Pictures and 1000 Words and All of That

This weekend I was working on some things in my home office and noticed this. I think it sums up one of the things I'm most dissatisfied with in my life. The question is what to do about it. That I still haven't worked out yet. But, obviously, I must do something.

Newspaper Racks Become Artwork

They may look like innocent newspaper boxes, but soon they'll be pieces of art. Local artists have been invited by Gallery 7 to paint them. They'll then go back on the street. So, you'll be able to buy your Hutchinson News from something a bit more interesting.

I'm lucky to live in a town where cool things like this are happening. And doubly lucky that I've been invited to paint one.

I'm still mulling over ideas. I have many rattling around in my brain, but only one box. I'm leaning toward something with stars. You know I love stars.

When I look at these, they scream to be robots. But, I'll probably go with something involving stars. Maybe someone else will make a robot. Or maybe I'll make a robot with stars. I guess there's another option there. I have about a dozen workable ideas - not sure what it will end up being.

Needless to say, you'll be subjected to photographs along the way.

These are too heavy for me to move to my studio, which is upstairs. So, I'll be working at the gallery. I went down today and cleaned mine and prepped it by sanding. Hopefully next Saturday I'll get to start painting.

It's Here

My replacement EVO arrived today. It was here when I got home and I'll be so glad to be back in the smart-phone world tomorrow once the battery has been fully charged. I am going to do my best to not destroy this one.

I guess, technically, the old phone I've been using is a smart phone, but with all it's difficulties it hasn't seemed very "smart." The "w" not working has been particularly difficult - what with living near "Wichita" and all. Most of the buttons only respond periodically, which is another challenge. But I've been thankful to have it nonetheless.

However, first on my agenda tomorrow is to get the new phone activated. Although I'm supposed to be able to do it online that process does not work. I'm sure the folks at the store will make it go. And I will love them for it.

Note to Self - Evolution and Revolution

Recently I picked up an "idea" notebook. I have a ton of these things. There's always one with me when I'm driving, always at any desk, almost always in my purse. When I'm listening to a podcast or reading or just thinking and something occurs to me I jot it down in case I want to revisit that thought.

Truth be told, I rarely even read them, much less do anything more with them. But, once I write down the thought I know it's there if I want to go back to it. For some reason that's comforting to me.

Yesterday I ran across this one that seems quite profound, and I do remember revisiting some of this thought, but I have never done anything more with it.

It's dated, as most things are, and then some writing on the page. From the look of the handwriting I'm guessing I was in a car - it's pretty messy - or I could have just been writing really fast.

"August 5, 2009
I believe in evolution - I believe in revolution. Rarely is revolution sought - it simply arrives. Unannounced. Unbidden."

I faintly remember writing this. I don't recall the train of thought, but I'm glad I made this note. It's an interesting little peek into my brain. Yes, it's still surprising for me sometimes, too.

Franklin Flyer Ramblings

I just finished a book called, "Franklin Flyer," which I recommend. The title refers to the name of the main person in the book and he is a fascinating character. A couple of times there were things attributed to him that made me stop and think.

One of them was a reference to a person who had not followed through on a promise. The Franklin Flyer character says by way of explanation that it was because this man, "thought that by keeping people in his mind ... he was actually keeping them in his life."

I've witnessed this phenomenon before. It seems Facebook is perfectly designed to encourage it, too. Sometimes when I say that I need interaction with people, I can tell it's a foreign concept to people. I think maybe the writer, Nicholas Christopher, has pinpointed the reason.

Whereas I want interaction, some feel "connected" by the mere fact that they know my name and a few facts about me and we were at one time connected. That is enough. They feel as though I'm still in their lives.

It does give reason to consider what we added to a person's life if they are content without it being an ongoing presence, but this is a fascinating way to think about it. It's not good or bad, it just is.

In another passage, he writes, "... he had no choice but to look inward." Although it's almost an aside in the book, it jumped out at me. I think looking inward is something some of us do only when we have no choice. I wonder why that is. What are we afraid we are going to find there that keeps us from looking. Or is it that we think there's nothing to be learned by doing so?

At another moment in the book, a character's mother dies, and he cuts school and takes the bus to various places in the area. Christopher writes, "He felt that if he allowed the rhythms of his daily life to flow unimpeded, it would finalize the fact of his mothers' death; if he broke them he could put that moment off. Later, he would understand that wandering was also his way of mourning."

