Houlihans is opening in our revamped Convention Center soon. They had practice runs for the staff today at lunch and dinner and they're doing it tomorrow too. Chamber members could call and make reservations to go for free and try out the menu and give the employees some practice.
So, tonight I met Julie out there and we had dinner. I had the tilapia and she had a chicken salad. Both were really good. I had the cobbler and Julie the mousse, and we both had maragritas. Everything was very tasty. We gave it high marks.
I hardly ever drink and I've had margaritas three times in the last couple of weeks. That's a lot for me - more than I've had in the last three years. I could do without the alcohol in them but I do like the taste. These were really nice and tart, which I like.
I spent all day working on garden tour stuff. The 8th Annual Hutchinson Garden Tour is set for June 19! We have a really interesting mix of gardens this year - from one that's geared to butterflies and birds, to more traditional ones. I'll sell tickets at the Chapman and Masterson homes and have the raffle and drawing at others. We always do refreshments at the Dillon Nature Center. It should be a neat afternoon.
Dean and Kitty Chapman - 405 E. 15th
James and Shirley Masterson - 1711 Wilshire Dr.
Cregg and Diane Lingle - 7206 Holly Way
Stan and Cheryl Wiggins in North Reno County
Guy and Bobbi Gann - 3811 Prairie Hills Dr.
Dillon Nature Center - 3002 E. 30th
Tickets are only $7 for adults and that's good for all the homes. This year I'm doing a raffle for the first time for a piece of jewelry. Dick Westphal designs a piece of jewelry for us and it's always exceptional - about a $500 value. He's a wonderful corporate citizen here in Hutchinson. He has won national design awards - does amazing work. He's very generous with us.
Anyway, I'll be working on that all weekend. I also have to do a little straightening up around my house. It's getting out of control and I need to bring it back from the brink of disaster.
I've decided I'm going to Puerto Rico this summer for a conference so I've got to prepare for that, too. Seems like I'm always trying to juggle more than seems humanly possible.
Friday, June 03, 2005
Thursday, June 02, 2005
Slowing Down Time
I've been tied to my computer keyboard most of the day, trying to get things done for the garden tour. It's on June 19 and I am SOOOO behind. So, nothing I can do about it but work harder. So, that's what I've been doing since early this morning until now. I'm headed to bed soon. Otherwise, I'll get a second wind and be up until 4 a.m.
I did take time for lunch today with Susan N. It's always so fun to see her. I also had to go drop off the rent check for the MHA office space. I thought I was being so smart and had mailed it. Well, in my flurry of thoughts about the garden tour I mailed it to myself. I was quite surprised to get it out of the box today. Anyway, I ran that down to their office.
That's the second stupid thing I found out today that I did recently. I also sent a cookbook review to Kansas Country Living that didn't include the ordering information. So, I put a click on my website for folks. I think maybe I'm thinking about too many things all at one time. Apparently even I have a limit and I've exceeded it.
I really need to slow down time just a little bit. I'm behind. That would help so much if I could only do that.
I did take time for lunch today with Susan N. It's always so fun to see her. I also had to go drop off the rent check for the MHA office space. I thought I was being so smart and had mailed it. Well, in my flurry of thoughts about the garden tour I mailed it to myself. I was quite surprised to get it out of the box today. Anyway, I ran that down to their office.
That's the second stupid thing I found out today that I did recently. I also sent a cookbook review to Kansas Country Living that didn't include the ordering information. So, I put a click on my website for folks. I think maybe I'm thinking about too many things all at one time. Apparently even I have a limit and I've exceeded it.
I really need to slow down time just a little bit. I'm behind. That would help so much if I could only do that.
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Pass the Potato Game
OK... this is a fun little game... at least I think so... but some people think I'm warped... I think it's pretty cool. :)
http://www.passthepotato.com/passedpotato.php?potatoid=050601165452-237735
http://www.passthepotato.com/passedpotato.php?potatoid=050601165452-237735
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Some Good Quotes
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.
-Albert Einstein
Being on a tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
Karl Wallenda (1904-1978):
Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.
-Helen Keller
It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question.
--Eugene Ionesco
"It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult." - Seneca
It is not a bad idea to get in the habit of writing down one's thoughts. It saves one having to bother anyone else with them.
--Isabel Colegate
The darkest places in hell are reserved for those who maintain their neutrality in times of moral crisis. Dante Alghieri
-Albert Einstein
Being on a tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
Karl Wallenda (1904-1978):
Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.
-Helen Keller
It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question.
--Eugene Ionesco
"It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult." - Seneca
It is not a bad idea to get in the habit of writing down one's thoughts. It saves one having to bother anyone else with them.
--Isabel Colegate
The darkest places in hell are reserved for those who maintain their neutrality in times of moral crisis. Dante Alghieri
TV Screws Up The Kids
Well, we all *know* that TV screws up the kids, but it doesn't seem to stop us from planting them in front of it for multiple hours a day. There are shows marketed at two year olds and parents can't buy the associated crap fast enough to reinforce having their kids be quiet for that time they're watching the screen.
Of course, common sense would tell us this is idiotic. A horrible idea. A stupid way to raise a child - or, more accurately, a way to avoid having to raise a child.
Common sense would tell us that those first four years of life - when the brain is developing - DEVELOPING - would be a good time to be exposing it to wonderful things. But, putting a video in is so much easier. Amazing how that frantic pace on the screens keeps their brain occupied - not necessarily developing, just occupied - while we talk on the phone or make a work appointment or write an email.
Think back... into the long ago times... when people raised children without videos and DVDs. It wasn't that long ago. Think back even further into the very long, long, long ago times when people raised their children without TV. Those would be the generations that brought us the light bulb, cars, phones, computers, the space program, and other such things. They also brought us TV. I'm sure they didn't imagine we'd think they'd given us 'round the clock child care.
There's new research now from The University of Washington and Children's Hospital in Seattle that finds - not surprisingly - that the more TV your children watch when they're young, the more difficulty they have paying attention later.
For each hour of television a child watched daily before age four, their risk of having attention problems at age 7 increase by 9%.
So, if the kids are watching the average of 8-10 hours a day of television, it's pretty much a given - 72-90% likely - that they'll be unable to focus when they start school.
Well, gosh, that seems like a good trade off. You get to avoid dealing with your children. They get a rocky start on the education that will have tremendous impact on whether or not they're successful in life.
OK... so... stop reading this blog... go pull your kids out from the front of the TV and take them to the park.
Of course, common sense would tell us this is idiotic. A horrible idea. A stupid way to raise a child - or, more accurately, a way to avoid having to raise a child.
Common sense would tell us that those first four years of life - when the brain is developing - DEVELOPING - would be a good time to be exposing it to wonderful things. But, putting a video in is so much easier. Amazing how that frantic pace on the screens keeps their brain occupied - not necessarily developing, just occupied - while we talk on the phone or make a work appointment or write an email.
Think back... into the long ago times... when people raised children without videos and DVDs. It wasn't that long ago. Think back even further into the very long, long, long ago times when people raised their children without TV. Those would be the generations that brought us the light bulb, cars, phones, computers, the space program, and other such things. They also brought us TV. I'm sure they didn't imagine we'd think they'd given us 'round the clock child care.
There's new research now from The University of Washington and Children's Hospital in Seattle that finds - not surprisingly - that the more TV your children watch when they're young, the more difficulty they have paying attention later.
For each hour of television a child watched daily before age four, their risk of having attention problems at age 7 increase by 9%.
So, if the kids are watching the average of 8-10 hours a day of television, it's pretty much a given - 72-90% likely - that they'll be unable to focus when they start school.
Well, gosh, that seems like a good trade off. You get to avoid dealing with your children. They get a rocky start on the education that will have tremendous impact on whether or not they're successful in life.
OK... so... stop reading this blog... go pull your kids out from the front of the TV and take them to the park.
Monday, May 30, 2005
A Holiday Monday
Well, I've been working in my soon to be library room today. I sponged over some of the funky green color in there and I'm not sure if I like it or not. I think I'll wait for a day or so and see how it strikes me in the daylight. I like the look of the metallics sponged on top of it, but I'm just not sure about the green. It's kind of a funky olive color. I bought it spur of the moment, which is never how I buy paint. Maybe there's a reason. lol
So, I'll see how I like it in the morning. If it doesn't sing, I'll go get more of the base color and paint over it. Better to lose the $20 on paint than all the work of having to redo it. We'll see how I like it in the morning. I'm 50/50 on it right now.
So, that's my big news of the day.
I haven't been out of the house except to hang out and get clothes. I had some left overs from my Wichita trip for brunch and some popcorn for whatever comes between lunch and dinner. I think I do need to fix myself some actual food for dinner. Even though it's almost 10, I haven't had any yet.
I also need to take a bath and get some of the paint off me. I always paint myself in addition to whatever else I'm working on.
One of my other color thoughts is blue and gold in there - an Egyptian theme - I may mix up some colors and try that out and see how I like it too. I think I'm definitely getting another gallon of the Porter paint that is the base color. I was really borderline of having enough and if I put blue on and don't want it I doubt I'll have enough to cover that up and finish up in there. We'll see.
Maybe in the morning I'll think it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. lol
I do like the woodwork I've gotten to being that bright white. I'd prefer it be natural but I just don't have the energy to attempt that so bright white it is. What was in there was so nasty that this is a dramatic improvement. Now, if I can just decide about the green color. We'll see...
For the rest of the time before I go to bed I have to do some MHA things. I'm behind!
So, I'll see how I like it in the morning. If it doesn't sing, I'll go get more of the base color and paint over it. Better to lose the $20 on paint than all the work of having to redo it. We'll see how I like it in the morning. I'm 50/50 on it right now.
So, that's my big news of the day.
I haven't been out of the house except to hang out and get clothes. I had some left overs from my Wichita trip for brunch and some popcorn for whatever comes between lunch and dinner. I think I do need to fix myself some actual food for dinner. Even though it's almost 10, I haven't had any yet.
I also need to take a bath and get some of the paint off me. I always paint myself in addition to whatever else I'm working on.
One of my other color thoughts is blue and gold in there - an Egyptian theme - I may mix up some colors and try that out and see how I like it too. I think I'm definitely getting another gallon of the Porter paint that is the base color. I was really borderline of having enough and if I put blue on and don't want it I doubt I'll have enough to cover that up and finish up in there. We'll see.
