Visioning Collages

This was our retreat group that worked on the visioning process this past weekend. A couple of people weren't able to come, unfortunately, but the four of us had a good time.

In the porch swing are Danielle on the left and Jade on the right. In the back are me on the left and Teresa on the right. Teresa and I have done this process before, but it was new to Danielle and Jade.



We met in Ramona, which is a great place for a retreat. It's a quiet town of fewer than 100 people.



The concept is to start with a focus phrase and create a collage that illustrates the phrase. Everyone was generous enough to allow me to share their finished products here on the blog, as well as their statements.

Jade started Saturday with yoga, as she does every day.



We were pretty relaxed, and took some time to enjoy the front porch before getting down to business.





But we went inside to ourstacks of magazines, scissors and glue. I am sharing some photos of every one working away.









Teresa made a delicious lunch of salad for us.



It was nice to take the time to eat together. The other time I did this process with a group we never had time to do that, or sit on the porch, or do anything except work on the projcet at hand.

















Jade was making fast process so I had to take a look.



I was having some difficulty with the process this time. You can see my pile of pictures and words here, many of which didn't make the cut to the final product.



There's a point where everything is chaos. We all had that feeling at one time or another.









Jade was the first one finished, and was pleased with her collage.







Danielle was the next one finished.



She even had time to do both sides, as you'll see below.



Teresa and I were still working, although I finished later that afternoon. Teresa was still finishing details for awhile.



Jade's focus statement was "Connecting with Joy."





Danielle's was "Living Free." She did both sides of her posterboard.





My statement was "My Ideal Life."





Teresa's was "It's Cleaned Up."





All in all it was a very productive weekend. I have my collage on the wall in my home office where I can see it every day. I'm so appreciative of the women who undertook this journey with me.

Messenger

This morning before we talked about our vision collages, Danille and I went out for a walk. We were greeted with this sight. Some believe these birds to be messengers. I'm not sure if that's why we were graced with his presence or not, but it was a beautiful sight.

Collage process

We are working on our vision collages. The process is fun but daunting at times.

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Lighting candles

Whenever I find myself in a Catholic church I light candles. I'm not catholic but try to respect all faith traditions and this is a ritual I love. Its quite beautiful. Yesterday and today I lit candles for each of us in this process, another for my best friend, another for those I love and one last one for those I've not loved as well as I should have. I do love the ideas behind lighting candles.

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Faith

I try to respect different faith traditions and although I'm not Catholic I really appreciate the amazing buildings dotted across the landscape that house the worshippers.

Whatever your faith path I think its positive to see what others do. Wisdom comes in many forms. Something that continues to be made real to me.

Friends are on their way now to join me in a visioning process which we will undertake tomorrow. I'm certain it will be enlightening.

Visioning

The retreat is going well so far. Reading and writing a lot. Tomorrow I will engage with friends who are doing the same.

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Prairie Skies

The prairie skies are cooperating today with my wish to be in retreat. A cold rain makes contemplation the order of the day and night.

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Retreat

The next few days I will not be online very much, so I expect blogging will be sparse. I genuinely appreciate that people are concerned about me on the rare occasions I'm away from the blog for a day or so. Beginning Wednesday after work, I am in retreat through the weekend, and I will not be inviting the world wide web along as this will require quiet, focused attention.

I feel it necessary to have these times when we step back and take stock of our lives, and decide where we want to go next. I find it inspiring to gather with friends and engage in activities that lead to contemplation. This is the time I've set aside for that this spring.

People often comment to me that I do so many different things and I never seem to be tired or overwhelmed. In reality I experience both of those things. And there are dozens of things I can think of that I could and maybe "should" be doing the next few days. But, instead, I set aside this time some weeks ago and it is sacrosanct.

I will be in retreat, visioning a new approach to life, bonding with people in a meaningful way, and participating in a group that will have its ups and downs but will create a moment, a space, an experience, that has never before existed. And that is extraordinary. I will bear witness to the journeys of others, and they will do the same for me.

Six of us have devoted ourselves to this process and we will be changed on the other side of it. I'm fortunate to know people who are willing to accept such a challenge without hesitation, who will say "yes" to taking the road less travelled. I am blessed.

Quote of the day

"Children almost broken by the world are the adults most likely to change it." Frank Warren

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Facebook and Privacy

There's much discussion these days about Facebook and privacy.

News Flash: If you're reading this, you're online, and you've already given up your privacy.

Okay... lets move on to a more interesting topic.

