Weather Whining

For days I've been hearing the weekend weather forecast of snow, cold, and - in general - the sky is falling. So this morning I bundle up and do things I just have to do - like wrestle the recycling bin up to the house. Outside things. Cold things. I shop. I run errands.

At my last stop I come out to discover the sun is shining, the wind has died and it's quite pleasant. I didn't even wear a coat while unloading the car.

Would have been nice for someone to mention this afternoon was going to be early spring-like. I would have waited to do those unpleasant outdoor tasks, instead of rushing to get them done this morning.

I'm not sure if my fingers will ever be warm again. Perhaps I should go put them in a patch of sunshine. The sunshine I'm not supposed to be seeing. That sunshine.

Irony

Yesterday when I got the mail as soon as I got home I found my $100 rebate check from Sprint for the EVO I bought in November. I came in and proceeded to do some things around the house. One of the things I did was put some laundry in to wash. Unfortunately, I did that without taking said EVO out of the pocket.

So, when I realize this - after it has gone through a full wash cycle - it is too late to salvage it. It's dead. Very dead.

This morning I called Sprint and spoke to the manager locally to ask if he had any advice for me. He suggested putting it in rice, which I had already done. He asked what happened and I said, "uhhh... is this the part where I'm supposed to lie to you about what I did?" We both laughed and then I told him the story.

Fortunately, I have insurance on the phone and I'll have a new one in a few days. Deductible on the insurance? $100. How can you not love the irony of that?

I'm very displeased with myself. In all the years I've had a cell phone I've never had to use the insurance. But, fortunately, I had it on this phone because it would cost a lot more to replace without it.

They very kindly helped me get an old phone operating. I sold them my last phone in November when I got the EVO. So, I had to go back to the phone I had before that. I feel like I'm in the dark ages, although when I got it, it was quite wonderful. But, I can talk on the phone and read email (with effort) but answering is not easily done. Some letters on this keyboard don't work - like "w," which made telling people I was in Wichita this afternoon somewhat difficult.

Overall, it's a blip. People have far, far, far worse problems. I was just stupid and it is costing me $100. Being stupid sometimes costs us far more than that so I'll just be thankful I squeaked by with nothing more than an outlay of cash.

But, with that in mind, I'd best go write something someone will pay me for!

Choices and Happiness

I've been unable to get into blogger for awhile. But, I haven't had anything earth shattering to write about anyway, so I suppose it's no great loss. I'm guessing you're not sitting by your computer waiting for my blog posts to pop up anyway.

The year is off to a busy start. I've got three freelance articles due in the next couple of weeks, and a new social media client. That's all good news. If I could just find a few more hours in every day that would be incredibly helpful. Work is also fun right now because I'm planning a neat event for the opening of a Snoopy exhibit on February 12.

I've been doing some after-Christmas shopping. You probably know I'm being very frugal these days, but I so so so so so love after-Christmas shopping. I set aside a sum of money to "play" with in that regard. Not as much as I usually have, but enough to enjoy.

Everyone cares about different things when it comes to money and this is something that gives me a tremendous amount of joy. I need more joy in my life - if it comes in the form of glitter-covered ornaments or nice perfume or great stationery. Some people care about designer clothes and some about fancy cars. I'd rather buy my clothes on clearance and be able to have Christmas ornaments.

I realize that makes sense to very few people. After all, one of those things is a daily need and one a yearly desire. And it's not as if I'm lacking in Christmas ornaments. I have thousands. But, nonetheless, it's what makes me happy.

One of my mother's greatest gifts to me was teaching me to be happy. Talk about something that's a daily thing - that's it. Being happy. We now know that people have a "set point" of happiness but it accounts for only about half of their happiness level. People can, indeed, choose their happiness level. The trick is that for some people happiness is natural and for others it's a learned behavior.

I don't know which it is for me, but my mother was insistent that I should do the things that made me happy as long as they weren't hurting anyone else. That is excellent training for life. And part of the reason I own a few hundred more Christmas ornaments today than I did a week ago. It doesn't hurt anyone for me to have ornaments, and I'd rather give up something else.

All of life is about choices, it seems. I decided  to give up other delights to have a snowman, Santa, and pretty, sparkly things. It's not the choice I would urge for everyone, and I will have to turn down other fun for this, but it's a good choice for me.

Quote of the Day

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home.
           Edith Sitwell


We've been having some unseasonably warm days. I feel as though spring is right around the corner, although winter is barely begun. However, the forecast for the weekend predicts I may be quickly cured of that misconception.