Maybe in the morning I'll think it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. lol
I do like the woodwork I've gotten to being that bright white. I'd prefer it be natural but I just don't have the energy to attempt that so bright white it is. What was in there was so nasty that this is a dramatic improvement. Now, if I can just decide about the green color. We'll see...
For the rest of the time before I go to bed I have to do some MHA things. I'm behind!
4:30 and I'm Still Up
It's 4:30 a.m. and I'm still up. And I've accomplished very little tonight, other than computer work, and none of that was critical stuff. I am going to have to break this cycle. I dread going to bed at times like this.
Turquoise? Who Knew?
You are the color turquoise. A fairly tempermental
person, you're either upset or tranquil most of
the time. You can be as calm as your color.
You're a mysterious person, yet somehow
outgoing. You're balanced, simply put. You're
somewhat bold. You're generous and
sophisticated--but never ever snobby. You're
lively and rich in personality and attitude.
You're a beautiful person, aside from the fact
that you're a perfectionist and painfully
honest. But life is good to you!
What color are you? (Amazingly detailed & accurate--with pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla
Sunday, May 29, 2005
House Repairs
I'm thinking about getting some things done to my house this summer.
Last night when I couldn't sleep I was thinking about different rooms and realized that the room I'm working in now is the last room I have that I haven't done anything to. I still have the stairwell and upper hallway, and plenty of finishing things to do in other rooms, but this is my last room that hasn't been touched.
One of the first rooms I worked on was the kitchen - for the obvious reasons. People either love my bright blue and yellow or they look at it and go, "Oh, you haven't worked in here, yet."
Well, yes, I have. See the grease stains running down the side of the cabinet where the stove sat previously. I scrubbed all those off - took, literally, weeks of scrubbing and letting it soak every night with some different harmful chemical on it.
I painted my kitchen blue and yellow because I love Monet's kitchen at Giverny. When I was there I fell in love with the color scheme. Thank goodness I went years ago when you could actually SEE the house without your view being blocked by the hundreds of other tourists inside while you were. Obviously, my blue and yellow are a bit more brilliant, but I love the combo.
Every Dec. 19 I take pix of my house to chart my progress. That's the day I closed on it so that's the day I chose to do pix. Of course, I'm always decorated for Christmas then so it's all the better for me to do it then.
Last night when I couldn't sleep I was thinking about different rooms and realized that the room I'm working in now is the last room I have that I haven't done anything to. I still have the stairwell and upper hallway, and plenty of finishing things to do in other rooms, but this is my last room that hasn't been touched.
One of the first rooms I worked on was the kitchen - for the obvious reasons. People either love my bright blue and yellow or they look at it and go, "Oh, you haven't worked in here, yet."Well, yes, I have. See the grease stains running down the side of the cabinet where the stove sat previously. I scrubbed all those off - took, literally, weeks of scrubbing and letting it soak every night with some different harmful chemical on it.
I painted my kitchen blue and yellow because I love Monet's kitchen at Giverny. When I was there I fell in love with the color scheme. Thank goodness I went years ago when you could actually SEE the house without your view being blocked by the hundreds of other tourists inside while you were. Obviously, my blue and yellow are a bit more brilliant, but I love the combo.Every Dec. 19 I take pix of my house to chart my progress. That's the day I closed on it so that's the day I chose to do pix. Of course, I'm always decorated for Christmas then so it's all the better for me to do it then.
Photographs
I'm thinking tonight about photographs and how they capture different moments in our lives and how those moments tell a story of who we are. I'm thinking about what photographs would tell the story of my life up to now if I could only chose a few. If they were all scanned in, I'd show them here but they're not all in the computer, so I'll just share a couple.
Of course, something from childhood. This isn't especially meaningful - I don't even remember it - I'm guessing I was turning 4. But you have to have something from childhood, of course.
Going to Egypt by myself in 1999 was a turning point in my life in many ways. It was, truly, life changing - in every sense of the word. It made me think of myself, travel and experiences in a different way. I won't go into the details here, as I've never shared them with anyone and am not about to start by putting it on the world wide web, but that trip changed who I am and how I move in the world. It was when I really became "me" again after a relationship had ended over a year before. There are some, of course, who think "me" is a dangerous thing to be (hi, Leah!). But, we have to be ourselves.
There are other photos I can think of that illustrate moments for me, but I don't have them handy. It's an interesting concept... maybe something I should devote some time to.
Mail Art Call on Anxiety
One of the things I do in my spare time is Mail Art. It's a movement that believes that art should be available to everyone.
Last year I did the first ever Mail Art exhibit in Hutchinson. My friend, Diana, hosted it at The Dancing Grouse (www.thedancinggrouse.com). You can see last year's exhibit by clicking on the link below. If you want to read more about mail art, google it and you'll find plenty to amuse yourself.
This is the call I have out now. It's fascinating to see what you get and from where.
Send Mail Art that illustrates ANXIETY.
Entries should be postcards, 4x6 inches, any media.
See last year's exhibit at http://www.mharenoco.org/mailart2004.htm
No Jury, No Fee, No Return, Documentation Provided.
Deadline is September 12, 2005
Exhibit will be held in the fall.
Send to:
Patsy Terrell
Mental Health Association
PO Box 2021
Hutchinson KS 67504-2021
Last year I did the first ever Mail Art exhibit in Hutchinson. My friend, Diana, hosted it at The Dancing Grouse (www.thedancinggrouse.com). You can see last year's exhibit by clicking on the link below. If you want to read more about mail art, google it and you'll find plenty to amuse yourself.
This is the call I have out now. It's fascinating to see what you get and from where.
Send Mail Art that illustrates ANXIETY.
Entries should be postcards, 4x6 inches, any media.
See last year's exhibit at http://www.mharenoco.org/mailart2004.htm
No Jury, No Fee, No Return, Documentation Provided.
Deadline is September 12, 2005
Exhibit will be held in the fall.
Send to:
Patsy Terrell
Mental Health Association
PO Box 2021
Hutchinson KS 67504-2021
Saturday
I took off for Wichita this afternoon, just to get out of the house and out of town. For some reason, a change of scenery really helps my mood. I need all the mood lifters I can come up with these days.
I stocked up on some art supplies I was running low on.I'm still thinking about things I want to have in stock before any art shows. I'm thinking about going up to the studio for a while, but I'm also tired so may just head on to bed. Being sad is exhausting.
It was a gorgeous day today - perfect for folks who are at the lakes enjoying this first summer weekend.
I stocked up on some art supplies I was running low on.I'm still thinking about things I want to have in stock before any art shows. I'm thinking about going up to the studio for a while, but I'm also tired so may just head on to bed. Being sad is exhausting.
It was a gorgeous day today - perfect for folks who are at the lakes enjoying this first summer weekend.
Saturday, May 28, 2005
Comments about Mama
Many people have written to me about the post regarding my mom. I decided to respond in a separate post since people read at different places, and some of the comments were private and not online.
First of all... thank you for taking time to read, share in those thoughts, and to write. Many of you have written about your own loved ones and I can tell you that when the time comes, it's often obvious what to do. It may not be what you want to do, but you know what to do.
It is an honor to attend the dying. I am not certain I did well at it, but I did the best I could. I am so thankful for nurses and doctors and aides who help those of us less knowledgable through the process.
My mother's neurologist was incredible. My family was amazing. The large circle of friends who surrounded us gave us comfort.
I will remain forever grateful that my brothers and I agreed to not take any extraordinary measures for my mom, and that we have no regrets. She would not have wanted a feeding tube or anything of that nature, and neither did we.
The medical staff was surprised that we could let go, but we had all had great experiences with Mama, and had expressed our love for each other many times.
As I told a nurse the last afternoon my mother was alive when she asked if we wanted to let her come out from the morphine... "No... we want her to be comfortable. No one has anything they need to say and no one has anything they need to hear. Keep her comfortable." Thankfully we are all at peace with that even four years later.
We were blessed to have her as a mother. It would have dishonored her to keep her "alive" in only the most technical sense, longer than was meant to be. She taught us better.
First of all... thank you for taking time to read, share in those thoughts, and to write. Many of you have written about your own loved ones and I can tell you that when the time comes, it's often obvious what to do. It may not be what you want to do, but you know what to do.
It is an honor to attend the dying. I am not certain I did well at it, but I did the best I could. I am so thankful for nurses and doctors and aides who help those of us less knowledgable through the process.
My mother's neurologist was incredible. My family was amazing. The large circle of friends who surrounded us gave us comfort.
I will remain forever grateful that my brothers and I agreed to not take any extraordinary measures for my mom, and that we have no regrets. She would not have wanted a feeding tube or anything of that nature, and neither did we.
The medical staff was surprised that we could let go, but we had all had great experiences with Mama, and had expressed our love for each other many times.
As I told a nurse the last afternoon my mother was alive when she asked if we wanted to let her come out from the morphine... "No... we want her to be comfortable. No one has anything they need to say and no one has anything they need to hear. Keep her comfortable." Thankfully we are all at peace with that even four years later.
We were blessed to have her as a mother. It would have dishonored her to keep her "alive" in only the most technical sense, longer than was meant to be. She taught us better.
Asia and Its Infected Birds
Once again, we're hearing about some terrible strain of bird flu from Asia. What in the hell is up with Asia and its birds?
Every few months the world is suddenly in danger of dying from some new strain of bird flu in Asia. Are birds everywhere else just healthier? What is the deal? Why are Asian birds so deadly?
They're talking about a pandemic flu - meaning we don't have any protection from it, unlike various other flu strains.
And... of course... there's a shortage of the vaccine... well, there isn't even a vaccine... but they're talking about once they do get one, there won't be enough of it.
It seems we need to go to the source and deal with these birds... they seem to be a continual source of harm.
I'm expecting a Hitchcock cameo at any moment.
Every few months the world is suddenly in danger of dying from some new strain of bird flu in Asia. Are birds everywhere else just healthier? What is the deal? Why are Asian birds so deadly?
They're talking about a pandemic flu - meaning we don't have any protection from it, unlike various other flu strains.
And... of course... there's a shortage of the vaccine... well, there isn't even a vaccine... but they're talking about once they do get one, there won't be enough of it.
It seems we need to go to the source and deal with these birds... they seem to be a continual source of harm.
I'm expecting a Hitchcock cameo at any moment.
Remembering Mama
This was written around this time four years ago about my mother's death a couple of weeks earlier on May 11, 2001. It was sent to friends. I have edited it a bit for publication here but it's basically intact.
