The Secret

Diana hosted an event tonight at The Dancing Grouse for people to come watch the movie, The Secret. There were six of us there.

It's all about the Power of Attraction and how what we think becomes reality. I certainly believe this to be true, and have witnessed it in my own life many times.

It's nothing we haven't heard before, but they do a good job of telling the story, and the production is very good.

I will want to watch it again. Of course, the question is why we don't all do what is suggested. *That* is the eternal question, it seems.

Breaking News!

My friend, Trish Rose, told us tonight she is running for city council. I'm so excited for her, and for the community. I know she will be fabulous. I'm tickled. I asked if I could share it here and she graciously agreed. So, get ready to vote in April!

Polar Express and More

Greg and I went to see The Polar Express at the Cosmosphere last night. They have an IMAX screen and it was really cool to see it there. Frankly, I liked it better than I did in the theatre originally.

I'm enjoying the holiday season immensely. Last night Teresa brought her mom over to see the tree. I love to share, so I was glad she could come. She was talking about divinity and how much she loves it. I haven't made any yet this year but if I do I'll make sure to save some for her.

I'm pretty much glued to the computer today. I have a ton of year end things to get out the door for the MHA and some prep things to do for things happening in January and February too.

I have a lot of financial things to do and that is my least favorite. But, it has to be done so I'm going to just get it done and be done with it. I don't trust myself with detail things so I have to check and double check and then have the accountant triple check. It's just time consuming and brain draining for me.

Tonight is our Chicks gathering. I'm not sure what to take, yet, but I guess I need to figure that out pretty shortly. It will be good to see everyone. I have my ornament for our exchange ready to go so at least that's done.

The Reason for the Season

If one more person says "Remember the Reason for the Season" to me, I may explode with a long list of expletives that are not part of my normal speech pattern. Why? Well, because it's generally only used by people who want to point out to you that you - obviously - have no concept of what Christmas is, historically, really about.

I know all about what it is historically about - pagan beginnings to what is now a Christian celebration. I got it.

Just because I happen to like having a pretty tree, sending cards and wrapping presents in coordinating paper does not mean I have no concept of the religious meaning of the holiday. Nor, frankly, is that any of your business.

Even if I cut you the slack that it's kind of you to be concerned about my immortal soul, one "Remember the Reason for the Season" is sufficient. This week, one person has felt it necessary to say it to me in email twice, despite my ignoring it the first time. I chose not to respond to her latest email lest my fingers type expletives against my will.

I'm not sure reducing a religion to a catchy slogan is something I want to participate in, anyway. And, I hate to be the bearer of what must be unpleasant news for her, but Christmas is also about more than religion as well. It is an economic engine in our society, it is a time for family, it is a time for friends, it's a time for carols, cookies and charity.

Of course, for those of us who are Christians, Christmas is also about Christ. I just like to keep my religion private. When did that become such a crime? When did it become accepted that a person who isn't wearing their religion on their sleeve has none?

Some of us can practice our faith without trying to shame others into doing it our way. We also don't feel the need to reduce our belief system to one pithy phrase that can be repeated ad nauseum.

Organizing

I've been trying to organize my desk tonight. How does it become PILED with stuff in only a couple of days? Maybe I need yet more shelving. I need something. I also think part of it is the speed with which things come into my life - it's too fast for me to keep up.

We had a screening this afternoon and weren't very busy so I had an opportunity to chat with the social worker, who was someone I hadn't met before. He was really a pleasant guy and it was nice to get to know him a bit.

I have a lot of MHA things to do yet this week and I'm hoping to get to relax a bit on Sunday. Greg's girlfriend, Mia, may come out this weekend. I haven't seen her in a long time so it would be fun to see her.

I have an event Friday night and a party Saturday night but on Sunday I'm going to relax. I may go see the Tuna Christmas production by the local theatre guild. We'll see if I have any energy left by then. I do have to rest a bit because I'm cooking dinner for my board on Tuesday - I always enjoy having them over.

Patsy's Christmas Tree Video

Prairie Nutcracker

Greg, Mark and I went to see the Prairie Nutcracker at the Fox Theatre today. It was really good. The idea of the show was hatched right here in Hutchinson, Kansas.

It was a great way to spend part of the afternoon. We ended up sitting just a few seats from Mike and it was good to see him again.

There were lots of people there I knew - obviously it was the place to be this afternoon.

Otherwise, I have relaxed most of the day, as I generally do the day after the open house. I did do the dishes, aside from one cake plate which is still soaking.

I love it when the house is all clean - apparently not enough to keep it this way all the time, but I enjoy when it's like this for the briefest of time during the holiday season.

Christmas Open House

Last night was my annual Christmas Open House. About 40 people came and it was a nice gathering. I love mixing people from different areas of my life.

