Art of Gracious Living #23

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Julia Cameron talks about �filling the well� in her book, �The Artist's Way.� It's a concept that can be applied to all aspects of our lives. She suggests weekly artist's dates to restore the creative energy we all need.

I recently spent a week alone in a small cabin in the woods at an artist's retreat. I was reminded how important it is to have time to be in our own company. When we are alone, we have the opportunity to ask the questions, and also to hear the answers.

It was also enlightening to get together with the other artists in the evenings and share our work. Artists and writers have been doing this for centuries. It obviously fills a need. But, most people create alone.

Humans are social creatures, we do need time to spend with ourselves.

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Busy Days and Nights

I've had a few busy days. The garden tour that we do as a fundraiser has sort of fallen apart and I've been patching it back together. But, it's going to be one of the best ones we've ever had. We're ending up with some great sites. So, things work out the way they're supposed to I suppose.

Tonight was Altrusa's installation of new officers for the coming year. I haven't been in a while - I've been out of town or had a conflict all but one meeting night in the last few months. And that night I was working on things, trying to get ready to be gone. So, I'm glad I made it tonight.

I have managed to get some plants in the ground in the last few days. I planted about 50 lily of the valley very early this morning. I'm hoping they all come up in the spring. I adore Lily of the Valley and have never had any. Hopefully next year I'll have lots. They are the best smelling flower ever, I think. By noon it was very hot so I was glad I made that an early morning project.

I also planted a few tomato plants, one pepper and one cucumber plant. We'll see how that goes. I've not planted veggies in many years. Of course, they're saying we may get storms with hail tonight, so I may be buying new plants and planting them in the next couple of days. We do have some thunder and lightning. Just a few hours ago, this was all north of us and we weren't expecting anything. I'm continually amazed at how weather forecasters are clueless. I know about the butterfly effect but - good grief - it would seem surely we could manage a few hours in advance these days.

When I got in about 9:30 tonight I flipped on the TV and Travis Barker was playing in a tribute to Buck Owens on the Country Music Awards. I do have to admit that I love the way music has gone the last few years - particularly country music - where genres have blended together. It's fun to see Loretta Lynn and Jack White together. It's fun to see Dwight Yoakum, Billy Gibbons from ZZ Top, Brad Paisley and Travis Barker play together. I wonder what that rehearsal was like.

Well, I need to go make a new to do list. I have a ton of things I need to accomplish in the next two days and they won't happen without a list from which to work. And I need to sleep at some point. Seems so hard to find time for that.

The weekend

It's nearly 10:30 on Sunday night and I haven't gotten nearly as much done this weekend as I'd hoped. I could use another weekend day.

Yesterday I did a lot of work outside. It was cloudy and cool. I got the strings up for the morning glories to climb on and I did some other gardening things. This morning was much the same way so I took advantage of the cool weather then too. Unfortunately, this afternoon it got hot and apparently it's going to be that way all week. I still have more gardening things to get done. I guess I'll try to get up extra early and do it before work. It is just too miserable when it's 94 degrees to be doing much outdoors. At least for me.

This afternoon Terry and I went to the Fox to see Napoleon Dynamite. I hadn't seen it before. I rarely go to movies, but I'd heard so much about the need to Vote for Pedro that I wanted to see it. I'm glad I did. It was fun.
My weekend was capped off with a home cooked meal, which was nice. Sondra invited me over for dinner tonight. She cooked green beans and potatoes and corn on the cob, as well as salad. It was great.

I have been getting up really early lately. For some reason I just keep waking up early - not sure why - but I do. Of course, if I want to get some gardening done early that's just as well.

The Party Guys

I like smart guys. Guys who are thinkers. Guys who are responsible. Guys who's idea of a hot time on the old town tonight is dinner out at a restaurant where my food is being served to me on an actual plate, but where my jeans are appropriate attire. And, no, I don't want to go to a movie. I'd rather just go home after dinner.

So, given this, why is it that for 25 years it has been the party guys that are attracted to me? I don't even know how I meet party guys. I haven't been in a bar in... well... I can't recall when I was last in a bar... probably before I was old enough to be in a bar. But the party guys find me. They find me at the local deli, in airports, and at the grocery store. They approach me on the Paris subway, the Paducah library, at the local greenhouse, and at the carwash. They talk to me in museums, Wal-mart parking lots, on the streets of Luxor and in downtown Hutchinson. How can this possibly be?

