Busy Sunday

It has been a busy day. But, here at 10 p.m. I'm completely packed, I did laundry, I rearranged some computer files, have gotten some things in the mail that needed to go out, and even had time for dinner with friends.

Diana called yesterday and asked if I wanted to go to dinner. It was Jocelyn, Teresa, Andrea, Diana and me. It was fun. I haven't actually seen Jocelyn in forever. She has been working retail for awhile now and needless to say the Christmas season was busy. I have really missed her.

I also tried to put together some of the bookshelves for the library upstairs today. I've written to them for further instruction because "push" is not sufficient. No matter how hard I push, the things to not go in. I've also tried hammering and that has proved unsuccessful as well. "Push" is a bit too vague for me, I'm afraid.

I'm hoping I have some time to write at the hotel. I have some things I'm turning over in my brain and I really need time to write about them. I'm taking a couple of journals - in anticipation that I will have time to work on them.

I am also starting to think about where I want to go in May. At this point Savannah seems like a good option. I have a travel voucher I have to use before July, so I want to make use of that. We'll see how things look as time gets closer. If I could find a cheap lodging option there that would probably be the answer.

Working Outside in January

It was 73 degrees today. In January. In Kansas. Last year at this time we were buried under one of the worst ice storms ever. I was blessed to have power during the whole thing but didn't leave my house for three days.

I took advantage of the weather to do some outdoor things. I moved a cabinet out of the shed to the backyard and washed it off. I'm going to put it in the basement to hold the gallons of paint and such. I had them stored in the closet in the dining room that I ripped out.

I also watered the lawn more. It's still not even what I would call "moist" and I've had water running on it for hours now.

I talked to both neighbors today. I'm sorry to say that Alex and Nicole are moving soon. They have four little boys under 9 in a two bedroom house. Obviously, they need more space, but I'm really sorry to see them go. They're great neighbors. And their boys are so sweet. Justin and Tyler, the two older ones, always talk to me if I'm outside when they are. I'll miss them. Hopefully I'll get new neighbors that are great.

Well, I'm headed upstairs to work for awhile before going to bed. I have a couple of Christmas presents I want to wrap. Yes, that's right, Christmas presents for 2006.

Sig line

"Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand - and melting like a snowflake."
~ Marie Beyon Ray

Thank Heaven It's Friday

I was awake until almost 5 a.m. and got up before 8. Here it is midnight and I haven't stopped all day. I did computer stuff all morning and then started watering the lawn. It's very dry here and they're suggesting people water lawns to cut down on fire danger. Considering I live on a pretty busy street with lots of cars - many of them being driven by idiots as best I can tell - it seemed like a good idea.

Right after lunch I took off for the office and a list of errands. I popped in to wish Diana a Happy Birthday and take her present in.

I had a dentist's appointment at 4 to get my two new caps. I'm still not completely satisfied with the color, but it's more natural looking and I'm not sure what else to do. I miss Jeff Rayl - he was an exceptional dentist. Thank goodness he did all the work in my mouth that's highly visible. It took about an hour to get the two caps on and I did not enjoy the experience.

Afterwards I went to dinner with Teresa and Julie. We went to Houlihans. I like the food, but they have no sense of timing. I told the waitress tonight - give me time to eat the salad - don't put my order in right away. That worked well. But before I had half the soup eaten, my pasta had arrived and was getting cold. Must we all shove the food down our gullets as quickly as possible, without bothering to chew, or heaven forbid actually enjoy the meal?

Sleep

I can't sleep... you'd know that if the time stamps on blogs ever worked properly but since they just randomly reset themselves I've given up on them ever being right. It's 4:32 a.m. I've been up nearly 24 hours and I'm not even especially tired yet.

I've been working on a ton of MHA things all day. The first of the year is a busy time for me and there is more to do than I have time to get done. To top it off, I have a conference next week and will be out of the office Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday.

I also spent about an hour on the phone with D-Link Support. Let me just say - do not purchase a 624M wireless router. I'm on my second one in less than 90 days. And, apparently, I'm about to be on my third one. Needless to say, at this point I'd like to get a different model as this one has some obvious problems.

I will say, however, that you get to talk to a real, live native English speaker when you call, which is a huge bonus. I don't care if you label me as politically incorrect, I freaking despise getting "Jason" in India (like I believe that's the name his mama gave him) who wants me to do very complex things to my computer and its various components when I'm spending 80% of my energy trying to figure out what in the hell he's saying. Just because you can say the words doesn't mean you can communicate.

Trust me, no one appreciates the difficulty of learning a second language more than me. But I don't want you practising it on me while we're talking about complex technical problems. If it were a simple problem I would have already figured it out. Duh. Chatting about the weather... the museum... where you live... great. Wiping my hard drive... no.

Well, it's time for me to head upstairs and go to bed. Even if I don't sleep, I need to rest. Fortunately, I've gotten a large amount of what was on tomorrow's to-do list accomplished already. But, there are still plenty of things that have to be done in the work day hours.

Games People Play

I have this little game I play when I'm driving long distances. I will flip through radio stations with a question in my mind - maybe about a situation or a person or whatever. I make this little deal with myself that the second or the third or whatever number song will have some significance for me with regard to this question.

On the recent drive, I was doing this as I was driving on Highway 60 across southern Missouri. Twice I asked the same question and had the same song come up three songs later in answer to it. The question was about a relationship in my life. The song was "When I Get Where I'm Going."

