blog or website or whatever and leave me and this little community alone. If we want your fill-in-the-blank product we can find it on our own.

I $(#@^&# hate the $#&$^#@ spammers. OK, you can fill that in with the expletive of your choice, and those of you who know me know which one I would choose.

The End Times Draw Nigh

If you have any doubt that the end times are near, wipe it away. I drove through blinding rain on Tuesday in the Mojave desert. You know - desert - cactus - dry heat. No, no, no. It was very wet and rather cool. There was a flash flood warning in the desert.

Who says we humans can't screw up things like the weather?

This photo was taken after the storm's worst was finished. You can see the clouds trying to break. At one point I was driving 30 mph in a 70 mph zone and considering pulling over. But, by that time, most people had, so I pretty much had the road to myself.

It did result in some beautiful vistas - none of which my little digital did justice to. I was wishing that I had a "real" camera with me. But, I didn't and therein lies the rub. If I didn't have the digital, I wouldn't have any. So, there you go.

Yarn

I recently purchased some yarn that I'm in love with. It's called "Kiss" and it's the softest yarn you can imagine. I've started a scarf in it - it's just so wonderful. That's my little discovery of the day.

Time

How is it that we have no time, anymore? We all still have 24 hours in the day, every day. And, we have all these "time saving devices" - from washing machines to microwaves. How can we not have any time?

I fall into the same category as many others - never enough time to do everything I want or need to do. But, I can't figure out why that is.

I often say that "my life is overflowing in all directions" and that's an apt decription. Obviously, I like it that way or I'd live differently, but I can't figure out how it always seems to work out that way.

My friend, Leah, says, "I know you don't *try* to make your life wild but it always seems to be." I don't know why, either - but it seems to be the case.

Floor Update

I got a call from "Floor Guy" tonight. Bart tells me that things are going well.

He has the downstairs prepped and will start on the upstairs shortly. I can't wait to see them all done. He says they're looking good, so that's encouraging.

Sanding hardwood floors is a job best left to an expert and I'm fortunate to live in the same town as Bart, who is one. Hardwood only has so many sandings in it until you get down to the groove part - once you sand past that you're screwed. So, it's important to get it right.

I think I'll be really pleased with them.

Relaxed

Well, I slept well last night - probably just less stress since all the moving of things is done. The last few days have been a whirlwind. At the moment I"m sitting in a restaurant with great wi-fi and I must be the only person on it. Ah... bliss. It's amazing how connected we are these days - cell phones, laptops and PDAs.

Vacated

Well, I have vacated my home for a few days while they do the floors. It was a big mess getting everything all moved. Terry stopped by unannounced to help at just the perfect time. He and Greg helped me finish up with the last minute things.

Hopefully I'll get some photos along the way of the process. I'm exhausted. I hope I ADORE these floors.

I am going to have to essentially move back into my home. The mere thought wears me out even further.

Moving is Moving

The movers are here right now, emptying the room full of boxes of stuff that I brought from my mom's after she died. It's much more emotional for me than I expected.

I decided to get away from that and walked in to see the box of my recently-ex-bf's stuff that I need to send back to him. I just haven't been ready to do that either - not sure why - but I just haven't, even though it has been boxed up for a long time.

I didn't expect this to be emotional - I thought I was ready to deal with it - but I guess I wasn't. Oh well... no choice... I have to. Seems that's how much of life works - you do things when you have to. And I now have to.

Personality Soup

My committee was in charge of the Altrusa meeting for our local group on Tuesday night. We called it "Alphabet Personality Soup" and did a personality test.

My hope is that if people know how other people see the world that they can better understand then.

I will compile all the info on which type each person is and publish it in our newsletter.

This is Jan on the right - she's our president - and is one of the people who went to Puerto Rico. On the left is Mary Ann, who will be president for the next two years, starting in June.

Yoder Road Signs

I have noticed various road signs during travels that are specific to an area - elk crossing, rock falling, and many others. I was lamenting that we had nothing interesting around here.

Then one day I was driving to Wichita and noticed the buggy crossing signs near Yoder, an Amish community a few miles from where I live.

I realized it was a perfect example of not paying attention to what's nearby.