My friend, Susan, came early yesterday afternoon and helped get ready. She was a God-send! It made my day go much smoother and I could be much more relaxed. She also brought me the most beautiful Christmas gift - a beautiful Czechoslavakian glass tea set. It is stunning. I will try to post some pix later. She even brought blackberry sage tea to go with it. That's what I'm having tonight to cap off the weekend.

Sondra came, and as always was delightful company. We have known each other a long time. I was noting last night that there were people here I've known the whole time I've lived in Hutchinson and also people I just met this past year.

I got to know Kris at Kansas Dialogue in August and really enjoyed her and her husband John. They are tons of fun. I was so thrilled they came last night.

There were some people missing that are always here, including Teresa who had to be out of town last night. But there were also a number of people who came for the first time last night. It was a nice mix.







I had a big crowd for awhile and then there were just a few of us left, but it all worked out perfectly.




I made a few different kinds of sweets and also had some things for those who can't eat sweets. I even made a sponge cake from scratch, with Julie in mind. She didn't come, but others enjoyed it. I sent the rest home with Jesse - his dad is diabetic so I thought maybe he would enjoy it.




Of course, Mark was a huge help as he always is. And Greg was taking photos and helping out in a variety of ways. He even took out my trash and recycling the night before. Mark did tons of things for me - from grocery shopping to carrying things to the basement and on and on and on.

I'm blessed to have great friends.

Peanut Brittle

Yesterday I made Peanut Brittle for the first time. Mama didn't like peanuts so we never made peanut brittle and I have just never gotten around to making it before.

Julie makes it every year with her family and some friends, and she brought some to Creative Sisterhood the other night. I've had it before and it's just delicious. Of course, how could something who's main ingredients are sugar and liquified sugar (syrup) not be yummy?

Once I had the mixture cooking I realized that neither of the two candy thermometers I had were working properly. So, some guess work entered into the process.

My mother always made candy without a thermometer, but I ain't my Mama. I need tools to help me. Even with them sometimes I get it just right and sometimes I get it close to right.

I think I cooked my peanut brittle a little longer than Julie did because mine is a more carmelized color. But, it's tasty. And, I have to confess, I love the crunch when you twist the cookie sheet and it cracks on its own. Fun!

OK, so maybe I'm easily amused. OK, so I know I'm easily amused. But, hey, I'm happy most of the time, too... so there you go.

I'm sure this will not be my last batch of peanut brittle. I'm also thinking cashews or almonds would be good instead of peanuts. Again, what can't be improved by being encased in cooked sugar?

As I write this, I have a sponge cake in the oven. Oddly enough, I've never made a sponge cake either. Considering how much I cook it's amazing I haven't, but I haven't. There has to be a first time for everything.

I used the recipe from the nut factory:

http://www.thenutfactory.com/kitchen/dessert/peanut-brittle.html

Traditional Peanut Brittle

2 cups sugar
1 cup light corn syrup
1 cup water
2 cups raw Spanish peanuts
1/2 tsp. salt
2 Tbsp. butter
2 tsp. baking soda

Heat and stir sugar, syrup and water in a heavy 3-quart saucepan until the sugar dissolves. Add salt. Cook over medium heat to soft ball stage (234 degrees). Add peanuts at 250 degrees. Cook to hard crack stage (290 degrees), stirring often. Remove from heat.

Quickly, stir in butter and soda. Beat to a froth for a few seconds. Pour at once onto 2 well-buttered 15-1/2x10-1/2x1-inch pans, spreading with spatula. If desired, cool slightly and pull with forks to stretch thin. Break up when cold.

Yield: About 1-1/2 pounds of peanut brittle.

Beautiful Morning

Well, it is warming up a bit here - it's up to 18 at the moment. I woke up about 4:15 but didn't get up until around 7. I napped and did some writing and reading. But about 7 I remembered that my trash was by the back door instead of out in the alley and it's trash day.

Why? Well, to keep people from rooting through it. There aren't any cans in it - I recycle those - but there is something incredibly fascinating about my trash to someone. I understand why celebrities hate it when people go through their trash. I hate it and it's not like someone is going to print the contents of it in one of those trashy tabloids at the check out line.

I've got a red velvet cake in the oven. I was debating heading out to the Dutch Kitchen for breakfast but decided I should cook instead. I'm on track with everything but I will need to be busy today to stay on track. I have a few cleaning things to do yet, and a tiny bit of finishing on decorating but overall things are in decent shape.

Of course, my office door will be closed. It's always a disaster. It's a wonder my fingers have not been crushed by the stuff piled on either side of the keyboard crashing down on them at some inopportune moment.

Besides, the office is my more private room downstairs - it's where I spend a lot of time and where I do a lot of my thinking, planning, organizing. I'm starting to feel more private about such areas - not sure why, but I am.

