I puzzle even myself

Yesterday I decided I was going to work on the house a bit. I starting hanging up the clean clothes. Then the next thing I knew I was sewing on a missing button. Then I got back to hanging up clothes.

Then a friend called about lunch. I hadn't seen her in a while so we met at Roy's. We were still there 2 1/2 hours later. I thought I'd just run into one of my favorite thrift stores for a minute. So, I got home about 3 hours after I left.

I opened the fridge for a drink and noticed it really needed cleaning out. So, I went to pull the drawer out of the bottom and it wouldn't come without rolling the fridge out. But I had to take everything off the top of the fridge to do that. Then I had the fridge out so thought I should clean under it.

Then I noticed how dirty the curtains were behind in. So, they had to go into the wash - with multiple cycles with various cleaning products, which brought me back to the pile of clean laundry on top of the dryer.

The curtains are still soaking in the washing machine. And I'll have to roll the fridge out again to rehang them, once they're dry and ironed.

So... what I really accomplished was sewing on a button and cleaning under the fridge.

I think this may be why my house is always a mess.


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Lips

Someone asked me recently if I had had my lips done. This is the second or third time someone has asked me this.

I'm not sure if this is a compliment, as in, "Gosh, your lips are so pretty."
Or if it's the opposite, as in, "Gosh, your lips look disfigured, what did you do to them?"

The answer is, "No, I have not had my lips done, nor can I ever imagine a time when that answer would change."

I think:
1. this involves sticking needles in your lips
2. this does not sound fun to me
3. most people who have their lips done end up looking like they've been attacked by bees and the swelling is extreme

And, finally, if I had the money to spend on plastic surgery there are about a dozen things I'd rather have done.

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Writing, Writing, Writing

{EAV:d751c10d68df9a7b}I've been writing a lot the last couple of weeks, so haven't had much writing oomph left for the blog. I just finished another magazine piece tonight. It's a fun one - about pie!


I've learned a lot about how restaurants make pies en masse, and I'm all the more sure I don't want to work in a restaurant. But, I sure like to have good pie in them. I've uncovered a few more places I need to visit. Obviously. Research.

Accidentally, and unrelated to the story, I also discovered that January 23 (Monday) is Pie Day. I didn't know there was a Pie Day, other than 3.14, which is Pi Day. Regardless, it seems pie should be consumed on Monday. That might be a good time to go visit one of these restaurants.

Other than writing, and trying to catch up on some other things I've gotten behind on, I'm searching for health insurance. It is such a difficult thing for me. I want to be responsible and have some but so far all I've found costs almost as much as my mortgage and has a $10,000 deductible. I'm just not sure I can justify or afford that. I don't know what I'll do, but I'm assuming the path will become clear for me.

Well, it's almost 1:30 in the morning and I need to be up early in the morning so I should try to get a little sleep. I've been so mentally occupied lately that I've not been sleeping well, and that's not good either. Hopefully soon I will have everything a bit more under control and be able to rest.

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SOPA Petition

Today's "Google Doodle," as they call their imaginative logo artwork when they note various things, is the above black box. If you click on it you go to https://www.google.com/landing/takeaction and you can sign a petition to Stop SOPA.

Do that.

If you are reading this, you probably like the internet.

If you like the internet, you are against SOPA (Stop Online Piracy Act), even if you don't know what it is.

The short version is that it's ill-designed legislation to address a real problem - piracy; that will have far-reaching effects for people like you and me who are just doing our ordinary daily business on the internet and don't happen to be copying movies for distribution around the world.

So, take a minute and sign this petition - it's easy - your name, email and zip code. The zip code is so they can send it to your representative.

If you hear about websites "going dark," they are protesting this. No one is saying it's bad to stop piracy, this is just a very bad way to do it. This would have little effect on piracy, but cause tremendous difficulty for the average person who just wants to chat with their friends on Facebook, make a basic website for their business or some other normal thing online.

Hop on over and let your voice be heard: https://www.google.com/landing/takeaction

If you want to do even more, check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Main_Page. You can enter your zip code and get links to your particular reps. Do both. Make your voice heard.

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Finally, it is done...

Three years ago at this time I was preparing for surgery. It was all messy and uncertain, but turned out well. I got the wonderful "benign" word, which made Ace Jackalope smile for the first time.

