Epiphanies Come At the Oddest Times

I have had a very relaxed day, which I needed. It seems the last 6-8 weeks I've not had any time when I wasn't rushed for one reason or another. I even took a nap today - something almost unheard of for me. Maybe once a year I take a nap.

One of the things I did accomplish today was putting together more of the kitchen from washing everything in the cabinets and drawers. I had a little epiphany while I was putting the silverware away. One of the reasons I don't find time for housework sorts of things is that I don't think of them as very productive. They are never done. You just have to keep doing them over and over and over again. The same things. To no end.

I've always wondered what the deal is with me and housework because, frankly, I don't mind the actual work at all. That's not the problem. Actually, I kind of enjoy some parts of it - it has a beginning, middle and end, and you can see progress. But I mind the time it takes. That seems to be a theme for my life - I don't mind the work, but I mind the time.

Why is that? Well, I think of time as very, very precious. A truly vanishing commodity as each moment lived is a moment less we have to experience.

I'm almost always doing something - generally something productive - at least in my sense of what's productive. But, I never just sit around and "relax." I'm not even sure what that means. To me it sounds like another word for doing nothing, which means you would be producing nothing.

I do understand the idea of having to have time to think. But when I'm doing that I generally have a pen and paper at hand so I can write down ideas that pop up. Or I do that when I'm driving. I'm also fortunate that the way my brain works I can have a whole track devoted to thinking about various things while I'm doing something else.

There are things I love to do that I simply don't allow myself a lot of time for. I love to take long baths, but never do unless I have something to read or write that I can do while in there soaking. I love to bake, but rarely do unless I'm having guests. Maybe now that I have coworkers again I can take baked goods into the office.



At the same time, I love it when my house is tidy - I just don't love it enough to spend the time to make it that way. Once a year at Christmas I have things pretty clean. Of course, the time I spend doing Christmas is something many people would consider not very productive. But it feeds my soul, and that is a necessity.
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The day

I worked from 8 this morning until about 10:30 tonight, with no break. But, it was a successful day.

We had astronaut Charlie Duke in for a members only presentation. There was a press conference at 4:15, then a reception at 6:30 and a presentation at 7:30.

Unfortunately, they cancelled his flight and he didn't arrive in Wichita until 5. So, he wasn't there for the press conference, but made the other events. It was a frantic day for me, but things went well. He was charming and funny and gracious.

Afterwards, a few of us went out to get some dinner and I'm just now home. And not long out of the bed. I'm a tired pup, but excited by some possibilities that opened up tonight. I'll write more... after I sleep for a bit.
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Embracing the New

I took this photo at Sharon's house the other day. This is what a flower grown by a landscaper looks like. I felt the need to offer that disclaimer in case you thought I had grown a perfect flower like this. That is not the case.

It's a beautiful night here this evening. There are storms just a few miles away from us but we've had no rain at all. But it has cooled off and it's just lovely. I've spent the night working on things around my house. I'm having folks over tomorrow night for the ad hoc book group and there is no way my house is going to be as tidy as I'd like. But, so it goes.

I've never felt the need for my house to be pristine before having guests. If I did, I'd never have guests. I seem to always have something in process. At the moment it's going through my office and cleaning all my kitchen cabinets. The room between them is the dining room. Guess where stuff is piled? So, I'll set up a card table in the living room, put a table cloth on it and put the cold drinks in there. I had planned to bake something but I'm not sure I'm going to do that. I doubt anyone is going to want anything as hot as it is going to be tomorrow. And I'm not sure heating up my house is a good idea either.

I'm feeling a real shift in my life these days. It's more than just having a new job. Things are shifting in a major way. I was thinking about this early today and then on twitter someone sent part of this quote, which I love.

It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power. 
                                Alan Cohen

I don't know how much courage it takes to embrace the new, but I certainly believe there is power in change. "Courage" is sometimes another way of saying "inevitable." But I suppose there is a difference in being swept along by the inevitable, and embracing the new.

Sometimes I read - or very occasionally write - a phrase that stays with me. "Embracing the new" is one of those, I'm sure. It's such a lovely turn of phrase.

I think I'm a person who embraces the new. It's exciting to meet new people, learn new things and go new places. And it seems my life offers plenty of opportunity for newness.

My friend, Leah, used to say, "your life is weird. I know you don't do anything to make your life weird, but it's weird." I'm not sure if that's true, but my life does seem to have many moments of wonder, for which I'm grateful.
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Day and Night

I need more hours in the day and night to get everything done. I've been awake since 4:21 this morning. I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. Now it's 12:20 and too late for me to get to bed really early for tonight.

After work I ran home and did some laundry and changed clothes, then met Kelly at Skaets for a burger. It was great to visit with her. It's the first time we've had a meal together, but I hope not the last.

While I was there Sharon called to ask about some work I'd told her I'd help with so I went straight to her house for that. Got home about 9:30 and have been working on other things since then. But I've gotten some things crossed off my list that I'm so happy to be done with.