Glass Coffee Tables

Well, I'm up and doing things at 4:30 a.m. I went to bed last night before midnight so of course I woke up early. I have a speech at 6:45 this morning but I'm going to get some things done around the house before then.

I have only a couple of days to finish cleaning before my party, and I haven't done any of the cooking yet. But, that's all relatively easy to do.

I am generally pretty casual about cleaning - even when I'm having people over. But for Christmas I make an effort to have the house really nice. It's exhausting. I know now why I don't do it all the time. How do people manage to keep everything pristine all the time?

If I were a person who didn't have much "stuff," I suppose it would be easier since a large amount of the time is spent de-cluttering instead of actual cleaning. But, I'm a person who has stuff and I have been all my life. As I approach my 45th birthday I just don't foresee that changing.

Yes... 45 on Dec. 23... hard to believe. Yesterday I got a "nice" lecture from an acquaintance about my penchant for younger men. It's not that I only like younger men - it's more that only younger men seem to like me. I'm not sure what that says about me, but probably something negative about my maturity level. But, lets just be positive so early in the day and say it's my vivacious nature and excitement about life that they find appealing, instead.

I just do not meet men my own age. I don't know where they are - it seems there would be lots of us - we're the tail end of the boomers - but they must all be home watching television. And it's not like I'm hunting for them, anyway. Generally, people my own age, with a few exceptions, are wrapped up in such mundane things I can't even have a meaningful conversation with them. There's too much soccer practice and too little substance.

When people talk about the idea of "shared experiences" with people my own age because we grew up at the same time, they aren't taking into account that we were in college in the eighties - post pill, pre AIDS. Cocaine was readily available and we were trying to dull the shame of the disco era. Whatever shared experiences we had we're probably not proud of - if we can even recall them. Sometimes they're just a jumble of images of naked bodies and white lines on glass coffee tables.

This is an opportune time for me to mention I have never owned a glass coffee table.

Quote of the Day

�The men the American public admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth.�
� H. L. Mencken

I ran across this quote today and realized just how incredibly true it is. I have witnessed it in my own life and certainly in our country's life.

Creative Sisterhood

Tonight was Creative Sisterhood and it was a really good gathering, although we missed Virginia. She is sick and Martha is not feeling great either, although she did come.

We had our Christmas celebration tonight and exchanged presents. I love that, of course. Diana gave us all an antique ornament and mine was one I had admired in her store the other day. Teresa gave us each the cutest little stockings - so adorable. I had little ornaments that were frames and I put a "Creative Sisterhood 2006" bit inside each one. Julie brought homemade peanut brittle and Martha brought nuts from the Nifty Nut House.

I had made an orange cake tonight with orange glaze. I could not stop eating the peanut brittle and I also had a piece of cake so that's a lot of sugar for me. I don't often tempt fate that way with regard to the Atrial Fib. For reasons no medical person can figure out, and that makes no sense to me, when I eat a lot of sugar it brings on an A fib attack. So, I avoid eating much sugar. I've had more today than usual but I did not eat any all day long, anticipating I would have dessert tonight. Hopefully it won't be a problem, but I'll be more cautious tomorrow and not push it.

It was a good evening. And it is nice to have the Creative Sisterhood here.

And it prompted me to work on the house more. Tomorrow night I need to pretty much finish the house. I'm taking Thursday and Friday off to cook for the party, after a speech Thursday morning early.

Tomorrow I have a lot of MHA things I need to get out the door, prep work for the screening next week, and some other things. So, it will be a busy day.

Christmas Shame

OK, for many years Greg and I have had this ongoing conversation - every Christmas - about how I overload the tree so much that it leans. It leans because I put more ornaments on the sides people can see.

Well, over the years Greg and I have come up with some ingenious ways to stabilize the tree. OK, truth be told, Greg has come up with them and I've pretty much just copied them.

At the moment the stand is bolted onto a 4 by 4 wooden base. I did that myself, just for the record, although it was copied after one Greg did years ago.

This year the tree has been leaning much worse because it has bent the stand - specifically the hole where the tree pole goes into it.

So, I knew what it needed was to be wired into the wall. How did I know this? Well, it's yet another technique Greg used at various times to hold the Christmas trees up.

When we lived together every Christmas was an extravaganza of engineering. Since we split up (almost a decade now, I think - wow) I made this big deal about he couldn't bitch about my trees anymore because he wasn't doing anything with them. However, guess who I called everytime I had a Christmas tree crisis. Yes, you guessed it - Greg. I swear, he is the best ex-bf a girl could have.

When I was with Nathan, he joked one time that Greg was entitled to complain about my Christmas trees forever, just because of what he had gone through in the past to stabilize them.