I just went and got the lyrics online to consider them more carefully. It came up twice on different stations, in response to the same question, within an hour.

Why don't I ever get the simple answers like, "Here's a Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares," "He ain't worth missing," or "Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys?" Those are all much clearer directives. Regardless, none of those happened to be the song that came up...

Maybe this is why I rarely listen to the radio except when I'm driving.

When I Get Where I'm Going
Artist/Band: Brad Paisley - with Dolly Parton

When I get where I'm going
On the far side of the sky
The first thing that I'm gonna do
Is spread my wings and fly

I'm gonna land beside a lion
And run my fingers through his mane
Or I might find out what it's like
To ride a drop of rain

(Chorus:)
Yeah when I get where I'm going
There'll be only happy tears
I will shed the sins and struggles
I have carried all these years
And I'll leave my heart wide open
I will love and have no fear
Yeah when I get where I'm going
Don't cry for me down here

I'm gonna walk with my grand daddy
And he'll match me step for step
And I'll tell him how I missed him
Every minute since he left
Then I'll hug his neck

(Chorus)

So much pain and so much darkness
In this world we stumble through
All these questions I can't answer
So much work to do

But when I get where I'm going
And I see my maker's face
I'll stand forever in the light
Of his amazing grace
Yeah when I get where I'm going
There'll be only happy tears
Hallelujah
I will love and have no fear
When I get where I'm going
Yeah when I get where I'm going

Fathers

When I was 36, fathers came up in casual conversation. Someone asked how long my father had been dead. I did the math and said "25 years."

In that very moment I thought... "wow... a quarter of a century... I've been an idiot for holding onto the pain I have about this relationship... it's stupid. Who do I think I'm hurting? He has rotted in the ground and I'm walking around every day pissed at him? How freaking stupid is that?" So, I stopped. Right then and there. I put an immediate end to that foolishness.

And you know what, in a few months I started to appreciate that some of the things I like about myself - like my sense of humor and the fact that I'm very sociable - are traits my father had. I started to appreciate the fact that he had a multi-racial crew at his sawmill in the 50s when, as one of the men who worked for him told me just a few months ago, "Jack Terrell was the only white man in the county then who'd hire a black man and pay him a decent wage."

Yeah, you know what, he was a crappy father in many ways. He had some issues and problems and loads of stuff I'm not going to go into in this public forum. But, hey, he was human. And he was funny and witty and when he died people missed him. The funeral home was overflowing with flowers - some from people my family didn't even know.

I'm convinced parents do the best they can every day with who they are at the time. They may not love us the way we want to be loved, but they love us the best way they know now. I can accept the good and let go of the bad or I can continue to carry around the weight of what he "did to me." He didn't do anything to me. He was just going through life being the broken person he was, like we all are. "Give it a rest" and "Let it Lie" was some of the best advice I've ever given myself.

I see people who want to define themselves as victims and survivors and from dysfunctional families and dozens of other labels. We're all bigger than any of those things - if we let ourselves be.

There's the old joke about wanting to get a support group of people from dysfunctional families together and the answer is - there already is one - it's the people on the freeway in the morning. Who didn't grow up in a dysfunctional family? I don't know a single person. Yes, some is more severe than others, but moving every few years, or having a father who was homebound from a car accident, or a mother who was running rum when it was illegal, or a father who was an alcoholic, or a dozen other things I can count among my friends, is all dysfunction. As I'm so fond of telling people, "ain't nobody living in a Norman Rockwell painting."

I'm not sure why we want to carry this pain around, but it seems to be something we get a benefit from. I certainly carried it around for years. I'm fundamentally different because I moved beyond that limiting view.

Is it all tidied up with a neat bow tied around it? Hell no. I'm 44 and I've never been married. Do the math on that one. Commitment is difficult for me. Life seems very temporary. Think maybe my father's absence and early death has anything to do with that? Probably. But I'm an adult and I have to take responsibility for my own life. I've had long term relationships and I've loved fully - with abandon - and I will again. Do I have issues with men? Hell yes. Does every other woman I know? Pretty much.

Men and women are different creatures and to consider that the bad relationship you had with your father is the only reason you're not completely in sync with a man is insane. I'm not saying it helps anything - but hey, we can't all live Jessica Simpson's perfect life with her daddy giving her a ring to be the man in her life until she got married with her virginity in tact. Oh, wait, her life with men isn't perfect either - she's getting divorced - and she lost the ring daddy gave her. I mean, really, it's great that her father was that kind of man. I'm just saying it's rare. And, in the end, it doesn't seem to equal happiness in relationships.

I'm not a parent, but really think most of them are just doing the best the can. It may not be what we hope for, but it's what we have, and we just have to work with it.

Home

I got home this afternoon about 5:00. All was well at home and at the office. I went straight to the office and worked until about 6:30. I haven't done much around the house tonight and haven't even unloaded the car. I'm weary.

I think mostly I'm weary about the idea of getting back to "normal life." I love my life, but it can wear a person out at times. The first of the year is a very busy time for me with work. I'm looking at the month of January and have only three free nights.

One of the things I'm going to be doing in this coming year is pulling back from some of the things I'm involved with. I must focus more energies on my writing and recording. I only have so much time that is not rented by my employer and I must use it judiciously.