I just need to find some time, somewhere in my day and night, to rest. There just never seems to be any time for that. Of course, there doesn't seem to be time for cleaning house either. I still have dishes on top of the dining room table from cleaning out all the cabinets. I'm having people over Thursday night and I think there are still going to be dishes all over the dining room table. I just can't seem to find enough time to do everything that needs doing. I'll just bake something and hope that distracts people.
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I Lead a Charmed Life

I had the day off today and had big plans for it. Unfortunately, things did not go exactly as I had planned. My intention had been to finish some deep cleaning I've been doing in the kitchen and going through some things piled in the dining room, and generally getting my house in better shape..

But, it didn't go quite that way because I had a problem with the house. But, some hours later, after an electrician's visit, and who knows how many hundreds of dollars, the problem is solved. And I'm feeling incredibly fortunate that I was here, and that Zenor could send Chris over. I'm sorry to learn that Dennis, who has worked on my house since I've owned it, has retired. But Chris did a good job and I'm so happy he could come today.

I'm overwhelmed with things in my house that need organizing, cleaning or both. When do people have time to get all those things done? The last time I remember my world being really organized was when I was in college. That was a long time ago. A very long time ago.

I suppose if I spent less time "living" and more time cleaning it would get done, but I want a life so I can do things like go for walks at Sandhills, where I took that photo this weekend. Mark, Greg and I went out there Sunday afternoon for a walk. It was a spur of the moment decision and it was nice, other than the blood letting that occurred from the zillions of mosquitoes.

It was a nice weekend with Mia, Greg, Mark, Sharon and I hanging out and seeing fireworks and generally soaking up the Fourth of July Fun.
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Fourth of July Parade

If you can look at that picture and not feel good about apple pie, mom, and the good ole US of A there's something wrong with you. I'm sorry but there's just no other way to put it.

As I'm sure you've guessed, this was taken during the Fourth of July parade in Hutchinson yesterday. This dad and daughter were a few feet away from me and I couldn't resist the Americana moments.

One thing I love about the Fourth is that people dress up in their festive best. This little girl has stars on her dress, and even dad is wearing red.

Some people take it up a notch. I would call this a bold choice, but ever so appropriate.



This girl was mulling over her choice.



This young lady had gone for the understated look with only a head scarf.



The other reason I choose this photo of her is because of the tractors in the background. This is an agricultural area, so we always have antique tractors in the parade, which I think is just darned cool. But I loved that this guy took it a step further. Remember this when you've got extra tractors - you use one to pull two more on a flatbed. Now that is good old fashioned, American ingenuity at work.

The Hutchinson parade has an antique horse-drawn hearse, antique tractor trailers and antique cars.



But we also like to start them young.



Then there are cars you don't expect, including this art car courtesy of the Hutchinson Public Library.



There are also people you don't expect in a parade. Like this one.



You might assume he was with the animal shelter folks you see behind him, but he wasn't. He was with the float in front of him, which was for a local exercise place. Why he's wearing a gorilla mask, I'm not sure, but I bet he's glad it was cooler yesterday than it was last week.

Of course, there are also people you expect to see in a Fourth of July Parade, like those waving flags.



That's Nancy closest to us and Trish in the middle. They were marching with the Reno County Democrats. I just love the way Nancy's flag is waving.

The coolest float was definitely the Cosmosphere's, with Astronaut Joe Engle as Grand Marshal.



And I'm not saying that just because I have a vested interest. I mean just look at it - it's cool.

The parade was a beautiful piece of Americana, as it usually is. I felt the need for some apple pie, but missing that, we had some Roy's barbecue.



Finally, ladies and gentleman, I would like to show you a picture of a real man. That's him, right there - a true American hero - a dad who's not afraid to carry his daughter's pink sparkly purse full of candy gathered during the Fourth of July parade, so she can hold her flag. He's secure in himself. He's confident with it.

I admire parents, especially really good ones. What's more Americana than a good dad? Not much I can think of.
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Issues

I've got some computer issues but regular blogging will resume shortly!

Patsy
www.patsyterrell.com
sent from mobile device

Scenes of the Day

I'm really happy with how my front flower bed looks this year. This is due in large part to Releaf Landscapes. Sharon and her crew cleaned it out for me early in the season and they've weeded for me a couple of times, too. I'm the first to confess that I'm a heat wimp and when it gets hot I retreat to the air conditioning and leave the plants to fend for themselves.

I have a timer in the front and one in the back so they get water every day. But, beyond that, I'm kind of neglectful once it's hot. But, at the moment things are looking nice. I need more blue in the front, and more white spread out. I didn't know what color the cosmos were when I put them in and I happened to get one of the two white ones right near the white rose bush.

Oh well... so it goes...

Many of these are from seeds I started this year. For the first time I think I have enough plants to pick them and bring them inside. I have quite a few growing in the backyard, too. I'll try to get some photos back there soon, too.