As I was being hit on today while washing my car I was thinking about the various places party guys have found me. I'm sure I'll think of others - these were just some of the more memorable ones off the top of my head. Speaking the same language isn't even necessary - maybe "party" is the same in any language.

What is it about me that attracts party guys? With smart guys I almost always have to make the first move, or give them lots of encouragement. And at some point in the relationship we generally have a conversation about how they were afraid of approaching me. What is it about me that is so off-putting? It's not in effect with the party guys. They're not afraid. They think I'm one of their kind - ready to party.

Why is that? I'm really rather conservative in my dress. I don't go around talking about partying, because I don't. Admittedly, there have been times in my life when I was "with the band" - let me clarify - not the ENTIRE band, just one guy in the band. OK, there was a time when I was IN the band, but that was a long time ago. I had my younger and wilder days but they were so long ago surely I'm not giving off those signals anymore. And, even then I didn't really find it the most fun thing. It was just "the season" for it. I kept thinking I'd figure out the fun part of it but I never did.

I'm a homebody - content to be in my studio painting or at the computer writing. I like to go out to eat with friends, have people over, bake, work on my house, have good conversation, garden - all very mundane. But somewhere in this there is something screaming, "Hey, party guy, lets have some fun." I cannot imagine what that is.

When I ask the party guys the response is always something along the lines of, "oh, you just exude fun." OK, party guys don't generally know words like "exude," because words like that went the way of various mind altering substances long ago, but, that's the sentiment.

Amazing Week

I have just returned from an extraordinary week in Ohio.

For the last year or so I have been thinking I needed to go away to a cabin in the woods somewhere and write for about a week. I was wondering how I would be able to afford it. Well, in a great example of how the universe provides what you ask for, I was given the opportunity to do this for free, other than my transportation there.



This cabin was my home for the past week. I had power, but not running water. However, it was only a block or so walk to the main house where there was water.

The ladies who offered this retreat paid great attention to detail. Each cabin had a small bouquet of flowers that included mint and lambs ear.

I was one of three artists who were there. The others were an artist/writer from Ohio and a Dominican nun from Wisconsin. There were others who were supposed to come but cancelled at the last minute. It's a shame they missed out. It was an exceptional experience.



There were four ladies who were there every day, making sure everything we needed was available. Sue and Marcia run the retreat center. And Diann is the one who started this week to honor her former partner, Marnee, who died a few years ago. Diann cooked for us all week - wonderful vegetarian meals with lots of organic food. Birch was her "sous chef." Peaches is the resident kitty.

Birch and I really connected because we're both southern girls. She's from Tennessee and I'm from Kentucky so we had the opportunity to talk about "our people."

There were other ladies in and out all week that I got to know just a bit. It was a very interesting time.



Right outside my cabin door was a lilac bush that was in bloom. When it was warm enough I kept the door open and could smell the lilacs.

I spent the week writing on my novel, journalling, painting and thinking. And also remembering my mom. May 11 was the five year anniversary of her death.



I wrote a great deal on my novel while I was there - about 25,000 words - and also did a lot of editing.

My cabin had a nice little table where I set up my writing area. It was incredible the amount of writing I was able to get done by just having that focus. When I'm on the computer at home there are so many things I can be doing. There I had only the book to work on. Batya, one of the other artists, edits a literary journal and asked me to submit some of my writing so I'll be doing that, too.

Batya got so much done while we were there. She did paintings and wrote and worked on her play and did some organizing and was just a flurry of activity. It was inspiring.




Lucy was the other writer there. She is 83, although you would never guess it from looking at her. She was working on a lecture about the female mystics.




We shared some of our work a couple of times over the week and it was interesting to hear what people were working on. These were some very intelligent women I was with all week. I often felt like the dumb one, and I love being around people who make me stay on my toes conversationally.
I did do a little bit of painting and journalling, but mostly I worked on my novel. I'm pretty pleased with how it's going overall.

This was a gorgeous place to be. I feel so lucky to have been invited to share it. I'm thankful that Mary, from my journalling list, told me about the application process and thankful I was chosen. It was a great opportunity.

Big News from the Big Apple

Terry popped over tonight and asked if I wanted to go to Anchor. I was just thinking about what to have for dinner, so it was the perfect answer. And it had been awhile since we'd had a chance to chat for a long time so it was good to see him.

When I went to get dessert, I heard my name being called and it was Trish. She and Jim have been in New York and just got home. Well, they have big news - they got engaged while in NY. I haven't heard the whole story yet, but I understand it's very romantic.