I have a number of projects due in the next week and a half and need to devote myself to completing them this weekend. So, I suppose the weather should not be of much concern to me, other than having all supplies on hand I might require for a couple of days at home.

I do like the coziness of being tucked in at home when the weather outside rages. We'll see if I still have this romantic notion after a cold snap. We just had some intense weather, but I was out of town and missed it. It seems I will get to experience this one.

Perhaps the next couple of days should be devoted to hunting and gathering the necessities of life.

Tired

I want to cook. I need to write. I must sleep.

Coffee Cake

This is a morning that called for coffee cake. Or so we decided. So, I got online and found a couple of recipes and then created our own version.

Cake:
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 egg
3/4 cup sugar
1/3 cup melted butter
1/2 cup milk

1/2 cup pecans (optional)


Topping:
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup sifted all-purpose flour (sift before measuring)
1/4 cup butter, room temperature
1 teaspoon cinnamon

Mix topping ingredients into a crumbly mixture and set aside.

For cake, mix dry ingredients togther and then add remaining and mix well. Sprinkle pecans on top of batter or mix in as you prefer.

Pour cake batter into 8 by 8 pan and sprinkle crumb topping mix over top of it. Cook at 375 degrees for 25-20 minutes until done. You can cut while still warm.

New Year's Day

This morning I was greeted to a beautiful sight of my brother's barn with the moon above it as well as a planet shining far above. I'm sorry the photo isn't better. I guess it was a "you had to be there" kind of moment.



Then I took to the open road and am spending time now with more people I enjoy. All in all an excellent start to the year.

The End of the Year and the Beginning of the Year

On the last day of the year, it seems I should have something insightful and thought provoking to share. Unfortunately, I fear I'm not up to the challenge.

A new year is a time for a fresh start, and tomorrow will be 1-1-11. If there were ever a time for a new beginning, that would be it.

I'm always in a pensive mood as the calendar turns, contemplating what was good about the past year, and what I want to see in the coming year. As I was trying to sum up 2010 in my mind I realized it was a year of regrouping. The entire year of 2009 was about my health - literally January to December was focused on getting better. Then 2010 was about regrouping from that - paying off medical bills and getting myself back on an even keel. Although I don't have everything paid off, I've made lots of progress on it, and I'm feeling much more "myself" as 2011 approaches. A year like 2009 takes a lot out of a person. It takes some time to recover, not just physically, but psychically. I'm looking forward to 2011.

Things are shifting in a very positive way in my life. A number of talents I've developed over the years are in demand from various sectors these days, which is wonderful. I anticipate a year from now I'll be feeling even more blessed than I do today, and I'm incredibly grateful for all the wonderful things in my life right now.

It's a rainy end to 2010 here, washing away anything negative that's hanging around, making for a bright, fresh start to 2011. What more could we ask for?

Invigorating

I am really invigorated by talking with other creative people. Today I was on a conference call with people who are doing interesting things. I think we can all help each other do more cool things. That feels good. I love synergy.

Not sure how it will all end up working, but I know there's potential there. We shall see how it all works out.

On another topic, I want to state for the record I made another batch of divinity tonight. This is five in a row that have worked. I think - maybe - I'm getting the hang of it. Of course, the next one could end up running all over the counter. I'm not getting cocky... not even confident yet.

Tribal Like Us

Sociologists have been noting that Americans are becoming more tribal all the time. We gather in groups that are "like us," and even adorn ourselves with jewelry and other markings that indicate our tribes. We seem to feel a need to distinguish ourselves with our clothing, hair styles, etc.

If you have any doubt tribes exist, ask any 12 year old girl and she will gladly point them out at her school. If you spend a few minutes thinking about it, you'll know you have tribes at your work place, church, or other gathering place, too. This is not the purview solely of teenagers.

This separateness is antithetical to the idea of America as the great melting pot. Bob Edwards interviewed John Mellencamp recently and in the course of conversation, Mellencamp said something that spoke to this idea. He said, "We became more tribal as we tried to take democracy everywhere."

I had never thought about the idea of tribal in this context, but he's absolutely correct. I can't say it's a true statistical correlation, but the idea is sound. As we have tried to spread democracy (for reasons I don't fully understand, but that's another discussion), our own society seems to become more segmented - more tribal.

It's a conundrum.

Zina and The Mysteries of Life

My grandfather's name was Zina Myatt. He had a twin sister named Tina. It was pronouced "Ziny" and "Tiny." Do not ask me why - I do not know.

I never met my grandfather. He died a few years before I was born.

In all the people I've met, all the genealogy research I've done, and all the times I've asked, I have never seen another reference to the name, "Zina." I wonder where it came from when he was born in 1895.