Since then I've been paying medical bills. This weekend I got the last bill from the last one to be paid off. It's from the surgeon who saved my life and my final payment is the left over of $37.19. I decided to pay it on Jan. 27 - the anniversary of the surgery - although it's not due for a few more weeks.

I am so glad to have all of those bills paid. And so thankful they were willing to let me pay monthly all this time. I had health insurance, but with a very high deductible. This office - Associates in Women's Health - was so incredibly kind, as was Heartland Cardiology in Wichita, and others. Via Christi was astonishingly generous and gracious. Some others were just instantly rude and awful. I ended up in the ER in Joplin after surgery and the award for the worst medical experience from that time - from the care received to paying the bill afterward - goes to Freeman Hospital in Joplin. They were just horrid.

But, overall, I was very fortunate - the medical system worked perfectly for me as far as getting care. My own physician, Dr. Wesley, spotted the problem when it might have escaped notice by others. A local surgeon referred me to a specialist in Wichita, saying I needed to be operated on by someone who saw cancer every week, not someone like him who saw it a couple of times a year. Fortunately, although the radiology looked very bad, it was benign. He referred me to Dr. Horbelt, who operated on me at Via Christi in downtown Wichita. I cannot say enough wonderful things about the care I received there. We still refer to it as the "Club Med" of medical care. They were amazing. I wish all hospitals could be run with the same care and attention that Via Christi shows. Stunningly perfect.

It's interesting that this is a pretty emotional experience for me. Not sure why, but it is. Maybe just because it's a finishing of that chapter.

I am a lucky, lucky, lucky girl.

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Storytelling is What I Encourage Others To Do

It's all storytelling, you know. That's what journalism is all about.
          --- Tom Brokaw

Storytelling has been a theme in my life the last couple of years. I know I've written about it here many times. Tonight I ran across this quote from Tom Brokaw and it reminded me of a post I'd written recently about this very thing. 

The obvious thing is to think of myself as a story teller, but I realized tonight as I was thinking about it that I'm not so much a story-teller as I am a story-preserver. I seem to find myself in situations where I give other people a chance to tell their stories, where I can help them tell their stories. More directly, I should say I put myself in those situations.

This seems a really valuable thing. Not everyone has the ability to tell their story without help. Not everyone recognizes their story. Maybe this is one of my functions on the planet. 

I'm very excited about a new project that's looming in my life. It would be this exact thing and bring together a number of different skills I have to make it happen. I've wanted to do a project like this for years, and haven't been able to because I didn't have the necessary organizational skills to get it started. Fortunately, this time I have a partner who's wonderful at those sorts of things. We'll see if it all comes together. I'm so hopeful it will work. We shall see!

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In Change There is Power

It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power. 
                                                  --- Alan Cohen

It was about two and a half years ago that I first found this quote. It was appropriate then because I was just starting a new job. Now that job is part of my past, but the sentiment behind this quote is still pertinent in my life.

I am almost always "embracing the new" in one way or another, it seems. I don't know that it is courageous in my case, it's simply pragmatic. It's much easier to embrace it than to fight it. 

Embracing the new is better than being swept along by the inevitable. And "the new" is often thrilling. So I think I'll open my arms wide, welcome in the new, and be grateful for all the good in my life.

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Courage

"Courage: To tell the story of who you are with your whole heart."


I heard this during a TED Talk by Brene Brown. She said that is the original definition of courage, which makes sense because the word is from the French word for "heart."

When I first heard her say this it jumped out at me. I wonder how many of us can truly tell the story of who we are with our whole hearts. I know I don't do that casually.

Even though I write here almost every day, and it's something anyone with an internet connection can read, I share only a small part of myself. Or so I think. Some friends who are regular readers tell me I share much more of myself than I think and that if you read here regularly you know a lot about who I am and what I think, feel and believe. That may be true. Obviously, they're things I'm comfortable sharing.

Brown's talk is about vulnerability and how essential it is to a feeling of worthiness, and how that is critical for us to feel like we are loved and we belong. In her research, she said what separates the people who have a sense of love and belonging from those who don't, is that they feel worthy of it.

She says we feel a sense of connection as a result of authenticity. She said we have to let ourselves be seen, deeply seen, vulnerably seen - to believe we are enough - to believe that our vulnerability makes us beautiful - to make connection.