Not ready yet? Of course not. Because people love to discuss their privacy concerns in completely non-private forums. If you're concerned about privacy why would you ever, in a million bazillion gazillion years, interact with something called the WORLD WIDE web? Why would you ever have made that decision?

Look, here's the deal, you gave up privacy when you got an email. Wait, when you got a cell phone. Wait, it was when you got a landline. Wait, it was when you bought a house. Wait, it was when you got a driver's license. Wait, it was when you got a birth certificate. Regardless of when it was, that ship has sailed. Let it go. Stop worrying about it. What are you doing that you need so much privacy for, anyway?

News Flash Deux: You do not have to be on Facebook. If you really believe it's the devil just deactivate your account, have it deleted, and move on down the digital highway. Actually, you'll need to shut off your computer and never connect to the internet again. Absolutely no wireless signal. You also need to get rid of your cell phone. No more ordering from Amazon and no more using GPS.

If you need this much privacy, I'd suggest you stake out a small cabin in the wilderness somewhere and work on your manifesto. You'll need to do that off the grid, of course, because you can't have privacy and have electricity, gas service, cable television, a credit card, health insurance, social security, a phone, or a few thousand other things most of us think are pretty nifty. Of course, if privacy is this much of a concern, you certainly won't want any medical care, anyway, so I guess health insurance is not an issue. Please, no magazine subscriptions or checking accounts.

But one of the fabulous things about living in the United States is that you have the free will to have all the privacy you want. But lets not pretend you're that concerned about it when you're zapping emails hither and yon every day, chatting on your cell phone and - heaven forbid - using a garage door opener that has a radio signal in it that could be picked up by... well... by... gosh... who knows... maybe the guy down the street. But, not to worry, he's probably absorbed in Facebook and won't notice. See how Facebook just protected your privacy?

Participating in Life

A friend and I were talking this weekend and she was saying that she admired the way I was "participating" in life and she felt like she was a "spectator." Her perception, which I've heard from others, is that I do "cool stuff" and go to "interesting lectures" and have "neat events" at my home. She mentioned, as others have, that I have "a gift" for gathering people together.

She has asked if I would give some presentations about how to be a participant in life instead of letting life just happen. While I love to do speeches, I'm unclear what information I need to share in this case.

All of these things are natural to me. Because new thoughts inspire me I seek them out, and make things like lectures a priority. When I have an idea for an event I just pick a date and ask some friends to join me.

Because it all seems very straightforward to me, I cannot identify what would be beneficial to others. I asked her, "what do I know that others don't know?" She's thinking that over. Obviously, if I'm going to give a presentation on the topic I need to know what to cover. If you have any thoughts on the subject I'd be delighted to hear them.

Old Friends, New Friends, Christmas Cactus and Tracing Paper

Tonight my friend, Kristine, took me to El Dorado Lake to meet her friend, Vicki, who has a fabulous house with amazing vistas. This Christmas cactus was blooming and I couldn't resist a photo as dusk fell and the brilliant blue out the window was framing the red blooms. Of course, a couple of kitty cats asleep in a window seat only adds to almost any scene.

Vicki took us on a tour of her home, including her creative space where she sews and works on other projects.



These neatly organized buttons and notions caught my eye.



Vicki and Kristine have birthdays that are close to each other on the calendar, and this was their birthday gathering. It was so nice of them to include me. Vicki had gotten Kristine's favorite - angel food cake and strawberries. It was delicious.

It was a nice end to a full Saturday that started at the Farmer's Market.



Today was the opening day and it was hopping. I didn't go until after 11 and it was still busy. It occurred to me it might be a good place to set up an art booth on occasion. Don't know that I'll ever do it or if it even fits their criteria, but it could be cool.



After the Farmer's Market I met Greg at Roy's. I can't go as often these days now that I work in an office with other folks who might not always enjoy the smell of barbecue all afternoon. So, it was good to correct my Roy's deficiency today.



After Roy's I made a stop at the Et Cetera shop where I got some treasures. I was more than a little excited to find the tracing paper on the right here. It has been used, so has little indentations from the tracing wheel on it. I know it will be a great addition to an art project. A little paint on it to accentuate the indentations will do wonders.

While I was still excited about that find, I noticed another package, which is an even older one. Grand total for both purchases was 30 cents. That wasn't all I bought there today, of course.

It has been a very nice Saturday. Nothing on my "have to do" list got done, but I had a great time.