Piano Moving

The guy I had told could have the piano earlier arranged to get it today. I wasn't sure it would work out timewise as I had a dozen places to be at one time today but it all worked out.

He had the same movers who are coming tomorrow to move my things to a storage unit while the floors are done.

I was amazed by the young guy who handled one end of the piano all on his own. I dubbed him "SuperMover." I can't believe how much strength he had.

Fortunately, last night Terry came over and helped me clear the pathway to the piano so it all worked out.

I was planning to move it to Diana's store, but it's hard to sell these things and I don't think she was really wanting to have it there anyway. This way it's going to someone who will play and enjoy it.

Anyway, I'm hoping it's loved and enjoyed by them. I will miss it. It is a beautiful piece. I've had it for many years and it has been wonderful for me but it was time for someone else to enjoy it.

Ceilings, Floors, Sunporches and Videos

I spent a large part of today working on an MHA project that has gotten a little out of control. I think it's reigned in a bit now. Thank goodness.

The drywall guys were back today to work on the ceiling. I really like both of them - nice, hardworking, good guys. The floor guy stopped over to get a key so he can work here the next couple of weeks.
At one point they were literally bumping into each other and I thought. I'm not sure I can afford so much going on that people are bumping into each other.

I got to have lunch with Trish, which was really nice. I treasure her friendship so much.

This afternoon I called Diana and asked, "So, do you want to be in a video?" Her answer was, "sure, why not." That's one of the things I love about her - spontaniety.

I had to shoot my segment for the United Way video and we needed another person to act. So, we did that right after work. I hated it that I forgot my digital camera at home because it was a neat shot of Rob with the headphones and all. Oh well, just wasn't meant to be I guess.

Terry came over tonight and helped me move things in the sunporch. I'm really happy to have that done. The mover guys will take the piano out of there first thing on Friday, then do the other things I have for them.

The floor guy is starting on Saturday so I will have to make myself scarce.

Tuesday

I'm counting down the days of the week as I have to have so much done by Friday so they can start the floors.

Today they worked on the new drywall on the ceiling upstairs. And the painter did a second coat on the stairwell.

I had Altrusa tonight and our committee was doing the meeting, so I had to prepare for that. I also did a ton of running around for the MHA today. I have another big MHA project I have to get handled this week.

Sometimes there just isn't enough of my brain, energy and time to go around.

The fun part of my day was lunch with Teresa. I'm so behind that I haven't even had time to return Diana's phone call from Monday. I had hoped to pop in and say hello but that hasn't happened.

I'm really stretched to my limits and beyond right now.

Productive Day

I got a ton of things done today - movers are arranged for Friday, which was a big thing to get accomplished on the home front. The guy came and painted in the stairwell today but the drywall guy's helper, who was supposed to bring stuff over for him to use, never showed up - at least not while I was here - and he never called.

Tonight Jesse and Terry came over and helped move a bunch of things to the basement and that was such a huge help. I packed glassware while they were doing that so a significant amount of the glassware off the north wall of the dining room is moved.

I also set up a couple of appointments for Wednesday that are important ones - not the least of which is the United Way video shoot. In addition, the upholstery person is coming on Wednesday morning to look at the couch and chair I want to get redone.

I did take time for lunch with Debbie B. today. I called her on the spur of the moment and just caught her. I had planned to have lunch with Trish but it didn't work out. I need a break and some fun in my days to keep going when I've got big projects going.

I had my second coaching session this afternoon. It's good to have someone else's perspective on your life. I'm enjoying this. Well, that's not really true, "enjoy" isn't quite right. We've moved right to the touch issues so that's not fun, but it's productive. And, how can one expect to grow if you don't go through the ugly parts. This is just an ugly part.

I'm feeling OK about the state of things, but have to keep very busy over the next few days or I will not be able to accomplish what I need to do. Tomorrow night I have Altrusa so I won't be able to do anything then so I think I need to do another hour or so worth of things yet tonight. It's a good thing I don't need a lot of sleep!

Moving, Moving, Moving

I've been moving things around upstairs most of the day. Greg came over and helped me with some of the heavier stuff tonight. I'm sure now I can fit everything into the studio and bathroom, although I do still have to empty the two closets and there's always more in them than you think.

