Letting It Settle In

I'm letting it settle in that I won't be able to have my usual kind of Christmas this year. And I'm realizing that instead I will be open to a different kind of holiday season.

I'm also thinking that I just have to find a way to get more rest. I don't know how other people have time to relax and watch TV and do nothing. I worked and then went straight to a board meeting for an organization. Then Greg and I had dinner and I came home, took a quick shower, and started working on some freelance writing that needed to be in an inbox by eight am. Now it's midnight and I'm just laying down. I did one load of laundry and ran the dishwasher but pretty much I worked on things that needed to be done. Am I just slower or less efficient than others? People often tell me I work too hard but I can't seem to get everything done at this rate. What secrets do others know that have escaped me? How do others get it all done?

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Life and Changing

A week or two ago I was looking at the vision collage on my wall and thinking, "hmmm... gosh.... maybe it's time to do a new one of those."



It was this collage I did with friends at a retreat in Ramona in April of last year.

The thought didn't go any further than that, but it did cross my mind to do a new one. Well, when I came home from the hospital the other day, the collage had lost the pushpins holding it to the wall on the top and was bent over so it's no longer visible.



I guess if one were looking for a sign, that might be it. The whole point of vision collages is that you need to be able to see them everyday. This one, conveniently, has just made itself invisible. It's time for a new one.

However, today was not the day for it. Today I cleaned off my desk at home. And it took all day. Embarrassing, huh? But now there's a vast expanse of wood showing.



I'm going to make an effort to keep it this way. I'm so sick of not being able to use my desk effectively because it's covered with stuff. And it's not stuff I particularly need handy, apparently, because it just piles up. I'm not actually using it, I'm just storing it on top of the desk. That is not a good way to live.

It was a good thing for me to do with my time, because I decided to take it easy this weekend. I'm a little sore just from the moving around taking things from one room to another, but feeling better all the time. I think in another day or two I'll be feeling pretty normal.

I am so dreading having more surgery. I can't even really express how much I'm dreading it in so many ways. One of the things I've learned in the last few months is that people in your world get very weary of hearing about your concerns about such things. So, I've learned to keep them to myself by and large. But, when you're the one on this side of the equation you can't help but think about the "what-ifs."

Yes, this is a "minor" surgery. When you're the one being cut open nothing seems minor. And I don't even feel fully recovered from the last time I was cut open. But, no matter how many tears I cry over it or how scared I am, it's still going to have to be done. So, I'm working on changing my attitude about it. My current one is not going to be a good way to go under. So, I'm going to have to get a new one. Quickly.

I'm allowing myself to wallow until midnight tonight and then that's it. So, I've got another 26 minutes to fret and freak out and then I have to make a mental shift.

It takes considerable mental energy to make that sort of a shift and I'm running a little low on that these days, so I'm conserving my energy on all fronts to devote to this. This has been a year much loss for me - everything from body parts to a dear friend to some really painful emotional losses - but life goes on and I'm going to have to go with it.

One of the things I repeated to myself for many months after my mother's death was, "The sun is gonna rise in the morning." No matter what is going on in my life, the sun will come up, the world will spin, and life will go on.
________________

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Cold, Lazy Saturday

It's cold here today and mid-afternoon I'm still in my jammies. I haven't poked my nose out other than to pick up a cookbook that was delivered to the door. From my home office window I can look out onto the back garden and see the remaining flowers whipping in the wind. It does not make a person want to go outside. At least not a person like me who is always cold.

 

Today is the day I always point to that is the first time I get cold in the fall/winter. I will now just be cold until spring. The one time I get warm is at night under the electric blanket, which I set up last night. But the second I stick my toe out from under it in the morning I'm cold again. It just doesn't seem possible for me to wear enough layers of clothes to get warm and stay that way. And yet I love snow. Go figure.

 

This is the sort of weather that makes me want to stay inside and bake. Unfortuantely, I'm not sure if I should be doing that much when I just got out of the hospital yesterday. Even though I don't consider baking to be hard work it does require some effort. So, instead, I'm thinking about what I'll bake for a Cosmosphere event in early November and just doing some planning. I had intended to just stay home one day the week of that event and do the baking, but considering I'll be having surgery I now plan to do that on my own time so that's another day that can be devoted to surgery/recuperating instead.

 

I hate it that all this is happening when I haven't been at this job long enough that people know me well enough to know what sort of person I am, and that I'm "good for it" when it comes to time off. But we don't get to choose these things. In my ideal world I would have been doing what was on my schedule this week instead of being in the hospital and I would not be planning for surgery when normally I'd be deep in the throes of Christmas decorating.

 

I've been thinking about what kind of tree I can put up for the season, but it certainly won't be my usual kind. I'll have to do something very low key and understated this year. I hope I have something that fits that general description. My paper this year is a mix of champagne gold and cream so maybe something along those lines. We'll see.