Overall it is good to be home. It was very relaxing at Mary Ann and Jackie's house - I slept late and piddled around - but I do have a life going that requires some attention.

When I go to Kentucky, I often think about moving back there. I love some of the wonderful old homes in downtown Paducah. I think I've got one more house redo in me. Of course, that's said with more confidence than I might feel if I ever get this one done. All I need is a bunch of money - then it would be much easier.

But, as much as I identify with Kentucky and as much as I am a southerner at my core, I cannot find a place I belong in the area where I grew up. My views are so very different than many in my family that it's probably easier for them to not have my views "in their faces" all the time.

We never have any difficulties - I am very respectful - but that is "their territory," if you will. It's not appropriate for me to live in their territory and profess completely different views. It was their territory long before I came along. It's almost incumbent on the ones who are different to leave, so the family can preserve what it is about. Communities are small, close knit, and when someone in a family stands out as a "sore thumb" it's hard on everyone else. Maybe that's why I never returned there. Small communities are a prime example of "no man is an island."

I am blessed that I adore my family. I would never want to hurt them in any way. And if I lived there, it would be a constant "threat" to them because they would not know what I might say or do publicly that they would disagree with and then they'd have to deal with that with their friends. It would make them live "on edge" a bit, wondering what I might say or do. That would be a rude thing to do on my part. And I would not presume to do such a thing.

I don't agree with the majority of people in Kansas, either, but it doesn't hurt my family when my letters to the editor are published. It doesn't hurt them when I'm speaking at some event, putting forth views that would force them to "explain"it to their friends.

I am a person who seems to continually find myself in jobs - paid or voluntary - that lead to a public life on a small scale. And I have no reason to believe that that would be any different if I lived there.

But, it's wonderful I can go and visit and renew myself at the river. The confluence of the Ohio and Mississippi Rivers is a place I return to repeatedly. Standing on the bank, looking at the ripple in the water where the rivers join forces, is restorative to me.



I took this photo yesterday. I am standing in Illinois. Across the water on the left is Kentucky. Across the water on the right is Missouri. You can see the ripple in the water, and the color difference between the Ohio and Mississippi rivers.

This is at Cairo, Illinois. When I was young, this was where we went to shop. The town has really deteriorated in the last few years. It's a pity. You may recognize the name of the town from Mark Twain's writing. And, yes, it is named for the Egyptian town, although it's pronounced differently.

In November of 1803, Lewis and Clark spent five days here with their men, learning to use celestial navigational as well as other tools. They made their first latitude and longitude measurements at the confluence of the rivers. All maps made from their data began at this point. At the time of their expedition the confluence was in what is now Cairo, north of where it is today. Rivers are a living thing and their courses change. And, of course, the Lewis and Clark expedition was before the earthquake of 1811 that caused the Mississippi to run backwards for three days.



In 2001, I gave pieces of driftwood I gathered at the river to some friends with the following piece I wrote.

I am a person of rivers.

For those of us born to rivers, they are life itself. We speak of them reverently. We fear them. We cherish them. We are drawn to them by a force we cannot comprehend but have no choice but to obey. They flow through our souls. They define us.

We go to the river for strength, for guidance, for solace. We cannot possibly find our way in the world without returning to the river periodically. It beckons to us. We cannot deny its call. We learn at a young age that there's no point in even trying. Not that we want to anyway. The river knows when we are away from it too long. It summons us home.

We gather at the riverside for family celebrations, baptisms, and catharsis. We have rituals, public and private, that are carried out only on those banks.

The confluence of the Ohio and Mississippi Rivers is a place I return to when I've lost my way in the world. I have said prayers of thanksgiving and prayers of entreatment from the same spot. I have sought direction and consolation. I will do both again as long as I walk upon this Earth.

I gathered this driftwood on an April Day of 2001 with the idea of sharing it with a few special friends at Christmastime. I had no idea then how profoundly changed I would be by the end of this year. My life will never be the same as it was that day.

I can't give you the river. I can't even explain its attraction for those of us born to it. But I want to share with you a small token of it. May this driftwood encourage you to visit what restores you.

I hope the holidays are a time of joy for you and yours this Christmas.

Patsy
Christmas 2001

__________

While I was driving, I heard this song on the radio for the first time. The line regarding "muddy water" makes it appropriate to share here. This song definitely sums up my feelings about my place of birth.

Boondocks
Karen Fairchild/Kimberly Roads/Phillip Sweet/Jimi Westbrook/Wayne Kirkpatrick)

I feel no shame
I'm proud of where I came from
I was born and raised in the boondocks
One thing I know
No matter where I go
I keep my heart and soul in the boondocks

And I can feel that
Muddy water running through my veins
And I can hear that
Lullaby of a midnight train
It sings to me and
It sounds familiar

I feel no shame
I'm proud of where I came from
I was born and raised in the boondocks
One thing I know
No matter where I go
I keep my heart and soul in the boondocks

And I can taste that
Honeysuckle and it's still so sweet
When it grows wild
On the banks down an old camp creek
Yeah, and it calls to me like a warm wind blowing

I feel no shame
I'm proud of where I came from
I was born and raised in the boondocks
One thing I know
No matter where I go
I keep my heart and soul in the boondocks

It's where I learned about living
It's where I learned about love
It's where I learned about working hard
And having a little was just enough

It's where I learned about Jesus
And knowing where I stand
You can take it or leave it
This is me
This is who I am