Tonight I was working, and looked down at a book central to the project, and noticed on the cover, "Foreward by Hal Zina Bennett." I've looked at this book hundreds of times, and never noticed that.

I searched him out online and he has written dozens of books, including many on Native American topics, holistic health, creativity, etc. How could I not have run across his work before? Or have I and just not noticed the name?

It's an odd coincidence at any time. But all the more interesting when I'm on land my grandfather would have visited, sitting in a house built in the same place where the house his widow lived in used to stand.

If you're a person who believes everything has a meaning - and I am - this bears notice. What the meaning is eludes me, however. Life is full of mysteries.

Purpose

I'm working on some freelance jobs tonight and in the process have run across a note I wrote to myself at some point. It says, "What is the business of your life? What is your purpose?"

Unlike I usually do, I didn't date this or note what prompted the question. But it's still worthy of an answer. I don't have one, but it's worthy of one. Or more.

"What is the business of your life?" That's a weighty question. I wonder how many of us are engaged in the business that is the business of our lives. Most of us have jobs, but they are not necessarily what we are meant to do.

The experts always tell us to do what we love and the money will follow. Perhaps they have husbands or wivess willing to pay their bills or independent wealth, but I'm certain my mortgage holder does not espouse this mindset - quite the opposite,in fact.

My dream is to spend my days and nights entertaining friends and family, engaging in conversation, writing, painting, speaking, reading, travelling, teaching and thinking - on my own timetable. If you know how to make that lucrative, please let me know. I'm ready.

Of course, the question I noted, "What is the business of your life? What is your purpose?" is much broader than that. But it seems a struggle to focus on the true purpose of one's life when so much of it is devoted to maintaining an existence. Surely that can't be the purpose of life, and yet that's what most of us do.

Interesting questions to ponder. If only I had time for that...

Perfect Moments

Our Christmas snow dissipated somewhat overnight. But, just as I was about to lament its passing, the heavens opened with more beautiful, puffy white flakes.

Jackie and Mary Ann are gone to church and I'm alone in a quiet, warm house surrounded by a gorgeous snowy landscape. Snowflakes are dancing outside the windows. It's a perfect moment.

I'm not sure how many perfect moments we're all allotted in life, but I know I've been blessed to have been given more than a few. I'm grateful.

Merry Christmas

It is a stunningly beautiful Christmas Day at my brother and sister-in-law's house. It simply could not be more perfect. Snow is falling softly on a snow covered landscape, but it's not terribly cold, and the roads are clear for travellers still making their ways. Mary Ann is bustling around in the kitchen, the tree is glowing, presents are wrapped and loved ones are on their way soon. We are blessed.

I hope you are feeling the same today, whether you're celebrating with family and friends, or enjoying quiet time alone. May the day hold some Christmas magic for you.

Thank you for sharing my life the past year - in person, through the website, Facebook and Twitter. I'm a very lucky girl for millions of reasons and I count having you involved in my life as one of those reasons.

Merry Christmas!

Luminarias in Hutchinson

We got to enjoy Hutchinson's luminarias last weekend. They're always the weekend before Christmas, in the Hyde Park area of town. Always beautiful.

Happy Birthday to Me and Happy Festivus to You

Today is my birthday. I feel perpetually 27, and yet that is not my actual age.

A friend pointed out today that my birthday falls on Festivus, the holiday created by the Seinfeld show. I told him I think it's the other way around - Festivus falls on my birthday. After all, I've been having birthdays longer than Festivus has existed, so I'm claiming December 23.

But, I'll share. And however you choose to celebrate Festivus is cool. If it happens to be with a cake with my name on it, be sure and save me a piece.

Have a Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and all around jolly time!

Christmas Happiness

Everyone, including me, is a flurry of activity, getting ready for Christmas.

This morning as I was walking into the building, the church bells a block away were playing, "I Heard The Bells on Christmas Day." I looked up and could see "Greetings" written on the HCC electronic sign, with their "Merry Christmas and star" mounted on the building. It was a lovely way to start the day.

I get a tremendous amount of joy from simple things like that, which is one of the keys to happiness. I'm very fortunate that it's natural for me to find happiness in small things. But, of course, anyone can learn it.

What a lovely gift that would be to give people, but happiness isn't something one can tie a ribbon on.

Lunar Eclipse

I didn't get up to see the Lunar Eclipse last night, but Greg did and got some magnificent photographs. Take a look at thelope.com.
Greg is so incredibly talented - and the best friend a person could have. I'm blessed to have him in my world.