 

Well, I'm going to try and motivate myself to go to the grocery store, I can't eat only cheese and saltines for the next few weeks. I need to lay in some supplies for things that will be easy on the tummy. I guess that will require putting on something resembling real clothes.

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Home

The Short Version

I got to come home from the hospital late this morning, not too much worse for the wear, other than I'm sore from it hurting so much. But, I got through this without having to have emergency surgery and I'm thankful for that.

 

I see my doctor on Tuesday and will make arrangements then to have surgery done. Not sure if I'll do it here or go to Wichita. We'll see.

 

I felt well enough to go to work this afternoon, so other than being sore I'm okay.

 

The Long Version

I'm not sure I ever really explained. I had a hernia repaired when I had surgery in January. But, by the time I was through the recuperation from surgery I had yet another hernia in my belly button. This one, unfortuantely, continued to grow and has become pronounced. It has been slightly painful but nothing major. I've learned to hold my tummy when I sneeze or cough to protect it and had hoped to just live with it because I could not wrap my mind around having more surgery. Frankly, I still can't.

 

Monday night I thought I had food poisioning, but even after I had gotten everything out of my system I was still having severe pain across my abdomen where the hernia is. At one point I was laying on the floor of the upstairs bathroom with my head on a package of toilet paper using it as a pillow and I thought, "wow, this is not how I want to be living my life." I decided to get up and go to bed and see if when I stretched out the pain stopped.

 

When it didn't subside I decided I should do a little net research and grabbed the phone. In only moments I discovered I had the symptoms of a strangulated hernia, which can be very serious. Gang-green can set up in less than six hours and I'd already been hurting for nearly five hours then. I called Greg and told him I had to go the ER. He came got me and Sharon followed us out there.

 

The ER doctor said it probably was not a strangulated hernia, so that was good news. They did a cat scan and basically a small part of it had narrowed and something was "stuck."

 

There was a plan of putting a tube down my nose and into my belly to suction out anything left or giving it time to work through my system. The doctor said the first option might give me some relief from the pain, but wouldn't be pleasant happening. Of course, morphine was giving me much pain relief, for which I was thankful. I asked what the chance was I was going to end up having to have that done anyway and he said probably about 90%. I didn't see any point in waiting. That sounded like an extra day in the hospital to me. So, I opted for the tube. And, it was unpleasant. Very unpleasant. I am not even ready to discuss how unpleasant yet.

 

It was also a classic situation of why you need people to advocate for you. In the ER they had planned to give me some numbing spray in my throat and numbing gel on the tube. Upstairs they were just ready to jam it into my nose and down my throat. Greg and Sharon got them to use the products mentioned in the ER but the nurse was annoyed by having to get them, none too gentle about putting the tube in, and none too happy about any of it as best I could tell - not to mention she repeatedly told me it was going to be awful to have it done.

 

While I'd like to say she just wanted to make that true, I'm afraid she was just accurate about that. Fortunately, she and one other nurse seemed to be the abberations. It's just that those experiences are the ones that stick out. Overall, nursing care was good. In fact, the next day, my nurse, Jeanne, was amazing.

 

I'm sorry to say I've been in two hospitals this year so have some comparisons that can be made. And, lets face it, the nurses are really the ones in charge of your care on a moment to moment basis. But, that comes after the surgeon. Last time I went where the surgeon was, and that's probably what I'll do this time too.

 

They cannot tell me what caused this to happen, but the only thing out of the ordinary is that I ate some figs that day. Needless to say, I won't be doing that again anytime soon. Until I have the surgery I'm going to be extra careful about what I eat. But it may not have been the figs. It may have been that I moved funny that day and caused it. Nonetheless, figs are out of my diet for the moment. 

 

It would be much easier if they could tell me - "Don't eat any peanut butter!" That I could work with. The not knowing what the culprit is is much harder. They didn't recommend any dietary changes but I'm going to take it easy on things that seem like they might be a problem - popcorn, nuts, figs, and other things I'm sure will be added to the list.

 

So, the next step is Tuesday morning I have an appointment with my regular doctor who will refer me to a surgeon and then we'll see where we go from there.

 

I don't feel like I'm fully recovered from the last surgery, but I can't be wondering when this is going to happen again. So, I'll just have to have this surgery. I've decided 2009 must be my year for body maintenence and fortunately the calendar is about to turn and I'll be good as new by then.

 

It means I won't be able to have the kind of Christmas decorations I love, or host holiday gatherings this year, but I'll just have to have a different kind of Christmas season and I'll love that too.