OK, fast forward to last night, when I'm on the phone with Greg saying, "When are you coming home?" He got stranded in Joplin due to the weather. Well, tonight he returned and stopped by to work on the tree.




The plan of attack was to drill a hole in the baseboard and screw in an eyelet. Then to take heavy guage picture wire and snake it around the pole, without disturbing the thousands of lights that are all over the place - including wrapped around the pole. Then position the tree and wire it into place.

Of course, this meant that Greg had to get behind the tree. Did I mention it's in a corner?

One of the things I've been teased about for a long time is that it's hot around the tree because of all the lights.




Needless to say, I was getting Greg cold water and anything else he wanted.




Fortunately he escaped with only some icicles attached to him. And only one ornament got broken in the process and that was my fault and not specifically related to the tree being moved around.




THANK YOU, Greg, for securing the tree into it's place. I told him he gained at least another three years of teasing me about the tree.

Christmas Tree

This is what I've been doing the last few days. I think this tree is one of my finer creations.

I have enjoyed going through ornaments and remembering special times and people.

I bought this blue and white tree ornament when Matthew and I were in Amsterdam.

I will try to post some more ornament pix, but I really need Greg's magic touch. I took a dozen or so and this was the only one that was in focus. And they look so much better with natural light instead of flash.

Houston Whiteside Tour

Today was the Houston Whiteside Tour. There were four houses and one was Sharon's house. I had hoped to see her and say hello but she wasn't there.

I love old houses and going on the tour reminded me of how much I need to do in my own house. I guess that's how it always is.

Next year the MHA will have a homes tour the first Sunday of December. We alternate with them so next year will be our turn. I have three houses but am still hunting for more.

Cookie Messengers

So I'm decorating a Christmas tree tonight when the doorbell rings. I assume it's Terry dropping by since he's about the only one who really believes me when I say it's OK to drop by. It's always so pleasant to see him so I was smiling when I opened the door. And good thing...

Because there were about a dozen people on my front porch - ranging from 20 somethings to kids. They hand me a plate of homemade cookies and wish me Merry Christmas. I was so flabbergasted with this pleasant surprise I didn't even question who they were or why they were cookie messengers.

There was a handwritten, photocopied note attached to the cookies saying, "Merry Christmas. We are going to change this world. Christmas is a time to celebrate the day God decided to verse the downfall of all creation. Jesus came to this world to make and show the way to be truly human nad restore creation to all its glory. May all the Earth be filled with the Glory of God because... Jesus reigns forever. P.S. Love Wins.

There's no note about a particular church or group, although it is Sunday night of course.

I love the part of the message that "We are going to change this world." There is such optimism in that. No wonder I like younger people - they're optimistic that the world can change. Most of the people my age have long ago given up on making any real change in their lives or in anyone else's.

All in all it was a pleasant surprise. And a new experience. And you know how much I love those - I try to think something new, or do something new, or learn something new every day. Keeps life fresh. Who wouldn't want life to be fresh?

Checking In

Susan called last night, saying that when I hadn't written since Nov. 30 she was concerned about me. So, I thought I'd best do a quick check in.

I did write a post since then but it must have gotten lost in a computer crash or other such foolishness. It was probably just a rant about politics or something - I don't even recall - I'm sure I'm still ticked about whatever it was, though. I'll get back to it as soon as I recall...

I've been busy decorating and tidying the house. Frankly, if I kept my house in more order all the time it wouldn't take me very long to get ready for things. But, I don't. I'm just not a tidy person when it comes to housekeeping. I am a "lived in" person so things are always "casual" at my house. But, once a year, for Christmas, I try to make it more organized. It will, unfortunately, be out the window again in no time. Thank goodness I have an upstairs where I can take things I haven't yet organized. Of course, it needs some major work up there - but that's more than just tidying. After the holidays perhaps I can get to some of that.

I have really neglected my online life the last few months. It seems real life is overflowing in so many directions I can't get it all reined in and kept that way for any amount of time.

This past week I was thinking I was on-track with a lot of projects and was going to get it all under control this weekend when I got a new project on Thursday evening. But, it's a graphic design job that results in me saving a few hundred dollars in the coming months, and making it possible for me to travel more, so I'll just have to work it in. And it's actually a fun job - I just don't have time to think about it and make it as creative as I'd like.

I had planned to get so much Christmas stuff done this weekend and I have done a lot. But I spent a large part of Saturday with "life stuff" - grocery shopping and other "hunting and gathering" necessary for life.

But, I'm just thankful I can afford to grocery shop and that I live where goods are plentiful. As I was shopping this morning, overhearing a man be downright rude to his wife - telling her what she could and couldn't buy in a quite terse tone, topping it off with how stupid she was - I reminded myself that I'm blessed to make my own way in the world and not have to deal with that sort of behavior out of anyone.