I asked if it was OK if I put it on the blog, and she said yes. So, I had them pose for a photo. I do so love having the camera with me at all times. We're having lunch on Monday so I can hear all the details then.

I, of course, did stake my claim on throwing the bridal shower.

Save the Internet

The fight over net-neutrality is getting stronger - this is a really important issue. You have an opportunity to let your voice be heard. If you don't it's possible you'll soon be finding some of your favorite internet sites have slowed to a crawl. Big companies want to put those who pay ransom into the fast lane, and relegate the rest of us to a slow crawl. Moby, R.E.M. and dozens of other artists have joined the fight.

This issue affects all of us, and has become something that illustrates the "politics makes strange bedfellows" adage. Whenever Gun Owners of America, the ACLU, AARP and the Christian Coalition are working together, you know it's something that affects a broad spectrum of Americans.

This is an opportunity for you - the average American - to stand up to the big companies. AT&T and similar companies are spending millions lobbying congress, because they aren't making enough money from us. We already ARE paying for this service - now they want to charge us and the content providers too.

Don't wait another second - take action and let your voice be heard. If you don't it could soon be too late for your voice to be heard - at least in a timely manner.

MoveOn petition on Internet freedom: http://civic.moveon.org/save_the_internet/?id=7705-5980879-ux6zmBaFjeg98NeAPoe1Qw&t=1

Video of Moby: http://www.savetheinternet.com/moby

Audio clip of Moby: http://www.SavetheInternet.com/moby_bite2.mp3

Air America interview with Moby: http://www.airamericaradio.com/saveinternet

CNN highlights Moby: http://www.cnn.com/CNN/Programs/situation.room/blog/

AP story on Moby: http://asap.ap.org/stories/592550.s

REM's announcement: www.remhq.com

*********************

Grammy-nominated musician Moby joined today with Representative Edward Markey (D-MA), ranking Democrat on the House Subcommittee on Telecommunications and the Internet, to demand that Congress reject upcoming legislation that would allow AT&T, Verizon, and other telecommunications giants to take over the Internet.

The growing list of major artists and musicians who have joined the SavetheInternet.com Coalition's Artists and Musicians for Internet Freedom includes Moby, R.E.M., Q-Tip, the Indigo Girls, Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails, the Roots, the Dixie Chicks, Jill Sobule, and Wilco. These artists join Internet advocates, MoveOn.org Civic Action, Gun Owners of America, the Christian Coalition, consumer groups, and more than 600 diverse organizations in the fighting back against a congressional proposal to gut Network Neutrality�the Internet's First Amendment.

"If Congress guts Net Neutrality, independent music and news sites would be choked off, consumer choice would be limited, and the Internet will be become a private toll road auctioned off by companies like AT&T," Moby warned. "We need to stand up for Internet freedom now. Congress must uphold Network Neutrality."

Net Neutrality is the long-held principle that ensures small music blogs and independent news sites open just as easily on people's computers as large corporate sites. Companies like AT&T are spending millions lobbying Congress to pass legislation that critics charge would set up a discriminatory tollbooth system on the information superhighway. The proposed legislation would allow Internet providers to decide which Web sites work best on people's computers based on who pays them the most, favoring large corporations with deep coffers while marginalizing everyday people, community groups and small businesses.

"The legislation in the House of Representatives threatens the Internet as we know it," said Rep. Markey, author of H.R 5273 "Save the Internet Act of 2006" which would preserve the open architecture of the Internet and prevent companies from downgrading and discriminating regarding Internet access and services."Right now we are heading down a dangerous road that will stifle the openness of the Internet, endanger our global competitiveness, and warp the web into a tiered Internet of bandwidth haves and have-nots. This coalition is the beginning of a nationwide effort to stop creeping Internet protectionism into the free and open World Wide Web. This is the time for Internet users to express themselves to rise up and save the Internet," said Markey, Congressional leader of the movement to prevent the COPE Act (HR 5252) from passing without a strong net neutrality provision.

Thousands watched the Moby event online at www.SavetheInternet.com/moby, which posted a Congressional call-in number on the screen encouraging viewers to call their representatives to demand they protect Net Neutrality.

"We are seeing a massive public outcry�the people are joining together to save the Internet. Artists and musicians are part of this vast movement, as are the nearly 700,000 people who signed a petition, and the thousands calling Congress every day," said Timothy Karr, campaign director of Free Press, which is coordinating the SavetheInternet.com Coalition. "The American public won't allow the Internet to be turned into just another cash cow for greedy corporations. Americans will be watching how their representatives vote on Internet freedom."