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better

I am feeling much better and expect to go home tomorrow. I am going to have to have surgery - and sooner rather than later - but this episode is about over with. I have decided that 2009 must be my year for body maintenence. Unfortunately, I will not get to have my usual Patsy-extravaganza of a Christmas season but I'll just have a different Christmas season and 2010 will be a blowout year.

 

I'm reminded again just how important nursing care is in a hospital. If your doctor is competent it all depends on the nursing staff after that. They're the ones actually in charge of your care. Unfortunately, this year I've now been in two different hospitals and can compare. It becomes a crap shoot of sorts of how many exceptional nurses a place has on staff, how many average ones and how many so-so ones. Because it's generally 12 hours at a time you're really stuck if you have a nurse who falls into the latter category.

 

Well, I hope to have more interesting things to discuss soon.

 

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Hospital

I'm in the hospital in Hutchinson. I came in late Monday with a little blockage in a hernia but I'm feeling better. I will probably not have to have emergency surgery, but obviously will have to do the surgery sooner rather than later.

And btw, the NG tube is the season's hottest accessory. I hope to not be in style very soon. (I can only blame the morphine for posting such a thing.)

Mary Ann is doing well in KY. Thanks for your good thoughts.

Patsy
www.patsyterrell.com
sent from mobile device

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Waiting

I'm still waiting to hear the evening report on Mary Ann. Surgery went well. They think they got all the cancer. Your continued good thoughts are appreciated.

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Weekend Ramblings

I've spent the weekend working around the house and have made some progress. That is not to say that things are tidy and orderly, but they're a bit better. I'm not sure exactly what my difficulty is with getting organized and staying that way. I suspect it may be that I have more things than I have room for. When you don't have enough "away," it's hard to put things away.

It was a gorgeous weekend here, and unfortunately I didn't really get to enjoy it, although today Greg and I did go out to the flea market. (Reference the last sentence of the previous paragraph.)

I bought a few old, hand crocheted potholders and doilies, but those were not my "big" purchases. I bought a box of old Christmas ornaments for $2, and a Winart Pottery Teapot for another $2. It's pink with brown on it and a very large teapot. I will try to get a photo soon and post it. From my reading online tonight I understand Winart Pottery operated in Miami, Oklahoma from 1951 to 1972. This is in great shape but I guess I need to find out if it's something people are trying to collect before I start putting boiling water into it. I bought it just to use as a teapot but I'd hate to ruin something that someone would just love to have for a collection. So, I'll check into that a bit.

You may have noticed photos on the blog are harder to come by these days. The reason is not that I've lost interest in doing that, it's because my computer has gotten slow in its old age. Twice now I have been at Best Buy and said, "Okay, I'll take this one..." and they don't have it in stock. At this point I think I should wait until the day after Thanksgiving and see if there are any spectacular bargains. Although that seems a long time for now it's only about seven weeks. Anyway, if you've noticed I haven't been working with the blog as much that's why. It is a real struggle to log into the necessary programs sometimes. Rest assured that as soon as the computer is replaced I will be bombarding the blog with at least one post a day, and sometimes more. This thing has served me well, but it is ready to be retired soon.

I took this photo in Iowa last weekend, outside an Amish bakery. It was a real Amish bakery, with no electric lights. I guess all the baking is done with gas. I live near an Amish community and I respect the ideals, but I have to say I'm always a bit puzzled by these sorts of things. The idea is to remain separate from "the English," as they call the non-Amish. It's hard for me to see how having a retail business guaranteed to draw the very people you supposedly want to keep your distance from fits into that picture. I'm always curious about such things that seem to be complete contradictions to me. I'm sure there's more to it than I understand.

This has been a nice weekend - the first one I've had completely free in a few months. I can't say I've done anything that most folks would find enviable, but I needed to be in my house and quiet and somewhat still. I haven't had much stillness lately, and I need some of that every week. Just like I need some alone time.

The last couple of weeks have been beautiful here, but they're saying later this week it is going to get cold and we might even have some snow. I'm not ready for that yet. I haven't even fully enjoyed the garden yet, and they're talking about snow. The seasons are moving too quickly for me. In fact, the whole world is moving too quickly for me at the moment. I need things to slow down just a little bit so I can fully enjoy and appreciate them.

I talked to Mary Ann yesterday. She goes for her surgery Monday to remove the lung cancer. It will probably be about noon when they start. We're very optimistic - it's a small place and they anticipate they'll be able to remove all of it, but it's always frightening when your loved ones are having any kind of surgery. Your good thoughts are most appreciated.
________________

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All text and photos on this website are copyright Patsy Terrell, unless otherwise noted. All rights reserved. None are to be used without permission. Thank you.

The Days Turn Into Weeks

Life has seemed in fast forward lately. I've been working the regular job, plus doing social networking training on the side, and trying to juggle a number of things happening on the home front, too. This is my first weekend in awhile to be home.