I have been thinking for the past few years that we are less connected with each other all the time. Maybe that's because we're less authentic all the time, too. From the implants in our chins and extensions in our hair, to the loyalty given to the sports teams of schools we never attended and the preference of television shows to real conversation. Maybe this is why people can be close to their family members, but not develop relationships beyond those. After all, our families already know our vulnerabilities so there's not much point in trying to hide them.

I know that I long for meaningful interactions. Perhaps I need to examine closely if I am being vulnerable enough to find them.
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Opening a Space

I was listening to an interview with Italian historian Alessandro Portelli, and he was talking about oral history interviews. He said, "Think of the interview as opening a space."

That is exactly what it boils down to. The memorable story you get at an interview is rarely the one you went in expecting. Of course, if you have a list of prepared questions and don't venture beyond them, you'll never hear that story.

Just this past week I was interviewing someone and although he was a bit reticent at first, as we talked more he opened up and told me some wonderful stories. The space was open, and he walked into it.

It's quite an extraordinary thing when people tell you their stories. I always view it as a precious moment when people share, and I treat their stories with great respect. What could be more personal than someone's story. A truly generous gift.

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The Days

I have been back in Kansas for a couple of days and they have been very, very busy ones. It seems there are always details to attend to in order to keep a life running. Although I try to simplify things like that as much as possible, they pile up nonetheless.

To top it off, there are things I'd like to spend time doing that I haven't yet worked into my schedule. One of the things I want to figure out for 2012 is how to put time into the week for things that fall into the "enjoy life" category.

I feel I'm at a real crossroads, a time of positive change, and I need to be present and aware at all times.
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Quote of the Day

"The world is rich with messages."
                          --- Elizabeth Lesser

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Finding Spirituality through Art, Nature and Ritual

I recently heard Reverend Ed Bacon say he believes there are three things that help people find spirituality.

• Nature 
• Art 
• Ritual 

All of those are true for me. And I seek more opportunities for all of them constantly. When I think about some of the most meaningful times in my life they have generally involved one or more of these things. 

Although I am not an "outdoors kind of girl," I do find nature a very moving experience. Being in Muir woods on a beautiful morning, sitting by a stream alone one afternoon, being surrounded by the quiet of trees on an all day excursion are all memorable moments.

 I've had a passion for art since I was in college and "discovered" it. I always say I have to have time to "commune with the art," and that's really what it is for me - a time to interact on a deep level with what I'm experiencing. Monet's work impacts me more than other other, I think, although I love all art.

Ritual is part of what I like about Catholicism. Although I'm not Catholic, I do appreciate that the church has preserved rituals for centuries. I have my own rituals for a variety of things and find them a comfort and a grounding process.

All of these things connect me with something larger than my individual life, and I think that's what we're all looking for - a connection. I need more of all of these things in my daily life.
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Happy New Year

I spent a large part of yesterday journaling about the year that was passing, and thinking about the year that was coming. Being clear is critical for me. I'm trying to start 2012 with a plan and a purpose. We shall see how the year unfolds.

May 2012 be one of happiness and fulfillment for all of us.

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Send Love to All

Here on the last day of the year I'm mulling over the months past and looking for guidance to approach the ones ahead. I picked up last year's Christmas gift from my friend, Martha, a copy of Dr. Wayne Dyer's book, "10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace," and turned at random to page 108/109.

There I read:
First, you have to get past blame. Then you have to learn to send love to all, rather than anger or resentment. The story is told of the enlightened master who always responded to outbursts of criticism, judgement, and ridicule with love, kindness and peace. One of his devotees asked him how he could possibly be so kind and peaceful in the face of such disparaging invective. His response to the devotee was the question: "If someone offers you a gift, and you do not accept that gift, to whom does the gift belong?" The answer leads you to the extra mile. Ask yourself, "Why would I allow something that belongs to someone else to be a source of my resentment?" As the title of a popular book says, "What you think of me is none of my business."


"Send Love To All" seems a worthy approach a new year. It also seems a large task. But bearing that in mind may help me be a kinder person in the coming months.

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Lessons Learned and the New Year Looming Large

The New Year is looming large and I confess I've not devoted enough time to thinking about the previous 12 months and looking ahead to the next 12.

I do not make resolutions. They are generally set aside in a very short amount of time, and only leave the feeling of failure lingering in their wakes. No, thank you. Life comes with enough things to worry over and feel bad about. I'm not going to willingly create more. I find the whole custom of resolutions to be folly.