The Save the Internet.com Coalition�an alliance of organizations from across the political spectrum, consumer groups, educators, small businesses and bloggers that have come together to protect Internet freedom�has galvanized support for Network Neutrality from artists, musicians and hundreds of thousands of average citizens. In less than a month, almost 700,000 people have signed an Internet Freedom petition to Congress, more than 7,000 friends have joined SavetheInternet.com's MySpace, and thousands of blogs have linked to the coalition Web site. Also supporting Network Neutrality are companies such as Google and eBay and groups such as AARP, the ACLU and the Christian Coalition.

Creative Sisterhood

Tonight was Creative Sisterhood. Everyone was here but Virginia who had a conflict. It was good.

I shared about my recent retreat week, which I'll be writing more about here, once I get the photos organized. It was amazing, to sum it up.

I haven't had much time to reconnect with people here since I returned. Julie and I did have a nice long dinner last night. That was fun. We ran into Matt and Michelle Decker and it was fun to see them. I'm hoping to get to see Jocelyn tomorrow.

This weekend I'm hoping to get caught up on blogging. I have a lot of photos from the retreat to share.

Also, for those of you who have expressed interest in the Union Pacific Steam Engine 844, I've asked permission to ride it later this month to do a large story about it here. We'll see if that's possible.

Art of Gracious Living #21

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When we say we'll do something, we owe it to ourselves, and the person to whom we made that promise, to follow through to the best of our abilities.

It is imperative that we learn to be direct and carefully select only what we can accomplish. It's not fair to anyone, including ourselves, when we don't honor our commitments. We cannot lead a gracious life when we are not living with integrity.

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The Da Vinci Code

I've been listening to all this talk about "debunking" The DaVinci Code. Did everyone but me miss that this book was sold as a novel? The religious leaders are up in arms about it, as if they're not always up in arms about something, but this is the latest thing.

First we have a guy who purports to be writing the truth, who was really making it up, and we were upset about that. Now we have a guy who says he's making it up, using some facts, and we're upset because we want him to say it's all true so we can debunk it as false. The public truly is fickle.

I doubt I'll see the movie, but I really enjoyed the book. The FICTION book.

The Mommy Club

Recently I was near a group of women I dubbed "The Mommy Club." They were all very, very, very into their kids. In fact, they seemed unable to see anyone or anything beyond how it related to their children. They were very disdainful to any mother who didn't demonstrate the same level of complete devotion to their children, and obviously thought there was something horribly wrong with me that I had not seen fit to use the perfectly good ovaries and uterus I'd been given.

One of the members of the mommy club was asked by someone she's just run into that she used to work with, "what are you doing now?" She chirped -and that is the only way to describe it - "I'm a mom!" She said it as if she had accomplished the most amazing thing imaginable. I'm sure it's an incredible thing to have a child - I have no doubt of it - but it is something that billions of women have done. But billions of women were certainly not welcome in their club. The woman she was talking to who was asking what she was doing obviously didn't quite know what to say to that. But, no problem, the mommy club member went on to tell her in great detail about her two children. As well as the husband who was supporting all of them, while arguing with his two ex-wives about supporting the children from those marriages.

It, obviously, had never occurred to her that she is just the ex-wife to be that he'll be arguing with about supporting their kids. Statistically speaking, she will not have the earning power to support them without his financial assistance because she's "being a mom!" instead of building a career or in some other way asserting her own financial rights.

Don't get me wrong - I WANT people to be into their kids. I desperately want people to like being a mom. And I love it when people can stay home and raise their children. If I had had children, I would have wanted to be home with them. But, I could never figure out how to accomplish that and not be putting me and those children at great risk.

I want women to be realistic about their lives, and that of their children. If you put all your financial eggs in one basket - in this case a husband who obviously has some difficulty with relationships - the liklihood you're going to end up in a world of hurt is huge. When you end up hurt, so do your children.

The 2004 per capita divorce rate was 37% - that means that 74% of the US population, since a divorce involves two people, gets divorced every year. Nearly 3/4 of people in the US. The odds of living happily ever after are not in your favor. And the stats are per capita, not by who is married, so the numbers are actually significantly higher than that.