 

I'm hoping this is a very productive weekend because much needs to be done in my house. We have frost warnings tonight so my gardening season may be over. I've been so busy I haven't even been in the backyard in a couple of weeks so I have no idea what's happening out there.

 

This summer has zipped by - not only learning the new job, but having this extra work, which I've been very thankful for. I need to generate as much additional income as possible to pay medical bills. I guess I'm trying to find the balance of how much I can work to pay medical bills without wearing myself out so much I get sick and have more medical bills. Seems like a vicious circle, huh? I'm just thankful I have the option of making extra money doing something I enjoy.

 

I can't believe that fall is here, and Christmas right around the corner. I haven't done a thing to start on holiday preparation. There has been so much to think about lately.

 

On my mind constantly the last few weeks has been my sister-in-law, Mary Ann. She is scheduled for surgery on Monday. I hope you'll keep her in your thoughts and prayers. I haven't had a chance to actually talk to her since they set the surgery date, but hopefully this weekend I'll get the details.

 

Well, off to bed for me. I've had two full weeks of not getting any where near enough sleep - even by my standards - and I'm feeling a serious need for rest.

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Cathedral of the Plains in Victoria Kansas

St. Fidelis Church at Victoria, Kansas, is one of the most sacred places I've ever been. I'm not Catholic, but you can feel power within these walls.

I stopped late Wednesday afternoon on my way home from teaching social networking for the rural tourism folks. Rarely do I go by Victoria without a visit to the Cathedral of the Plains. Rarely do I leave there with dry eyes.

For reasons I don't understand, being inside that church makes me very emotional. I'm overwhelmed with gratitude when I go there.

I always light a candle and say prayers. It seems right.

On this afternoon, the sunlight was streaming in like I'd never seen it before. It was a memorable visit.
________________

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How We Go On

As I was driving yesterday I heard Julia Glass on NPR talking about the book, "Warps The Mind a Little" by John Dufresne. I haven't read the book yet, but her review makes me want to.

But at the end of her piece she said something that jumped out at me, that I had to quickly write down before it escaped my brain.
"All the best novels are about one thing: how we go on."

I started rolling through my mental list of books I love and discovered she has hit the proverbial nail soundly on the proverbial head. How we go on. Yes, it's all about how we go on. How do we go on after love or death or both. How do we go on after embarrassment over things done or said. How do we go on when it seems impossible? How do we go on?

I'll be thinking about this in regard to my own writing.

Glass packs many beautiful phrases into this short piece, but I would be remiss in not quoting the full one regarding how we go on.
"All the best novels are about one thing: how we go on. The characters must survive the fallout of their own cowardice, folly, denial or misguided passion. They squander what matters most, and still they pick up the pieces. I've been there and, clearly, so has John Dufresne."

I've been there, too, but I've never expressed it so eloquently. This is truly an exercise in using the language judiciously. One way we go on is to write. Oh, to hope to use words well when doing so.

If you want to hear the delightful piece, or read an excerpt of the book, go to the NPR site.

Old and New

This has been a day of old and new. I was driving to the west this afternoon as the sun was setting and this scene reminded me of that combination of extremes. Wind turbines are a more common sight on the prairie these days. They're a new way to harness a timeless power.

This morning I went to Radio Kansas to give good wishes to retiring General Manager Dave Horning. Dave hired me to do news at the radio station many years ago, and then gave me a chance to become a PR person. It has been on my mind all day that many of us were brought together in this life because Dave hired us at one time or another. I'm guessing that may be strongly felt by Anthony and Carolyn, who met at the station, who are now raising their four sons in Indiana.

Ken invited me to do an on-air interview with Dave and I wasn't at all prepared, but it was great to be on the air there again. For reasons I can't fully explain, I always feel comfortable holding a microphone. People often me what a great voice I have and I keep thinking I should be in a line of work where I'm using it more, but as of yet I haven't figured out what, exactly, that path is. I'd love to do more voice work. I really enjoy it a great deal.

I'm really happy in my new job and was really happy to be at my old work place, seeing people I used to work with, as well as new folks there. I chatted with Ric a little and Sharon quite a bit. Geralynn and I talked awhile and I said hello to other folks who are working there and who used to work there. I guess I missed Andrea by just a few minutes.

We don't always know what kind of impact we have on other lives - something worth remembering as I go through daily living. Old and new and inbetween all merge together into life.

I went over and shook Dave's hand when I was leaving and said, "Mr. Horning, I hope you throughly enjoy retirement." I don't know that I've called him "Mr. Horning" since I returned the phone call he left on my answering machine about coming out for an interview more than two decades ago, but it seemed appropriate in the circumstance. I hope nothing but wonderful things come his way in retirement.

Geeks On A Saturday Afternoon

What do geeks do on a Saturday afternoon?