Give me a tin roof
A front porch and a
Gravel road
And that's home to me
It feels like home to me

I feel no shame
I'm proud of where I came from
I was born and raised in the boondocks
One thing I know
No matter where I go
I keep my heart and soul in the boondocks

I keep my heart and soul in the boondocks

You get a line
I'll get a pole
We'll go fishing in the
Crawfish hole
Five-card poker on a Saturday night
Church on Sunday morning

You get a line
I'll get a pole
We'll go fishing in the
Crawfish hole
(Down in the boondocks)
Five-card poker on a Saturday night
Church on Sunday morning

You get a line
I'll get a pole
We'll go fishing in the
Crawfish hole
(Down in the boondocks)
Five-card poker on a Saturday night
Church on Sunday morning
(Say a little prayer for me)

A Joplin Visit

I'm in Joplin tonight at Greg's mom's house. I adore Miss Joy. She's been a big part of my life for a very long time and I never get enough of her.

The drive was uneventful - thankfully - my favorite kind of utlitarian trip.

Tomorrow I head home where my house is still in major Christmas mode. It will be some weeks before I have a weekend in which to denude the tree and convert my home to a non-yuletide spot. But, it will happen when it happens.

I hope your 2006 is off to a good start.

2006 Has Arrived

It is officially 2006. I went outside a little before midnight and looked at the stars as the new year arrived. I said silent prayers for those I love and for those I don't. I said prayers of thanksgiving for graces received and prayers of entreaty for graces needed.

2006

I'm having a very sedate New Years Eve, as I usually do. My brother and sister in law and I have been out to dinner and are back on the farm before 7 p.m. I'm not a big partier, so this day is largely lost on me. The last few years I've been with Nathan on this night - always at home, but always together - so this year is definitely different. But, change is good.

I visited the cemetaries today and put new flowers out. There's something very spiritual about connecting with one's history in that way. It's a way to honor the past and realize that our future is ultimately right beside them in that place, which means the present is all the more important.

I do not make New Year's resolutions, but I do use this time of year to think about what I want to focus on in the next year's time. I think this year will be the same as last - more serious about quiet time for prayer, meditation and thinking. That was my focus last year and it was a good one. I need to do even more of it.

It's hard to know what you think when you never take time to think.

Rainbow Beauty

This afternoon about 4 o'clock, we were treated to an amazing sight - a double rainbow. It was incredible.



It went all the way across the sky, clearly defined. I've only ever seen one or two double rainbows before. I couldn't get a shot of the whole thing because my camera doesn't have a wide enough lens.



We didn't know about it, but BC came down and told Mary Ann. She ran in to tell me. We were looking out the living room window and when I went outside to take pix I realized it was a double rainbow.



I went back in to let Mary Ann know so she could come outside and see it too.

For the briefest of moments, there was the beginning of yet another rainbow on the left. You can see it faintly in the photo below. It's just to the left of the main one, about where the trees start. It was faint, but clearly visible, but it never fully developed.

Bits of An Old Life

I hit the road today to catch bits and pieces of old lives I've lived. I guess that's as good a way as any to say it.

My destination was Murray, where I spent my first year of college and where my Aunt LaVerne is buried. I wanted to put new flowers on her grave and just see what had changed in the town since I was there a couple of years ago.

On the way I stopped in Mayfield at the Happy House Restaurant. I was just driving by and saw it and thought - hey, that looks like a place I would like - so drove around the block and visited.


It is the home of Mayfield citizen Howard Happy, who owned an office supply company. The house was built in 1937 and has been a restaurant for about 20 years.

I had the chicken with curry dressing. Dressing was Hellman's mayo with curry in it. Really, it was quite delicious. The chicken was shredded white meat, and there were grapes, almonds and other goodies there. It came with the dressing piled on top of the meat so you could mix in as much or as little as you wanted.

When I saw it on the menu I was instantly reminded of my favorite lunch at Angelina's Tea Room in Paris - the curried chicken salad. They're not the same food, but both are good.

I love the south. Other places note what sort of fine wines they have. Here they noted on the menu that they use only Hellman's Mayonnaise. So do I. Great minds think alike. I'm brand loyal to very few things, but that's one of them.

Anyway, it was a very pleasant diversion. I enjoyed the salad and finished off with a cup of chamomile tea. If I lived in Mayfield this would be a regular stop, as it was for many of the others in there. The staff knew them by name.





I give the Happy House a high rating. The food was good, the staff excellent, the service great and the surroundings charming.

I went on to Murray and did my business there. I had planned to hit the library on campus, assuming they'd have a wireless connection I could tap into. However, it's Christmas break. So, I decided to head on down/up the road to Paducah and go to the library there, where I know there's a good connection.

Unfortunately, their wireless connnection was not working. I did, however, get on another one. The signal wasn't great but I did get a few things done. I needed to upload another podcast and had not realized that I still needed to download some files for converting to mp3 format. I was able to get that done there.

Also met a gentleman there and had a pleasant chat about various computer things. I was downloading and uploading while we were talking - always in a race before the battery dies.

I was reminded of how much I do not know about computer and technology. I wish I knew more. I'm really just a geek wanna be.

Quiet Day

I have not set foot outside of the house today. I slept in, which has been a rarity for me the last few weeks. I got up, showered, and started working on Mary Ann's computer. She was infected with the lop spyware. Good grief. I didn't think I was ever going to get it off of there. I deleted and rebooted and edited the registry and rebooted and searched and rebooted in an endless cycle until the late afternoon. But, finally, success when I logged on and didn't get that infuriating little toolbar.

