I'm in the Divinity Making Business

I seem to have started a new business. It was kind of accidental, but I'm enjoying it. I'm in the divinity making business! There's a website and everything - divinitybypatsy.com. That's when you know something is all official.

My mom was a championship divinity maker, and I eventually learned to make it as well. This year I entered some into the Kansas State Fair and won a ribbon.

The last few years I've been making it regularly for Greg's mom. Miss Joy sees no reason it shouldn't be enjoyed all year - no need to relegate it to Christmas. She has been encouraging me to start selling it. In fact, she pretty much told me - in her very nice way - that it was unkind of me to not make it available when I was able to make it, because so many people can't. This year I finally decided I would do as she suggested.

For reasons I can't fully explain, I really like to make it. Maybe it's because it's part chemistry, part cooking, and part art. The bonus is that it's not my favorite thing to eat so I'm not tempted by it.

It has been a real delight to share it with people. For people who love it, it's a serious treat. It feels very nice to be able to make people happy with a little confection!
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Being Engaged in Life

Kenny Rogers threw me this autographed 
tambourine from the stage during his 
2010 Kansas State Fair show.

A dear friend is encouraging me to write a book that is, in part, a guide for how to be engaged in life. Of course, each of us is just living our own life. We don't have the benefit of understanding what's going on in other people's heads and hearts.

But many people over the years have commented that I take a different approach to life than many people do. I make significant effort to create my life, including everything from visioning retreats to setting priorities. While we can't foresee what will happen, we can at least give some energy to what we'd like to have happen.

As we were discussing this idea over dinner one night I said, "Well, Kenny Rogers doesn't throw you an autographed tambourine from the stage if you're not engaged." With the sweep of a perfectly manicured nail, she motioned toward the paper I had out and said, "See, that's a chapter."

I'm mulling this over, and it will certainly be part of my visioning for the coming year. We'll see what develops. I'm flattered Martha believes I have anything of value to offer in this regard.

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Flash Mob for 12-12-12-12-12-12

What I did today...



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Mannheim Steamroller Concert

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If You Were Here by Jen Lancaster

“If You Were Here,” by Jen Lancaster, chronicles how author Mia and her husband buy and renovate the home used in the movie, “Sixteen Candles.” She is infatuated with the house because of this, which leads her to overlook some minor details, such as the house is crumbling. The renovation journey includes neighbors you wouldn’t want to have, workmen and their less-than-calendar-based sense of time, and an ever-creeping deadline for her Amish-zombie-teen-romance. 

This is a work of fiction, and a departure from Lancaster’s usual biographical works. Regardless, it’s funny, as her writing always is.

Although I’ve never taken on a renovation project this large, I do live in an older home. While this is technically fiction, some of the situations may seem like startlingly accurate journalism to anyone who has attempted to bring a home back from the brink.

Just like in her auto-biographical books, Lancaster makes you simultaneously wonder how anyone could make this many poor decisions in such rapid succession, and wish you had the guts to do it yourself.

Everything Jen Lancaster writes makes me:

1.  Laugh uproariously.
2. Lament I’m not as funny as she is.
3. Want to be part of her (somewhat dysfunctional) inner circle.

Aside from the teensy-weensy problem that she doesn’t know I exist, I’m not sure I could keep up with Jen and her friends. I don’t really drink wine. I am, however, an excellent designated driver. I like to believe this compensates for my lack of love for the fruits of the vine.

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Joplin Christmas Windows

Joplin has a window decorating contest for downtown businesses, and their city hall features a series of large window displays, some of which are animated. They unveil them all at once, and it's apparent such things are just as magical for children today as they were when such things were more common. 

Some downtown residents add to the festivities with their own decorations. These folks can look down onto the windows in city hall, which must be lovely.

Many of the downtown businesses are decorated. It's very festive and lends a wonderful feel to being in the heart of the city.

The lamp posts are all decorated, too.