However, I do spend some time each year thinking about the lessons of the year past, and how I'd like things to look in the coming year.

The year of 2011 will certainly go down in my personal history books as the year I learned some lessons. To be more accurate, I had lessons I'd already learned, but ignored, reinforced. I shan't ignore them again. (And, really, how often do you get to use the word, "shan't?")

1. When your gut tells you that you can't trust someone, you know you really can't. Proceed with caution. (I did, and it worked out okay for me, but it was a lesson repeated nonetheless. I should pay attention.)
2. Loyalty is a scarce commodity. (I already knew this one, too. It's just hard for me to fathom because I am a fiercely loyal person. But, so noted, I got it!)
3. Some people will lie to you when the truth would suit better. (Mama always said this, and I've witnessed it in action multiple times this year. People who should, do not keep their Facebook feeds private. Blissfully, I've not been a victim of this - only a witness. But it is worthy of notice.)
4. Your true friends will support you in whatever hare-brained idea you may have that has a chance, but they will reel you back before you get too close to the edge if it's really just nuts. (Thank you. I know it's a fine line to walk with me sometimes!)
5. When you know what you want, it's a lot easier to get it than when you're unsure. (Being clear remains a struggle for me, but it is a necessity.)
6. The universe is incredibly generous to those who work hard.
7. I am a very, very, very lucky girl in many different ways. (I already knew this, too, but it has been reinforced repeatedly. I am grateful for the goodness in my life.)

I think that's enough of a list to start with. It needs to be refined and rethought and reconsidered. Something perhaps best done tomorrow, as this year comes to an end.

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Happiness

This is a great article about happiness and some of the ways to get there!

http://huff.to/rTIch2

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Quote of the Day

  Laws alone can not secure freedom of expression; in order that every man present his views without penalty there must be spirit of tolerance in the entire population.

                                                       ----- Albert Einstein

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A Little Bit More

And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, 

stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? 

It came without ribbons. It came without tags. 

It came without packages, boxes or bags. 

And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. 

Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. 

What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. 

What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.

                     --- Dr. Seuss

Over the years I have done some extravagant Christmas decorating. Not the kind that would net me on the Home and Garden Channel's extreme home shows, but more than the average person does. I think I've created some really beautiful trees. I love to decorate, send cards, entertain and do all of the things some people deem "shallow" at Christmas time. 

For the past couple of years I wasn't able to do my usual decorating and this year I was planning to go all out. But, circumstances beyond anyone's control resulted in a change of plans. So, I went from quite extravagant decorating with at least one tree in every room, to not having even a simple tree this year - a first for me. But, it was the best thing for me this year. 

But, it seemed to surprise a couple of people that I was still in a holiday mood. I was singing carols, looking at lights, enjoying being a Secret Santa at K-Mart, and being my generally bubbly, Christmas-loving, self. 

It was only after the third person in my world mentioned to me how great it was that I was enjoying the holiday season, even though I didn't have a tree up, that I realized I've never explained how it works for me. I enjoy Christmas every day of the year. 

I always leave at least one Christmas thing out all year because I think every day needs a little Christmas in it. I was so touched when I learned my friend, Matthew, had adopted this sentiment as well and always had a little Christmas out. One of the things I leave out all the time in a tiny nativity I bought when we were in El Salvador together. 

Christmas to me isn't about the trees, the matching packages with pretty ribbon, and the stacks of cards. It's not about the beautiful light displays and the wonderful music. Those are just visible manifestations of the spirit of Christmas. And they're reminders to me - and everyone else - that we are going to take a few moments and pause and rejoice and sing and gather and celebrate.

Because they serve as wonderful reminders of the beauty of the Christmas spirit, I find them enriching. I don't find them shallow. I don't find them commercial. I don't find them crass. The trees, lights, cards, treats and all the rest remind me of the less tangible things about the holiday season. They remind me to think of others when I send their cards or put an ornament on the tree that they gave to me. It's an opportunity to gather with people and make their favorite treats. The beauty of all those ornaments together on the trees reminds me that life is a tapestry, and Christmas is a time to appreciate and celebrate that. All of these things are a physical manifestation of love. And that is what Christmas is to me - celebrating love. Can I do it without those things? Yes. Is it intensified with them? Yes.

I often decorate early, so by December I can just enjoy the holiday season fully. But, it's when everyone else is joining in that it is magnified. What people celebrate may vary, but most of us celebrate something this season. Most will choose gifts for loved ones. They'll be thinking of others. 