Beauty in the Day

Last week (or was it the week before) when I was driving through the Flint Hills I noticed these beautiful clouds. The photo doesn't do them justice. They were different shades of blue - perfect, clear, beautiful blue.

The prairie has a beauty that is unlike any other kind of beauty. It's more subtle, some might say more stark. I'm from a part of the country where beauty is very evident. Everywhere you look there are green trees, rolling hills and a lush landscape. The prairie does not give up its secrets so easily.

For the past few years the message has come to me multiple times in different ways that I need more beauty in my life. I'm never sure what to do with that. I try to pay attention to beauty around me. But it seems the universe is telling me there's more to appreciate than I've noted.

The days can slip by so quickly, with little time for noticing the beauty around us. Now I spend my work days in a windowless office, so the beauty of the outside world is not available to me during much of the day. But of course there's beauty beyond the natural world.

Earlier this week I spent a day outdoors with campers from one of the summer camps at work. These were eighth graders from El Paso, and they gave me a good feeling about the future. They were kind and helpful to each other, self-assured, intelligent and delightful company. I took photos and video of them doing their various activities.



Today I made a quick trip to Wichita to be on one of the midday news shows, talking about the Coffee next week, which I'm sorry to say I'll miss because I'll be out of the office.

I'm going away for a retreat. I need it. There is much going on in my life and I need to do some sorting and prioritizing.

Quote of the Day

All changes,
even the most longed for,
have their melancholy;
for what we leave behind us
is a part of ourselves;
we must die to one life
before we can enter another.
~Anatole France

I find myself thinking a lot about change these days. In everyone's life comes a time when we have to decide if we're going to make changes or if we're going to remain in the pattern we've established. I find myself at one of those crossroads. I'm not sure what the answer is. Yet. But I will.

Story Telling

"There have been great societies that did not use the wheel, but there have been no societies that did not tell stories."
---Ursula K. Le Guin

I'm continually reminded of how important it is to tell stories. They inspire us, teach us and warn us.

This leads to the questions, "what stories do I need to tell" and "what stories do I need to help others tell?"

Unfortunately I don't have the answers to those questions yet.

White Roses and Remembrances

Nine years ago Mama's life was slipping away. When I left the hospital late that afternoon I knew the end was near. My brother, Jim, called the next morning to tell us she was dying and if we wanted to be there we needed to go. I was already on my way out the door even before the phone rang.

That 30 minute drive to the hospital was long. Jim met us in the parking lot and as I got out of the car and walked toward him he shook his head and raised his hands in a gesture of helplessness. I knew. We hugged and cried, there in the parking lot of Western Baptist Hospital in Paducah, Kentucky, while the barely dawn sky grew lighter by the moment.

We went up to the room and looked at her body, the shell that was left, the face that had smiled on us thousands of times and never would again. I was thankful she had not lingered in the state she had been in the last few days, but pained that I would never again have the feeling of a mother's love except in memories.

Fortunately, I had been storing away memories for a very long time. When I would visit I would lie in bed in the mornings and listen to the sounds of my mother's life. Yes, I was sleeping in. But I was also fiercely making mental notes so I could recall the feeling of being surrounded by a mother's love because I knew once my mother was gone I would never have it again. We only get one chance at that feeling.

Mama was always my rock. She loved me like no one else ever has or ever will. You only have one mother. I knew, no matter what, that someone in the world loved me. I knew I was a priority to someone as long as she lived. And I knew once she was gone that feeling would be too, but I relish the memories of it.

And I remember... the sound of the freshly shelled peas my mom had picked from the garden that morning falling into the plastic bowl nestled in her lap as her thumb pried them out of their shell... the taste of fresh blackberries she had picked just for me... the selfless way she accepted whatever I wanted to try, even if it didn't make sense to her. I remember the sound of her voice, calling my name, and my reaction to it. Sometimes I still hear it.

Mama died at 4:32 a.m. on Friday morning, May 11, 2001. We buried her two days later, on a beautiful Mother's Day. She had one last mother's day corsage made with three white roses, one for each of her children.

When I was a girl and we would go to church on Mother's Day we would pick roses from the yard to wear. Red if your mother is living and white if she's not. I've never worn one with white roses, but I did plant a white rose bush in the front flower bed of the house I bought later that same year I lost my mother. It has bloomed every year in time for Mother's Day.

I'm not a mother, and I have no mother, so Mother's Day is sometimes hard for me. Depending on how the dates fall there is a series of days that is difficult surrounding her death and funeral. I try to keep busy, but leave time for remembrance on her birthday, April 24, on through this time.