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Treasure from Election Class at Syracuse

At the Smalltown State of Now Conference, I learned about Election Class at Syracuse University. (website here and #electionclass on twitter) It was a college course looking at the impact of social media on elections. The class included a mock election, and it generated its own party, that featured this unique symbol.

During the Smalltown presentation, they mentioned these stickers. I immediately tweeted I needed one. J.D. Ross tweeted he'd see if he could find one for me. It arrived in the mail yesterday. How cool is that?!?!?

This beauty will have a place of honor in my office, which is where I collect all weirdly wonderful things!

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Holiday Gatherings

Thanksgiving is over for 2012, but it has kicked off a few weeks of celebrating with family and friends. It's a time for remembering loved ones no longer with us at the table, and gathering new folks together.

Holidays are a wonderful opportunity to connect with people. Although it's natural to think of family, I encourage you to invite others to share your holiday tables, too.

Although I didn't spend the Thanksgiving holiday in my own home, and therefore it wasn't my place to invite anyone, I have in the past. Sharing the bounty of your holiday table is a great way to enrich your own experience. Everyone at the table brings a unique perspective that adds to the day.

Consider who in your world might be able to join us in the next few weeks.

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Lounging with Lanna Lee - I hope I didn't embarrass myself

A couple of weeks ago, I made a new friend - Lanna Lee, from Maine. She was in Hutchinson for the State of Now Smalltown Conference and we spent a little time together. A few things happened as a result.

1. I started seriously considering coloring my hair. Yes, I know, you listened to me whine about the gray hair until I finally bought some hair dye. Then I let it sit in the cabinet for four years without doing anything, except whining more about gray hair. But, that's not the kind of color I'm thinking of. Lanna has shocking pink hair! It is fabulous! I'm not sure I can rock it like she does, and I'm certain I don't have the guts to go all pink. But, I'm thinking I may add a little color to the ends. Then if I hate it I can cut if off. I know - no commitment - I'm weak in such matters. Lets just say I've become somewhat familiar with the splat and manic panic websites and leave it at that. However, there is no hair dye in my home at the moment.

2. I was a guest on her podcast, appropriately named, "Lounging with Lanna Lee." Generally they're about 30 minutes long. I talked about twice that long. Imagine that - me being verbose. She was kind enough to let me ramble. It was so much fun I forgot we were doing something that would be out there for the world to hear. But, now it is.  Frankly, I'm too terrified to listen to it. Goodness knows what I said. I was just talking. And then talking some more. And then some more. Lanna was just too kind to say, "uh... yeah... right... well, thanks so much..." Regardless, it's out there - now available. I'm just going to hope I didn't embarrass myself.

Listen here if you so desire:


3. Lanna reminded me how much I love interviewing people, and rambling on myself. Makes me think about reviving my old podcast. Who knows what might happen... I certainly didn't know I'd end up talking about everything from visioning retreats to my mother's death with someone I barely knew, to let people I've never even met listen in. But I did. And heaven help me, I found it fun.

See more at http://lannalee.com/2012/11/21/lll036-patsy-terrell-its-so-fun-to-be-me/, including what I have now dubbed the "fun bio."

And someone please tell me I didn't embarrass myself.
(Note to self: You should probably determine if you've embarrassed yourself before you point people to the very thing where you might have embarrassed yourself.)

In that photo above that Lanna took that I shamelessly "borrowed" from her website, you can see the ADORABLE little couch you get as a gift for being on the podcast. And, she makes them herself. Love it!

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Getting Your Book into Bookstores

Authors are obsessed with getting their books into bookstores. They believe this will be the key to making sales. After all, bookstores are in the business of selling books. Makes perfect sense.

Except it doesn't.

Instead of being focused on getting your book into bookstores, start thinking about getting your book into the hands of readers.

People in all kinds of businesses don't really understand who their customer is. If you're an author, your customer is the reader, not the bookstore. The bookstore is the middle-man. They may be an incredibly pleasant middle-man, and middle-men have their places, but they are not your customer. That is the reader. The reader is also their customer. As you can see, readers are really powerful entities in this equation.