The notion about how you can't go into something expecting it to not last is cute and all, but that's not really for adults. If you're not past that, you're really not mature enough to be considering marriage. Adults come to a marriage with a string of failed relationships behind them. You know from experience your own track record isn't that great. And you're marrying someone with their own history of failure at relationships. Leave the romance for candy and flowers, but be realistic about the finances. What are you going to do if you get divorced? Child support? That's all formulaic in most places and it's not generally enough to really support a child. It will be a supplement but that's it. So, what is it going to supplement?

I realize some people married young and are still with the same person. Both of my brothers fall into that category and they all seem happy and I'm happy for them. If I had married the boy I was interested in when I was 16 I would have been miserable the last few years.

And if you're going to be a card carrying member of the mommy club, try to learn to contain your dislike of the rest of the world. Some of us have chosen to not have children because we didn't think we'd make very good parents. It's not because we don't like children - just the opposite - we like them so much we didn't want to screw them up. Some of us couldn't figure out a way to create a secure, loving environment for a child with some safeguards in case the relationship we had with their father fell apart, and we were realistic enough to know that was likely to happen. Some of us thought being a mom was just more responsibility than we could handle well.

I couldn't help but wonder what the Mommy Club members were teaching their children about acceptance. The only message I could see was "people who don't think like mommy are bad." No wonder we're self destructing from the inside out.

OK... you just gotta go see "Lord of the Peeps" at www.thelope.blogspot.com. It's an epic destined to become a cult classic.

A few weeks ago I was passing through Horton, Kansas. On the edge of town was this house that was very bright - bright orange - like a big construction cone. I wondered what the story was and later found out from a local resident that the city code officer had told the owner the house was getting a little bad looking and that he "needed to get some paint on it."

The resident apparently wasn't that keen on the city interferring in his business, so he put some paint on it alright - this paint.




A block or so away they apparently told the gas station owner he needed to remove the old tires he had because they were a breeding ground for mosquitoes. This was January, I guess.

I'm told the gas station owner ran an ad telling people he'd give a free oil change to anyone who got bitten by one of the mosquitoes that were bred at his station in January or February.

You just gotta love democracy in action.

What strikes me about this so much is that you'd think city code officers might feel the need to lay low, particularly in Kansas, given Dennis Rader. But, I guess a serial killer is no reason to stop telling people to mow their lawns.

May 11

Today is the five year anniversary of my mother's death. It is still fresh in many ways, although I have grown to accept this reality. We have no other choice, of course. We simply must accept and go on. Life is for the living, as she was fond of saying.

I was blessed to have a mother who always acted as if I were the most important thing in her world. What an incredible gift of love and security.

There have been a few occasions since she died when I have smelled flowers in my home when none were present, and felt her nearby. The first time was in my bedroom, near the foot of my bed, not too long after she died. It was the scent of wild violets, which she loved. I have wild violets in my back yard and adore them.

Most recently, near her birthday on April 24, I smelled flowers in my dining room. The scent was strongest near the doorway where her photo hangs on one wall beside it. But it wasn't wild violets this time, it was the scent of roses.

This night, as I was going to the kitchen for a glass of water before I went to bed, I smelled the scent very strongly as I went through the door of the dining room. I was sure I had forgotten a candle or some potpourri or something. But, I searched the room to find nothing that was scenting the room.

When I got closer to the photo, I could smell it more strongly. It happened three nights over the course of a week, always at night. It took me by surprise every time as they were not times I was intensely thinking about my mom.

We always wore roses on mother's day. It's a southern tradition - you wear red if your mother is living and white if your mother is dead. We buried her on Mother's Day and I wanted her to have a corsage in the casket. I don't know why I wanted that, but I did. My brothers were fine with it and if they thought it odd they didn't say anything. Thank God the three of us moved through that time as a family in agreement, without fighting or arguing.

When you're in the midst of all that grief you don't know why some things matter, but they matter more than you can imagine. My nephew, Johnny, wanted he and the other grandsons to carry the casket. They did. It was important to him in the same way the corsage was important to me. I doubt he can explain that any more than I can explain the corsage of white roses. You just have to hope that the things you're doing to help you don't disturb anyone else and that everyone can have what they need to process the grief.

The white rose bush I planted last year is doing well.

If you've read here for any amount of time, you know that I'm a fan of the open road. I was thinking yesterday about things I've seen along the road that were surprises, to say the least. I do so love surprises.

Probably the first such thing was the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile some years ago travelling on I-44 between Springfield and Joplin, Missouri.

Another time we spotted the big bears that are part of a fair ride being moved in the back of a pickup truck. You just don't expect to see giant pink bears on the interstate, moving at an 80 mph clip.