Rarely do I see couples shopping when it seems harmonious. I'm always reminded of it being a hallmark of spousal abuse when the husband won't leave his wife alone for even a few minutes. I'm sure it's not always the case, but I'm sure it is sometimes too.

I never know what is appropriate for me to say or do in such a circumstance. This is not a child, but a full grown woman, capable of making her own choices. But this morning I just used the technique suggested in cases where children are being verbally abused and said to the man, "excuse me, would you hand me one of those cartons of sour cream?" It seemed to distract him enough he got off her back for a moment. Who knows if it makes any long term difference, but it at least diffuses the situation for the moment. I didn't really need sour cream, but I'll just find a way to use it.

I'll be baking a lot in the coming week. My annual open house is next Saturday, the 9th. I still have decorating to do and some cleaning to do and on and on and on. But, I will just do what I have time and energy for and let the rest go. And on Saturday, at 5 p.m. I will retire to a bubble bath and leave whatever is not done undone. I refuse to be caught up in trying to make things "perfect." It's simply not possible. So, 90 minutes before the party begins, I will soak and relax and get ready so I can enjoy my own party.

I have about a dozen more cards to send - ones that have been returned or that I just got addresses for. I must get that done this weekend so they arrive in a timely enough manner. I always hope that everyone's card/invite arrives in time and I don't leave anyone out because I'm not thinking it through as much as I'd like. I used to have to limit my guest list because of space but now I can invite more because I have a bigger house. So, that's nice. If you're someone I like enough to send a Christmas card to, you're someone I'd invite to my house - it's so much easier! Of course, it's a busy time of year and so it ends up being a relatively small gathering. But, that's nice, too - it's cozy and comfy.

We were lucky here in Hutchinson and got only a tiny bit of snow, whereas less than an hour away from us parts of the state have been declared disaster areas. I am thankful. I just wasn't ready for a major winter storm quite yet. Maybe in January, after I get back from Kentucky, and after my conference in Texas, then I'll be ready. I'll enjoy a few days of holing up in the house and drinking hot cider and watching the snow. I just wasn't ready yet. Of course, we don't get any say about the weather - it just is.

I have more Christmas shopping yet to do this year than usual. Generally I'm all done by Thanksgiving but I just haven't found those special things this year yet. Of course, I haven't been into my stash to see what I have that I may have forgotten about. I need to keep an ongoing list in my PDA so I always have it with me and can reference it on trips and such.

Well, I must get back to one of my many tasks at hand. Needless to say, there is much to do in my world, as I guess there is in everyone's this time of year. However, today I am taking time to go to the Houston Whiteside Homes Tour. I always enjoy it and it only happens every two years so I don't want to miss it.

No doubt I'll come home feeling bad about the progress I've made in my own house in the past 4 1/2 years. A friend suggested the other day that when I get into another serious relationship, finding a man who's a contractor - a really, realy, really good contractor - would be wise. Unfortunately, as I pointed out to her, a good contractor wouldn't have time to be working on my house - he'd be busy with other people's houses. So, there you go. One of life's many conundrums.

End of November

On this last day of November I've been in constant motion. I have pushed a ton of projects out the door, but still have a bunch to do. I really want to work more on my house but it seems I can't find time to do that. This weekend I'm devoting myself to that, although I am going to attend the Houston Whiteside Homes Tour on Sunday.

I had lunch with Leah today. It was good to see her. I just don't get to see her enough. It has been many months since I've had lunch with her.

Tonight I went to dinner with Sondra and as I was leaving to go pick her up I walked out to catch the tail end of a beautiful sunset. I was sorry I hadn't gone out a tiny bit earlier, but was glad I caught the last minute or two of it.




Tonight I have finished the DSB for Altrusa District Eight and have worked a little on the house. Of course, in the midst of bringing Christmas things up from the basement I decided to stop and change the furnace filters. It was the beginning of a bit of an ADD extravaganza, which resulted in my doing a variety of tasks.

I'm trying to convince myself to go take the trash out to the alley but it's 16 degrees with a wind chill of 5 and it just doesn't sound appealing to go outside at all. Besides, my dumpster is already full. I'll just let them empty it tomorrow and refill it during the daylight hours - that sounds like a better plan.

Besides, if I wait I can bring the dumpster up to the house where it's less likely to have people rooting around in it. I don't know what people find so appealing about my trash, but they can't seem to leave it alone. Which, as I've covered before, I find incredibly creepy. Honest to goodness, it's just trash - there is nothing exciting in it.




I hadn't gotten around to sharing this photo I took the day after Thanksgiving of Greg and his mom. We went to eat at the Gateway Creamery in Joplin, which is a cool place. It was the first time Greg and I had been there.