Yes, Virginia...

The editorial that says, "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus..." is the most reprinted editorial in the English language, and with good reason.

One of my favorite lines is:
Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

A few years ago, the letter was appraised on Antiques Road Show. You can see that here:
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/roadshow/archive/199704A43.html

It's one of those stories that resonates with us, because we can all put ourselves in the place of the eight-year-old or the editor.

Read more about it and see the original letter and editorial on Letters of Note.

Mama's Divinity

My mom was a championship divinity maker. People would ask her to make it for them and it was a much coveted gift. A few years ago I decided I would just make it until I could turn it out with no problem. I managed a few perfect batches.

This year I wanted to make some for my next door neighbors who have been so helpful to me. It took me a couple of batches to remember what I had learned, but I turned out a couple of nice ones - one with nuts, and one without, and took them over this afternoon.

My mom, Mary Lea Myatt Terrell, heard this recipe on the radio in about 1934 and wrote it down. She made it many times. Being able to turn it out perfectly is not genetic, and even though I have the pan she always used, I'm still learning.

If you want to give it a go, here's the recipe:

Mary Lea's Divinity


2 1/2 cups sugar
1/2 cup white syrup
1/2 cup water
2 eggs whites, beaten to soft peaks
1 cup pecans

Mix sugar, syrup and water, and cook on top of the stove over medium heat until it spins a nice thread. Pour into beaten egg whites and continue to beat until it will hold its shape when spooned out. Add pecans at the last, mix, and then dip quickly.

Today is my nephew, Bobby's, birthday and Mama always made him some divinity for his birthday. He prefers it without nuts. Mama just couldn't understand anyone wanting candy without nuts, but of course made it for him like he liked it.

UPDATE: I asked Bobby about the nut question at Christmas and my memory is faulty. He loves it with nuts. So, I'll have to figure out who it was that wanted it without nuts. But, not Bobby!

UPDATE: I won second place in the Kansas State Fair with this recipe in 2012. Story here: http://www.blog.patsyterrell.com/2012/09/divinity-won-second-place-in-state-fair.html

Santa

Hope your Christmas season is going well. It's going by too quickly for me. I always want more Christmas.

How Do You Remember

I've been thinking a lot lately about memories, how we make them, how we store them and how we recall them. The things we choose to commit to memory are interesting - it's not necessarily what the logical mind would say is most "important." But, of course, there's not much logical about memories, or even most of the brain, as far as I can tell. At least not my brain.

There are moments from 40 years ago I remember with clarity, that were seemingly insignificant events. At the same time there are "big picture" things I have only a vague sense of.

Does it really make sense that I can remember a moment with a classmate when I was in second grade, and who I haven't seen in decades, more clearly than I remember signing the papers to buy my house? No. But, I can put myself back in that gymnasium playing dodge ball much easier than I can seat myself at the table in the title office. 

Experts tell us that emotion attached to memory is part of what makes them stay with us. And, the unpleasantness of being in a gym with screaming kids had more negative emotion attached than being in an office. Yet, the drama of committing myself to a home for the first time should have been a significant event.

Maybe it's that there were other difficulties going on when I was signing for the house and they "diluted" the emotion of it all. Maybe I had simply experienced enough emotional events by then that it was more easily kept in perspective than the child's moment.

Maybe it's that when I was signing for my house I knew I was changing lots of things in my life and that all were improving, and as a child I felt stuck - that I would have to be confined in gyms with yelling kids for years to come.

While I was thinking about this, I ran across this blog post from Stefani Twyford, and found her comments fascinating. I'm still contemplating how I process memories. It's worthy of some thought.

Colbert says Jesus is a Liberal Democrat

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Silence

I've been getting multiple messages lately to find time for quiet.

The other night a friend said, "There is a sound to silence." I have been thinking about that since she said it. It's profound.

Last night I went to see the movie, "Happy," at KUSM. In the course of the movie, they were talking to a gentleman from the deep south and he was talking about coming out to the bayou to, "Listen to the stillness."

It wouldn't seem that stillness would have a sound, but I believe it does. By the same token, "silence" would seem to not offer much to hear, but I believe it does.

Perhaps what we hear in those moments is absence. The absence of demands from other parts of our world. Maybe that absence is what we're listening for - holding our breath, edging closer, standing still, straining to hear.

I don't mean "fungus" in a bad way...

Greg and I went to Moundridge, Kansas tonight to eat at a restaurant called Block 32. I had bought a discount certificate (kind of like a Groupon, but a local deal) and it needed to be used by the end of the year. So, we decided we'd go give it a try.