They take pictures of themselves in Riverside, Iowa, next to plaques noting the future birthplace of Captain James T. Kirk.

Am I embarrassed?

No. I am not.

Live long and prosper.

________________

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All text and photos on this website are copyright Patsy Terrell, unless otherwise noted. All rights reserved. None are to be used without permission. Thank you.

Pumpkins

You may remember the saga of my pumpkins earlier this summer. Well, first of all, in case there is any confusion, let me tell you this is not one of my pumpkins.

I had my first pumpkin patch this year and it was looking quite wonderful in my backyard until the squash bugs arrived. They came one weekend when I was gone and destroyed my pumpkins before I had returned Sunday evening. I was not a happy camper about it. Frankly, I'm still not.

Before the arrival of the pests, I decided I would enter some pumpkins in the fair. I even did the paperwork online and printed it out. I was all excited. I did not expect to win anything, but I thought it would be fun to see my pumpkins there with the others.

Well, when I was at the state fair, I went and looked at the pumpkins. This was the grand prize winner and it was perfect. I mean, perfect. Beautiful orange color, perfectly curved stem, gorgeous. If somewhere in the back of my mind I had any delusion about one of my pumpkins netting any kind of ribbon, it was quashed. Soundly.

I was glad I had not forced this shame upon the two pumpkins I managed to save from the bugs. They may not be beautiful enough to win a purple ribbon, but I love them just the way they are.

And I'm mighty impressed by this perfect pumpkin. Very impressed.

A Sign of the Times - Worry over Flu

At the K-State booth at the fair, they were letting people take home temporary tattoos, but not applying them because of a danger of spreading disease. It seems the worry over H1N1 continues to grow.

I am planning to get flu shots - the regular one and H1N1 - but I can't say I'm overly worried. Of course, I'm an obsessive hand washer, so I guess you could say I worry all the time.

________________

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All text and photos on this website are copyright Patsy Terrell, unless otherwise noted. All rights reserved. None are to be used without permission. Thank you.

Rituals

It's funny how rituals develop. When you do something the first time, you don't know that it's going to be something repeated, and that it will take on a meaning beyond the experience.

Every year at the Kansas State Fair, we go visit "The Little Man." This automation is at the Women's Christian Temperance Union booth under the grandstand. He moves and the book turns as he does.

I find it completely charming that the book is filled with pages made from cut up magazines and handwritten messages - all about the dangers of drugs and alcohol. It wouldn't be the same if I went one year and they had employed a graphic designer to make everything slick and fancy. I like it just the way it is. It's perfect.

That's one of the things about rituals. We don't want them messed with. At all.

Whenever we're at the grandstand during the fair, we always meet at "The Little Man." We make a trip up to visit him, even if we're not going to the grandstand for any other reason.

We were shocked to learn that Trish had never seen him. She has been to the fair every year of her life, and not seen him. Isn't it interesting how something that's meaningful to some of us has completely escaped her notice? I insisted on taking her photo with him. Maybe this will just be the first of many such photos.

What is his hold over us? Well, we joke about that. First of all, it's just cool that an automation who's been around many more decades than me is still working, raising his eyebrows, ringing his bell and pointing at the pages as they turn. He has truly withstood the test of time.

Beyond that, there's a comfort in returning to the same place and seeing the same scene each time. What's near that booth changes - this year it was a mix of tie dye garments and Jesus Sandals (their phrasing, not mine) - but The Little Man is in the same spot, doing the same thing, year after year. It's something you can count on. Something that makes your world feel a little more normal.

Sometimes we all need a little normal and that's part of the power of ritual.

Social Networking for Rural Tourism

I spent last night in Winfield, Kansas, southeast of Wichita. I was there to teach two classes today about social networking. These are groups of rural tourism folks, and this is a project of the Kansas Sampler Foundation.

I arrived too late last night to do any exploring, but couldn't resist this photo of the Union State Bank. I loved the sign and the graceful archways. Unfortunately, I didn't get a chance to explore today either because I needed to head back after class. I hadn't been to Winfield in awhile and need to get back there soon. They just completed the Walnut Valley Festival that draws people from all over the world.

In these classes I teach folks blogging, facebook and twitter. Do I think those will always be THE things? No. But I know technology never goes backward and we're going to be using something. And if people know how to use these things, they can transfer that knowledge to whatever the next thing is.

I never feel like I cover everything sufficiently, but at least people get some idea of how it works and can experiment with it on their own later. In every class some folks are brand new to these concepts and some are further down the road. Regardless of where people are, there is potential. Great potential.

I stress to them that the lives we're leading on the prairie are exotic to others, just as a life in downtown Cairo would be exotic to us. And I encourage them to be out there promoting their message, whatever that is.