Wandering is a concept that continues to emerge in my life - either by the drive to do it, or references to it like this. For this character, wandering was mourning. For others I think it's a way to prevent mourning.

I made it a point on the first anniversary of my mother's death to be in Paris, half a world away. Part of me wanted to be with those who had been at my side during that time. Another part of me wanted to be somewhere very different. The latter won out. I wasn't sure I could face being in my "normal" surroundings because nothing seemed normal yet.

Although I was travelling with a friend, I spent that day alone, except for the interaction of strangers I had never seen before and will never see again. But I was not wandering, I had a mission. I went to Notre Dame and sat there at the exact moment of her death a year earlier, and sobbed. Strangers offered assistance, but it felt more of an intrusion than a comfort. I grieved more in an hour than I had in the previous few months.

I returned to the hotel room my friend and I were sharing and didn't want to talk with him, either. The night before had been fueled with too much wine and too many demons. While I was mourning this tremendous loss of my mother I knew on some level that I was mourning a loss between us, too. Timing is everything in life, and ours was not good those 24 hours.

But we kept each other in our minds and pretended we were in each other's lives. There's always that possibility as long as someone is on your mind, regardless of how remote it is. We looked inward when we couldn't avoid it, we wandered and we mourned.

Now he is gone and I've mourned him too, but without wandering. One day soon, I will wander again - and grieve many things that are waiting their turns.

Congratulations to Judge Trish Rose

My dear friend, Trish Rose, was sworn in today as District Judge. Her swearing in was at noon and she heard her first case at 1:30.

She was sworn in by Patty Macke Dick, a long-time friend and chief judge. It was a historic moment - first time a woman has sworn in a woman judge here.

I couldn't resist a photo of Trish sitting in her chair right after swearing in - officially a judge. She filled in a week or two ago, and of course went up the night she won, but this was her first time sitting there after being official. Her husband, Jim, was there of course - he has been a real jewel in supporting Trish in her campaigns.

This is Trish's courtroom. Isn't it beautiful? Our courthouse was built in 1930 and is an art deco marvel. 

Quote of the Day

Don’t ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who are alive.
– Howard Thurman

I'm in a pensive mood these days. Perhaps it's the beginning of the new year and all the freshness that brings. Regardless, it's good to contemplate the stream of life and our place in it. Hopefully, we conclude we're more than just a place-holder.

One of the things I'm certain of is that this year I must find a way to have more balance in my life. Last year was devoted to working and making money. While I still need to make money, I must invest in myself more.

I must find a way to do things that restore me. By the end of last year I was very depleted, but some time off to be with people I love and their kindnesses gave me some much needed energy.

One of my challenges now is to find a way to invest in myself.

Thoughts on Today's Shooting

Today's shooting of Congresswoman Giffords is a senseless act, perhaps incited by the rabid hatred bandied about in politics these days. I wish we could move past hate. But, since that seems impossible, I wish people who support the thinking that we can address our problems by shooting people would own their responsibility for creating an environment where someone takes things to this extreme.

I'm not suggesting that every politically conservative person thinks this is a good thing. I am saying that continual references to shooting people, which is the purview of the ultra right-wing as best I can tell, encourages a more violent society.

Talking about "targeting" people in political campaigns can be taken literally by some mentally unstable people. If you're talking that way you must accept some responsibility for an environment that encourages the thought that it's appropriate to shoot those we disagree with. It does nothing to add to civility and discourse in government.

Lest you think I'm just making it up, this was on Sarah Palin's website, supporting the Tea Party candidate, while putting gun sights on Giffords. Of course it has now been removed.

You cannot support people who put gun sight targets over candidates they don't agree with, and pretend like you're not involved. You're involved. When you publicly support any individual or group where things like this are deemed appropriate, you're giving tacit approval of the mentality that if someone disagrees with you it's okay to "target" them with a gun.

Did Palin pull the trigger? Of course not. Did the average Tea Party person pull the trigger? No. But, is the metaphor of shooting people an appropriate one in politics? No, absolutely not. And you shouldn't support anyone who uses it. Period.

I was shocked when I saw this graphic used months ago. This isn't about issues or conservative/liberal, and it's not about guns and the right to own them. I probably have more experience with guns than 90% of the people who blather on incessantly about how important it is that they have the right to own guns. This is about not shooting people - or encouraging others to shoot people - you don't happen to agree with.