I work with a number of authors, handling various public relations tasks for them from helping build a social media platform to generating their newsletters, blog posts, mailers, and other assorted chores. Many authors just want to write, and not spend time marketing. Unfortunately, that's not really very feasible these days.

You will either spend a lot of your time marketing, or hire someone else to do it, and even then it will require your attention. It's just the ugly truth of business today - any kind of business. This is acutely felt in the book industry. Unless you are a proven author with a stellar track record at a big publishing house, you are likely to be spending a lot of what used to be your writing time on marketing.

If you are an author who has decided to self publish, or work with a publishing house outside the major ones, you'd better decide marketing is your second favorite thing - right below writing. Frankly, it probably is far higher on the list than re-writing, and we all have to do that, so just dig in and enjoy.

But, I guarantee, if you create a demand for your book, bookstores will become very interested in carrying it. Despite the obstacles, if they're having potential customers walk in every day and ask about buying a copy of "Polly's Last Chance for Pomegranates," they'll beat a path to your door, or at least your inbox.

However, don't hold your breath on that one. Because those customers are likely to just order the book and have it shipped directly to them, never interacting with a bookstore. In fact, for many people, it's nearly impossible to shop at a local bookstore because there no longer is one. That's a pity, but it's the reality.

For those lucky enough to still have bookstores, please support them in any way you can. Buy books there, suggest others do the same, and give them some love. Understand that rent is high and shelf space is limited and manpower is scarce. Just having the energy to order, rotate stock, and handle business is overwhelming for many bookstores. The people who work in bookstores tend to be readers, and they can offer great suggestions for books. Maybe you want to give them a copy of your book so they're familiar with it.

I wish I had a better answer. I adore bookstores, but this post is about authors and how to get your book out into the world. Bookstores would be a wonderful, logical option except their business model is not geared to today's publishing market. So, consider how much time it will take you to swim upstream on that. And realize that while you're doing that, you're wasting energy you could be devoting to reaching your real customer, the reader.

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Election Night

Tuesday night I went to a watch party for a local ordinance protecting the rights of gay, lesbian and bisexual people to not be fired or lose housing because of their sexual orientation. I was in favor of the ordinance because I don't see why you wouldn't want people to have basic civil rights. It did not pass. The "no" vote won 57%.

Obviously, on the same night that the first openly gay woman was elected to congress, and multiple states approved gay marriage, Hutchinson is on the wrong side of history. I was so hoping this would pass because it would signal an openness in this community.

Greg took this photo of me saying goodbye to Jon, who spearheaded the local "Vote Yes for Fairness" campaign. We were pretty sure it wasn't going to pass at that point, but we didn't know for certain. Jon is someone I really admire.

What I didn't realize at the time, is that the local newspaper photographer also captured the moment and it went out on the AP, although it didn't run in our local paper. A friend sent me this link to a story in the Wichita Eagle. It could have been in other papers, too.


Before the election, I wrote a letter to the editor of our local paper, but got it in too late. I've posted it below so you can read it if you wish.

Letter

A war has been raging in Hutchinson the last few months. Like everyone else, I have taken a side. Rarely do I feel my position is the only correct one, but in this case, we must support civil rights for everyone, or they’re not certain for anyone.

It was 50 years ago that the US was involved with another civil rights movement. I don't know what I would have done then, but I hope it's what I'm doing now - standing on the side of fairness for everyone.

I’ve been thanked for supporting this issue when it doesn’t personally affect me. But I contend it affects all of us. To be a growing, thriving community we must extend basic rights to every citizen.

Hutchinson, do you want to be mired in the past with the Bull Conner mentality, or are you ready to create a better world? You have a chance to be extraordinary. Please take it. Vote “yes” for fairness today.

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Blessed

I spent today at the computer for the most part, trying to get some projects underway and some wrapped up, while contemplating new things.

I just got word that a grant proposal I had written for an oral history project was not funded. Not great news on the surface, but I can only assume there must be something else wonderful I am supposed to do with that time and energy. Who knows what that might be.