I'm thrilled to be part of this project for numerous reasons.
1. I believe there is tremendous potential in using social networking to promote rural tourism. It's free. It's available. It's global.
2. The Kansas Sampler Foundation is an amazing organization, and unlike anything I know of anywhere else. If you're looking for quality, that's it. I'm flattered they asked me to participate. It's the equivalent of the Good Housekeeping Stamp of Approval.
3. It's wonderful to meet the folks in these classes. Many of them are from very small communities and are doing incredible things.
4. I want other people to understand the thrill of exploring rural areas. There's nothing else quite like it. I think social networking can help people understand what there is out there, just waiting to be discovered.

If you've never taken the time to explore in your own area, do it this weekend. I promise it's rewarding. Get in your car, drive to a rural area, start talking to people, and find out what's unique about it. Then tell others. Buy some stamps at the local post office (small post offices are always in danger of closing - buying stamps there helps their bottom line), pick up some basics at the local grocery store (did you know grocery stores have to buy $10,000 worth of product weekly to get delivery? help those folks who are keeping the stores open in small communities), shop, eat, get gas, and otherwise make an impact. Trust me, your visit - one person or one group - can make a difference. Do it.

When these classes are finished and everyone has their pages up and running I'm going to print a list here, so you can see what folks in rural Kansas are doing. You'll be amazed.
________________

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All text and photos on this website are copyright Patsy Terrell, unless otherwise noted. All rights reserved. None are to be used without permission. Thank you.

Things we come to later in life

I was thinking this afternoon about things I've come to later in life. I know some would say I'm not old enough to have any 'later' yet, but I have learned some things in these years. I'm guessing in another decade I will feel like I've come to more things. There's something about those things we come to on our own, that aren't taught to us, but that we learn through our own brand of reasoning. Those things are more deeply held but less ingrained. Maybe because it was a process to come to them we reaize othes could arrive at another place.

I'm know as the question person in my circle and I think this is an insightful question - what have you come to on your own?

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The Family You Make For Yourself

The other night I had something on television and heard the phrase, "the family you make for yourself." It jumped out at me at the time and I'm still thinking about it a week or so later. Of course, it's not a concept unique to that show, but for some reason it struck me then.

 

I'm blessed to have a wonderful family I was born into, and I've been incredibly fortunate with the family I've made for myself. I've always been choosy about who is in my life. I think because I witnessed from a young age how much that impacts your life and the lives of those around you. Everything has a ripple effect. If your world is full of people who thrive on drama you will never have a moment's peace. If your world is full of people who are overly cautious about everything you will rarely have a moment of adventure. It's all about finding the mix that suits you. I like some adventure but I can do without much drama.

 

I thought about how much others were affected by my surgery. Of course, there was nothing I could do about it, but I thought about it nonetheless. While it was hard to think I was making life difficult for those around me, it was a great comfort to have those who matter to me nearby - in person, by phone, by note, by any means. It was a genuine comfort.

 

When one is on the other side of that equation there's something very special about that. It's good to know your presence or skill or attention is needed - that you are needed - that you have something positive to offer to the situation. Often there's not much you can actually do, but the mere fact that you're willing to do anything that arises says something about the relationship you have. Even if you are not called on that particular time, you know you are part of a family that has been "made" and it's a comfort - more to you than the person in "need" sometimes.

 

Ultimately, we are all part of families people have made for themselves. Sometimes that's the result of marriage or childbirth, sometimes association, sometimes friendship that goes beyond "friend." However it happens, it's these bonds that hold our lives together, our communities together, and our societies together.

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How Quickly We Acclimate

I was thinking today how quickly we acclimate to new situations and conditions. It's really quite amazing. Something in our brains just automatically accepts our "new normal." Of course, this only works with small things.

 

A funny one I've noted lately about myself is handwashing. I'm a bit of an obsessive handwasher and at the Cosmosphere the soap and water are automatic. Although I've only been there a couple of months, I find myself already waiting for other soap dispensers, which require some manual intervention, to do their thing. Eventually it occurs to me that I will have to do more than just stand there.

 

The same thing happens when we drive a different car. You find yourself automatically reaching for the gear shift wherever yours is. But, within a short time, you're comfortable with the other car.

 

It's quite an amazing feat that our brains shift gears like that so quickly in so many ways. It also points out how many things we do on autopilot. Our brain filters what we need to pay attention to and what we don't. In fact, that's actually the ability that we lose as we age - the ability to filter easily - not the ability to take in information.

 

We humans are amazing creatures.

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A Girl's Gotta Have A Good Pen

I've had a thing about pens and paper since I was very, very young. I sometimes wonder if my desire to write was about being able to use the pens and paper. It's yet another chicken/egg question, I suppose. Of course, I still write now with the computer so I guess that's not all of it.