Just thought I'd update you on how things are going now that it has been almost two weeks since my mom died. I am feeling both still in shock and dazed and at the same time quite "raw." Yet, for reasons I can only attribute to the prayers of people who are close to God, I am at peace with having lost my mom. Even six months ago I could not have imagined that. It's not that I haven't cried and I'm sure I will for years to come. But there's an overriding sense of joy for having had her as a mother and that she was blessed to not linger at the end. Thank goodness she did not need to teach any of her children how to let her go by holding on any longer.
This is the woman who taught me to make divinity candy - her specialty. Admittedly, the first time I tried it without her supervision it was a mess, but I've learned now. :) This is the mother who when I'd make a mistake in the kitchen with ingredients that I know were scarce at times would just say, "Well, just learn from it and don't do it again." She was always calm and peaceful about such things, even though I know it must have been a hardship at times to even have me - much less be raising me and teaching me things.
This is the woman who calmly told me I could be anything I wanted to be, when such ideas were not popular for little girls. It's the woman who told me to get an education and not ever have to be dependent on anyone for a living - to share my life with a man based on better reasons than that. This is the woman who sewed my senior prom dress so it would be *exactly* like I wanted it. It's the mother who sat by my bed when I was crying and upset over changes in my life that I couldn't even put into words when I was going through so much change at one point in college. It's the woman who's response when I wrecked a brand new, three week old car, was "well, thank God no one was hurt. The car can be fixed. If it can't, it can be replaced. Just thank God no one was hurt." It's not like there was plenty of money for replacing the car, but she crystallized in a few words what was truly important.
I have spent decades praying for Mama to be healthy and with us and then I spent the last few days praying for God to take her and end her suffering - and mine and my family's at watching her. It is just so odd to have that change in attitude. I'm at once fascinated by it, horrified by it and pleased by it. It's compassionate and yet selfish. You find yourself questioning if you want her suffering to end or yours, which is of a completely different kind. In the end, I suppose it doesn't really matter. And, of course, we have no control over how such things will end.
The morning we were going to the hospital, Greg asked if I wanted him to drive because he would drive faster and I said, "no, we'll make it or we won't." I figured if God wanted me to be there I'd be there. I was frightened to be there, frankly. I didn't want to see her gasping for breath. I know that's not very flattering to me but it's the truth. I was scared. Afraid I couldn't handle it. Afraid I'd do something wrong. Afraid. Afraid of things I can't even put words to.
I put myself in the car and headed to the hospital and figured if I was meant to be there I would be. We missed it by a few minutes. I was so glad my brother, Jim, was there with her. He said she had been gasping for about an hour before she died. At the end he told her to just let go and she opened her eyes, looked at him and took two short breaths and died. They were the only breaths she had taken in an hour that weren't gasping rattles.
Obviously he did exactly what was needed. I'm not sure I would have been strong enough to do it. I'm very glad he was there at the end - not just for him and for Mama but for the rest of us too. He was very kind and very caring with her when he was with her at home and he certainly did the right thing as she died.
I come from an area that is old - meaning it is full of common sense wisdom and people accept things that are not scientifically proven. A few years ago, my great uncle died. The lady living in the apartment next to him - my sister in law Mattie's mother - told my mom and me a couple of days later that when she saw him collapsed in the doorway that she knew his wife calling the ambulance was a waste of time because, "death was already upon him."
I've thought about that phrase so many times - it's poetic and yet horrific. But, Mrs. Scott had probably seen death enough times that she recognized it. I truly believe she knew what she was talking about - and obviously she did - he died before the ambulance got there - death was already upon him.
Older people - the ones we're losing now - have a much more personal experience with death than we do. We now do it in hospitals and much more antiseptic surroundings as opposed to our homes. And most of us don't lose children and most of us don't tend our older relatives to the same degree as death approaches. We have a whole medical system to do that and I'm thankful for people who know better than I do what to do. But, people my age (39) don't know about "the death rattle" and we wouldn't recognize death if it were "upon" someone.
I've always heard people say you can smell death. I never believed it until I was with my mom near the end. But on Thursday afternoon, before she died early Friday, I could smell death. I left the hospital a little less than 12 hours before she died. All day that day, the smell had intensified. We kept looking at her legs and fingernails and their color had not changed, but there was a smell in the air. I can't describe it other than to say it was like a decay of some sort. It was as if her body was surrendering itself to a force outside itself - death. It was all around her. I helped the nurse's aide give her a bath and that smell lingered there, regardless of the lotions and potions the aide was using. That smell, above any other, permeated the room. The closer you got to my mom, the stronger it was. I could tell the aide could smell it and knew what it meant too. She came back to the room about every 45 minutes after that to see if we needed anything. I knew she could tell the end was near. When I went in to the room after my mom had died the smell was gone. The only smell near her then was a very, very, very faint scent of violets - the wild kind - like she planted under the shade tree in her front yard.
Well... I didn't intend for this to get so lengthy. I wanted to thank you again for your concern and your prayers. We're all doing OK - better than I expected. If Mama were here, she'd say "Life is for the Living" so I think that's what we're all trying to do - just go on with our lives. Of course, they'll never be the same without her. But, I'll always have a relationship with her - it will just be different. I'll never sew on a button, or stir a cake or send a note that she won't be part of the process. And she will always guide me - just as she did when she was alive.
I was blessed to have a wonderful mother. One who taught me to laugh and to be kind and to stand up for myself. She gave lessons every day simply by the life she led. We should all live our lives in a manner such that as our minister stands over our casket he reads the Proverbs passage about a virtuous woman...
"Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her."
Thanks again for all your help. There truly is solace in the comfort of friends.
Patsy
Just thought I'd update you on how things are going now that it has been almost two weeks since my mom died. I am feeling both still in shock and dazed and at the same time quite "raw." Yet, for reasons I can only attribute to the prayers of people who are close to God, I am at peace with having lost my mom. Even six months ago I could not have imagined that. It's not that I haven't cried and I'm sure I will for years to come. But there's an overriding sense of joy for having had her as a mother and that she was blessed to not linger at the end. Thank goodness she did not need to teach any of her children how to let her go by holding on any longer.
This is the woman who taught me to make divinity candy - her specialty. Admittedly, the first time I tried it without her supervision it was a mess, but I've learned now. :) This is the mother who when I'd make a mistake in the kitchen with ingredients that I know were scarce at times would just say, "Well, just learn from it and don't do it again." She was always calm and peaceful about such things, even though I know it must have been a hardship at times to even have me - much less be raising me and teaching me things.
This is the woman who calmly told me I could be anything I wanted to be, when such ideas were not popular for little girls. It's the woman who told me to get an education and not ever have to be dependent on anyone for a living - to share my life with a man based on better reasons than that. This is the woman who sewed my senior prom dress so it would be *exactly* like I wanted it. It's the mother who sat by my bed when I was crying and upset over changes in my life that I couldn't even put into words when I was going through so much change at one point in college. It's the woman who's response when I wrecked a brand new, three week old car, was "well, thank God no one was hurt. The car can be fixed. If it can't, it can be replaced. Just thank God no one was hurt." It's not like there was plenty of money for replacing the car, but she crystallized in a few words what was truly important.
I have spent decades praying for Mama to be healthy and with us and then I spent the last few days praying for God to take her and end her suffering - and mine and my family's at watching her. It is just so odd to have that change in attitude. I'm at once fascinated by it, horrified by it and pleased by it. It's compassionate and yet selfish. You find yourself questioning if you want her suffering to end or yours, which is of a completely different kind. In the end, I suppose it doesn't really matter. And, of course, we have no control over how such things will end.
The morning we were going to the hospital, Greg asked if I wanted him to drive because he would drive faster and I said, "no, we'll make it or we won't." I figured if God wanted me to be there I'd be there. I was frightened to be there, frankly. I didn't want to see her gasping for breath. I know that's not very flattering to me but it's the truth. I was scared. Afraid I couldn't handle it. Afraid I'd do something wrong. Afraid. Afraid of things I can't even put words to.
I put myself in the car and headed to the hospital and figured if I was meant to be there I would be. We missed it by a few minutes. I was so glad my brother, Jim, was there with her. He said she had been gasping for about an hour before she died. At the end he told her to just let go and she opened her eyes, looked at him and took two short breaths and died. They were the only breaths she had taken in an hour that weren't gasping rattles.
Obviously he did exactly what was needed. I'm not sure I would have been strong enough to do it. I'm very glad he was there at the end - not just for him and for Mama but for the rest of us too. He was very kind and very caring with her when he was with her at home and he certainly did the right thing as she died.
I come from an area that is old - meaning it is full of common sense wisdom and people accept things that are not scientifically proven. A few years ago, my great uncle died. The lady living in the apartment next to him - my sister in law Mattie's mother - told my mom and me a couple of days later that when she saw him collapsed in the doorway that she knew his wife calling the ambulance was a waste of time because, "death was already upon him."
I've thought about that phrase so many times - it's poetic and yet horrific. But, Mrs. Scott had probably seen death enough times that she recognized it. I truly believe she knew what she was talking about - and obviously she did - he died before the ambulance got there - death was already upon him.
Older people - the ones we're losing now - have a much more personal experience with death than we do. We now do it in hospitals and much more antiseptic surroundings as opposed to our homes. And most of us don't lose children and most of us don't tend our older relatives to the same degree as death approaches. We have a whole medical system to do that and I'm thankful for people who know better than I do what to do. But, people my age (39) don't know about "the death rattle" and we wouldn't recognize death if it were "upon" someone.
I've always heard people say you can smell death. I never believed it until I was with my mom near the end. But on Thursday afternoon, before she died early Friday, I could smell death. I left the hospital a little less than 12 hours before she died. All day that day, the smell had intensified. We kept looking at her legs and fingernails and their color had not changed, but there was a smell in the air. I can't describe it other than to say it was like a decay of some sort. It was as if her body was surrendering itself to a force outside itself - death. It was all around her. I helped the nurse's aide give her a bath and that smell lingered there, regardless of the lotions and potions the aide was using. That smell, above any other, permeated the room. The closer you got to my mom, the stronger it was. I could tell the aide could smell it and knew what it meant too. She came back to the room about every 45 minutes after that to see if we needed anything. I knew she could tell the end was near. When I went in to the room after my mom had died the smell was gone. The only smell near her then was a very, very, very faint scent of violets - the wild kind - like she planted under the shade tree in her front yard.