I've killed a large part of the grass, and put in garden instead. I've expanded the herb garden, have a few veggies growing and lots of tomatoes. I had my first ripe tomato off the vine today. Yummy! I have put in more than two dozen tomato plants so I should plenty of those as the summer goes on.

I hope I'll be able to foist some off on my new coworkers if I become too over run. We'll see. Maybe I'll have to get a booth at the farmer's market. Okay, lets face it, that's not likely to happen - me up at the crack of dawn on a Saturday with freshly picked produce. Lets just enjoy the fantasy of that for a moment and then let it go to never never land where it shall forever remain.

I have enough flowers that I can take some into the office, too, which really brightens things up.



I worked late today to finish up a project that volunteers are helping with. I needed to finish some things on my end so they can do their work and I didn't want to leave without having that done.

Right before I left, I snapped a photo of my desk with the to-do lists laid out for tomorrow. We have an event tomorrow night (free to the public presentation by Astronaut Joe Engle at 7 p.m.) so I'm working tomorrow and taking Monday off for the holiday.

I'm not generally a very neat person when it comes to such things. My desk at home is piled - and I do mean piled. The difference at work is that I have enough desk/table space to spread things out. We'll see if that maintains as more and more stuff comes into my work world.

I always find it interesting how other people work. I have a friend who hates making lists. I can't imagine getting through my day - work or personal - without a list.



I keep two lists. When it gets messy I rewrite it. Today was the first day for this list. Unfortunately, I didn't cross off enough stuff today that I needed to make a new one. sigh...
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Dreaming with Lavender

My plan for tonight is to drift off with the scent of fresh lavender coming from the bedside table. I picked some from the garden tonight with just that in mind.

It has been a long day. I worked all day, then did qi gong and then went to the other office and worked there until about eight tonight. I still had more things to sort through but I needed to get home and finish the last bit of mowing it got too dark to do the other night.

Friends are coming for the weekend so I need to work on the house a bit. It's just not at all comfy for people to hang out at the moment - too much stuff in too many places. I had hoped to work on it some tonight but there wasn't time once I'd done the other "had to do" things.

This is shaping up to be a very busy summer, and the garden hasn't even started coming in yet. I must make time for fresh tomato basil soup and eggplant parmesan - two of my favorite, right out of the garden things. But the only ingredient I have so far is basil. So it will be a little while on that.

Life is good. Just busy. But good. The days are full, but interesting.

I am eager to settle into a routine that will allow me more time for "life" things. It will happen - this is just the transition time.

Well, time for me to take my lavender and go upstairs. Maybe this will bring even more interesting dreams.

I've been keeping a dream journal since the writing workshop. Nothing earth shattering so far, but I'll keep you posted. Lavender is supposed to be very relaxing. Maybe tonight I'll have a breakthrough dream.
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Fabric Store a Misnomer

I went to Wichita tonight to go to a fabric store. I did this because, not surprisingly, I wanted to buy some fabric for a skirt. And there is no fabric store in Hutchinson anymore. There's not one in Wichita either, in the sense of there being a store where you would go to purchase cloth off of bolts.

Fabric stores no longer sell fabric. As best I can tell they mostly sell scrapbooking supplies, which I have begun to think of as a scourge because they keep taking up shelf space where things I want to buy used to be. Everyone from Wal-mart to unique boutiques have the de rigeur scrapbooking section. Okay, I like the funky scissors. I have them all. I'm over it. Surely practically everyone on the planet who wants them has the funky scissors now. Please, stop. I feel like I'm drowning in a sea of paisley printed origami in waiting.

As I wandered the aisles of the fabric stores - past the garden knick knacks, the plain wooden birdhouses begging for craft paint, and other assorted goods that had nothing to do with fabric, I was struck by the similarities of fabric stores to book stores.

Why, you may ask? Because, book stores no longer sell books. Have you noticed that? They sell DVDs, coffee and keychains.

I don't buy DVDs and I don't buy scrapbooking supplies, but I think it's just wonderful for other people to do so. However, could you clue me in before I drive an hour? If you called it a "scrapbooking store" or a "DVD store" then I'd know it wasn't of interest to me. But when you call it a fabric store or a book store I expect you to vend those products.

I'm silly that way.
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Road of Life

We often talk about life as a journey. It's a time tested metaphor.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. In Kansas we have lots of very straight roads, with a vanishing point on the horizon that seems like a straight shot. But, even those roads are full of bumps. And ruts.

Why is it so easy to get into a rut? The more you sink into it, the less you can move side to side, and the less chance you have of ever getting out of it. There's some comfort in the rut. You know what to expect, and you can judge it safe because it's where many before you have traveled, and where you seem destined to go.