I spent the last couple of days in bits of time now and then getting rid of the my search bar. Yeah, you may not call it spyware/adware/malware. Sorry, if I didn't get a choice about it being put on my machine, it's not something that should be there.

Anyway, tonight her computer is loading faster and running better and I'm thriled I was able to help.

I've been working on my Art of Gracious Living podcasts tonight, as well as some other projects. I'm hoping to get answers to questions I have about this set up in the near future. I'm not in the business of generating content for people for free.

Terry reports that all is well at my house and I'm happy to hear that. Had a nice note from Jim today. It's good to be in touch with him regularly. All in all a nice day of hunting down computer bad guys and working on computer things.

Tomorrow I'm going to put flowers on my Aunt LaVerne's grave, as well as some others. It's nice and warm here, which is great. Last year we were snowed in with over two feet of snow. So, this is a pleasant change of pace. I'm trying to just ignore what it says about global warming and enjoy the fact that I'm walking around in T-shirts during the winter.

Sport Shopping

I went to shop today. I'm calling it "Sport Shopping" because I wasn't really longing for anything, but I go every year on the 26th and didn't want to miss out. Generally, I'm not much of a shopper, so for me to shop for as amusement is quite unusual.

I was in town before 6 a.m., and considering it's a 35 minute drive, you will know that I got up early.

My big finds of the day where some Martha Stewart tea ornaments at K-mart and the Hallmark Barbie ornaments. Between Greg and me we got all of them.

I got home about noon and went immediately for a long nap. I got up and showered just in time for everyone to arrive for dinner tonight. Mary Ann cooked yet another wonderful meal and we all had a good time.

Dylan's girlfriend came, and I hadn't met her before, so that was nice. Also, Dylan's best friend, Ben, who is a very smart cookie, came down. We were all playing a trivia game after dinner and he's not one to be messed with when it comes to history and politics. Very smart. I'm sure his parents are very proud of him. At one point, I answered something at the same time he did and felt better about myself because I tied him on a question.

It was also fun to see Kim's parents - Clydie and Ann. I always enjoy them so much.

One of the things I did today while in Paducah was go to the library and enjoy the wi-fi hot spot so I could upload some pix from yesterday's Christmas celebration.

I call this the "Meeting of the Minds" - That's my nephew, Bobby, who's just two years older than me, on the left; his father in law John Henry in the middle; and my brother, Jackie, on the right.



Santa was able to get the ipod to BC in time - nano, of course... but just barely - it arrived at noon on Friday. I had BC pose with it Christmas morning.

I'm not sure if he has had time to download many songs onto it yet or not. I can't imagine when he would have as he went hunting this morning and this afternoon. It's duck hunting season, and missing a morning of hunting is a near crisis. I heard shots even on Christmas morning, but none of our family was out then.

One of the things I love about the hunting is that it gives me some good gift options for them. There are about as much widgets for hunting as there are for cooking. And while I don't hunt, I certainly understand the affection for widgets of various sorts.

We had a full day - the morning at Bobby and Cathy's, then church at 10, then lunch at Mary Ann's, then opening presents with everyone, and then playing games in the afternoon.



One of the things I love about my family is there's always lots of laughter. Everyone is funny. I'm not sure how we got so lucky, but everyone is funny.


My nephew, Jackie, on the couch here, is a great story teller. I always love it when he starts a story because I know we're going to all be laughing at its conclusion. He can also enjoy someone else's story.

His brother, Bobby, is no slouch in the story telling department either. But, he's a king of one liners.



We were all getting tired by the end of the day yesterday. At one point, Jackie was reclining to read the questions from the game. It was a good Christmas Day.

Merry Christmas

It has been a full and wonderful Christmas Day. The Ipod nano that was a must have arrived at Friday noon, the presents all got wrapped, the food all got cooked, the games all got played, the family is all worn out. So, that's a successful day I think.

I woke up a little after 4 and although I didn't get up until about 7:30, I never fully got back to sleep. BC called and we went up to see what he got, which included the Ipod his mom thought Santa wasn't going to get on the sleigh in time to get under the tree.

We then went to Christmas morning services and came home to a wonderful meal, compliments of my Sister in law, Mary Ann. We talked and laughed and joked until time to open presents and then continued throughout the opening. Kim and I gave each other the same gift. Apparently we both think the other needs to bake more bundt cakes in the shape of roses. Who would have ever guessed that? We've had more than a few laughs about that.

We then played games - Buzz word and Eat It. We're pretty lax about the rules and the teams, but much laughter ensued.

Now, it's 9 p.m. and I'm ready to hit the sack so I can go out and shop tomorrow with the other fools. Sometimes I wonder at myself. I know my Mama raised me to have good sense, it just seems to escape me every once in awhile.

Christmas Eve

Santa comes tonight. So much excitement in the world it's nearly palpable. I still get excited by the holidays. I'm at my brother's house and there are presents piled under their tree, and now I've added mine and tomorrow more will be layered in. I'm reminded of just how incredibly blessed we all are. Not only to have presents, but to have each other.

This past week, Peggy wrote me a nice note in which she said something that really struck me - that she always feels good for people who have family to "go home to." I'm lucky to be one of those people. Although I have no parents, husband or children, I still have family to go home to who are happy to see me as I'm happy to see them.