The last few months have been an exercise in trusting the universe. I have to say, the universe has been doing a far more spectacular job with daily life than I've managed in the last few decades. In the process, I'm learning it's wise to trust, to prepare, to work, and above all - to be grateful for the opportunities that come my way.

I feel so incredibly blessed. Work I really enjoy keeps finding its way to me, and other fun surprises I could never have foreseen, also arrive with regularity. Meanwhile, new projects loom on the horizon that will offer even more flexibility to my life.

I'm a lucky, lucky girl.

Thank you to everyone who has been part of this journey. Your encouragement, kindnesses and support are appreciated. I feel certain the next chapters will be even more thrilling and I hope you'll share in the joy.
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Religious Freedom

"Religious Freedom" is a phrase often bandied about these days. As best I can tell it refers to the idea that people will not able to practice their religion as they wish if some unknown, unnamed, and highly unlikely event occurs. This nebulous events seems to be most often connected to a politician people believe to have far more power than I've ever witnessed from any politician of any party at any time.

The only way this is an actual problem is if your "religious freedom" prevents other people from exercising the freedom to live their lives as they wish. No one is trying to keep you from attending the religious community of your choice, at the time of your choosing, and doing as you wish within the confines of it. Now, if you happen to be sexually abusing altar boys then, no, the fact that you're doing it within the walls of a church does not make it okay. It's still illegal. But you are welcome to gather, pray and worship as you wish, outside of these rather major issues.

However, you are not welcome to try and impose your religious beliefs on others. That is where the difficulty seems to come in. Those who are constantly worried about "religious freedom" are mostly concerned about how they will force others to share their viewpoints. Much like yelling "fire" in a crowed theater, this is over the line.

Nothing has really changed in the last few decades along these lines, except that fewer people believe in God. I can't help but think it's from watching His professed followers exercise their "religious freedom" to spread their personal hatreds in His name.

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Quote of the Day

When you feel fear... If you act on it, it will create pain.
--- Gary Zukav

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Happy Halloween!

A photo from last year's Halloween fun prompts me to be thinking about popcorn balls. When I was a kid my sister-in-law Mary Ann's mother always made popcorn balls. Oh my goodness I loved Mrs. Cooper's popcorn balls.

It occurs to me I've never made popcorn balls. Obviously, I need a recipe for them. Something to look for...

Wish I had Mrs. Cooper's recipe. I doubt anything will ever compete with those memories.
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Gifts and Grace

Lately I have been the recipient of some lovely gifts from friends. I will be posting photos eventually, but haven't had a chance to take them as I've been occupied with other things. It's so nice to be remembered by people, and that people take notice of the things you love.

I've also had some time lately to be with people I enjoy. Spending time with artist friends always inspires me. Just talking with people who see the world differently causes me to reconsider things and come to new conclusions.

There is something magical about the existence of pure creativity. It is a force in the world that manifests in thousands of ways, if we allow it. And I want to always allow it in my life.

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Late Night Double Feature Picture Show aka Rocky Horror

Last night we went to Wichita to a midnight showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. It has been awhile since I've been to one, but it was even more fun than I recall.

There were lots of people dressed up, including this group that allowed us to snap a photo after the show. We got there just in time for the show because we had another event before it, so we didn't get a chance to see all the costumed folks before.

It's good to know there are folks on the prairie who appreciate the fun of a good Rocky Horror experience. It was at the Orpheum, which is a wonderful old building - complete with these lamps.

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Vintage Hankies

Pretty things have been finding their way to me lately. I've always loved vintage hankies but it seems they love me now, too. I keep running across them in quantity. What is a person to do except bring them home?

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Presenting at Conference

This morning I spoke about social media to the Kansas Museums Association. I did it a couple of years ago, but this was a different presentation. I'm starting to have quite an assortment of them.