When you do make a break for the high road beside the rut, it's a bumpy ride. There may be some slips and sides back into the rut, and you're messing with it for the other folks who have been your traveling companions there. You may be creating new paths out of the rut but you can also be smashing down the edges in places, making the rut even more restrictive.

It can take awhile to get on solid ground, where things are smooth again. Then, what happens, unless you keep seeking new ground? You make a new rut.

This seems to be one of the cycles of life, metaphor or not. I guess the trick is how to figure out when you're in a rut and when you're just content. They sound very different, don't they? Yet, it seems they would share many similarities.

I hope you didn't expect me to have an answer. I just have questions. Always questions.
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Writer's Workshop

I spent the weekend in Emporia at a writer's workshop. Max McCoy, standing, is the organizer. Other faculty this year included Jon Chandler, Johnny Boggs, and Antonia Felix.

I was fortunate enough to get a critique of the first bit of my novel. Last year Max read it, this year Antonia. Both had great suggestions. Both were very positive.

I feel like the novel is in better shape than I had thought before the weekend. I just need some uninterrupted time to work on it. Sometimes justifying the time spent on writing is a bit difficult. One of these days I'll know exactly what I'm supposed to be doing with my life and I'll get about doing it. But I guess that day is not today.

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Inspiring Day

I have had an inspiring day, listening to authors and songwriters talk about their process.

There's something magic about being around other creative sorts. I want a writer's group in Hutchinson. But, I've made two attempts to start one, without accomplishing it. Maybe I need to look for one in Wichita, or maybe I need to spend that time writing instead.

My novel is at a place where I need to rewrite a few chapters and then I think I've done about as much as I can do without an editor, who can give me specific advice.

The day was filled with great success stories. Those are wonderful to hear. It makes me so happy for those writers.

The day ended with a beautiful sunset - a perfect ending to an inspiring day.

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Harvest on the Prairie

Harvest time has arrived on the prairie. Fields everywhere are dotted with combines and elevators have long lines of trucks waiting to unload.

One of the differences here on the prairie, as opposed to the farming I was familiar with in the south, is that here the evening meal is carried out to the field. When I was growing up, generally the big meal was at noon and workers came to the house to eat and rest a bit. Here the farm wives, or others, will take food out to the fields so the workers stop only briefly. It's just a different way of doing things.

I have always wanted to participate in this ritual, just because it's different than what I am used to. However, as much as I hate "the toting" when I'm doing any food related event, I doubt I'd want to make a lifestyle of it. Maybe I could just send some baked goods out to the field with someone. That seems a bit more my speed after all.



There is something satisfying about this time of year in Kansas. The seasons and crops seem to cross here, leaving strips of dried prairie grass, bright green, and recently cut golden in the fields. It's like an abstract painting and part of me desperately wants to see what happens when I drag a paint brush from top to bottom, mixing and marbling the colors. What color blue would I get from that green and yellow?

I'm enjoying the new job. It's a fun job when your email can include things like going to a meeting about a new exhibit. I don't seem to mind meetings now.

Of course, the 40th anniversary of the Apollo mission where man walked on the moon for the first time is July 20. So, today we were looking at some materials they used in an exhibit 10 years ago and deciding what to do for this anniversary. I asked if I could take a photo to share because I think it's just so cool looking to see historic images spread out like that.



It's fun to have such things as part of the work day. Next week I'll be posting more about this on their blog but I didn't have time to work with the photos during the work day today so am just now getting to look at them. Very cool. Very fun.

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Icons Gone

It has been a rough week for icons.

I remember sitting up way too late when I was in grade school, watching Johnny Carson. Hearing "Here's Johnny," signaled the beginning of my evening when I could enjoy some alone time and late night TV. Even then I wasn't a good sleeper. My mom eventually gave up trying to make me sleep and let me go - as long as I got up the next morning. Johnny Carson was a staple of my childhood. And there by his side, always, was Ed. It was the ultimate friendship played out before our eyes every night. Ed went on to other gigs, but he will always remain the best friend.

When Farrah Fawcett came on the scene as one of Charlie's Angels, she was a phenomenon. Anyone my age - male or female - remembers the famous poster and the famous hair. Many of us had "feathered" hair and there was one reason - Farrah. Of course, while most of us could get some semblance of the hair, the flawless face and body didn't come with it. Pity. After leaving the show, she shut up the critics by demonstrating she was more than a body and showed off her acting talent.

Michael Jackson was an innovator in the music business. Thriller remains one of the most successful videos ever made. People said it was ridiculous, that it wouldn't get played because it was too long. I tuned in to watch the world premiere of it and so did millions of others. And every time I catch it, I stop and watch it because it's good. And dozens of other songs and videos are good too. Michael has had more than his share of troubles - I don't know what did or didn't happen - but he always seemed like a man who wanted to have a childhood a few decades too late. It's a shame he didn't get to have one as a child.

Anyone who's a child of the 70s and says they don't remember these three is lying.  We've all heard "Here's Johnny," we've all seen the poster, we can all hum a Michael Jackson tune. They all influenced our times - good or bad.