Well... I didn't intend for this to get so lengthy. I wanted to thank you again for your concern and your prayers. We're all doing OK - better than I expected. If Mama were here, she'd say "Life is for the Living" so I think that's what we're all trying to do - just go on with our lives. Of course, they'll never be the same without her. But, I'll always have a relationship with her - it will just be different. I'll never sew on a button, or stir a cake or send a note that she won't be part of the process. And she will always guide me - just as she did when she was alive.
I was blessed to have a wonderful mother. One who taught me to laugh and to be kind and to stand up for myself. She gave lessons every day simply by the life she led. We should all live our lives in a manner such that as our minister stands over our casket he reads the Proverbs passage about a virtuous woman...
"Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her."
Thanks again for all your help. There truly is solace in the comfort of friends.
Patsy
Tree Challenge
The challenge last week was to draw a tree. As usual, I'm behind. And, to top it off, this is a tree I did some time ago. But, Wednesday when I drove down to Quivira to take my mind off the recent breakup, I noticed this tree is no longer standing. It has fallen and is in chunks now.
I loved the look of it and it was one of the first sketches I did in my first Moleskine. I think it's posted on the blog right after I started it at live journal, but I just can't recall. Anyway, I'm using it again because it's already scanned in.
Actually, trees are one of my favorite things to draw and I have multiple ones in my books. But, this one is scanned and so I'm wimping out.
Friday, May 27, 2005
Friday Nights of Holiday Weekends
Friday nights of a holiday weekend are always so wonderful - you have the whole weekend stretching out in front of you, with that extra day tacked on.
Unfortunately for me, this holiday means that people are occupied with family events and I can't call on friends to help me get through these rough days. It's understandable, but it always seems to work out that when I really *need* companionship, which isn't too often, but when I need to be distracted, I cannot connect with anyone. Always seems to be bad timing.
However, tonight I called Terry to see if he wanted to go to the Anchor and he said yes so we had dinner. Terry is a great story teller and can always make me laugh. Tonight was no exception, even though my mind is on my lost love.
Maybe tomorrow I will get in the car and drive somewhere. I should stay home and work on things here but there are so many things here that remind me of my now former bf. He helped me move into this place and did a lot of work on the house. So, his touch is everywhere.
I'd like to get my floors refinished this summer. It would make sense to have it done while I'm gone at some point this summer. I'm thinking about just borrowing money on my credit card to do it - that's often cheaper money than getting it at a bank - and I do need to get them done. We'll see how it all works out...
Unfortunately for me, this holiday means that people are occupied with family events and I can't call on friends to help me get through these rough days. It's understandable, but it always seems to work out that when I really *need* companionship, which isn't too often, but when I need to be distracted, I cannot connect with anyone. Always seems to be bad timing.
However, tonight I called Terry to see if he wanted to go to the Anchor and he said yes so we had dinner. Terry is a great story teller and can always make me laugh. Tonight was no exception, even though my mind is on my lost love.
Maybe tomorrow I will get in the car and drive somewhere. I should stay home and work on things here but there are so many things here that remind me of my now former bf. He helped me move into this place and did a lot of work on the house. So, his touch is everywhere.
I'd like to get my floors refinished this summer. It would make sense to have it done while I'm gone at some point this summer. I'm thinking about just borrowing money on my credit card to do it - that's often cheaper money than getting it at a bank - and I do need to get them done. We'll see how it all works out...
Wild Weekend Ahead
It's not even 7 p.m. and I can tell this is going to be a wild weekend for many. Cars are zooming by my house at high rates of speed with the music blasting. School is out. Summer is officially beginning.
My big start to the weekend is that I'm headed outside to Round Up the weeds in my front flower bed. What can I say, I lead a terribly exciting life here on the plains...
My big start to the weekend is that I'm headed outside to Round Up the weeds in my front flower bed. What can I say, I lead a terribly exciting life here on the plains...
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Goodbye to my Love
Today has been a very sad day. My boyfriend and I have been having the long goodbye for sometime and today was the day we made it official that we're no longer a couple. July 29 would have been 5 years since we met. They say four years is really the difficult time to get through a relationship - not seven - and so it is with us.
I have shared my heart and soul with this man on an intimacy level that I never thought possible for me. I miss him greatly, and will for a long time to come. He is a good, honest, trustworthy, faithful man. I have treasured being the woman he was in love with. He made me want to be a better person.
I went down to Quivira just to get away late in the day but I couldn't really get through the roads because of the recent rain. So I just drove around for a little while, out in the country, in the sunshine. At one point it looked like it was going to rain, which matched my mood, but it was just brief - a few rain drops. I wish I could say the same for my tears falling. My eyes are sore. But, they will heal. As they always do.
As I was coming back into town, a song that sums up my thoughts about such things came on the radio as I was turning onto my street - Garth Brooks' "The Dance." Ironic that it would come on right then. It's such a true song - I would not have missed the wonderful parts of this relationship to avoid the pain of this day and the ones past and the ones to come.
Life seems to come with a hearty helping of relationship pain for many of us. I'm not sure why that is, but I must have been in the front of the line on that one. I'm pretty careful with my heart. I'm 43 and only been in love three times. But, when you consider that there are people in their 40s, 50s, 60s, and older who have never broken up with a boyfriend, who have never ended a relationship, who have never gone through this day, it's rather amazing that at age 43 I'm a veteran. Unfortunately, the fact that I have experience doesn't make it hurt less.
I don't have a lot of friends who can relate to this. But, I don't really want to talk anyway - it will just make me breakdown - and I really don't like to do that in front of people. I keep things like this private, generally. There's a reason they call it a "private life." I really debated mentioning it here, but thought it only fair to those of you who read regularly that I share a bit of my true personal life with you.
Trish is the only girl friend I've talked to about the situation prior to this. Besides, it's not like there's anything to say really. It's over. It hurts. It will hurt for a long time. And then it will hurt less. And then it will settle into a dull hurt that things couldn't be different. Then I'll focus on the good and let the negative fade away. And hopefully I'll learn.
You cannot make someone feel something for you that they no longer feel. So, there's no point trying. You can wonder why and what happened, but you'll just make yourself crazy. So, best to just accept it - get your questions answered if you can - but just accept. I have many questions. I don't know if he will answer them for me or not. Maybe. It would help give me closure but that is a gift one can only request, not expect.
With every relationship it is its own special creation, made by the two of you, unique and precious. And you never know that the last time you kiss or the last time you make love is going to be the last time until later. You don't know it is the last time you'll whisper good night into the darkness while holding each other close,or wake up feeling him close, until later. That's why each interaction with everyone in your life must always be treated as the last. All relationships end by choice or by death, and we never know when it will be.
I wanted him to know that I loved him - truly, madly, deeply - and that I did the best I could in this relationship. I gave it all I had to give and that wasn't enough. I'm not sure where that leaves me at - other than obviously alone for quite some time. But one doesn't have more to give than their "all" and I can honestly say I didn't hold back. I believe in giving 100% to everything - I never want to fail because I did something part way. Well, I loved fully and it still failed. That hurts. But at least I know I did the best I could. It just wasn't enough.
People's lives change, and sometimes there's no way to bring two of them together. There was a large age difference between us - 17 years. We are at different places in our lives. The age wasn't always an issue - he was more mature than his years, I was very "young" in my attitudes toward things - so it worked. But, he has things to do that twenty-somethings do, like build a career, and I don't fit into that. I wish I did, but in his mind I don't, and there's nothing I can do about that.
Whenever a relationship ends, I have to have some time by myself, to rediscover who I am as an individual. At some point in the future I'll meet someone else, but it will be a long time before I'm ready for that.
This man will always be special to me. He will always be someone I love and care about. I hope over time we will settle into a friendship. Being loved and accepted is a rare, rare thing in this world - it doesn't come casually into your life. Knowing how rare it is, I have always tried to treat it with great respect when it's given. He gave that freely and I am thankful. I am not sure that at his age he knows how rare it is, and I hope he never finds out. I hope he finds true love and is happy all his days, without the pain of discovering how rare it is to have true love. He is a wonderful man and deserves much happiness.
I'll always be grateful for the time I shared with him - the kindness, the grace, the love he gave me was a beautiful thing. I was blessed to have him in my life. I hope he would say the same about me. I miss him.
I have shared my heart and soul with this man on an intimacy level that I never thought possible for me. I miss him greatly, and will for a long time to come. He is a good, honest, trustworthy, faithful man. I have treasured being the woman he was in love with. He made me want to be a better person.
I went down to Quivira just to get away late in the day but I couldn't really get through the roads because of the recent rain. So I just drove around for a little while, out in the country, in the sunshine. At one point it looked like it was going to rain, which matched my mood, but it was just brief - a few rain drops. I wish I could say the same for my tears falling. My eyes are sore. But, they will heal. As they always do.
As I was coming back into town, a song that sums up my thoughts about such things came on the radio as I was turning onto my street - Garth Brooks' "The Dance." Ironic that it would come on right then. It's such a true song - I would not have missed the wonderful parts of this relationship to avoid the pain of this day and the ones past and the ones to come.
Life seems to come with a hearty helping of relationship pain for many of us. I'm not sure why that is, but I must have been in the front of the line on that one. I'm pretty careful with my heart. I'm 43 and only been in love three times. But, when you consider that there are people in their 40s, 50s, 60s, and older who have never broken up with a boyfriend, who have never ended a relationship, who have never gone through this day, it's rather amazing that at age 43 I'm a veteran. Unfortunately, the fact that I have experience doesn't make it hurt less.
I don't have a lot of friends who can relate to this. But, I don't really want to talk anyway - it will just make me breakdown - and I really don't like to do that in front of people. I keep things like this private, generally. There's a reason they call it a "private life." I really debated mentioning it here, but thought it only fair to those of you who read regularly that I share a bit of my true personal life with you.
Trish is the only girl friend I've talked to about the situation prior to this. Besides, it's not like there's anything to say really. It's over. It hurts. It will hurt for a long time. And then it will hurt less. And then it will settle into a dull hurt that things couldn't be different. Then I'll focus on the good and let the negative fade away. And hopefully I'll learn.
You cannot make someone feel something for you that they no longer feel. So, there's no point trying. You can wonder why and what happened, but you'll just make yourself crazy. So, best to just accept it - get your questions answered if you can - but just accept. I have many questions. I don't know if he will answer them for me or not. Maybe. It would help give me closure but that is a gift one can only request, not expect.