I'm also lucky to have my friends, who are my family away from family. The kindnesses that people extend - even the smallest of things - are beautiful grace notes in daily life. It's comforting to know Terry is at my house while I'm away, that Diana will be popping in, that Greg will be out on Dec. 26 just as I will and we'll both be excited about the next Christmas.

I love that "forward looking" part of the holiday season, where I start getting ready for the next year. The continuity of it pleases me. I love the idea that Christmas is always coming, always around the corner.

This week I've heard from old friends, former lovers and new friends who've called or written to wish me Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas. It has been a wonderful few days. I love hearing from people who've been in my world at various stages of life.

If I haven't gotten back in touch with you yet, it's not because I don't want to - it's because there's not much cell phone signal here at the end of Terrell Road, and dial up is a slow computer connection. I will be in touch. Your presence in my life is appreciated.

This is also an opportune time to thank those of you who read the blog regularly for your good wishes, written or only thought. I'm unable to respond to comments at the moment but know that I appreciate your thoughts. And, to each of you, I appreciate the fact that you read along about my little life.

May we all have some moments of childlike wonder on Christmas.

Happy Birthday to Me

Today is my 44th Birthday. How did this happen? I'm perpetually 28 in my mind - at times when I'm feeling especially mature I'm 34. I can't seem to make myself any older than that in my mind. It's not even a physical thing - although goodness knows I do not like to see the beginnings of crow's feet beside my eyes. It's more an attitude thing.

Of course, truth be told, I'm somewhat like a 4 year old in many ways. That's what I think every time I pack up a little bag of "toys" to take with me somewhere. OK, so my toys are paper and pens and books and watercolors and - OK, as I think about it - they're much the same things you might take for a small child.

I guess age isn't really that much of an issue as long as you feel good. I'm blessed to be healthy, have a job I really enjoy, a nice warm house to be in, grateful for wonderful family and friends, and on the right side of the dirt. What more could one ask?

Security Threats

My average phone calls go something like this:

Call Number one:
G: Hello
P: Hey, wanna go get some lunch?
G: Sure.
P: I was thinking about Roys.
G: Roy's is always good.
P: I'll call you when I'm backing out.
G: OK, bye
P: bye

Greg lives three blocks away. If I call him when I'm backing out he's out the door just as I pull into his drive way. Remember that use of the cell phone network the next time you get an "all circuits busy" signal.

Call Number two a few minutes later:
G: Hello
P: I'm on my way
G: OK
P: Bye
G: Bye

I feel safer knowing the government wants to listen in on that. I nearly fell asleep writing it down. I can't imagine how the poor sap who has to listen in on it feels. And you thought your boss was wasting your talent. Of course, they don't have to actually listen, wire tapping - which really isn't wire tapping in the technical sense - is far easier these days - practically automated.

My phone calls are pretty damned bland most of the time. Pretty utilitarian. Pretty ordinary. There's no plotting, no planning, no phone sex, nothing of note. But I still just don't like the idea of the government listening in just because they can. Why? Gosh, I think it's because I was raised in the US - and made to study civics, where we learned about things like "freedom." Remember civics? Yeah, I know, you gotta be a "certain age," back when things like that were deemed important and actually taught. Now of course, the government has seen the light of what happens when the populace understands their rights. They start to expect them, dammit. So, Step One: Stop telling them they have any rights.

Do you think we're now the country the rest of the world is looking at thinking, "Geez, why is there not rioting in the streets? Why do they not rise up as a people and take back their country?"

Twas the Blog Before Christmas

Someone sent me a link to this at FeedBlitz and I thought it was just too good to not share.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005
'Twas the blog before Christmas

'Twas the blog before Christmas, when all through the house
No blogger was stirring, no hand moved the mouse.
The postings were stacked by the tag cloud with care,
In hopes that more readers soon would be there;

The users were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of updates danced in their heads;
And me with my podcast, downloaded like that,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,

When out from my laptop there arose such a clatter,
I sprang to my desk to see what was the matter.
Away to the portal I flew like a flash,
Tore open the reader and refreshed the cache.

The enclosure attached soon gave me to know
That new entries were here, more news I should know.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a raft of new updates, eight headlines so clear,

With a quick Wiki update, who could it be?
Our investor, of course, a leading VC.
More rapid than eagles his portfolio came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Blogspot! Now Feedster! now, Movable Type!
On, FeedBurner, FeedBlitz! (On Marketing Hype!)
To the top of the feed! To the top of them all!
Now blog away! blog away! blog away all!"

As valuations that before the wild bubble do fly,
When they meet with a fund, mount up to the sky,
So up to the top of the investments they flew,
With RSS data, and named it Web 2.

And then, with a twinkling, I read in my news
Each notable posting, contrary views.
As I drew back my hand, and was turning around,
Down to my trackback he came with a bound.

His comments were brief, what was ado?
Were adwords OK? Did users click through?
A bundle of mashups he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

Our AJAX - how it twinkled! Our tagging - how merry!
We socially networked to his brand new BlackBerry!
Our RSS valid, we were well syndicated,
We subscribed to the feeds that we loved (and we hated);

The stump of our web site held tight in our teeth,
The hyperbole encircled his head like a wreath;
We tagged Technorati, we blogged with the best,
On Feedster we surged and made the A-list.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And marked us on Frappr, and Flickr he searched.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
Updated his blog, up our OPML rose;

He sprang to his feed, gave his investments a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!"