Weather Whining

For days I've been hearing the weekend weather forecast of snow, cold, and - in general - the sky is falling. So this morning I bundle up and do things I just have to do - like wrestle the recycling bin up to the house. Outside things. Cold things. I shop. I run errands.

At my last stop I come out to discover the sun is shining, the wind has died and it's quite pleasant. I didn't even wear a coat while unloading the car.

Would have been nice for someone to mention this afternoon was going to be early spring-like. I would have waited to do those unpleasant outdoor tasks, instead of rushing to get them done this morning.

I'm not sure if my fingers will ever be warm again. Perhaps I should go put them in a patch of sunshine. The sunshine I'm not supposed to be seeing. That sunshine.

Irony

Yesterday when I got the mail as soon as I got home I found my $100 rebate check from Sprint for the EVO I bought in November. I came in and proceeded to do some things around the house. One of the things I did was put some laundry in to wash. Unfortunately, I did that without taking said EVO out of the pocket.

So, when I realize this - after it has gone through a full wash cycle - it is too late to salvage it. It's dead. Very dead.

This morning I called Sprint and spoke to the manager locally to ask if he had any advice for me. He suggested putting it in rice, which I had already done. He asked what happened and I said, "uhhh... is this the part where I'm supposed to lie to you about what I did?" We both laughed and then I told him the story.

Fortunately, I have insurance on the phone and I'll have a new one in a few days. Deductible on the insurance? $100. How can you not love the irony of that?

I'm very displeased with myself. In all the years I've had a cell phone I've never had to use the insurance. But, fortunately, I had it on this phone because it would cost a lot more to replace without it.

They very kindly helped me get an old phone operating. I sold them my last phone in November when I got the EVO. So, I had to go back to the phone I had before that. I feel like I'm in the dark ages, although when I got it, it was quite wonderful. But, I can talk on the phone and read email (with effort) but answering is not easily done. Some letters on this keyboard don't work - like "w," which made telling people I was in Wichita this afternoon somewhat difficult.

Overall, it's a blip. People have far, far, far worse problems. I was just stupid and it is costing me $100. Being stupid sometimes costs us far more than that so I'll just be thankful I squeaked by with nothing more than an outlay of cash.

But, with that in mind, I'd best go write something someone will pay me for!

Choices and Happiness

I've been unable to get into blogger for awhile. But, I haven't had anything earth shattering to write about anyway, so I suppose it's no great loss. I'm guessing you're not sitting by your computer waiting for my blog posts to pop up anyway.

The year is off to a busy start. I've got three freelance articles due in the next couple of weeks, and a new social media client. That's all good news. If I could just find a few more hours in every day that would be incredibly helpful. Work is also fun right now because I'm planning a neat event for the opening of a Snoopy exhibit on February 12.

I've been doing some after-Christmas shopping. You probably know I'm being very frugal these days, but I so so so so so love after-Christmas shopping. I set aside a sum of money to "play" with in that regard. Not as much as I usually have, but enough to enjoy.

Everyone cares about different things when it comes to money and this is something that gives me a tremendous amount of joy. I need more joy in my life - if it comes in the form of glitter-covered ornaments or nice perfume or great stationery. Some people care about designer clothes and some about fancy cars. I'd rather buy my clothes on clearance and be able to have Christmas ornaments.

I realize that makes sense to very few people. After all, one of those things is a daily need and one a yearly desire. And it's not as if I'm lacking in Christmas ornaments. I have thousands. But, nonetheless, it's what makes me happy.

One of my mother's greatest gifts to me was teaching me to be happy. Talk about something that's a daily thing - that's it. Being happy. We now know that people have a "set point" of happiness but it accounts for only about half of their happiness level. People can, indeed, choose their happiness level. The trick is that for some people happiness is natural and for others it's a learned behavior.

I don't know which it is for me, but my mother was insistent that I should do the things that made me happy as long as they weren't hurting anyone else. That is excellent training for life. And part of the reason I own a few hundred more Christmas ornaments today than I did a week ago. It doesn't hurt anyone for me to have ornaments, and I'd rather give up something else.

All of life is about choices, it seems. I decided  to give up other delights to have a snowman, Santa, and pretty, sparkly things. It's not the choice I would urge for everyone, and I will have to turn down other fun for this, but it's a good choice for me.