With every relationship it is its own special creation, made by the two of you, unique and precious. And you never know that the last time you kiss or the last time you make love is going to be the last time until later. You don't know it is the last time you'll whisper good night into the darkness while holding each other close,or wake up feeling him close, until later. That's why each interaction with everyone in your life must always be treated as the last. All relationships end by choice or by death, and we never know when it will be.
I wanted him to know that I loved him - truly, madly, deeply - and that I did the best I could in this relationship. I gave it all I had to give and that wasn't enough. I'm not sure where that leaves me at - other than obviously alone for quite some time. But one doesn't have more to give than their "all" and I can honestly say I didn't hold back. I believe in giving 100% to everything - I never want to fail because I did something part way. Well, I loved fully and it still failed. That hurts. But at least I know I did the best I could. It just wasn't enough.
People's lives change, and sometimes there's no way to bring two of them together. There was a large age difference between us - 17 years. We are at different places in our lives. The age wasn't always an issue - he was more mature than his years, I was very "young" in my attitudes toward things - so it worked. But, he has things to do that twenty-somethings do, like build a career, and I don't fit into that. I wish I did, but in his mind I don't, and there's nothing I can do about that.
Whenever a relationship ends, I have to have some time by myself, to rediscover who I am as an individual. At some point in the future I'll meet someone else, but it will be a long time before I'm ready for that.
This man will always be special to me. He will always be someone I love and care about. I hope over time we will settle into a friendship. Being loved and accepted is a rare, rare thing in this world - it doesn't come casually into your life. Knowing how rare it is, I have always tried to treat it with great respect when it's given. He gave that freely and I am thankful. I am not sure that at his age he knows how rare it is, and I hope he never finds out. I hope he finds true love and is happy all his days, without the pain of discovering how rare it is to have true love. He is a wonderful man and deserves much happiness.
I'll always be grateful for the time I shared with him - the kindness, the grace, the love he gave me was a beautiful thing. I was blessed to have him in my life. I hope he would say the same about me. I miss him.
An Elegant Gathering of White Snows
I finished "An Elegant Gathering of White Snows" by Kris Radish tonight. I've been reading this book for a few weeks - trying to go slowly because it was so good I didn't want it to end.
The story is about eight women who walk across their county and the things they learn over that time. It had great character development, which is something I love in books. Although there were so many people in the book it was hard for me to keep them all straight.
It's one of those books you know you'll remember for a long time to come. And it speaks to why women bond well with each other. And, the support we give each other.
I'm blessed to have great women friends in my life now. I treasure them.
The story is about eight women who walk across their county and the things they learn over that time. It had great character development, which is something I love in books. Although there were so many people in the book it was hard for me to keep them all straight.
It's one of those books you know you'll remember for a long time to come. And it speaks to why women bond well with each other. And, the support we give each other.
I'm blessed to have great women friends in my life now. I treasure them.
Lily
This is a recent photo of my favorite small person, Lily. I snapped it when I popped in to see if Diana wanted to join Julie and me for margaritas after work. Julie and I had Altrusa, and I was in the mood for a margarita beforehand. It's weird for me to want to do that so Julie jumped at the idea and we went to the Anchor. It was a nice way to start the evening.
After Altrusa, we went with Peggy to the Metro and had tea and talked more.
Lily is rarely in her seat, as it seems there's always an adult around wanting to hold her. She has just awakened from a nap. She's a very laid back little gal. Of course, she wasn't in the seat more than 90 seconds after she woke up - we were holding her.
She still likes to snuggle, which is lovely. And I believe at only 3 1/2 months she's already well aware that I'm likely to do whatever she wants - bouncing, walking around, whatever.
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
New Cookbook I Love
I have spent part of the evening enjoying a new cookbook that has come into my possession. Now, I should say, I get new cookbooks all the time - which I love - because I review them. But every once in awhile I get one that I know I'll treasure. That's the case with this one.
We had a committee meeting for Altrusa tonight and Debbie brought me a copy of the cookbook that she and her sister did with Grandma's recipes. I love it. Not only for the recipes, but for the stories and poems that are included.
That is the biggest mistake people make when they do a family cookbook - they forget to put the family in it. Recipes are just recipes - lists of ingredients - there's nothing special about them. I own hundreds of cookbooks - I've got a lot of recipes. What makes a cookbook wonderful is when it's personal. And this one is. I love that.
I think I've read all the tidbits added into it by now. I still have some recipes to go through but all the family stuff I've already enjoyed. I'm sure I'll go back to it again, but it's such a treat to peek into someone else's world.
It also reminds me I need to get busy with volume 2 of the Terrell Family Cookbook. I did the first one last year for Christmas and want to get another one done this year.
Of course, before that I have to get the Myatt family reunion book done. Seems I'm always doing a book.......
We had a committee meeting for Altrusa tonight and Debbie brought me a copy of the cookbook that she and her sister did with Grandma's recipes. I love it. Not only for the recipes, but for the stories and poems that are included.
That is the biggest mistake people make when they do a family cookbook - they forget to put the family in it. Recipes are just recipes - lists of ingredients - there's nothing special about them. I own hundreds of cookbooks - I've got a lot of recipes. What makes a cookbook wonderful is when it's personal. And this one is. I love that.
I think I've read all the tidbits added into it by now. I still have some recipes to go through but all the family stuff I've already enjoyed. I'm sure I'll go back to it again, but it's such a treat to peek into someone else's world.
It also reminds me I need to get busy with volume 2 of the Terrell Family Cookbook. I did the first one last year for Christmas and want to get another one done this year.
Of course, before that I have to get the Myatt family reunion book done. Seems I'm always doing a book.......
Sunday, May 22, 2005
Playing Home Owner Today
I've been playing home owner all day today. Geez... what a dull thing to do.
I painted more in the soon-to-be library. I have just a little touching up to do and very little paint from that gallon left so hopefully it will last until I get through.
I also went and bought the other paint. This is a beige and I'm going to sponge over this funky green and some metallics. The green is called "pianist" and is a kilz brand. I've never used Kilz paint so this will be a good experiment. I have used all sorts of different kinds of paint to see which I like best. I'll add this to my list of things I've tried after this.
I'm eager to see what it looks like so I'm sure I'll do some of it tonight.
I've been outside for the last couple of hours. I washed off the porch, which is no easy feat because I have to move all my rocks to spray under them and then put them all back. Then I sprayed the lawn with this stuff you hook up to the garden hose and it's supposed to kill the weeds and green up the lawn. Well, we'll see. The jury is out on that one. I'll report back.
I did have a bright spot of fun, though. Trish called and asked if I wanted to go to lunch. I had just come downstairs when the phone rang so it was good timing. We were having a wonderful conversation but had to stop because she was going to the high school graduation that was this afternoon.
Well, I'm off to put some funky green on the walls and see what it looks like...
I painted more in the soon-to-be library. I have just a little touching up to do and very little paint from that gallon left so hopefully it will last until I get through.
I also went and bought the other paint. This is a beige and I'm going to sponge over this funky green and some metallics. The green is called "pianist" and is a kilz brand. I've never used Kilz paint so this will be a good experiment. I have used all sorts of different kinds of paint to see which I like best. I'll add this to my list of things I've tried after this.
I'm eager to see what it looks like so I'm sure I'll do some of it tonight.
I've been outside for the last couple of hours. I washed off the porch, which is no easy feat because I have to move all my rocks to spray under them and then put them all back. Then I sprayed the lawn with this stuff you hook up to the garden hose and it's supposed to kill the weeds and green up the lawn. Well, we'll see. The jury is out on that one. I'll report back.
I did have a bright spot of fun, though. Trish called and asked if I wanted to go to lunch. I had just come downstairs when the phone rang so it was good timing. We were having a wonderful conversation but had to stop because she was going to the high school graduation that was this afternoon.
Well, I'm off to put some funky green on the walls and see what it looks like...
Things About Me 103-224
OK... so now I can't stop doing this... Once my brain got into this mode it just kept on going. Don't worry - I'm sure I'll become bored with this soon too. Oooh.. there's the start of another list... I bore easily!
103. I love old diners and restaurants.
104. I love my Birks - and other comfy shoes.
105. I was hit on by a lesbian at Lilith Fair. Yes, she was wearing Birks. No, I declined her offer. Got no problem with it - just happen to like the equipment men come with best.
106. I have participated in a major, award-winning, oral history project.
107. One of my radio pieces is in a time capsule at the Cosmosphere.
108. I can crochet and knit and embroider.
109. I love kitsch.
110. Monet's gardens at Giverny used to be one of my favorite spots on Earth. Now the hoardes of tourists ruin the effect for me.
111. Willie Nelson told me I had "beautiful blue eyes" once.
112. I have covered all the public areas of the Louvre.
113. I've been alone inside Stonehenge.
114. I've been alone inside the tomb of Unas.
115. I climbed the Red Pyramid.
116. I love old cemetaries.
117. I've studied French. Extensively. Mais je ne parle pas francais.
118. I've studied Spanish. No hablo espanol.
119. I've studied heirogylphics. No hope I can ever manage that. I know a few things but no way can I read them.
120. I've never been married.
121. I've never been pregnant. (That I know of, anyway.)
122. I've had wonderful men in my life. I have great taste in boyfriends.
123. My mother taught me to be happy. It was a wonderful gift.
124. I have no parents, grandparents, aunts or uncles left.
125. I am fascinated by serial killer stories. No... I don't want to marry one... just want to study them like a bug under a microscope.
126. I enjoy thinking/reading/talking about quantum physics.
127. I am part Cherokee.
128. I know how to shoot a gun and use a bow and arrow. I'm pretty good with both.
129. I've never been arrested.
130. I've never even had a speeding ticket.
131. I sued a company once for packing a worm in a can of corn. I lost.
132. I want the world to be "fair" and will fight battles that are not my own. I also think companies shouldn't pack worms in cans or corn, and sell them as "wholesome," but a jury didn't agree so what do I know?
133. I love to dress up - Halloween, Ren Fest, whatever.
134. I don't like scary movies. Fear is not an emotion I enjoy so I don't pay people to induce it in me.
135. A drawing of my hand was used on a billboard once.
136. I never cheat. I'm a 1000% faithful in any relationship.
137. I don't believe in keeping a spotless house - too much energy for too little return.
138. I make very good pie crust.
139. I plan great parties.
140. I don't believe in regret.
141. I've fixed tea, with a dozen things on the plate, for 100.
142. I carry wet wipes with me at all times. Hate germs.
143. I don't mind the blood on accident scenes but the sounds people make when they're really hurt get to me.
144. I've never dyed my hair. (Although as more gray appears, this will change.)
145. I rarely take any over the counter medication.
146. I love Christmas.
147. I've never had a traditional birthday party.
148. I love my long hair.
149. I can't wear a watch - they stop working on me.
150. I seek others who see beyond the limits of this dimension in which we live.
151. I believe in the power of thought.
152. I like good old boys - minus the trans-am and the skoal.
153. I love fun surprises.
154. My mother didn't know she was pregnant with me for quite some time. Took modern medicine a four day hospital stay to figure it out. The local "witch doctor" had told her weeks before just from looking at her across a room.