Anyway, they had this cool game table which we all played with. I really, really sucked at it. Greg sucked at it. Miss Joy wasn't bad at it.

Kiva Loan

This is my latest Kiva loan. I love this. It's something that can make real, sustainable change in the world.

After I posted the one a few days ago, I had email from some readers who got enthused and decided to do this themselves. Please join in if you're so moved! It's a cool deal!

Iraq Panel

The news is breaking now that the Iraq Panel has recommended withdrawal of troops. Well, duh. There's some good thinking. They apparently are not offering a time table. Here's one - yesterday. It can't happen soon enough.

We've created civil war in yet another place in the world. We're unable to control it. The "officials" there are unable to control it. You know who could control it? Saddam Hussein.

He was the guy who controlled it. Admittedly, his methods were not the greatest, but it's not like what we've created is good either. We've managed to kill more people faster - like that's better somehow.

It's a country with three factions and all any of them can agree on is that they hate the other two. Well, I guess they can all agree they hate us. And why wouldn't they?

We have created a whole new set of young men and women with life altering injuries, missing limbs, more mental health problems than we can even imagine at this point, and who knows what else. And what have we accomplished? We've removed the man who kept a lid on the warring factions, so they can be at war with each other, and with us, and soon with others in the region if we don't get out so things can calm down.

Meanwhile the "war on terror" that should be happening in Afghanistan is at a standstill. Isn't that what we were supposedly doing - fighting a war on terror - where the terrorist is? I think that's what congress agreed to do - after being lied to about weapons of mass destruction - fight a war on terror - against terrorists. I mean Bin Laden, just in case you've forgotten since it has been so long since "Mission Accomplished."

We've now been fighting in Iraq longer than we fought in WWII. Unfortunately, it bears a lot more resemblance to the war in Vietnam.

So, here's the Patsy Prediction.

1. We're leaving Iraq. Oh, we're going to maintain a presence in the area, but we're going to tuck tail and run now that we've made this mess. The American people have finally gotten tired of spending billions of dollars a week, and seeing 19 year olds come home without legs. We're slow, but eventually we do catch on. Obviously, our schools need to teach better critical thinking skills so we're not so damned slow on the uptake. But, people finally got it and voted in democrats to get us the hell out of Iraq. And, frankly, getting out is the best thing we can do - we are not wanted, welcome or wise there.

2. As soon as we get out of the way Muqtada al-Sadr is going to become the new Saddam Hussein. He's essentially leading the country already. We just need to get out of the way and allow the sectarian war that has been expected for years to happen. It's happening now with us in the middle of it, making it worse.

3. He will keep control the exact same way Saddam did because it's the only way control can be kept in this kind of circumstance.

Al-Sadr hates Americans more than Hussein did. And just in case there was anyone in the whole country who didn't already hate us, we've made sure to take care of that by invading Iraq and ruining their country, creating a situation where 3,700 Iraqi civilians have died just this month.

I've mentioned it before - but it bears repeating - the only kind of war that has any long lasting effect is true civil war. Not war we start - can you say "Sandinista" - but true civil war. All we do when we start a civil war - can you say "Iraq" - is prolong the inevitable.

Just go back to all news stories and cross out "Saddam Hussein" and write in "Muqtada al-Sadr."

Same song, different verse. ...and the chorus swells... fade to black... and we're out.

Misc

Tonight was Chicks and it was great as always. My topic of the evening was leadership. It's something I would recommend to anyone, but I do want the next level of class. I think that's something that will be coming down the pike eventually.

I have spent the day trying to juggle dozens of different things. That seems to be my life in a nutshell these days. But I'm thankful to have a job I enjoy and the health to lead a full life.

For those of you who have emailed regarding the post about Michael Richards, I appreciate your thoughts, but I stand by my post. There are things you cut people a lot of slack for and there are things you hold their feet to the fire for. I contend this falls into the latter category.

Big Idea Person in a Small Project World

I was reminded again today that I am a "Big Idea Person" in a "Small Project World."

People always say they want big ideas, and they enjoy discussing them, but no one really wants to take them on. Big ideas require a lot of work. Big work.

Instead people want to implement small projects. They can accomplish them in a short amount of time, with little money or commitment, and then move on - feeling like they've done something important.

Somehow those big ideas get pushed aside so small projects can be implemented. Unfortunately, big ideas don't come to fruition through small projects, unless people can look at the big picture and do a lot of small projects. But that never seems possible.

Small projects just result in accomplishing small things. Ah... such is life.

The Day

I have spent the day moving from one project to another, without a moment's down time. And, yet, unfortunately, few projects are completed. I did take time for dinner with Julie tonight after a meeting.