Afterwards we drove around looking at lights in Moundridge and then went on up to McPherson to do the same.

I have to explain that Greg and I are experienced light observers, and we have entire categories of decorations. There's "anal," which is the style where every light is perfectly oriented, cut to precisely fit the structure. It seems only an engineering type brain could make it work.

At the other end of the spectrum is "slathered," which means applying lights to every surface that can support them. This style has little regard for how "tidy" they are. Excess lights are left dangling after windows are outlined, or trail off into a nearby bush.

We like both categories, and everything in between. It's all festive. We love the effort put forth. We also love to see people putting up more lights when we drive around. Not sure why, but we do.

Tonight we drove by a house that had one strand of lights woven around parts of their porch banister in a totally random way. I pointed it out and said, "I love it." Greg said, "Me too." As we drove on I joked, "They let their kid do it." Greg said, "And it's probably a wonderful memory for the kid."

A few houses down there was one that was a little more neat but not much. Greg looked over and said, "Their kid is older. That's the only difference here." We laughed and drove around the block to see them again. All Christmas lights are wonderful.

Later in the night we drove by a house with icicle lights where some were hanging from the eaves and some were more horizontal on the roof. I referred to the "haphazard application of lights" and Greg said, "yes, the icicle lights look more like the house has fungus growing on it."

I was chuckling and said, "fungus... that's the quote of the night... not a word you associate with looking at Christmas lights... fungus..." Then, as if I needed to explain myself I said, "But I don't mean fungus in a bad way." We enjoyed it enough we had to drive around the block and look at it again.

We had a great time looking at lights - of all varieties. I lean more toward the slathering end of things when doing my own Christmas decorating, but I enjoy all kinds of decorations. I appreciate all efforts to make the world pretty and sparkly. I think we should do it more than just a few weeks at Christmas.

Why can't we have more pretty and sparkly? Fungus-like or otherwise.

Suffering

I was reading something recently that asked the question, "What are you willing to suffer for?"

It's an intriguing question. And one I'm not sure I have the answers for yet.

It's easy to start creating a list of things you're willing to suffer for. I'm guessing it might be a little more difficult to be faced with the actual suffering.

Much to think about.

Cookbooks Find Their Way To Me

Lately I've been picking up old cookbooks from the 30s - 70s. They keep presenting themselves to me for a quarter here or there.

I love the illustrations in some of them. I haven't cooked a lot of things out of them yet, but I love looking at them. Don't you love how the edge of this page is made to look like a piece of bread?



They're really little time capsules. And who knows what might come out of the kitchen from one of these in the near future?



I'm pretty sure there won't be much "jellied consomme" coming out of my kitchen, however. "Jellied" is not something I'm too interested in unless it involves fruit and large quantities of sugar.
I saw a reference to aspic as "edible Saran-wrap" once, and that seems an apt description of this general class of food. Truthfully, I've never eaten aspic, but I'm sure I don't want to. I know - that whole idea of trying things - but there are some things I just know I don't like.

These pictures remind me of this post.

Greg

Greg and I went to lunch this week at a particular restaurant because they have a vintage Santa. We have our priorities in order.

The Day

This morning I taught a blogging class at the library. It went well, I think. We had computers for 12 people but ended up having 14. It all worked out.

It's always a struggle to know what to spend the majority of the time on - explanation or hands-on or what. Ultimately, most of these sorts of things require just sitting down and working with them until you understand how they work. I gave everyone my card so they can call if they run into problems. I hope it was really useful for people.

Afterwards Peggy, Brian and I went to lunch and chatted for a very long time, which was fun. Gary came and joined us for awhile and it was great to see him. Other than that, and one brief trip to the grocery, I've been indoors.

It's cold here today - intense winds. As my windows are rattling and my feet are cold I'm reminded of why I always intend to get all the storm windows in tip-top shape when it's warm. Of course, in the multiple years I've lived here that hasn't happened and it looks like 2010 isn't the year for it either. Maybe I'm wrong about that, and it will happen before the end of the year. That would be fabulous.

Quiet and Meditation

For the last few months I've been feeling a lack in my life. It took me some time to figure out I needed more time for stilling the mind and meditation. Even after I figured it out, it took awhile to make the space in my life for it.

In just the last couple of weeks I've been working meditation back into my life, and the change is already noticeable. I feel more "on track," more focused, more prepared to meet the days.

For years I have done three things each day: pray, meditate and write. As I have been so focused on making money the last few months I've slipped out of the habit of meditating every day. Obviously, it's something I need to make time for, or everything else suffers.