It's a delicate balance and falling into the abyss of despair is an ever present danger. I can be sent over the edge by a harsh word from someone or a slight someone doesn't even know they're delivering, and today was a hard day in that regard. We never know another person's pain.

Sometimes what we all want is to be heard, to be acknowledged, to know that we are accepted even with our pain. That despite the fact that we are weakened by the pain that people will still listen to us and take us seriously. But not every day offers that, and today certainly didn't.

But one of the greatest gifts Mama gave me was teaching me to be happy. It's just not today, but I'll be happy again.

Alice Cooper

We went to see Alice Cooper and Rob Zombie tonight in Wichita. I was the recipient of a ticket that was going to go to waste. I always enjoy Alice. I know, it's not exactly the sort of thing you'd expect from me, but he really puts on a show and I appreciate the extra effort.



Of course, some of Alice's bits are long time favorites and he doesn't disappoint.



Rob Zombie has one of the more interesting stage shows I've seen. I don't have any good photos from the Zombie portion because the lighting was not something my camera liked, so we'll have to make do with Alice-only photos.

Art Show a Success

The Art Show today was a huge success. I really enjoyed visiting with folks and talking about my art process.

A little after 6 a.m. I had everything piled on the sidewalk, thinking I needed to turn it into an art show booth.

I'm so thankful to Pam for loaning me her tent. I wouldn't have done the show otherwise, and would have missed out on today's fun. And to be thinking a Saturday that started at 5:07 a.m. with the alarm is still fun at 10:30 p.m. is no easy feat.

I had some paintings and also some jewelry. I had hoped to have more pix, but I never had time to take any.



There were some memorable moments:
1. A woman who just loved my favorite piece and talked to me for a long time about how my artist's sensability was so evident in the work. I didn't even know I had an artist's sensability so that was an enlightening conversation to say the least.

2. I heard the following words about my work - "interesting," "vivid," "unusual" different," - most people really loved it

3. One man did walk up and look at my work and say, "that's weird." I wasn't sure how to respond so I went with "thank you." He then pointed at a large piece with his walking stick and leaned over and said, "that's REALLY weird." I responded, "thank you very much." I wasn't sure what else to say to that.

4. A young girl about 8 or 9 who bought a journal. She had looked at them earlier, and picked out two she liked. When she came back to get one, one of her favorites was gone, but she got the other and paid for it with her own money. I thought it was so neat that she was using her own money on a piece of art instead of something more typical for a young girl. Very cool. Obviously some great parenting there. In fact, she bought the blue one visible on the left side of the table in the wicker basket.



5. A woman who talked to me for a long time and the art and encouraged me to put my stuff on etsy. I've had an account since they first started (2007?) but I've never used it. I will. Really I will. Honest. She's about the 10th person to tell me I should be doing it.

6. I had a piece that was designed for a sewing room - included pattern pieces and some vintage ribbon. I thought it would sell very quickly but I still had it at the end of the day. A lady came by after the show was officially closed and we were talking and she bought it saying she had a purple sewing room. The board was painted purple. I guess it hadn't sold because it was meant for her. Cool how that worked out.

7. A young lady probably in her teens named Tammy who was with some friends and bought a piece. One of her friends asked, "Is this your first art purchase?" Very excitedly she said, "Yes! It is! It's so great!" I applauded their interest in supporting the arts at such a young age. Then Tammy asked if I would sign the back of her piece. Of course, I was thrilled to do it and asked if she wanted me to sign it to her. "Oh, yes, that would be terrific!" she said. So, I wrote a note to her on the back and signed it. A definite highlight of the day for me.

My friend, Jocelyn, who's an exceptional artist has always told me she likes shows partially because she likes to talk to people who like her stuff. I get that now. It's fun.

I talked to a lot of folks about how I do things. It was obvious many of them were just wanting info to do things themselves, but I decided I was just going to be generous and share. There's enough art love for everyone in the world who wants to create.

A couple of people from work stopped by, which was fun. I'm not sure any of them had seen any of my artwork. If they thought it was "really weird" they kept it to themselves, or at least didn't say it to my face.

It was great to visit with lots of folks I know who were there for the show. Really cool to connect that way.

All in all it was a really neat day. I had intended to take photos of all the pieces, so I'd have a record of them, but I never got a chance to do that. So, I'll just have to think of it like I think of mail art and let it go out into the world. I hope they all like their new homes and their new keepers enjoy them.