I love pretty colors of ink. It can be a struggle to find a generic blue or black pen in my house or on my desk at work. Greg one time had to sign a legal document and in frustration asked, "Do you have just a blue ink pen?" The closest I could come was a blue metallic one. It sparkles on the page, what can I say?

Michele recently brought me a little present of some uniballs that are clear barrels but the ink is blue, purple or pink. Very cool. I am a pen expert and know the differences in how different ones feel on different papers. It's all part of the writing experience to me.

The writing we do with pen and paper is different than what we do on the computer. When I need to puzzle out a problem of some sort I always turn to paper. That's where I do my creative writing by and large. It's more organic, I think, and gives a different connection.
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Today

Yesterday I made a pact with myself - you know how those go - "if this isn't better by tomorrow..." Well, this morning when I woke up my eyes were so goopy I could hardly see, meaning it was definitely not better, and I needed to see the eye doctor. It's just allergies - nothing major. I have "allergy bumps," which was determined by turning my lid inside out so he could look at it - a little something I'd not had the pleasure of until today.

 

But this morning when I was getting ready I thought, "hmmm... if I have an infection I could be transferring it with the mascara..." so no makeup for me today. Not that it wouldn't have been an icky mess anyway.

 

Teresa and I had plans for lunch today at Roy's. And, so, of course, it's TODAY when I'm wearing no makeup that the Cox guy asks to interview me about my Cox service. Of course, today. Naturally. I've only eaten at Roy's about a million and four times but it's TODAY when I have no makeup on that Cox wants to interview me. Today.

 

Do I have the common sense to say no? Of course not. I blunder right on through. No makeup and all. I can only hope it will be on the cutting room floor or whatever the modern equivelant of that is. The digital wastebasket I suppose. Although I did work "brisket" into one of my answers, which doesn't exactly flow with high-speed internet and cable.

 

Teresa, unlike me, was fabulous... sporting her freshly waxed eyebrows and all.

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Technology

I love technology in its various forms. Obviously it dramatically impacts my world every day. I was thinking today how satisfied I am with many different kinds of technology. I love my cell phone, although I find I actually talk on it very little other than to a few friends. But I use it to access email and text and look up phone numbers and check the weather and on and on. I'm considering a phone change and I realize that whatever it does I will use. And no matter how much that is I will want more. It's not because I'm greedy but because I always see more possibilities. I love possibilities.

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Sacred Trust Violated

A journalist has two sacred trusts between him and his source:

1. Always protect your source - journalists have gone to jail instead of giving up their sources.

2. Always respect "off the record."

 

These two things allow journalists to build respect and trust between them and newsmakers. It's how the system works. It's journalism 101. Actually, it's journalism from freshman high school level. Okay, make that seventh grade.

 

When Terry Moran put Obama's comment about Kanye West being a jackass on twitter he violated that sacred trust. And a "journalist" who's willing to do that has no respect for the system and will do anything. I cannot imagine a newsmaker ever trusting him again. If I were a newsmaker I wouldn't even tell him what time it was.

 

I won't even comment on his "opinion" added to the tweet. Surely we all know that real journalists don't give opinion. They give facts. If you want to be a commentator, get a show for that or get a blog. If you want to be a journalist, there are some rules to follow. See numbers 1 and 2 above for starters.

 

It's not that I disagree with Obama's assessment, and I doubt too many are going to jump to the defense of Kanye West because most people think grown men shouldn't be terribly rude to teenagers at all, much less in front of millions of people. Frankly, I like having a president who feels like the rest of us do about such a thing instead of having some politically correct answer.

 

But I really don't want to live in a world where the way I found this out is accepted practice. I'm not one to talk a whole lot about the constitution, but there's a reason it is written for freedom of the press. Without respect for these rules there can be no free press, and without that there can be no free people.

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Being Civil

I didn't see it when it happened, but I've seen it since. What was Kanye West thinking? In case you don't know, he interrupted teenager Taylor Swift's acceptance speech at the VMA awards to point out that Beyonce had one of the best videos ever.

 

They cut to Beyonce who is shocked. You don't have to be too good of a lip reader to see that this is not a compliment she is comfortable with.

 

She was very gracious by inviting Taylor Swift back on stage to give her acceptance speech when Beyonce won an award later. Not that there's any lesson one learns that tells you how to act in such a situation, but good grief, Taylor Swift is a teenager. She's navigating some difficult waters as it is. Apparently Kanye West thought he'd just try to make things awkward for her, Beyonce and everyone else in the auditorium - and who is seeing it later.

 

I realize there are far bigger issues in the world, but this is a microcosm of one thing that's very wrong in our world - we have forgotten how to be civil. I'm not saying we all have to be 100% appropriate in every circumstance - that's just not going to happen - we all make mistakes.