155. I think on dozens of tracks all at the same time.
156. Writing helps me figure thing out.
157. I have a great interest in the civil rights movement.
158. I admire Mamie Till.
159. I think Minnow was right when he said TV was a "vast wasteland." It has only gotten worse since then.
160. I love rivers. I am a person of rivers.
161. I have some issues with the concept of women's rights. I'd like "people's rights."
162. I think we need to accept that there are some differences between the genders.
163. I am not politically correct a large part of the time.
164. I am not ethnocentric regarding being an American.
165. I love long bubble baths.
166. I know education is the key to solving all the world's problems.
167. I get very pissed off at the extremes of any political situation.
168. I want to stop having the abortion debate. I want to get rid of unwanted pregnancy and therefore never have abortion again.
169. I am fascinated by the minds of people who do things far outside the "norm" - like mothers who kill their own children. Don't want to emulate them - just want to question them.
170. I'm a good interviewer - it was one of my great skills in radio.
171. I have a good voice - if I lived in a larger city I could probably make a living by doing voice work.
172. I can't act.
173. I can't dance.
174. I can play piano.
175. I was a music major. Briefly.
176. I've never been hungry and not known food was available. That is something most Americans can say, but not most of the rest of the world.
177. I have done therapy.
178. I have been in caves.
179. I have been on mountains.
180. I have been at a volcano.
181. I have been on the sea.
182. I have looked at the Mediterrean, the Atlantic, the Pacific and sailed the Panama Canal.
183. I have done pieces for NPR and CBS.
184. I have a large birthmark.
185. I can't tell left/right without looking at my birthmark.
186. I have won awards for news, public relations and graphic design.
187. I find the French to be lovely people. The British seem to hate me - always rude to me when I'm there.
188. I have been to an Egyptian wedding.
189. I am not a jealous sort. I believe in trust - not jealousy.
190. I have had three broken bones.
191. I have never had stitches.
192. I am impressed with people who have vision. I used to work for a man who had tremendous vision. And he could see how to take it from vision to reality.
193. I've never met a very powerful person who didn't have a vice. (Think: Clinton and women; Bush and cocaine; etc. etc. etc.)
194. My family history goes back to France in the 12th century. Or so we think anyway.
195. Some people think I'm a computer geek. I'm really just a geek wanna be. I don't know enough to be a geek.
196. I was published in the India Times once. Yeah, the one that's published in India.
197. I came home from the hospital on Christmas Day.
198. I still have most of my childhood toys - including my first doll.
199. My grandmother was blind.
200. I can drive a stick shift.
201. I own a copy of the Egyptian Book of the Dead. Doesn't everyone?
202. I have over 1000 cookbooks.
203. I have every letter I've ever gotten - and copies of many I've written.
204. I adore perfume. Nice perfume. Expensive perfume. I wear it every day - even if I'm just in my house alone.
205. I'm not a big jewelry person. But I like to make jewelry. Go figure.
206. I love to make art with other people.
207. Making things with other people is a bonding experience.
208. I have no savings. I have debt. Money is a continual thorn in my side.
209. I've been to Graceland.
210. I'm not especially modest.
211. I can't rollerskate. I've tried. It's not pretty.
212. I can make truffles. And divinity. And fudge.
213. I make a killer carrot cake.
214. I'm not into celebrities. At all.
215. But I do want my Mtv.
216. I painted my kitchen blue and yellow because Monet's kitchen is blue and yellow. Although I did use much more intense colors.
217. My upstairs bathroom color was chosen from some embroidery floss.
218. I hate snakes. Getting bitten by one this spring did not change my opinion of them any.
219. I've been to Nicaragua.
220. I studied handwriting analysis.
221. I love the feeling of sleeping in a chilly room under tons of blankets.
222. I have planned concerts, receptions, weddings, teas, garden tours, homes tours and dozens of other events.
223. My favorite journals are Claire Fontaine quad notebooks about 7 by 9 inches. Unfortunately, they're unavailable in the US.
224. I love to be in love.
103. I love old diners and restaurants.
104. I love my Birks - and other comfy shoes.
105. I was hit on by a lesbian at Lilith Fair. Yes, she was wearing Birks. No, I declined her offer. Got no problem with it - just happen to like the equipment men come with best.
106. I have participated in a major, award-winning, oral history project.
107. One of my radio pieces is in a time capsule at the Cosmosphere.
108. I can crochet and knit and embroider.
109. I love kitsch.
110. Monet's gardens at Giverny used to be one of my favorite spots on Earth. Now the hoardes of tourists ruin the effect for me.
111. Willie Nelson told me I had "beautiful blue eyes" once.
112. I have covered all the public areas of the Louvre.
113. I've been alone inside Stonehenge.
114. I've been alone inside the tomb of Unas.
115. I climbed the Red Pyramid.
116. I love old cemetaries.
117. I've studied French. Extensively. Mais je ne parle pas francais.
118. I've studied Spanish. No hablo espanol.
119. I've studied heirogylphics. No hope I can ever manage that. I know a few things but no way can I read them.
120. I've never been married.
121. I've never been pregnant. (That I know of, anyway.)
122. I've had wonderful men in my life. I have great taste in boyfriends.
123. My mother taught me to be happy. It was a wonderful gift.
124. I have no parents, grandparents, aunts or uncles left.
125. I am fascinated by serial killer stories. No... I don't want to marry one... just want to study them like a bug under a microscope.
126. I enjoy thinking/reading/talking about quantum physics.
127. I am part Cherokee.
128. I know how to shoot a gun and use a bow and arrow. I'm pretty good with both.
129. I've never been arrested.
130. I've never even had a speeding ticket.
131. I sued a company once for packing a worm in a can of corn. I lost.
132. I want the world to be "fair" and will fight battles that are not my own. I also think companies shouldn't pack worms in cans or corn, and sell them as "wholesome," but a jury didn't agree so what do I know?
133. I love to dress up - Halloween, Ren Fest, whatever.
134. I don't like scary movies. Fear is not an emotion I enjoy so I don't pay people to induce it in me.
135. A drawing of my hand was used on a billboard once.
136. I never cheat. I'm a 1000% faithful in any relationship.
137. I don't believe in keeping a spotless house - too much energy for too little return.
138. I make very good pie crust.
139. I plan great parties.
140. I don't believe in regret.
141. I've fixed tea, with a dozen things on the plate, for 100.
142. I carry wet wipes with me at all times. Hate germs.
143. I don't mind the blood on accident scenes but the sounds people make when they're really hurt get to me.
144. I've never dyed my hair. (Although as more gray appears, this will change.)
145. I rarely take any over the counter medication.
146. I love Christmas.
147. I've never had a traditional birthday party.
148. I love my long hair.
149. I can't wear a watch - they stop working on me.
150. I seek others who see beyond the limits of this dimension in which we live.
151. I believe in the power of thought.
152. I like good old boys - minus the trans-am and the skoal.
153. I love fun surprises.
154. My mother didn't know she was pregnant with me for quite some time. Took modern medicine a four day hospital stay to figure it out. The local "witch doctor" had told her weeks before just from looking at her across a room.
155. I think on dozens of tracks all at the same time.
156. Writing helps me figure thing out.
157. I have a great interest in the civil rights movement.
158. I admire Mamie Till.
159. I think Minnow was right when he said TV was a "vast wasteland." It has only gotten worse since then.
160. I love rivers. I am a person of rivers.
161. I have some issues with the concept of women's rights. I'd like "people's rights."
162. I think we need to accept that there are some differences between the genders.
163. I am not politically correct a large part of the time.
164. I am not ethnocentric regarding being an American.
165. I love long bubble baths.
166. I know education is the key to solving all the world's problems.
167. I get very pissed off at the extremes of any political situation.
168. I want to stop having the abortion debate. I want to get rid of unwanted pregnancy and therefore never have abortion again.
169. I am fascinated by the minds of people who do things far outside the "norm" - like mothers who kill their own children. Don't want to emulate them - just want to question them.
170. I'm a good interviewer - it was one of my great skills in radio.
171. I have a good voice - if I lived in a larger city I could probably make a living by doing voice work.
172. I can't act.
173. I can't dance.
174. I can play piano.
175. I was a music major. Briefly.
176. I've never been hungry and not known food was available. That is something most Americans can say, but not most of the rest of the world.
177. I have done therapy.
178. I have been in caves.
179. I have been on mountains.
180. I have been at a volcano.
181. I have been on the sea.
182. I have looked at the Mediterrean, the Atlantic, the Pacific and sailed the Panama Canal.
183. I have done pieces for NPR and CBS.
184. I have a large birthmark.
185. I can't tell left/right without looking at my birthmark.
186. I have won awards for news, public relations and graphic design.
187. I find the French to be lovely people. The British seem to hate me - always rude to me when I'm there.
188. I have been to an Egyptian wedding.
189. I am not a jealous sort. I believe in trust - not jealousy.
190. I have had three broken bones.
191. I have never had stitches.
192. I am impressed with people who have vision. I used to work for a man who had tremendous vision. And he could see how to take it from vision to reality.
193. I've never met a very powerful person who didn't have a vice. (Think: Clinton and women; Bush and cocaine; etc. etc. etc.)
194. My family history goes back to France in the 12th century. Or so we think anyway.
195. Some people think I'm a computer geek. I'm really just a geek wanna be. I don't know enough to be a geek.
196. I was published in the India Times once. Yeah, the one that's published in India.
197. I came home from the hospital on Christmas Day.
198. I still have most of my childhood toys - including my first doll.
199. My grandmother was blind.
200. I can drive a stick shift.
201. I own a copy of the Egyptian Book of the Dead. Doesn't everyone?
202. I have over 1000 cookbooks.
203. I have every letter I've ever gotten - and copies of many I've written.
204. I adore perfume. Nice perfume. Expensive perfume. I wear it every day - even if I'm just in my house alone.
205. I'm not a big jewelry person. But I like to make jewelry. Go figure.
206. I love to make art with other people.
207. Making things with other people is a bonding experience.
208. I have no savings. I have debt. Money is a continual thorn in my side.
209. I've been to Graceland.
210. I'm not especially modest.
211. I can't rollerskate. I've tried. It's not pretty.
212. I can make truffles. And divinity. And fudge.
213. I make a killer carrot cake.
214. I'm not into celebrities. At all.
215. But I do want my Mtv.
216. I painted my kitchen blue and yellow because Monet's kitchen is blue and yellow. Although I did use much more intense colors.