Loss of a public figure reminds us all of our own mortality. Sometimes we just don't care to be reminded of that, thank you very much. But, nonetheless, there it is. People are moaning why we're not spending time on twitter and facebook and elsewhere talking about North Korea and Iran and the wars. It's because those are nebulous threats to our existence. Getting cancer or dying unexpectedly with no warning are much more real. People feel a need to process. Good grief, let them process.

And, please, just for a change of pace, have a little respect. Regardless of what you thought of any of these people, let those who loved them from near and far have some time to grieve.

Ed - thanks for the laughs, Farrah - thanks for the style, Michael - thanks for the music.
________________

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Settling in

The air conditioning in my office was working well, today. Thank goodness. The Cosmosphere was hit during storms recently and the AC has been up and down in various parts of the building since then. Last week the offices were cool in our section, but it was warm elsewhere. Saturday everything seemed to be functioning.

We had an event Saturday and when I left about noon I turned my office AC so it wouldn't come on too much since I was going to be working for the MHA on Monday. Unfortunately, Monday afternoon about 4 the AC went down. So, when I arrived Tuesday morning it was toasty in my office. Very toasty. We had an appointment in Wichita so we left about 9 and when we got back about 2:30 it was better in there. I certainly wasn't cold, but I was pretty comfy. Early in the day Greg brought me a fan, which was a big help.

I'm settling into things at the Cosmosphere. The problem with starting any new job is that you're already behind when you start because there has been a gap between people where things have piled up. Also, you're just learning how to do everything. Even the simplest of things have to be explained because every place has its own culture and when you're the new person you're trying to figure all that out.

At the Cosmosphere there are tons of different things going on, and each one has its own materials, timeframe, etc., so I'm definitely in learning mode. Fortunately, Marisa and Michele have been very patient with me as I ask a million and one questions every day.

At home I've been working on all my side jobs and the garden. I put some pumpkin vines in this year and I'm starting to fear them. They grow - visibly - every day. So, I go out every day and move the vines to try and get them to grow in a certain direction. On Saturday, I moved them that morning and by that evening they had grown back across the walkway.

This weekend I'm attending a writer's workshop, but after that I hope to get a bit of a handle on my life at home. It is a bit out of control. I worked on things all weekend but didn't get done by a long shot. Why does it seem something is always out of control? I do not know how some people seem to always have everything under control.

I get a tremendous amount of things done in the average day, but there's always something that's undone. I guess maybe I need to do fewer things. But, I like to clean all my cabinets out once a year and wash all the dishes, and I like to have a garden, and I like to write a cookbook column every month, and I like to play in the art studio, and I like to do qi gong (today was the first day I could in awhile!), and I like to teach people social networking, and I like to fill-in-the-blank. There just don't seem to be quite enough hours in every day/night cycle to get it all done.
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Twists and Turns

Life is full of twists and turns. Some of them we can see coming and some are complete surprises. Regardless of how they arrive, we have no way to see around the bend. We just have to forge on ahead and hope for the best.

Every few years I seem to go through a period of tremendous change. Some say we go through a "recycling" every seven years. I'm not exactly on that schedule, but I'm not far off of it either.

From April of 2001 to March of 2002 I had tremendous change - my mother died, and less than a month earlier one of my best friends had been found dead in her house. I left a job I'd had a very long time and started a whole new career. I bought my first house, and moved, leaving an apartment I'd lived in a long time. It was a lot for 11 months.

This year seems to be on track for a lot of change, too. I hope the year brings only positive changes. I'm open to fun, happiness, contentment, joy and delight. Very open.
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Creative Sisterhood and Really Listening

Tonight was Creative Sisterhood. Virginia wasn't able to be here but the rest of us gathered. It was a different kind of night, but good.

I am continually being reminded these days that listening is important. How often in life do you feel like you're really being heard? I'm guessing it's less often than you would like. Creative Sisterhood is always an opportunity to be heard, and to listen.

Sometimes our most important role is to listen - really listen. Way back when, when I was learning to be a journalist, one of the best pieces of advice I ever got was from University of Kentucky professor, Maria Braden. The advice was to always be listening to the answer someone gave you during an interview, instead of forming your next question. It's a difficult thing to do when you feel you'll be judged on the quality of your questions.

In various jobs I had - in TV, radio and print - multiple people complimented my interviewing skills. I wanted to take credit, as if I had invented some new way of asking questions. But I knew it was just because Maria Braden lived in my head, gently shaking her finger at me when I had the urge to jump in with another question too soon.

When you really listen, occasionally you hear a barely perceptible hesitation when a person is deciding if they should give voice to a story that hasn't been told until that moment. It's an honor to bear witness to that. And it only happens when you listen. Really, really listen. And pause.

There have been times I was holding my breath in those pauses, waiting for what was next, hoping I was capable of doing justice to the story being formed. When people tell their real stories, they share their souls, something that must be treated with respect.