While I missed my tree, and I hope 2012 offers the chance to do lots of decorating and cards and all, I already know what the Grinch learned on the mountain that day - Christmas will come regardless.

In fact, it's already here... 

And I intend to keep Christmas, because I find it to embody the best of human nature. 

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Unto Them...

May you feel childlike wonder at all Christmas is...

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50 Trips Around the Sun

In a few hours I will mark 50 trips around the sun. I feel perpetually 28, but the calendar says otherwise.

I have a few gray hairs and so far don't feel the need to dye them back to my natural brown. The day may come. The day may be tomorrow. But for now I'm content.

I have a few lines, but I think I'll just let them be a road map of a life that has been lived. I've not always taken the safe road, and I have no regrets about that. But those rocky roads do tend to lead to a few more gray hairs and a few more lines. But that's okay.

I'm not going to be one of those women who pretends to be something she's not. I'm 50. My body has been moving upon this earth for five decades. It has a little wear and tear. My mind has also been working on this earth for five decades. It's pretty darned interesting.

Not everyone gets to live even one dream, and I've been blessed to watch the world come together like an orchestra with a seasoned conductor to make mine possible more than once.

I've lusted, loved and left. I've sought, stretched and stonewalled. I've given into my whims, and I've done the responsible thing. I've taken off too soon and I've tarried too long. I've longed for, and I've let go of. I've been kissed on the banks of the Nile and given my cares to the confluence of the Ohio and Mississippi rivers. I've bundled up against the cold of the early morning Paris snow, and soaked in the warmth of a long evening in the lushness of Nicaragua. I've prayed alone inside the Pyramid of Unas and with the masses at St. Peter's. I am a very, very, very lucky girl.

The people I've met along the way are incredible. How fortunate am I? I have people in my world I know I can count on in any situation. We may not rely on each other for the small things, but when there's a problem it's like Ghostbusters - Who you gonna call? I have a wide circle of friends and acquaintances who add texture to my existence. I have a friend I've been having lunch with almost every week for nearly 20 years. You build up some trust in that amount of time. That is a commitment. I have my Creative Sisterhood group, and the connections of people I've gone on retreat with. And I've been blessed to have amazing men in my life over the years. If you've read here for very long, you know I keep my private life pretty private, but suffice it to say I've been fortunate. Although I'm not in love at the moment, who knows what tomorrow holds.

It has been a good 50 years. Each decade has had an unintentional focus. My twenties were wild. My thirties were exploratory. My forties were using all I'd learned up until then to come to some new conclusions.

The fifties? Well, we shall see...

And isn't that the most wonderful part of life?

The possibilities...
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Christmas Scenes

From Victoria, Kansas





From Carthage, Missouri

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Down by the Riverside

In the faith tradition I grew up in, there's the concept of water washing away sin. Being dunked in the water is a public profession of faith and symbolizes a cleansing. We used to go to the river for that ritual, and I liked those Sunday afternoon baptisms. I, however, was baptized in a clean, antiseptic "baptismal pool." Well, at least we were told it was cleaner. In reality the Ohio River might have been a better option. I have always wished I had been baptized in the river.

It's ironic that although I grew up within miles of the Ohio and Mississippi, and went by boat in the backwater many times, I'm not sure I've ever been in the river water. It's odd, really. I go visit the confluence of the rivers every time I return to Kentucky, but I can't recall ever wading into them, or even dipping a toe in.



We learn early the river is dangerous, with currents that take grown men under and let them resurface again only when the life is gone from them. Many of us, including me, have family histories that include stories of men who were good swimmers heading out to the river one morning to fish, and not coming home again. But that's not reason enough to keep his brother from going the next day. The mystery draws us near.

We all know those currents carry away things other than men, too. We take our cares, our worries, our sins we confess to no one, and dump them into the river - metaphorically and literally. We surrender the jewelry from men we no longer love to the currents. We give the left over love to the waves to rid ourselves of it so we can love another. We cleanse our minds by letting the waves that lap at the shore carry away our errant thoughts and feelings. Like love, the river may be dangerous, but it's ever enticing as well.

The river draws us back again and again. Even if we don't enter it, we are compelled to go pay our respects. It's a constant, a place we go to for reorienting ourselves. We may be afraid to dip a toe into it, but the river demands our attention nonetheless. And we give it. We have no choice.