 

And it's a matter of how big a microphone we have. Unfortunately, Kayne West had a big microphone. Of course, he stole it from Taylor Swift.

 

This comes right after Joe Wilson's outburst of "you lie" during the president's speech. I do not believe that the president deserves respect just because he's the president. I believe respect has to be earned. But that sort of action is inappropriate in that circumstance. I would have felt the same if someone had yelled "you lie" at President Bush when he was speaking. It's not the right environment or method to express your feelings. Wilson was out of line, as was evidenced by the reaction of others at that gathering who were horrified.

 

It was the same reaction at the Video Music Awards and at the President's Speech. People understand when things go too far. But some people, namely Wilson and West in these cases, didn't get it beforehand. Have we lost the ability to predict that uncomfortable situation?

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Weekend Going, Going, Gone

I have spent most of the weekend engaged in fair-related activities, although I was on the fair grounds very little today.

Susan and I met for lunch and to catch up. It was great to visit with her. I was with her until about 3, then ran over to Trish's briefly. I did manage to do a little work at home before leaving for the Huey Lewis concert at the fair. Very little, but a little.

Trish and I met there and I'm glad I went. It was fun. Those guys can really sing, which they proved by doing a couple of numbers acapella. They also handled a concert they way I like - no opening act and don't be too chatty between numbers.

The one thing they all do that drives me nuts is the fake encore thing. It's fake because we all know they're coming back. I'm not sure why groups can't play until they're done and then be done. I don't get the point of it, but apparently I'm the only one who doesn't get it.

The weekend has been too fast. This will be a busy week for me at work and I'm on the road one day so there's much to accomplish.

(Greg took this photo of me Saturday night)

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All text and photos on this website are copyright Patsy Terrell, unless otherwise noted. All rights reserved. None are to be used without permission. Thank you.

A Day at the State Fair

I spent most of the day at the Kansas State Fair. We're so fortunate to have it happening right in town. The party comes to us and we just have to drive a few blocks to join in.

 

Greg and I went to a concert tonight and he took some nice photos. I'm a little weary to work on them tonight, but hopefully will get them posted tomorrow.

 

Of course, tomorrow I also need to work on the house because I pretty much played all day today. I am having lunch with Susan tomorrow. She and Jim are working the fair and I happened to plop down on a bench across from them to put some stuff in my backpack and Susan saw me. It will be good to catch up with her a bit.

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The Days Zip By

This week has zipped by and I feel like I didn't accomplish very much during it. In fact, I never even got my to-do list rewritten, which was going to be the first thing I did Tuesday morning. But, my days just didn't go as I had planned, and it never happened.

At home I've created a huge mess working on the office. I'm hoping this weekend I can make some headway on that. Next weekend I'll have company for the fair so people do need to be able to walk through my house, which at the moment is not really possible. There are paths in the dining room where I pulled stuff from the office. I'm going to aim higher than just pathways.

I was industrious enough to mow the front yard tonight. It got dark before I got the back done but I didn't want to be the person who's front yard was a mess when we're expecting so many visitors in town. I guess that's my civic duty for the day.

Today is the first day of the Kansas State Fair. Generally I go the first night but not this year. But, tomorrow. I love the Fair. People whine about the traffic and the people and the noise and the dust and the whatever. I love it. Not all those things in particular, but there's plenty to love.

The fair is a great example of taking advantage of what's in your own backyard. It's the largest event in the state and it happens in the town where I live. All I have to do is just drive a couple of miles and walk in. It's not uncommon to run across people who live in Hutchinson and never go to the fair. The biggest event in the state is happening, people are coming from all over for it, and people here won't drive five minutes to go.

No doubt tomorrow I'll be looking at jars of jelly with blue ribbons and picking up whatever this year's favorite freebie is. Expect to see photos.

Do something fun in your own backyard this weekend.
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All text and photos on this website are copyright Patsy Terrell, unless otherwise noted. All rights reserved. None are to be used without permission. Thank you.

Ace Jackalope is More Famous

Ace Jackalope is famous... well, more famous. Check him out on page 30 of this issue of Hutchinson Magazine.

Oh, and Greg is there too.

Follow the lope at http://www.thelope.com/.


________________

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Check www.patsyterrell.com for the blog, art, cooking and more. Find me on Facebook, Twitter, Plurk and other social media sites of your choosing.

All text and photos on this website are copyright Patsy Terrell, unless otherwise noted. All rights reserved. None are to be used without permission. Thank you.

Warrior For Family Values

The representative in California who was bragging about making love with his girlfriend describes himself as a warrior for family values. I wonder if he spanks his wife, too, or just the girlfriends.

 

I'm so tired of people who are hypocrites. While I might not share all of the traditional "family values," I do respect the few people I see who believe that way and actually live it.

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