One of the things I've learned, that I would share with students if I were in the position Maria Braden was, is that people have sometimes been wanting to tell their stories for a very long time. They've just been waiting for someone who would listen. Really listen.
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Ten Ways to Be Happier Today

Ten Ways to Be Happier

1. Find joy in the simplest of things.
Bumping into an old friend, having a fabulous conversation, getting a great parking place on a busy afternoon, or finding a new treasure at Goodwill can all give me a happiness boost.
2. Appreciate good things consciously.
When good things happen take time to consciously appreciate them - not to just accept them and brush them off.
3. Count your blessings.
Get a notebook and write down three things about today you're grateful for. If you can't think of anything consider you have a pen and paper and you're able to write. That alone means you have some material comforts and your brain and body are functioning. Do not take these things for granted. (See #2.)
4. Quiet time.
You will never find the answers to life's questions if you can't even hear the questions. We all need quiet time to think, to meditate, to contemplate. Insist on it.
5. Decide to be happy.
I am blessed to be happy most of the time. Does that mean everything is going perfectly in my life? No. Absolutely not. It means I choose to react to things in the most positive way I can find. It means I make a conscious decision every single day - sometimes every single hour of the day - to look for happiness.
6. Forgive.
If you're going through your life holding a grudge, harboring ill will, or with a chip on your shoulder you're never going to be happy. Let it go. Things are the way they are. Not even God changes the past.
7. Say no.
"No" is a complete sentence. It does not require justification or explanation. If you learn to say no, you protect yourself from committing to things you don't want to do.
8 Do what makes you happy.
Sounds simple enough, but how often do you do what you really want to do? Exactly. Make time to do it more. The floor can wait to be mopped. Really.
9 Invite friends over.
People who have friends are happier. Engaging with friends face to face releases all kinds of stress-relieving chemicals we don't get any other way.
10. Don't wait for someone else to make you happy.
It's a losing proposition to wait for someone else to make you happy. Get about creating your own happiness. Today. Now.
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Grounding, Gratitude and Going Forward

I'm feeling contemplative these days. The year is not even half over and I've run a gamut of emotions since we flipped the calendar. I need some grounding, and it is out of my reach at the moment.

One of my Top Ten Rules for Living is that when you've lost your way in the world, you have to return to something that grounds you. When there you can reset your compass and go forth into the world again.

I have some things that always ground me. I'm grounded by going to Kentucky and seeing "my people," and going to the confluence of the Ohio and Mississippi Rivers near Cairo, Illinois. Unfortunately, I just can't make that long of a trip yet. I haven't been on a trip longer than to Joplin - less than five hours - at a time since surgery. Certain things are still painful and sitting upright in a car for extended periods is one of them. So, that's not an option yet.

There are other things that really ground me, too. But, for various reasons, spending extended periods of time with any of those is not an option right now, either.

So, where does that leave me? A bit dazed, out of sorts, unsteady, uncertain and uneasy. And what to do about that? Deal with it. Nothing else I can do. I'm spending more time in meditation these days, seeking internal grounding. I've also been writing more with pen and paper, which is different than the writing I do here.

This is not a "poor me," whiney post. I wake up every day grateful to be alive. Literally. I have for many years, but it has taken on a new meaning in the last few months. I like to start the day with a quick prayer of thanksgiving that I'm alive and thinking and talking and hearing and walking and seeing and functioning. Frankly, for a very long time, what I feel when I wake up is surprise that I've made it through another day and night, and that's followed by gratitude.

In time I'll find the grounding I need. I think I'm just going to have to search for it harder. I've been blessed that it has been readily available to me for many years and it's not right now - ironically, it's a time when I need it desperately. So much has happened the last few months that I need that stability, but maybe I'm meant to find a new way.

I am a different person than I was six months ago. I don't think it's possible for someone to take the journey I did and be the same on the other end. It also changes everyone around you, because they're taking a journey, too. Like you, they had no choice in the matter. But, they do have a choice of whether or not to open themselves to that sort of thing again.

I'm starting to think that the people who come out on the other side may have to find new common ground. It's also possible that the person I've become just isn't appealing to the same people anymore. Maybe once people have seen you weak, needy, sick or frightened you can't ever go back.

Or maybe it's just that everyone needs to settle into their new beings and learn how to function in the world as that person. I know I do. I don't know this person, yet. And I need to ground myself well before I start to explore that.

I hope I like this person.

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Cosmosphere has Russian Space Suits and the Trophy Trout

This morning was Coffee at the Cosmosphere, which they do every third Thursday. The CEO, Chris Orwoll, shows and talks about some of the artifacts in the collection that aren't on display at the moment.



Today's topic was Russian Space Suits. He had a variety of suits, from various time periods, and talked about the particular designs of each one.

 



He had a little something extra this morning - three recently donated items that were gifts people involved with the space program exchanged. These were largely gag gifts, but memorable ones.