**

With best wishes from FeedBlitz to everyone this holiday season!

(c) www.feedblitz.com 2005
Full reproduction permitted only with full attribution and links intact.
Technorati: FeedBlitz RSS Bloglet

Two Surprises in Two Days

It has been a busy couple of days and I've had two surprises in two days - and both of them were firsts.


Last night was our Red Hat group and we had decided to do it at my house as a potluck. What I didn't know was that they were having a surprise birthday party for me last night, which was so sweet.

Teresa, Diana, Julie, Debbie and Susan N. all brought me gifts - Diana made cupcakes - Debbie took pix - they sang. It was really nice. And, it was a first for me. I've never had a birthday party as an adult. Actually, I've never had a birthday party at all that involved friends. When your birthday is two days before Christmas, it's a little tough to pull that off - for the obvious reasons.

Even without all of that, it was a nice evening all the way around, with special gifts shared and some wonderful memories made. I had gotten ornaments for everyone.


I was touched by the generous spirit of these friends. Debbie posted a photo of me blowing out candles on the cupcake on her blog at www.bluebix.blogspot.com.

Tonight I had my board over for dinner at my house - nothing fancy - just soup. We've done this every year that I've been the Executive Director and it is always fun. They surprised me with a very nice gift, and it was completely unexpected, but very generous of them.

This year we invited spouses too, and that was even neater. It was good to see everyone socialize. I didn't have time to take photos as I was busy replenishing the table and such, but it was a fun night.

I'm blessed to have a wonderful board of directors - exceptional people who are committed to our mission. I'm grateful for each of them.

I served chili and veggie soup. I had planned to also make potato soup but had a little something extra put into my day and ran out of time to get that done. I reached down to put something in the garbage disposal this afternoon and got shocked. Yes - shocked! When I hit the switchplate I got shocked again. So, I called Zenor electric and - thank heavens - Dennis was just leaving another job so could come right over. He eventually found the problem and took care of it, but it took awhile. I was just glad he could come right away and glad that I'm on longer afraid of my kitchen.

I've almost got everything cleaned up already from tonight - maybe one more load through the dishwasher. This was my last party of the season, but instead of feeling relieved, I'm a little sad that it's over for this year. I've had six gatherings in 11 days and I could do another six, but Christmas will be here quickly.

I love to entertain. It makes a house warm and inviting to have the energy of lots of people passing through the doors.

This Day in the Life

Some time ago, I got an email, asking for contributions to a book in the making. The concept was to ask women to share their journal entries from a particular day - June 29, 2004. Those would then be compiled into a book, offering a snapshot of women's lives.

Well, the book has finally arrived. I'm sure it's going to be fabulous. There's a voyeur in all of us and getting to read other people's diaries is certainly one manifestation of that.

Publisher's Weekly had this to say: "There is not one piece in this compilation that is not captivating. Following up on the editors' first collection of journal entries published in 2003, they selected 34 diaries out of 493 submissions written by a cross-section of American women on June 29, 2004. The collection's success rests on both the astonishing variety of participants and the sincerity with which they describe an ordinary day�These women communicate bravery, compassion, humor and perseverance in this compulsively readable volume."

Open House

My Christmas open house has gotten net play on other people's blogs. I'm flattered, to say the least.

Check these out...

http://blueblix.blogspot.com/

http://thelope.blogspot.com/

A Lovely Sunday

I stayed in bed until late morning, which is very unusual for me. I woke up but stayed in bed reading for awhile.

I didn't have anything time specific on my agenda today and that was a lovely feeling. Of course there were things I wanted to do and needed to do, but nothing time specific.

I spent a large part of the day puttering around the house, organizing things for Christmas, making sure I have all the gifts bought and wrapped and organized. I have not put the ornaments on the packages yet so I'm still doing that. I also got the ribbons on all of them. I've had a hard time deciding what color of ribbon to go with this year.

Greg and I went to Skaets for a burger tonight and Terry joined us to keep us company. Tonight was the first time I've been out on the roads since the snow.

I'm having the hatters over tomorrow night but I have the cooking already done for that.So, I'll just have to tidy up the house a bit when I first get up in the morning and I'll be ready.

I have a ton of work things to do tomorrow so it's going to be a busy day. Tuesday I'm cooking for my board so I have to cram a lot into tomorrow.

Cards Out - Shocks In

I'm guessing we're all busy with holiday preparations. I know I'm behind on a few things and Christmas is one week away. I did get the last of my cards out the door today. I have to get the ones out that are local, with party invites, early - and if I don't get them all done at the same time I can get lax about the others. And I sometimes do.

The past week has been busy for me. I've had something every night and just didn't get the rest of them out but fortunately, they're on their way now.

It is snowy here, with travel advisories. The TV is running constant crawls about cancelled activities. I had invited my Altrusa group over tonight but only a few showed up - for the obvious reasons. Just can't be helped. No way to know what the weather will be, but those older ladies are not going to go out and drive in this.

I cooked today and puttered around the house. I don't have a party tomorrow, and I'm glad. I think I need a day of not having a schedule. I have some writing I need to do but hopefully that will go smoothly.