Quote of the Day

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home.
           Edith Sitwell


We've been having some unseasonably warm days. I feel as though spring is right around the corner, although winter is barely begun. However, the forecast for the weekend predicts I may be quickly cured of that misconception.

I have a number of projects due in the next week and a half and need to devote myself to completing them this weekend. So, I suppose the weather should not be of much concern to me, other than having all supplies on hand I might require for a couple of days at home.

I do like the coziness of being tucked in at home when the weather outside rages. We'll see if I still have this romantic notion after a cold snap. We just had some intense weather, but I was out of town and missed it. It seems I will get to experience this one.

Perhaps the next couple of days should be devoted to hunting and gathering the necessities of life.

Tired

I want to cook. I need to write. I must sleep.

Coffee Cake

This is a morning that called for coffee cake. Or so we decided. So, I got online and found a couple of recipes and then created our own version.

Cake:
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 egg
3/4 cup sugar
1/3 cup melted butter
1/2 cup milk

1/2 cup pecans (optional)


Topping:
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup sifted all-purpose flour (sift before measuring)
1/4 cup butter, room temperature
1 teaspoon cinnamon

Mix topping ingredients into a crumbly mixture and set aside.

For cake, mix dry ingredients togther and then add remaining and mix well. Sprinkle pecans on top of batter or mix in as you prefer.

Pour cake batter into 8 by 8 pan and sprinkle crumb topping mix over top of it. Cook at 375 degrees for 25-20 minutes until done. You can cut while still warm.

New Year's Day

This morning I was greeted to a beautiful sight of my brother's barn with the moon above it as well as a planet shining far above. I'm sorry the photo isn't better. I guess it was a "you had to be there" kind of moment.



Then I took to the open road and am spending time now with more people I enjoy. All in all an excellent start to the year.

The End of the Year and the Beginning of the Year

On the last day of the year, it seems I should have something insightful and thought provoking to share. Unfortunately, I fear I'm not up to the challenge.

A new year is a time for a fresh start, and tomorrow will be 1-1-11. If there were ever a time for a new beginning, that would be it.

I'm always in a pensive mood as the calendar turns, contemplating what was good about the past year, and what I want to see in the coming year. As I was trying to sum up 2010 in my mind I realized it was a year of regrouping. The entire year of 2009 was about my health - literally January to December was focused on getting better. Then 2010 was about regrouping from that - paying off medical bills and getting myself back on an even keel. Although I don't have everything paid off, I've made lots of progress on it, and I'm feeling much more "myself" as 2011 approaches. A year like 2009 takes a lot out of a person. It takes some time to recover, not just physically, but psychically. I'm looking forward to 2011.

Things are shifting in a very positive way in my life. A number of talents I've developed over the years are in demand from various sectors these days, which is wonderful. I anticipate a year from now I'll be feeling even more blessed than I do today, and I'm incredibly grateful for all the wonderful things in my life right now.

It's a rainy end to 2010 here, washing away anything negative that's hanging around, making for a bright, fresh start to 2011. What more could we ask for?

Invigorating

I am really invigorated by talking with other creative people. Today I was on a conference call with people who are doing interesting things. I think we can all help each other do more cool things. That feels good. I love synergy.

Not sure how it will all end up working, but I know there's potential there. We shall see how it all works out.

On another topic, I want to state for the record I made another batch of divinity tonight. This is five in a row that have worked. I think - maybe - I'm getting the hang of it. Of course, the next one could end up running all over the counter. I'm not getting cocky... not even confident yet.

Tribal Like Us

Sociologists have been noting that Americans are becoming more tribal all the time. We gather in groups that are "like us," and even adorn ourselves with jewelry and other markings that indicate our tribes. We seem to feel a need to distinguish ourselves with our clothing, hair styles, etc.

If you have any doubt tribes exist, ask any 12 year old girl and she will gladly point them out at her school. If you spend a few minutes thinking about it, you'll know you have tribes at your work place, church, or other gathering place, too. This is not the purview solely of teenagers.

This separateness is antithetical to the idea of America as the great melting pot. Bob Edwards interviewed John Mellencamp recently and in the course of conversation, Mellencamp said something that spoke to this idea. He said, "We became more tribal as we tried to take democracy everywhere."