I cannot use my studio now. It is full of furniture and I can't get to any of my art supplies. This will be a test for me. I did keep out my watercolors and some very basic things to play with but I won't have much time for it anyway.

The trick will be that when the floors are done that I'll have to be careful to not scratch them so it will be a much harder proposition to get everything moved back into where it belongs. Hard to believe that four rooms of furniture can fit into one room, although it is stacked in places.

Tomorrow will be a very busy day and I have an early appointment so I'd best get to bed.

Artwork and Censorship

This little bit of art is raising the hackles of republicans. The artist had nothing to do with it being put in this exhibit. The exhibit used no public funds.

Relationships

I've been thinking tonight about relationships and how complex they are. Of course, if you involve two human beings - both very complex creatures - it's not hard to imagine a relationship being difficult.

I'm certainly not in a hurry to get into another one. I'm still puzzling over the last one and until I'm through with that, it would be unfair to get involved with anyone else.

It's not like people are beating down my door, anyway - but I have a theory that you should always be alone for at least two months for every year you were in a relationship. July 29 would have been 5 years for us, so I'm nowhere near ready to open myself to that yet.

It's hard to figure out how you get from being madly in love to being done. One of the things I've learned about myself is that I never fall out of love. The last day I was with him was just as intense for me as the first day - more so in some ways - and that's true for every relationship I've had. That fading away that others talk about just doesn't happen for me. If I feel it intensely to begin with, I still feel it years later. I guess it would be easier if it didn't happen that way, but that's how it is for me.

So many questions... I wish I could have the answers. How will I ever learn without the answers?

Altrusa in Puerto Rico

I was in Puerto Rico last week for the Altrusa International Convention. Four people from our group went, which seems like a good showing.

This is a photo taken with some of the International officers and our group.

Left to right front row is Judy Atkinson who was the International President from 2003-2005, Lois Johnson from our local group, Peggy Hughes who's in our club and is also the Governor elect for our district. In the back row is Jan Blick, our local club president, Linda Nichols the International President for 2005-2007, Maureen Welch, International Treasurer for 2003-2005 and me.

I went a couple of days early to Puerto Rico so I will have more photos to share. It's a tropical paradise, as one might expect.

The conference was at the Westin Rio Mar, a very upscale resort about an hour's drive west of San Juan. But the first couple of days I stayed at the Excelsior Hotel in San Juan. It's recommended in all these Puerto Rico travel things as a great business class hotel but the travelers reviews were very mixed. I decided to just take some pix of my room as soon as I arrived and post them so anyone thinking about staying there in the future can decide for themselves. http://www.patsyterrell.com/excelsior/index.htm

I also ate at Augusto's, supposedly one of the finest restaurants on the island, that is at the Excelsior. The food was great, and the service the typical ass-kissing kind you find in a place like that. I'd rather have paid half as much and just had normal service. It was good, but overpriced - even with the ass kissing.

Full Saturday

I've had a very full but very productive Saturday - and I worked in some time for fun, too. How much more could one ask?

I rearranged my studio today to accommodate the furniture upstairs. I think if I'm careful and stack I can get everything that's upstairs into the studio and the bathroom - the two rooms I'm not having done.

I have confirmed with the Bart about the floors, and the drywall guy can get the ceiling in the library done this week, so that's a bonus. He's also going to repair the crack in the upstairs hallway wall. Well, he's going to mud over it and we'll hope for the best. Also, the guy who's going to help paint is coming late on Monday. So, it should be a busy week. I also need to get movers to take everything out for the floor guy.

Sondra has offered to let me stay with her while they do the floors, which is very sweet. Trish offered too. I guess it's like moving, you find out who your friends are. Terry and Jesse both offered to help move things and I think I may call them tomorrow and take them up on it. We'll see how the day goes.

Full Friday

Today has been a full, full day. To give you an idea of my schedule I haven't even had a chance to pick up my mail since I got back two nights ago.

This morning the drywall guy came and finished the ceiling repair in the dining room. I'm so glad to have that closet gone, although deciding where everything that was in there needs to go now is a bit of a challenge.