The weirdest thing today was when I reached for the dryer handle and got shocked. I don't know what the deal is there, but obviously have to figure that out. I just wanted some freaking dry socks. Obviously, there's a problem. I'm not sure who to call about it since I don't know what the problem is. Seems there's always something.

Dinner With Friends

I invited Sondra and Greg over for dinner tonight. Sondra cooks for me and I wanted to return the favor, and I wanted to have her over to share the Christmas season.

Not too long before dinner Terry called to see if Greg wanted to go to Anchor. When Greg told me I suggested he invite Terry over, too. Terry and Sondra hadn't met before, but it was nice.

I made a spinach salad with toasted pine nuts and grilled portobello mushrooms. I served it with a Bertolli Balsamico dressing and it was really good.

I also made my favorite chicken breasts, cooked in soy sauce, garlic, vinegar and honey, along with green bean almondine, corn and mashed potatoes and gravy. I also served Brookville cole slaw, compliments of my friend, Molly. We had our CHICKS gathering last night and she brought it to share. I was planning to make coleslaw and that made me think about making Brookville's version. She very generously offered me what she had and that was all I needed.

After dinner we went into the living room and had tea and coffee. I made Oatmeal cake, because it's one of Sondra's favorites. I sent some home with her and with Terry.

The last few days have been full of gatherings.

On Wednesday night I had the Creative Sisterhood group over. Teresa couldn't come but everyone else was here. It was an exceptional night. Very, very cool.

I shared about my podcasting ventures. I've been picked up by Podcasters News Network, so hopefully that will work out well.

Last night was our Christmas gathering for CHICKS. That's always a fun night. There were only eight of us there last night but it was good.


It was a spur of the moment decision to cook dinner for tonight but I'm glad I did. I rarely cook "real" food - I just like to bake - but it's good to do it every once in awhile.

Tomorrow I will get up early and begin baking. My Altrusa group is coming over tomorrow evening so I will bake all day tomorrow.

Well, it's time for me to hit the sack. I've been getting up very early and going to bed very late. It seems that tonight I'm actually tired a little sooner than normal so maybe it has caught up with me a bit.

The Eyes Have It

Greg took some head shots of me tonight for a project I'm working on. I couldn't resist playing with them.

We thought maybe I should make the catch light into a Christmas bulb or a bell shape.

Accordians

Tonight was Altrusa and there was entertainment - six women playing Christmas carols on accordians. It may sound weird - OK, it was a bit weird - but it was fun. We also did an ornament exchange. I got a cute little snowman I really like.

Also, one of the ladies who was here Saturday night brought me an ornament she bought in Russia. I'm so thrilled with it. I tickled to have it on the tree. I so love ornaments and this is a really special one.

I spent the day working on MHA projects. I woke up really early this morning and started working on something I've put off for months. It took me a long time to get it done but it is out the door and I am tickled by that.

Tomorrow night is Creative Sisterhood. I'm not sure what I'm going to make for it yet but will probably get up early in the morning and do that before the work day starts. I've got a busy day tomorrow.

Plumbers and Friends

My day started with an early morning call from the plumber saying he could come at 10 this morning if I could be here. Fortunately, I didn't have anything time specific until 11:30 so that worked out well. The leak was a simple problem so that was a bonus.

I had lunch with Leah. It was good to see her. I don't get to see her nearly often enough.

I spent the whole work day doing paper kinds of things - it's the season for that. I can spend Dec., Jan. and Feb. on the computer it seems.

This afternoon it got up over 50 degrees so the guy came and did some touch up work on the outside of the house. It's supposed to be nice tomorrow too, so I'm hoping he can get more done. We'll see.

Tonight Trish invited Teresa and me over for dinner. It was a wonderful supper. Then we talked until after 10:30. There's something special about being in someone's home. I'm always honored by such an invitation.

Party Photos

I promised I would get more photos up and there will be yet more coming, but I wanted to get up at least a few more today.

I've had multiple requests for ornament close ups. I will take some more, but here is one that Greg took last night of a little baby Jesus that I always nestle into the tree.

It's not really an ornament, but I bought it in Rome years ago, with the idea of using it as one and it has been on every tree I've done since then.

Father Christmas even popped by. Gary is the husband of my board president and it has been a delight to get to know both of them. Peggy is just wonderful and they are both always willing to help with anything.

Gary is such a charmer - everyone who meets him falls in love with him. I'm always trying to send him baked goodies and Peggy is always telling me to stop feeding him. They're both wonderful people.

Somehow we managed to not get a good photo of Peggy last night. Of course, when Father Christmas arrived later in the evening, he was the hit of the party and we all wanted our photos taken with him. It must be hard being a celebrity.

Mia was a big help yesterday, as were Greg and Mark. Greg even vacuumed. And, if his mother happens to be reading this - yes - there is photographic evidence of it. Mark worked so hard. He was quite the trooper.

It's always more work than you expect to throw a party, but it's so worth it.

We got tickled last night and just could not stop laughing. Left to right is Andrea, Diana, me and Teresa.

I will share more photos in the coming days, but I'm ready to call it a night. I went to bed about 4 a.m. and got up about 9, so I'm ready to go to sleep.


We went to see a Christmas play this afternoon and that was a festive addition to the day. Otherwise, I've just enjoyed the day. Last night was so much fun that today has just been a lovely continuation of the event.

Tomorrow night Trish is having Teresa and me over to dinner and I'm really looking forward to that. It's so rare to be invited to someone's home for dinner, and always a treat.