One was the "Trophy Trout," given to Guenter Wendt by astronaut Mike Collins on July 16, 1969. The trout was "fresh" when nailed on the board and presented to Wendt. He had it in his freezer for 14 years before he found someone who could freeze dry and preserve it.

These will eventually be on display at the Cosmosphere. Today was a sneak preview. Hear the whole story:

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Going, going, going

I've been running from one thing to another all day today. It was 4:30 this afternoon before I got to have lunch. I had hoped to get to bed early but at 1:15 it's probably too late for that considering I'll be getting up about 6:30. Oh well, I'll try for tomorrow.

If I owe you email or phone calls or FB notes or anything else for a volunteer job or board - or if you're a friend who has been very patient already - please be patient with me a little longer as I go through the next few weeks of finishing up things for the MHA and starting at the Cosmosphere. I'm also still doing all my side jobs, so my brain is pretty full.

I promise, if you've asked me about something, you're on the list. It will just be awhile before I can get through the list.

Fortunately, I don't need as much sleep as other people, but I do need some. And I'm gonna go do that now.
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Quote of the Day

"To get a good look at yourself, take yourself far away."
John LaPlante.
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It has been a week and it's only Tuesday

Monday night Greg and I were coming back from Joplin and spotted these clouds near Beaumont. We had some rain between there and Wichita, but nothing serious. We stopped in Wichita to run some errands and get dinner. While we were there, these clouds - or others like them - produced 90 mph winds in Hutchinson where we live. Fortunately, neither of us had any wind damage to our houses that we can determine.

However, we arrived to discover neither of us had power. I had turned my AC up so it wouldn't come on unless it got really hot. Needless to say, my house was uncomfortable.

Thankfully, Sharon invited both of us to spend the night. Everytime I woke up in the night all I could hear was the purring of the air conditioner - a lovely sound. I would call my house everytime I woke up. Finally, later this morning, I heard the fax machine pick up - another welcome sound. It would have been impossible to sleep here last night - very hot and stuffy. I was so grateful to be able to actually sleep last night as I had a busy day ahead - putting a couple of days worth of work into one.



Now, if you were reading carefully - and there's no reason you should be, really. You'd notice I said we were coming back Monday night. Is that because I had everything done for both jobs, as well as my house, and decided to take Monday off? No, that would not be the case.

Sunday night we had the car loaded and I walked out with the last two things. I said to Greg, "unlock the trunk so I can put my purse in." He unlocked it and said, "my key won't come out." We assumed it was just stuck a little. But it was stuck a lot.

We putzed around but couldn't do anything with it. A round of phone calls ensued to various places that might be able to fix it. Eventually Steve or Miss Joy one suggested calling a locksmith. I decided I'd call AAA instead. They wanted to know if the same key started the car as unlocked the trunk. No. They don't consider your vehicle disabled if that's the case and will not provide service. That is just the latest in a long line of AAA disappointments. The fact that there was torrential rain between Joplin and Hutchinson was not an important consideration. I called a locksmith on my own and he said he couldn't fix it anyway.

So, we unpacked the necessities we needed for another night in Joplin and started hunting for someone to replace the trunk lock. I put a note out on some social networking sites and one of my friends said he would call his Uncle who lived in the area and ask the next morning. That's how we found Bill's Service Center, that fixed the trunk for me. Thanks, RJ, for the suggestion. They were great.

And when we were driving through the rain Monday night I was glad we had just stayed and gotten it fixed.

Today I spent the whole day running from one thing to another. It was a frantically busy day and then tonight was the MHA meeting. Tomorrow I've got a long list of things to get done. I had planned to get to bed early. I'm not sure at 1:15 a.m. you can be thinking about that, really.

I want to get up early in the morning to do a couple of things in the garden before work. I planted another tomato plant tonight. My herbs are doing great. Bob and Ruth next door gave me some lettuce from their garden tonight. I was over there briefly to help them with the computer they just got. I'm so tickled they'll be able to use my wireless signal. They're such great neighbors it's nice I can provide a little tiny thing for them.
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Safe

I am back home safely. No major storm damage to my house that I can see but no power. Posting from the phone.

Joplin and Mechanical Woes

We're in Joplin for a few extra hours. Greg and I were loading the car and were putting in - literally - the last two items. He unlocked the trunk with his key so I could put them in, and the key got stuck in the open position. So, the trunk will not close.

We putzed with it for quite a while and finally decided to just give it up and stop messing with it. There was tons of rain between Joplin and Hutch so we couldn't tie it shut enough to keep the water out for a five hour trip back. So, we unpacked the computers and settled back in for a few more hours.

I'm in the market for a Joplin mechanic in the morning. My guess is this is a very simple thing to fix, but we don't have the knowledge or tools to do it.