It was in Newton so I made a stop at the Et Cetera shop in Newton, and had lunch at Reba's. All in all a nice morning. It's lovely when pleasure can be had - literally - on the way home from business!

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Sunlight and Fronds

We are expecting our first major freeze in the next few days. Ironically, I had the AC back on yesterday and today.

I do love the changing of the seasons. There's something nice about the world around you looking different as the year progresses. It seems soon there will be little green to see in the landscape.

Tonight was Creative Sisterhood and it was a great evening. It's hard to believe we're into our 10th year, now.

Otherwise, I've been occupied with various projects. I was house-sitting for some friends the last few days. Last night was my first night back in my house for a little while. It's good to try on other people's lives every once in awhile. But, I"m happy to be back in my own space.

Work continues to go well. I'm really blessed to have wonderful clients with interesting projects.

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The Problem with Moral Arguments

I've never had a debate class, but I feel certain if I had, that this would have come up. Morals are not the best way to win an argument.

The reason is simple - if we don't share the same morals, then your argument based on morals will have no impact on me. To top it off, if you make morals any part of your argument bullet points, I'm going to discount all of them. Why? Because you've just proven to me you aren't making very wise decisions. Once you've illustrated that it would be rather foolish of me to put much stock in anything you say.

Please be clear - I'm not saying your morals are right or wrong. I'm just saying they're a foolish way to try and win anyone over to your viewpoint. Because, think about it, if I shared your moral code, I'd probably already agree with you, and you wouldn't be trying to convince me.

Simple? Yes.
Necessary to state? Apparently.

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Too Perfect to be Believable

Saturday I gave a presentation about Social Media to a Lions Club gathering in McPherson. When I returned I was greeted with this beautiful sunset. I love how the curve of the clouds mirrors the curve of the trees. If someone had painted it, we'd say it was too perfect to be believable.

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Tact, or the Lack Thereof; and an Apology

In a wide-ranging conversation with a friend today I was telling him a family story and he said, "Ah, a little passive aggressive." I laughed and said, "No, nothing about my family is passive."

I grew up in a "tell it like it is" family. I like that. I understand that. It makes sense to me.

I honestly only learned about 2-3 years ago that you just cannot do that in the "real world." You must learn to preface sentences with, "I think...," and sprinkle them with "maybe" and "perhaps" and "I'm wondering." In communication theory, it's pointed out that women tend to do the later much more than men. Men are more likely to be straight about things, without the tentative language.

While I've learned to do this, it is not natural for me, and it takes a considerable amount of energy to constantly remind myself. So, I probably engage less with the world because it's more tiring. I sometimes just say, "That's up to you," or something similar because I just don't have the energy to couch my words with that "spoonful of sugar." The more urgent the issue is, the less tactful I generally am because - obviously - the previous approach hasn't worked or we wouldn't be having the same conversation again. But I find myself less and less willing to engage in those conversations at all.

Truly, until a couple of years ago, I didn't even understand why people would want this softer style of communication. Frankly, I still don't. If I'm working on a project and someone sees a huge flaw I've overlooked, I'd rather they say, "Hey, this isn't going to work. The blah blah blah is in conflict with the blah blah blah." That seems so much better to me than spending 40 minutes exploring the positives and negatives of it with me, in hopes I'll see the error of my ways. If I had seen the error, I wouldn't have done it this way in the first place.

That said, I do understand it's a kinder, gentler way to approach issues. And we can all use more gentleness in the average day. But, please, if I'm about to make a fool of myself and you see it happening, don't hesitate to stop me. Isn't it kinder to prevent disaster than walk gently toward it?

As with all things, I'm guessing the balance is the key here. And, lets face it, balance isn't my best thing. Ironically, the friend I was speaking with said it has only been in the last couple of years he had learned to speak his mind about anything. I guess confusion comes in all varieties.

All of this said, let me take this opportunity to apologize to coworkers, friends, neighbors, bosses and anyone else I may have crossed paths with in this lifetime who found me "abrasive." It was never my intent to harm you in any way, so I apologize if I did.


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