217. My upstairs bathroom color was chosen from some embroidery floss.
218. I hate snakes. Getting bitten by one this spring did not change my opinion of them any.
219. I've been to Nicaragua.
220. I studied handwriting analysis.
221. I love the feeling of sleeping in a chilly room under tons of blankets.
222. I have planned concerts, receptions, weddings, teas, garden tours, homes tours and dozens of other events.
223. My favorite journals are Claire Fontaine quad notebooks about 7 by 9 inches. Unfortunately, they're unavailable in the US.
224. I love to be in love.
Despite my Sloth Level...
Despite my sloth level, I must go upstairs and paint more... So, this will be the last one of these for me for a while... But, no reason you can't go there and test your liklihood of going to hell. 14% doesn't seem too bad, given my past...
Your Deadly Sins |
Greed: 40% |
Sloth: 40% |
Lust: 20% |
Envy: 0% |
Gluttony: 0% |
Pride: 0% |
Wrath: 0% |
Chance You'll Go to Hell: 14% |
You'll die in a shuttle crash, on your way to your resort on the moon. |
More tests
OK... of course, I've become immediately addicted to these things...
My "sociability" is only "medium?" Hmmmm... I thought I was pretty outgoing and sociable...
My "sociability" is only "medium?" Hmmmm... I thought I was pretty outgoing and sociable...
Your Extroversion Profile: |
Activity Level: Very High |
| Assertiveness: Very High |
| Friendliness: Very High |
| Cheerfulness: High |
| Excitement Seeking: High |
| Sociability: Medium |
Thinking Style
I'm a sucker for various little tests... Don't know why... always have been. Knowing of my addiction, someone sent this to me... you can do it too! They're right on with the first one - not so sure about the second one - I think a few more questions would have helped clear that up. But... fun...
Your Dominant Thinking Style: |
| Exploring You thrive on the unknown and unpredictable. Novelty is your middle name. You are a challenger. You tend to challenge common assumptions and beliefs. An expert inventor and problem solver, you approach everything from new angles. You show people how to question their models of the world. |
Your Secondary Thinking Style: |
| Modifying Super logical and rational, you consider every fact available to you. You don't make rash decisions and are rarely moved by emotion. You prefer what's known and proven - to the new and untested. You tend to ground those around you and add stability. |
Defining Oneself
I have been thinking a great deal about how we define ourselves, and how that impacts our worlds.
Tonight I have been surfing through blogs of various sorts - many, many blogs - at random. I've noticed the desire people have to define themselves in terms of disease. Now, I have to say, I have been *blessed* to not suffer from any chronic condition, so I don't know how that affects one's life. But, I do find it curious that one's disease is so important that it is often THE thing that is mentioned as a definition or one of two or three things that is mentioned as the most important things to note about a person in a profile or bio.
In the past I've noted this with regard to "survivor" or "victim" status. It's noted with a pride that is odd to me. We've all been victims and we're all survivors of various things, but I don't define myself in that fashion. It seems very limiting to me. If the most important thing about me is that I survived something 30 years ago, I need to examine what I've done in those 30 years. Surely I've done something else that's noteworthy.
Of course, that may have been what I call a "defining moment," but it's not the only thing that defines me. At least I hope not.
Humans are infinitely complex in many ways. I'm not sure why we want to keep ourselves in these small little boxes, defining ourselves as "survivors" or "sufferers" or whatever. Are we not bigger than this? More complex? More inventive?
This begs the question of how I define myself..... I guess the 101 things does some of that for me..... If I had to do a 15 second elevator speech for myself I'm not sure what I'd put in it...
Off the top of my head:
Creative person with an old soul... looking to connect with others on the same path...
I'll have to give that some thought.
Tonight I have been surfing through blogs of various sorts - many, many blogs - at random. I've noticed the desire people have to define themselves in terms of disease. Now, I have to say, I have been *blessed* to not suffer from any chronic condition, so I don't know how that affects one's life. But, I do find it curious that one's disease is so important that it is often THE thing that is mentioned as a definition or one of two or three things that is mentioned as the most important things to note about a person in a profile or bio.
In the past I've noted this with regard to "survivor" or "victim" status. It's noted with a pride that is odd to me. We've all been victims and we're all survivors of various things, but I don't define myself in that fashion. It seems very limiting to me. If the most important thing about me is that I survived something 30 years ago, I need to examine what I've done in those 30 years. Surely I've done something else that's noteworthy.
Of course, that may have been what I call a "defining moment," but it's not the only thing that defines me. At least I hope not.
Humans are infinitely complex in many ways. I'm not sure why we want to keep ourselves in these small little boxes, defining ourselves as "survivors" or "sufferers" or whatever. Are we not bigger than this? More complex? More inventive?
This begs the question of how I define myself..... I guess the 101 things does some of that for me..... If I had to do a 15 second elevator speech for myself I'm not sure what I'd put in it...
Off the top of my head:
Creative person with an old soul... looking to connect with others on the same path...
I'll have to give that some thought.
A Saturday in the House
I worked on some computer projects most of the day. I created some free downloads of computer wallpaper to put on my website. Someone asked about having one from the monoprint I use as the buttons on my website. So, I did three different ones today. I'm usually a plain blue background kind of girl but I am using one of these now and it is kind of fun. I did not leave the house until about 7:30 this evening - it has been HOT - and I've been enjoying the AC. I went and picked up my friend, Sondra, tonight and we went to Skaets for a moonburger. The sky was beautiful and it was one of the rare occasions when I didn't have my digital camera with me. It was cloudy and there was lightning but it looks like we're not going to get any rain after all.
After dinner, we went back to Sondra's and I looked at the various projects she's been working on in her house. Sondra has a wonderful old house that she's always doing something with. It's good for me to talk to her - it inspires me to work more on my own house.
Today I painted a bit more in what will be the library. I am torn about what to do with the walls in there. I'm just putting on a beige-y base coat. My plan is to sponge over some other colors. My first thought was a chocolate brown and copper metalic color. Then I considered an Egyptian look with a blue and gold sponged over. Tonight I went to Walmart to pick up some things and noticed a very nice leafy-sagey green. I think it with some copper highlights would be fabulous. It also looks good with the chocolate brown. So, I'm headed upstairs shortly with the various color chips to give it a look see.
Regardless of what I do paint wise, it will still be some effort to get things done in there as I want to add a number of shelving units and those will have to all be put together. And then the 40 plus boxes of cookbooks put on them. I do NOT enjoy hauling boxes of books up the stairs! Maybe I can hire a couple of high school kids who's like a little extra cash to do that.
There is a company in town that I've never hired but a friend has - two guys and a truck. They charge a flat hourly rate. I think I might just hire them to do it. I have been taking a box up whenever I go upstairs but I've now got those in the sun porch and they're in the way. So, I decided no more until I get the library done.
I also worked on a project for an art group today - an address book I committed to. I have my design done, but it requires some hand painting on each one. I thought I had printed enough that they were all done, but I realized after cutting them that I need a few more. So, I printed them and will paint those tonight. I like to slather on paint, so it takes awhile to dry. It seems my studio is constantly covered with things in various stages of drying.
I'm thinking about making a section of my website for "in the studio" with pix of whatever I'm working on. It might not always look very tidy but it seems to be of interest to people. Whenever I have work people here, or sometimes friends, people seem fascinated by whatever is spread out to dry. So, it might be fun to share that on the website.
Saturday, May 21, 2005
101 Things
Well... this idea has been going around the net for who knows how long... and I've resisted the urge... but after reading Kether's list yesterday at http://101kether.blogspot.com/, I'm going to do it too. I know... makes me look like a copy cat... but I'm gonna do it anyway.
1. I love old houses.
2. I came into this world knowing that time is not linear.
3. I am an incredibly loyal friend.
4. I "tell it like it is." Don't ask me a question if you don't want the answer.
5. I am the question person among my friends - always have a question.
6. I am happy most of the time.
7. I agree with my great grandmother Maranda Rose, who was gone long before I came along, who always ate dessert first because she said, "I might die and some other son of a bitch would get to eat it." It's a general philosophy of life - enjoy it. Now.
8. I have a trail of failed relationships behind me. I'm not very good at them, even though I try really hard.
9. I can sing.
10. I love to travel - nothing gets the heart pounding like a little jaunt into the developing world.
11. I wash my hands dozens of times a day - I've got a "germ thing."
12. I *rarely* get sick. (Reference #11)
13. I'm brand loyal to very few things - Wisk, Heinz ketchup, Colgate winterfresh gel toothpaste, Tampax tampons, Jif peanut butter.
14. I HATE to clothes shop. Good grief, could there be anything more mind numbingly dull?
15. I hate carpet - nasty stuff. If you put a rug down and walk on it, it's filthy in a few days. Why do you think gluing the rug down prevents it from getting dirty?
16. I suck at trivial pursuit.
17. I have a *major* case of ADD and consider it a blessing.
18. I don't like to go to the movies. I'm a prisoner in a theatre.
19. Freedom is the one thing I've never had enough of.
20. I was on my fourth career before I turned 40.
21. I write cookbook reviews.
22. I used to do radio.
23. I used to do TV.
24. I used to write for a newspaper.
25. I have written a novel. It's not great, but at least I strung together 100,000 words and they make some sense.
26. I've been keeping a journal since I was in grade school.
27. People tell me I don't look my age - 43. I certainly don't feel my age.
28. I've been involved with men much older and much younger.
29. I think people spend far too much time thinking about what they SHOULD do instead of just doing what they WANT to do.
30. One of the most meaningful songs to me is Janis Joplin's "Me and Bobby McGee" because of the line, "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose." Because it's true.
31. I love Maya Angelou.
32. I know what it's like to be facing someone older and stronger than you, thinking they are going to kill you. (He didn't, obviously. He probably regretted it.)