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In 2001, I gave pieces of driftwood I gathered at the river to some friends with the following piece I wrote.

I am a person of rivers.

For those of us born to rivers, they are life itself. We speak of them reverently. We fear them. We cherish them. We are drawn to them by a force we cannot comprehend but have no choice but to obey. They flow through our souls. They define us.

We go to the river for strength, for guidance, for solace. We cannot possibly find our way in the world without returning to the river periodically. It beckons to us. We cannot deny its call. We learn at a young age that there's no point in even trying. Not that we want to anyway. The river knows when we are away from it too long. It summons us home.

We gather at the riverside for family celebrations, baptisms, and catharsis. We have rituals, public and private, that are carried out only on those banks.

The confluence of the Ohio and Mississippi Rivers is a place I return to when I've lost my way in the world. I have said prayers of thanksgiving and prayers of entreatment from the same spot. I have sought direction and consolation. I will do both again as long as I walk upon this Earth.

I gathered this driftwood on an April Day of 2001 with the idea of sharing it with a few special friends at Christmastime. I had no idea then how profoundly changed I would be by the end of this year. My life will never be the same as it was that day.

I can't give you the river. I can't even explain its attraction for those of us born to it. But I want to share with you a small token of it. May this driftwood encourage you to visit what restores you.

I hope the holidays are a time of joy for you and yours this Christmas.

PatsyChristmas 2001

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Music you might want to enjoy while thinking about rivers:
The Decemberists "Down by the Water"


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Secret Santa at K-Mart

Reading the stories of "Secret Santas" paying off people's layaway at K-Marts across the country inspired me this week. I posted a link to a story on Facebook and then decided I'd call our local K-Mart to see if they would let people do it. They would. So, I created a Facebook event, just to tell people that and encourage them to do it if they felt inspired to.

By the time I had created the event, a friend had commented on my story link that he would chip in if I wanted to spearhead doing this. I said, "sure," and went and added that to the event. (Thanks, Aaron, for really getting the ball rolling and making this happen!)

Well, what happened was kinda cool. People were incredibly generous. I had friends in four different states who contributed to the fund and today I went out to K-Mart to pay on layaway for some folks. There were seven people total who contributed money and we helped eight families. I know nothing about these folks, other than what was on their layaway.

I have to say that Carol, who helped me at K-Mart, was AMAZING! K-Mart was prepared and had a list of contract numbers on a sheet of paper taped up in case anyone wanted to do a Secret Santa. Carol told me they had about $1,000 each of the last two days with Secret Santas paying layaway.



I had $350 to spend today, and ended up chipping in another $5 to pay off one last one. Carol was so incredibly helpful. She looked up contracts and found ones that were obviously Christmas presents - a few toys here and there, but largely practical things. We bought Barbies, Dora the Explorer toys, a construction set, Cars toys, Mickey Mouse, some preschool educational toys, a journal, and a Captain America figure. We also bought gloves, pajamas, socks, coats, and other clothes. We didn't find the high dollar things you might expect on a Christmas list. It was obvious to me that these folks were looking to put more than a couple of things under the tree.

She was very helpful in finding ones that had been in the system for a while, and been being paid on for some time. Most of ours were from October and early November. One was actually delinquent, but now has just a tiny bit left on it. I like thinking that tomorrow they will get a call that their Christmas is paid for. It was all things for kids. Carol thanked me repeatedly and I told her I would pass the appreciation on to those who made it possible.

In each case I paid off the majority of it, leaving less than five dollars. It has to have something left on the ticket so it stays in the system. K-Mart will call the people and tell them someone has paid on their layaway and how much is left, so they know they can get it for Christmas. Many of the payment histories showed payments of $11, $13, $20. The largest one on any of the tickets we looked at was $40.

I am so incredibly grateful to people for trusting me with their hard-earned money and letting me play Santa. Although I had no experience with layaway until today, I know there are many, many, many good, honest people in this world who just can't get ahead financially. They want the same things for their loved ones that you want - safety, comfort, food on the table, and presents under the tree. I know some are skeptical about such things, but I decided years ago that it's not my place to judge what happens with anything I've given after I've given it. I will just give what I can, when I can, and let it go.

Today was a wonderful way to spend a little time in the Christmas season. Thank you to my friends for giving me such a fantastic gift.