I had planned to continue decorating when I got home but I worked on cards instead. I have four Christmas letters left. I think I will just not send letters with any other cards I send. I don't want to have to make more. Maybe I'll call office max and see if they still have it in their system - if so maybe I'll get more. If I have to resend the whole thing it's not worth it.

I suppose it's quite presumptuous of me to think anyone will want to read my Christmas letter anyway, so it doesn't matter. I think everything in it of any consequence is on the blog anyway.

Tomorrow I'm going to do some running around town.It's supposed to be a nice day, and it may be the last one for awhile. So, I'm going to make use of it. I have a long list of MHA things to take care of and some of them require some running around. I'll enjoy them much more if it's 70 than I will if it's 30.

I am going to head upstairs to bed - it's rare for me to do that before midnight but I got up very early today and haven't slept well lately.

Sleep and I never seem to be on the best of terms. I never, ever, get it when people talk about wanting to sleep - it's a bit of torture for me every day/night. And napping - oh my - why would I want to do it more than I already have to?

If I can just squeeze in about 6 hours a night that's plenty. I'm guessing I may actually sleep about 4 of those hours, and about 90 minutes of that is deep, restful sleep. I'm awake 4 hours after going to sleep and will go back to sleep for another two hours - waking often, but resting some. Then for another hour or two after I wake up I try to write or read so I'm at least getting rest even if I can't sleep.

Racist Talk

I have refrained from commenting here about Michael Richards' racial outburst. However, as of today, I am done refraining. He keeps apologizing so there's no reason for me to not enter into the conversation.

OK, here's the deal, I honestly didn't know there were people walking around using the n-word in their heads - and probably to their friends - to describe people. Oh, I know some who use it outloud - I'm from the south - but I didn't realize there were people walking around thinking it but not saying it.

Frankly, I'm even more disturbed by that. At least when someone is blunt I know where they stand. Now I'm wondering who else is walking around with these thoughts in their heads, but I don't know it because their speech doesn't betray their true feelings. And that is ultimitely the issue - their true feelings.

I realize how naive I am. I thought we were so far beyond this. Like decades beyond it. Surprise. I hate ugly surprises.

I have been very pissed at people before. But I can't imagine a time when the n-word would have been a way I would have chosen to express that anger. Am I less angry? No. But that word just doesn't exist in my vocabulary as a way to describe people so it wouldn't come up. Am I holier than thou? No. Absolutely not. I might use a string of other offensive terminology, but there are lines that are not to be crossed and that is one of them.

Things like referring to people as "niggers" and saying the "Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world" are just not things that are part of what's going on in my brain so they're not going to pop out, even in moments of anger.

And, therein, lies the problem. If those things are coming out of your mouth, they're in your brain somewhere - in your consciousness enough that you can say them without having to think too hard about them. They're in your possible list of insults, just waiting to be pressed into service. And it's hard to believe this is the first time you've ever used them.

Mel Gibson and Michael Richards are just two examples of people who are obviously walking around with feelings we didn't know about. I was happier not knowing.

I won't ever look at "Kramer" the same way. I'm sure Richards' costars really appeciate him choosing to do this just as the Seinfeld DVDs came out for the holidays.

He says he has some anger issues and that he doesn't know where this came from. Well, none of us do. Can anger cause you to hurl insults you're not using - at least occasionally - in your every day private life? Can anger cause you to make statements you don't "feel" at some level of your core being? I don't know. I'm doubtful. But that's a question for the psychologists. He is seeing one now, he says.

I'm guessing Richards will head off to rehab for something soon. It's the answer for any inappropriate behavior from public figures - from sending sexual emails to young men to blaming the Jews for all wars.

Unfortunately, once those words are "out there" they can't be taken back. It's why I have a framed postcard by my door that says, "Les mots qu'on n'a pas dits sont les fleurs du silence." Roughly translated it means, "The words not spoken are the flowers of silence." It's just a nice way to remind myself as I walk out the door every morning to try to keep my mouth shut. I'm more successful some days than others, but at least I don't have things like that rattling around in my brain to keep under control.

Kiva

Sometimes you learn about an idea and you just know it's a big idea. That's what kiva.org is - a big idea.

You can change someone's life with a $25 loan. You'll even get paid back.



Kiva.org works with non-governmental organizations (non profits) in various places around the world. Local entrepreneurs apply for loans and it's then posted on the website. You can pick who you want to support in what areas of the world and by what they're doing.

I chose to lend to a woman in Togo for money for a beauty salon - her profile will be in the box above until her project is completely funded, then another one will appear. You can read more her or any of the others by going to kiva.org yourself.

You get paid back over the next few months, without interest. It's an ingenious idea that allows the average person to invest $25 or more, and make a real difference.

I support Heifer International for the same reason - it's doing something that will have long term effect.

Go take a look at Kiva and find something you'd like to loan to. It feels good.