I had never thought about the idea of tribal in this context, but he's absolutely correct. I can't say it's a true statistical correlation, but the idea is sound. As we have tried to spread democracy (for reasons I don't fully understand, but that's another discussion), our own society seems to become more segmented - more tribal.

It's a conundrum.

Zina and The Mysteries of Life

My grandfather's name was Zina Myatt. He had a twin sister named Tina. It was pronouced "Ziny" and "Tiny." Do not ask me why - I do not know.

I never met my grandfather. He died a few years before I was born.

In all the people I've met, all the genealogy research I've done, and all the times I've asked, I have never seen another reference to the name, "Zina." I wonder where it came from when he was born in 1895.

Tonight I was working, and looked down at a book central to the project, and noticed on the cover, "Foreward by Hal Zina Bennett." I've looked at this book hundreds of times, and never noticed that.

I searched him out online and he has written dozens of books, including many on Native American topics, holistic health, creativity, etc. How could I not have run across his work before? Or have I and just not noticed the name?

It's an odd coincidence at any time. But all the more interesting when I'm on land my grandfather would have visited, sitting in a house built in the same place where the house his widow lived in used to stand.

If you're a person who believes everything has a meaning - and I am - this bears notice. What the meaning is eludes me, however. Life is full of mysteries.

Purpose

I'm working on some freelance jobs tonight and in the process have run across a note I wrote to myself at some point. It says, "What is the business of your life? What is your purpose?"

Unlike I usually do, I didn't date this or note what prompted the question. But it's still worthy of an answer. I don't have one, but it's worthy of one. Or more.

"What is the business of your life?" That's a weighty question. I wonder how many of us are engaged in the business that is the business of our lives. Most of us have jobs, but they are not necessarily what we are meant to do.

The experts always tell us to do what we love and the money will follow. Perhaps they have husbands or wivess willing to pay their bills or independent wealth, but I'm certain my mortgage holder does not espouse this mindset - quite the opposite,in fact.

My dream is to spend my days and nights entertaining friends and family, engaging in conversation, writing, painting, speaking, reading, travelling, teaching and thinking - on my own timetable. If you know how to make that lucrative, please let me know. I'm ready.

Of course, the question I noted, "What is the business of your life? What is your purpose?" is much broader than that. But it seems a struggle to focus on the true purpose of one's life when so much of it is devoted to maintaining an existence. Surely that can't be the purpose of life, and yet that's what most of us do.

Interesting questions to ponder. If only I had time for that...

Perfect Moments

Our Christmas snow dissipated somewhat overnight. But, just as I was about to lament its passing, the heavens opened with more beautiful, puffy white flakes.

Jackie and Mary Ann are gone to church and I'm alone in a quiet, warm house surrounded by a gorgeous snowy landscape. Snowflakes are dancing outside the windows. It's a perfect moment.

I'm not sure how many perfect moments we're all allotted in life, but I know I've been blessed to have been given more than a few. I'm grateful.

Merry Christmas

It is a stunningly beautiful Christmas Day at my brother and sister-in-law's house. It simply could not be more perfect. Snow is falling softly on a snow covered landscape, but it's not terribly cold, and the roads are clear for travellers still making their ways. Mary Ann is bustling around in the kitchen, the tree is glowing, presents are wrapped and loved ones are on their way soon. We are blessed.

I hope you are feeling the same today, whether you're celebrating with family and friends, or enjoying quiet time alone. May the day hold some Christmas magic for you.

Thank you for sharing my life the past year - in person, through the website, Facebook and Twitter. I'm a very lucky girl for millions of reasons and I count having you involved in my life as one of those reasons.

Merry Christmas!

Luminarias in Hutchinson

We got to enjoy Hutchinson's luminarias last weekend. They're always the weekend before Christmas, in the Hyde Park area of town. Always beautiful.

Happy Birthday to Me and Happy Festivus to You

Today is my birthday. I feel perpetually 27, and yet that is not my actual age.

A friend pointed out today that my birthday falls on Festivus, the holiday created by the Seinfeld show. I told him I think it's the other way around - Festivus falls on my birthday. After all, I've been having birthdays longer than Festivus has existed, so I'm claiming December 23.

But, I'll share. And however you choose to celebrate Festivus is cool. If it happens to be with a cake with my name on it, be sure and save me a piece.

Have a Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and all around jolly time!

Christmas Happiness

Everyone, including me, is a flurry of activity, getting ready for Christmas.