Although no one asked for it, I want to provide a full accounting, which is below:

Here's a screenshot of my paypal for the last week. (I started this a couple of days ago) You can see $300 was contributed. I rarely use my paypal except for buying online, so all of this was for the Secret Santa fund.

I erased people's names so people could remain anonymous if they wish. I 'd love for anyone who's willing to speak up and say they contributed, but I didn't want to publish that information. As you can see, people were very generous. I was not able to contribute nearly as much myself, but it felt good to do what I could. And, if you have only a few dollars to spend and want to do it, you can. At our store, the lower contract numbers are the older accounts.



Additionally, I had some cash contributed, and my own small contribution, making a total of $355. (Was going to be $350 but I chipped in another $5 at the end to pay off one last one.)

Here are the K-Mart receipts. I erased my debit card numbers and approval info, as well as the layaway contract numbers. But I wanted everyone to see that all the money was spent on families. Carol wrote on each one that it was a Secret Santa payment.











Thank you to everyone for giving me the gift of playing Santa today! If there's any accounting I've not included you'd like to see, please let me know.

And a Happy Christmas to all!

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The Myth of the Paperless Office

For at least a decade we've been hearing about the paperless office. I'm a girl who spends practically every waking moment connected by one or more devices and uses technology in almost every aspect of my life. I've been shopping online since we could, paying my bills electronically even before banks started offering "bill pay" services, and signed up for a square.com account while it was still in beta. So why am I surrounded by paper? Some might say drowning in paper?

At Thanksgiving, when I was packing up my "virtual" office to go spend time with my family three states away, it occurred to me that I was sure lugging around a lot more than a laptop. Shouldn't it seem that would be all that would be necessary in this paperless world? After all, I'm backed up to the cloud. In fact, to two different services. But I was carrying something heavy - what was it - oh yes, paper. Paper filed in paper file folders. Why would I need a single piece of paper? Much less enough to need folders?

Well, today the answer dawned on me as I was sorting through stacks of paper on my desk, looking for a note. Because the rest of the world isn't paperless. And until it is, I can't be either. And neither can you, unless you only interact with others who are. Is there any paper at Google? Yahoo? Ebay? I'm betting there is. I bet they have file folders, too.

What I was looking for today was a note to myself that I wrote on paper because I was in an environment where it wasn't convenient to use technology when the information came to me. Why? Because the world isn't paperless. By a long shot. And we have to stop pretending it is going to be. I don't know, but I'm guessing sales of file folders and reams of paper are still quite steady. Perhaps we print more now that we can easily click the printer icon on any webpage.

Let me be clear and say, I'm a big fan of paper. I love paper in all its various permutations. I have many thousands of pages of journals I've filled over the years. I don't want my world to be totally paperless, but my office area should be mostly paperless. We generate things on the computer, email them to people, and then we both print them out and file them. There's something quietly insane about that. And  I think it's ridiculous that I ever have to write a check for anything. But, we do. Why? Because we need a paper trail.

Yes... a paper trail... the very phrase tells me we are a long way from having paperless offices. So, I suppose I'd best get back to dealing with the paper in my supposedly paperless office.

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Christmas Past 12

Love the blue, white and silver combo.
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How Happy People Live

I'm blessed to be a pretty happy person, and I know I've written about things I do here many times. Tonight someone posted this link and I wanted to share it with you. Maybe so you'll realize I'm not just a nut job, and there really is research behind the science of happiness.

http://www.marcandangel.com/2011/08/30/12-things-happy-people-do-differently/

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Charmed Existence

On a daily basis, I consider how incredibly fortunate I am. I have family and friends I love, a comfortable home, my daily bread, good health, and so much more.

I am inspired by the world around me and lucky enough to be able to manifest some of that inspiration into finished projects.

This is a time of year for reflecting, and I seem to come to the same conclusion every year - I lead a charmed existence.
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Christmas Past 11

One of my favorite trees from years past. This was in the dining room one year.
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Quote of the Day

"Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought."        
                           --- biochemist Szent Gyorgyi

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Ask Yourself: Am I Johnny Mathis?

I don't like my Christmas Carols messed with. I like them sung as written, unless you have earned the right to take liberties. The number of people who have earned that is very limited in my world. It's pretty much Johnny Mathis.

 So, after we went to see his Christmas show in November, I created this helpful chart musicians could refer to when planning for holiday recordings.



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