Unfortunately, I had a really busy Monday on tap, most of which required me to be there in person. So, I'll just do the best I can do with things remotely - already have done some tonight - and have to cram a bunch more into Tuesday than I had wanted. But, so it goes... Not much I can do about the whims of mechanical devices. This is not a problem I've ever seen before so just gotta roll with it.

Jolly Mill near Granby Missouri

This afternoon Greg, his girlfriend Mia, his Mom and I went to Jolly Mill near Granby, Missouri. There's an old mill there, as well as this waterfall, and some cool walkways and bridges.



I was quite taken with the greenery on the side of the old mill.

Of course, you knew I couldn't be in nature for any amount of time without seeing...



I swear, the things look for me. Greg jokes that they're slithering around saying "paaatsssssssy" and I think he's right. We heard a kid say, "Look, there's a snake!" Miss Joy was ahead of me and saw it in the water first. I walked the few feet over to where she was and - I'm not joking - it turned and started swimming toward me. She said later she thought it was going to come out of the water and she was getting ready to retreat. Why oh why do they like me so much? I can't stand them. I just want to coexist peacefully, hopefully unaware of each other's existence. But, alas, that is not to be.

They scare me and I can't help it. And, the fact that one of them bit my ankle a few years ago did nothing to improve our relationship.



This is a neat area with some nice walkway bridges over the water in various places, as well as this old iron bridge that I'm guessing was used for cars at one time.



There were lots of families out with lots of fishing going on. I don't get the fishing thing, but I think it's just great for others to do it. Obviously, I could never do it even if I wanted to, because the snakes would be circling around me all the time.



Miss Joy and Mia saw another snake by the mill. I had been over there and wandered away. No doubt it was just trying to figure out where I had gone and find a way to get to me.



And... my own self portrait...



Yeah, I thought it was funny too...

Much, much funnier than snakes swimming toward me.

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Quote of the day

Work while you have the light. You are responsible for the talent that has been entrusted to you.  
                                          Henri-Frederic Amiel

I find this quote to be a lovely turn of phrase, and thought provoking at the same time. "Work while you have the light." Isn't that a beautiful, literal and figurative, phrase?

The second part of this is more of an admonishment, or perhaps a reminder, that we must use the talents we are given. It gives credence to the idea that we must make the most of them, too.

I would go one step further and say that it instructs us to be doing what we, individually, were meant to be doing. Otherwise, we are not acting responsibly toward our talents. So, to be in a profession that doesn't make your heart sing is not treating your talent as it deserves to be treated.

So much to think about.

Canopy Beds and Other Mysteries of Life

I've always had a love of things substantial. I like my beds with canopies, my fireplaces marble, and my garden urns iron. I, however, have none of these things.

I was in a home today that had all of these things, and it caused me to wonder why I am drawn to them. They're attractive, of course, but so are dozens of other things that I don't give more than a passing glance to. So, why am I drawn to the particular things that hold my fancy?

I never feel as at home anywhere as I do in a Victorian-era home. It feels natural to me. I feel settled. I look around and find something pleasing to the eye everywhere I glance. I have the sense of people about to knock on the door and I'm eager to sit and visit with them over tea. Why is that what feels comfortable to me?

As I was looking at this bed today, which was curtained on all four sides, and could have had a canopy on it, I realized that I've been wanting a canopy bed since before I knew how to say the word. I was very young when I read about a canopy bed and started asking for a "ca-noopy" bed. (Rhymes with Snoopy, in case you're wondering.)

I've known the proper pronunciation of the word for a few decades, and yet I do not have a canopy bed. In fact, I have never even slept in one. Is that pathetic? Yes, it is. Surely I could have located a B and B somewhere that had one I could stay in. But I haven't. A few times it has been a possibility but I could never convince myself to spend the extra money for the room with the canopy bed. It seems silly, and yet the longing remains.

Why do we deny ourselves like this? This seems such a simple desire to fulfill and yet I've failed to do so. It may be that I wouldn't really like sleeping in one. I have an unnatural fear of something "falling on my head" so a whole bunch of wood and fabric above me might give me reason to pause. But, it still seems like a good idea. I still want one. I still love they way they look. I have very high ceilings in my house - perfect for accomodating a canopy bed.

There are two interesting questions here about the things that attract us and the things we allow ourselves to have. We humans are infinitely interesting creatures. I wish I understood us. Or even me.

But I guess for tonight I will lay my body down in a regular bed and dream of ca-noopies overhead.

What is the World Coming to?

Does it mean you're getting old when you start thinking things like, "What is the world coming to?"

If so, I fear I may be getting old.

It seems impossible, but the last few weeks I've heard that refrain in my head more than once. What IS the world coming to? All you have to do is watch the news for twelve minutes and it's all you can think of.

North Korea has nuclear power, GM stock got down to $1.09, Donald Trump is fretting over a beauty queen's crown, a doctor was killed to protest killing, and being a museum guard is suddenly a deadly job.

What is the world coming to?