This morning as I was walking into the building, the church bells a block away were playing, "I Heard The Bells on Christmas Day." I looked up and could see "Greetings" written on the HCC electronic sign, with their "Merry Christmas and star" mounted on the building. It was a lovely way to start the day.

I get a tremendous amount of joy from simple things like that, which is one of the keys to happiness. I'm very fortunate that it's natural for me to find happiness in small things. But, of course, anyone can learn it.

What a lovely gift that would be to give people, but happiness isn't something one can tie a ribbon on.

Lunar Eclipse

I didn't get up to see the Lunar Eclipse last night, but Greg did and got some magnificent photographs. Take a look at thelope.com.
Greg is so incredibly talented - and the best friend a person could have. I'm blessed to have him in my world.

Yes, Virginia...

The editorial that says, "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus..." is the most reprinted editorial in the English language, and with good reason.

One of my favorite lines is:
Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

A few years ago, the letter was appraised on Antiques Road Show. You can see that here:
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/roadshow/archive/199704A43.html

It's one of those stories that resonates with us, because we can all put ourselves in the place of the eight-year-old or the editor.

Read more about it and see the original letter and editorial on Letters of Note.

Mama's Divinity

My mom was a championship divinity maker. People would ask her to make it for them and it was a much coveted gift. A few years ago I decided I would just make it until I could turn it out with no problem. I managed a few perfect batches.

This year I wanted to make some for my next door neighbors who have been so helpful to me. It took me a couple of batches to remember what I had learned, but I turned out a couple of nice ones - one with nuts, and one without, and took them over this afternoon.

My mom, Mary Lea Myatt Terrell, heard this recipe on the radio in about 1934 and wrote it down. She made it many times. Being able to turn it out perfectly is not genetic, and even though I have the pan she always used, I'm still learning.

If you want to give it a go, here's the recipe:

Mary Lea's Divinity


2 1/2 cups sugar
1/2 cup white syrup
1/2 cup water
2 eggs whites, beaten to soft peaks
1 cup pecans

Mix sugar, syrup and water, and cook on top of the stove over medium heat until it spins a nice thread. Pour into beaten egg whites and continue to beat until it will hold its shape when spooned out. Add pecans at the last, mix, and then dip quickly.

Today is my nephew, Bobby's, birthday and Mama always made him some divinity for his birthday. He prefers it without nuts. Mama just couldn't understand anyone wanting candy without nuts, but of course made it for him like he liked it.

UPDATE: I asked Bobby about the nut question at Christmas and my memory is faulty. He loves it with nuts. So, I'll have to figure out who it was that wanted it without nuts. But, not Bobby!

UPDATE: I won second place in the Kansas State Fair with this recipe in 2012. Story here: http://www.blog.patsyterrell.com/2012/09/divinity-won-second-place-in-state-fair.html

Santa

Hope your Christmas season is going well. It's going by too quickly for me. I always want more Christmas.

How Do You Remember

I've been thinking a lot lately about memories, how we make them, how we store them and how we recall them. The things we choose to commit to memory are interesting - it's not necessarily what the logical mind would say is most "important." But, of course, there's not much logical about memories, or even most of the brain, as far as I can tell. At least not my brain.

There are moments from 40 years ago I remember with clarity, that were seemingly insignificant events. At the same time there are "big picture" things I have only a vague sense of.

Does it really make sense that I can remember a moment with a classmate when I was in second grade, and who I haven't seen in decades, more clearly than I remember signing the papers to buy my house? No. But, I can put myself back in that gymnasium playing dodge ball much easier than I can seat myself at the table in the title office. 

Experts tell us that emotion attached to memory is part of what makes them stay with us. And, the unpleasantness of being in a gym with screaming kids had more negative emotion attached than being in an office. Yet, the drama of committing myself to a home for the first time should have been a significant event.

Maybe it's that there were other difficulties going on when I was signing for the house and they "diluted" the emotion of it all. Maybe I had simply experienced enough emotional events by then that it was more easily kept in perspective than the child's moment.

Maybe it's that when I was signing for my house I knew I was changing lots of things in my life and that all were improving, and as a child I felt stuck - that I would have to be confined in gyms with yelling kids for years to come.

While I was thinking about this, I ran across this blog post from Stefani Twyford, and found her comments fascinating. I'm still contemplating how I process memories. It's worthy of some thought.