The Tree

I put more decorations on the tree - actually, that's what I've been doing for the last two and a half hours. I kept thinking I was done, but then I would see a bare spot. When I decided I was really done I went to the basement to take some ornament boxes and discovered an unopened ornament box.

Of course I had to bring it up and go through it. Last year I didn't use all my ornaments and missed some of my favorites. I knew there were two boxes I didn't open last year. Well, this was one of them and I got to rediscover some of my cherished ornaments.

In that box were two glass balls that Mia beaded around that I like to have near the top of the tree. Also, a little teapot ornament that a former board member gave me one year. It also had the ornament I bought at Monticello and a glass star I got at Kate's Paperterie in NYC.

It also had a painted ceramic bell my friend Leah's son, Zach, did when he was about five. He's almost 15 now. Another gift from a friend's child, David Naylor's daughter, Ariana, gave me a dough star with glitter on it when she was little. Well, actually, it was really her mom, Kristin, who gave it to me but I have treasured it all these years. That was probably 12 years ago.

I didn't look at the tag on it, but I do try to tag things with the date and names so I don't have to guess how long it has been. If people give me an ornament and it has a name tag on the gift I try to just save the tag. But, I also just buy little tags that I add to the ones I can't write on.

Decorating the tree is always such a memory-rich experience for me. There are ornaments people have given me, and things I've picked up on trips. There are things people have made, and things they selected specifically for me. I love them all.

I cannot imagine not wanting to have a Christmas tree. It will be a sign to me that I'm getting old if I ever don't want to put up a tree. It's always an indication to me that someone has entered another phase of life when they choose not to decorate. It's something I associate with elderly people, although I know many older people who still decorate trees. My mom did every year.

Of course, sometimes you have to scale back for one reason or another. When I was house-hunting I didn't decorate extensively because I realized I could be moving at any time.

But it's one of the things I love to have - a beautiful, sparkling, bright, cheery Christmas tree. Mine is ready for the icicles and then it will be done. I will try to post some pix soon.

Congratulations Salt Hawks

OK, I'm so not a sports person, despite the fact that the UK Wildcats played a large part in my choice of a university. However, the local High School Football team just won its third state championship in a row. That's impressive, even if you're not a sports fan. So... Congratulations Hutchinson Salt Hawks.

I can't tell you a darned thing about the season - I've been barely aware of it - but even I know a state championship is very cool - much less three in a row. What a treat for the guys who have gotten to play in all three of those games.

Cards and an ID-10-t error

Well, about 95% of my Christmas cards are in the mail. I have some left to do and some that I need to do address corrections on. Due to my own stupidity, I have to reenter some addresses into the computer. It was NOT computer error, it was definitely an ID-10-t error and I'm the idiot. Oh well... all of life is a learning experience.

I just got back from a Thanksgiving trip to Joplin and dropped off a chunk of the cards in Wichita. Since they would go from Hutch to Wichita and back again I thought I'd just short circuit that journey.

I went grocery shopping on my way into town, so I don't have to leave the house again tonight and I can finish the tree and do some other decorating.

Christmas is exactly ONE MONTH from today. I want to enjoy every moment of the season. You only get so many Christmases in a lifetime. I want to relish every one.

Well, I was out with the masses this morning, hunting bargains. It's only my second time to be out in the day after Thanksgiving rush. It's OK the first stop or two, but after that it becom1es a nightmare as more people drag themselves out of bed.

Frankly, if you're not going to get up and go early there isn't much point I don't think. Of course, "early" to some people means beginning Thanksgiving afternoon. I'm not that devoted.

My big purchase of the day was an external hard drive at $100 less than retail after rebates. It was worth getting up early for and worth fighting the crowds for - mainly because there were plenty of the hard drives and no fighting was necessary.

This is what a happy shopper looks like. Still tired, but happy.




I realized as Greg was taking pix that I had not even brushed my hair, much less applied any makeup before leaving this morning. And, unfortunately, I've noticed that I've reached "that age" where I look a lot better with makeup than without it. Most people would be smart enough to not post such a thing on the world wide web, but here it is - me after just rolling out of bed and heading to the stores. I did brush my teeth, but that was about it. I broke my mother's cardinal rule - never leave the house without lipstick. I think that's twice this week I've done that.

One morning Greg and I went to Skaets for breakfast and I thought, "oh, gosh, I never see anyone there I know in the morning - I can go without any makeup." We hadn't even gotten seated until I heard Andrea saying hello and introducing us to her parents who were visiting. It was great to meet them, even though I was doing it without any lipstick.

After a couple of stops this morning, Greg and I went to have breakfast. Then I had a nap. Then Greg had a nap. Then I had another nap. Who needs tryptophan when there's wee-hours-of-the-morning shopping to be done?