I'm not tickled about the ceiling in the first place - it has been lowered - but I just haven't had the guts to rip it out. It's lowered in the living room and dining room. Maybe one day I'll get that gutsy but I'm not there yet.

He did a great job matching what was already there. I also had him look at the ceiling in the upstairs room I'm going to make into a library. It is drooping and that can't be good news so I'm going to have to get it repaired.

I took some snaps of the garden today. I'm amazed at how much it has grown in the week I've been gone. It's all filled in now and very lush. It does have some grass so tonight I bought some of that stuff that kills grass but doesn't harm other things. I'll have to work on that tomorrow.

I'm not sure what has prompted the garden to go gang busters all of a sudden. It has been very, very, very hot here. So hot that today the Wichita zoo iced down the bears and served them apples frozen in ice. We're supposed to have temps over 100 for the next week or so I think.

When I left the rocks were very visible, now even the largest one is almost covered over. The squash vines are growing rapidly and the morning glories are huge, with big leaves. I know it's not the variety as these are all volunteer from last year's plants.

Whatever has happened, I seem to have done something right this year that I've failed to do previously.

Tonight Jesse called and asked about going to the Anchor. He had run into Terry in the hospital tunnel and they talked. So, Greg, Terry, Jesse and I went to Anchor for dinner about 7.

I recently got a new camera so we've been experimenting with it in all kinds of circumstances. I love this one of Jesse laughing.

After dinner I did some errands and Jesse and Greg came along. I had to go buy a copy of "Please Understand Me II." I want to use it for Altrusa on Tuesday night and the library's copy has been written on too much for what I want to do. Fortunately, there was one copy on the shelves at Hastings.

Carlin Observations for Sig Line

My friend, Marci, sent this today. I just couldn't resist making it my new signature line.

"They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it's worked for over 200 years, and we're not using it anymore." - George Carlin

Beamed Up

James Doohan, who played Montgomery Scott on the original Star Trek series, died yesterday at age 85.

He will be missed.

Ace Jackalope

It occurs to me that every time I put up a photo of Ace, that people want more information about the little guy. Well, he has his own blog now. Hopefully he will still make guest appearances here, but for the official lope lore, check out http://thelope.blogspot.com.

Puerto Rico

I returned last night from a week in Puerto Rico. I was there for the Altrusa International Convention. It was neat to meet ladies from all over who are also committed to the idea of literacy.

I went a couple of days early so I could enjoy some time in Puerto Rico, as I've never been there before. I'm still not exactly sure of the connection between Puerto Rico and the US. They are US citizens but do not pay federal taxes or vote in elections. Obviously, it's a complex situation and not one that requires my understanding, but I couldn't quite grasp the connections.

Someone told me it was Hawaii meets the third world. I was hoping for more third world. I really only saw the Hawaii part of it. It was beautiful, but very touristy. I could have done with a little more experience but there just wasn't time to do all I wanted to do - as if there ever is on a trip.

I took Ace Jackalope along for the ride. We stayed at the Westin Rio Mar so he got in some beach time, drank a Pina Colada at the bar that invented them, toured Old San Juan, and visited the rain forest. We ran out of time for the Bacardi distillery tour.

I also took photos of the Excelsior Hotel - one that is continually recommended but no one can agree on if it's good or bad. Why none of the dozens of people who've posted their thoughts bothered to take a few snapshots I don't know, but I addressed that problem. They'll go on a page at patsyterrell.com and people can look at them if they wish to see what it's really like. It was fine - by the way.

I will have numerous photos to post but at the moment am trying to deal with getting back to real life. I did arrive home to find the dining room closet has been ripped out and is history. That's a bonus. So, one home thing done. Yeah! Of course, the wall has to be mudded and then painted and... well... it goes on and on but at least the closet is gone.

It was a lovely trip to Puerto Rico, but necessitated dealing with the airlines, which was its usual horrific experience. Just when I thought things could not get more unpleasant with them, when I retrieved my bag from behind the counter because it had arrived on an earlier flight than I had - I discovered that it had been ripped open and my things scattered somewhere between here and Puerto Rico. I guess someone is enjoying my clothes and crocs today, as well as other trinkets tossed about. How nice.