33. I have two brothers that were married with children before I was born.
34. I have laminates on eight of my teeth. I got them when it was a very new procedure. Love them.
35. I have been fat all my life. It's part of who I am. Take me or leave me.
36. I miss my Mama. She's been gone for 4 years now.
37. One of the people in this world I know I can always count on is my ex bf, who remains one of my best friends on the planet. He always will be. We just don't make a good couple.
38. I'm a pack rat.
39. I love "Morning Edition" and "All Things Considered" on NPR.
40. I collect rocks.
41. I am an artist.
42. I am a writer.
43. I cannot remember details of shows, books, etc.
44. I treasure my friends.
45. I adore my family - none of that "oh, I don't get along with fill-in-the-blank" foolishness.
46. My great nephew, BC, is one of my favorite people on the planet.
47. My sister in law, Mary Ann, has always been a second mom to me. She is the ROCK of the family. Don't know what families do that don't have a Mary Ann. We are blessed.
48. I know that the dimensions we perceive in this world are very limited. And we limit ourselves by not looking beyond them.
49. I adore having an art studio in my house.
50. I could create on the computer for hours and hours.
51. I'm a good cook. Very good cook. I love to bake.
52. I love lipfinity lipstick.
53. I believe that journalism is a noble profession.
54. I used to be a journalist.
55. I have compiled and edited cookbooks.
56. I have designed billboards, bus ads, posters, programs, ads and dozens of other things.
57. I have voiced national radio ads.
58. I like genealogy.
59. I took a quilting class. I like to choose the fabric. The sewing isn't my favorite thing.
60. I love to dye things like freezer paper.
61. I learned to sew by making Barbie Doll clothes.
62. I am redoing an old house.
63. People think I'm weird. They might be right.
64. I'm definitive.
65. Decision making is pretty easy for me.
66. I'm convinced it's pretty obvious what's right and what's wrong. People just like to pretend otherwise so they don't have to take responsibility.
67. I have "Patsy's Rules for Living" that keep me centered.
68. The confluence of the Ohio and Mississippi Rivers at Cairo, Illinois is an important place for me.
69. I was born and raised in Kentucky.
70. I graduated from the U. of Kentucky - Go Wildcats - with degrees in Journalism and Telecommunications. I work in the Mental Health field now. Nothing like using that education.
71. I love Mary Englebreit's Home Companion but still miss Victoria.
72. I went to Egypt by myself.
73. I've hiked in the Guatemalan jungle.
74. I love Paris.
75. I am not afraid of death. Never have been. I'd rather live fully and have fewer days, than live a long time and be afraid.
76. I get a lot of things done every day.
77. I don't sleep much. Six hours is plenty for me. I can do with much less.
78. I've never bought a new piece of furniture.
79. I grew up on a tobacco farm. I hope I never have to raise tobacco again but I can if I have to.
80. I have never smoked anything - including tobacco.
81. I don't drink. It all tastes bad to me - beer, wine, whatever. Very occasionally I have a margarita with Mexican food but don't get the thrill of getting shit faced. There's a season for everything in life and by the time you're old enough to do that legally, that season should be wrapping up.
82. I don't do drugs.
83. I own a discussion group.
84. I think our lack of connection with one another will be part of our undoing.
85. I can read people. Have always been able to. But I don't do it without permission.
86. I know when people are feeding me a line of bullshit. I can't figure out why others don't see it. It's incredibly obvious to me.
87. I have been criticized for being smart, efficient, getting a lot done and not needing supervision.
88. I have a "genius" IQ. Pity I think IQ tests are bogus.
89. I am incredibly annoyed by stupid people.
90. I laugh every day. Heartily. Multiple times a day.
91. I write every day.
92. I meditate every day.
93. I pray every day.
94. I do not believe in war.
95. Clinton is the only president I've ever voted for who got into the white house. And I've voted in every election since I've been old enough.
96. I love cats but don't have any.
97. I am not a huge fan of music. I sing along with the radio. That's about it.
98. I love old costume jewelry pins.
99. I treasure the family things I have - quilts, trinkets, furniture - my mom's dining room table where almost everyone I've ever loved has gathered at one point or another.
100. I have been kissed while standing on the banks of the Nile.
101. I think I'm a very dull person.
102. I hate to be confined in any fashion - including 101 things about me.
1. I love old houses.
2. I came into this world knowing that time is not linear.
3. I am an incredibly loyal friend.
4. I "tell it like it is." Don't ask me a question if you don't want the answer.
5. I am the question person among my friends - always have a question.
6. I am happy most of the time.
7. I agree with my great grandmother Maranda Rose, who was gone long before I came along, who always ate dessert first because she said, "I might die and some other son of a bitch would get to eat it." It's a general philosophy of life - enjoy it. Now.
8. I have a trail of failed relationships behind me. I'm not very good at them, even though I try really hard.
9. I can sing.
10. I love to travel - nothing gets the heart pounding like a little jaunt into the developing world.
11. I wash my hands dozens of times a day - I've got a "germ thing."
12. I *rarely* get sick. (Reference #11)
13. I'm brand loyal to very few things - Wisk, Heinz ketchup, Colgate winterfresh gel toothpaste, Tampax tampons, Jif peanut butter.
14. I HATE to clothes shop. Good grief, could there be anything more mind numbingly dull?
15. I hate carpet - nasty stuff. If you put a rug down and walk on it, it's filthy in a few days. Why do you think gluing the rug down prevents it from getting dirty?
16. I suck at trivial pursuit.
17. I have a *major* case of ADD and consider it a blessing.
18. I don't like to go to the movies. I'm a prisoner in a theatre.
19. Freedom is the one thing I've never had enough of.
20. I was on my fourth career before I turned 40.
21. I write cookbook reviews.
22. I used to do radio.
23. I used to do TV.
24. I used to write for a newspaper.
25. I have written a novel. It's not great, but at least I strung together 100,000 words and they make some sense.
26. I've been keeping a journal since I was in grade school.
27. People tell me I don't look my age - 43. I certainly don't feel my age.
28. I've been involved with men much older and much younger.
29. I think people spend far too much time thinking about what they SHOULD do instead of just doing what they WANT to do.
30. One of the most meaningful songs to me is Janis Joplin's "Me and Bobby McGee" because of the line, "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose." Because it's true.
31. I love Maya Angelou.
32. I know what it's like to be facing someone older and stronger than you, thinking they are going to kill you. (He didn't, obviously. He probably regretted it.)
33. I have two brothers that were married with children before I was born.
34. I have laminates on eight of my teeth. I got them when it was a very new procedure. Love them.
35. I have been fat all my life. It's part of who I am. Take me or leave me.
36. I miss my Mama. She's been gone for 4 years now.
37. One of the people in this world I know I can always count on is my ex bf, who remains one of my best friends on the planet. He always will be. We just don't make a good couple.
38. I'm a pack rat.
39. I love "Morning Edition" and "All Things Considered" on NPR.
40. I collect rocks.
41. I am an artist.
42. I am a writer.
43. I cannot remember details of shows, books, etc.
44. I treasure my friends.
45. I adore my family - none of that "oh, I don't get along with fill-in-the-blank" foolishness.
46. My great nephew, BC, is one of my favorite people on the planet.
47. My sister in law, Mary Ann, has always been a second mom to me. She is the ROCK of the family. Don't know what families do that don't have a Mary Ann. We are blessed.
48. I know that the dimensions we perceive in this world are very limited. And we limit ourselves by not looking beyond them.
49. I adore having an art studio in my house.
50. I could create on the computer for hours and hours.
51. I'm a good cook. Very good cook. I love to bake.
52. I love lipfinity lipstick.
53. I believe that journalism is a noble profession.
54. I used to be a journalist.
55. I have compiled and edited cookbooks.
56. I have designed billboards, bus ads, posters, programs, ads and dozens of other things.
57. I have voiced national radio ads.
58. I like genealogy.
59. I took a quilting class. I like to choose the fabric. The sewing isn't my favorite thing.
60. I love to dye things like freezer paper.
61. I learned to sew by making Barbie Doll clothes.
62. I am redoing an old house.
63. People think I'm weird. They might be right.
64. I'm definitive.
65. Decision making is pretty easy for me.
66. I'm convinced it's pretty obvious what's right and what's wrong. People just like to pretend otherwise so they don't have to take responsibility.
67. I have "Patsy's Rules for Living" that keep me centered.
68. The confluence of the Ohio and Mississippi Rivers at Cairo, Illinois is an important place for me.
69. I was born and raised in Kentucky.
70. I graduated from the U. of Kentucky - Go Wildcats - with degrees in Journalism and Telecommunications. I work in the Mental Health field now. Nothing like using that education.
71. I love Mary Englebreit's Home Companion but still miss Victoria.
72. I went to Egypt by myself.
73. I've hiked in the Guatemalan jungle.
74. I love Paris.
75. I am not afraid of death. Never have been. I'd rather live fully and have fewer days, than live a long time and be afraid.
76. I get a lot of things done every day.
77. I don't sleep much. Six hours is plenty for me. I can do with much less.
78. I've never bought a new piece of furniture.
79. I grew up on a tobacco farm. I hope I never have to raise tobacco again but I can if I have to.
80. I have never smoked anything - including tobacco.
81. I don't drink. It all tastes bad to me - beer, wine, whatever. Very occasionally I have a margarita with Mexican food but don't get the thrill of getting shit faced. There's a season for everything in life and by the time you're old enough to do that legally, that season should be wrapping up.
82. I don't do drugs.
83. I own a discussion group.
84. I think our lack of connection with one another will be part of our undoing.
85. I can read people. Have always been able to. But I don't do it without permission.
86. I know when people are feeding me a line of bullshit. I can't figure out why others don't see it. It's incredibly obvious to me.
87. I have been criticized for being smart, efficient, getting a lot done and not needing supervision.
88. I have a "genius" IQ. Pity I think IQ tests are bogus.
89. I am incredibly annoyed by stupid people.
90. I laugh every day. Heartily. Multiple times a day.
91. I write every day.
92. I meditate every day.
93. I pray every day.
94. I do not believe in war.
95. Clinton is the only president I've ever voted for who got into the white house. And I've voted in every election since I've been old enough.
96. I love cats but don't have any.
97. I am not a huge fan of music. I sing along with the radio. That's about it.
98. I love old costume jewelry pins.
99. I treasure the family things I have - quilts, trinkets, furniture - my mom's dining room table where almost everyone I've ever loved has gathered at one point or another.
100. I have been kissed while standing on the banks of the Nile.
101. I think I'm a very dull person.
102. I hate to be confined in any fashion - including 101 things about me.
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