There are photos of both of those things somewhere, but that was before the days of digital so I have no idea where.

More recently I saw big bottles of budweiser on a trailer, accompanied by big whales on each end. I have no idea what whales have to do with beer, but mine is not to question why. Mine is only to enjoy the open road.

Where I'm at in Life

I come to this point in life with joy. I have loved and been loved. I have laughed and cried. I've given in to my whims. I've experienced passion that takes your breath away, and faced what I thought would be my death with my breath caught in my throat.

I've been kissed while standing on the bank of the Nile River and mourned the death of my mother at the Ohio Riverside. I've given thanks inside Stonehenge, marveled at Giverny, hiked the Guatemalan jungle and sang "Amazing Grace" in Muir Woods. I've lived some dreams, put some aside, and made some new ones.

Greg and I went out Wednesday morning to see Union Pacific's 844 Steam engine. It was magnicient. There was a large crowd in Hutchinson - bigger than in Salina, I think. We then went to the edge of town to catch it over this trestle. What a treat!

In Praise of Water

A few months ago I had to stop drinking caffeine. I didn't drink a lot of it to begin with, but I stopped drinking any at all.

Well, while diet sprite is my soft drink of choice, it's not readily available at most restaurants. So, I started drinking water. Lots of water. Water with most meals.

You know how they're always telling you that you should drink water and you go, "yeah, uh huh..." Well, I started drinking lots of water from necessity. Then I started to *want* water.

I've been drinking lots of water since last fall. In the last month or so I've had this following conversation 4 or 5 times...

"Patsy, your skin is looking really good... what are you doing?"

"Nothing... just drinking a lot of water."

It's really embarrassing to admit that I've finally started doing what is obvious and it has had the effect all those experts told you it would. Come to think of it, I believe everyone's mother and grandmother told them this.

Why do we humans ignore the obvious?

Hose and Heels

I am back home after a few days in Salina at the Altrusa District conference. I'm going to be doing the district's newsletter for the next two years and Peggy, who got me involved, was installed as governor last night. That means she's the head honcho of the district.

So, I spent the weekend trying to be where I was supposed to be, when I was supposed to be there, and dressed appropriately so I didn't embarrass her. I even wore hose and heels last night!!!!! This is no small feat for me. I gave away all my high heels a few years ago. But, decided I really needed some for this occasion. This $8 pair of shoes will probably last me for another decade because I certainly don't plan to wear them too often.

But, geez, high heels do make legs look so good. Why must that be? What can't flat sandals make legs look good? But, I was a good girl. I took off my toe rings and put on hose and heels instead. Quite the departure for me. But I survived. I probably won't do it again until next year's conference.

Trish drove up to Salina and met me for brunch at Capers. We had a nice long chat. I got home in the late afternoon and had to unload the car, which took a long time because - of course - I overpacked. I always do when I travel by car.

Steam Engine

This afternoon, I hung out at an overpass on the interstate and waited for this. "This" is 844, an old steam engine, that is making an excursion across Kansas and other parts in the next few days.

It was a cloudy day here, and not the best train watching weather, but I'm so glad I didn't miss seeing it moving along.

Years ago I did a story on this same engine when it was named 8444, but I've never gotten to see it moving. It was magnificent.

It is in Salina tonight and tomorrow. On Monday it will be in Hutchinson. So, I'm sure I will see it yet again on this trip.

Tonight I was at the Rolling Hills Refuge near Salina. We only got to enjoy the museum tonight but I want to come back and attend the zoo portion too.

The museum is filled with taxidermed animals. I'm not generally a big fan of stuffed critters, but this is well done.

This was part of the Altrusa District Conference. This is my third conference and it's really nice to see people I've met in previous years and really enjoy.

I wonder if any of these relationships could develop into real friendships. That has happened with some of the people in my local group, but it's harder with people from other clubs that I only see once every year.

Speaking of friendships, Trish and I had an incredible lunch the other day - not the food, the conversation. I connect with her in ways I don't connect with anyone else. I've thought a lot about why that is in the last few days. It's that she has no pretense. I figured that out only today. Trish has absolutely no pretense about her - none - she just is who she is. She's very kind and very generous, and beyond that she is completely accepting of people from all walks of life. I will try to learn more from her about being without pretense. It's good to have such a model in my life.

I'm thinking a lot about different friendships these days - what restores me and what taxes me. I have to say all of my friendships are very, very, very positive. We all go through times when we are more "needy," me included. But, overall, my friends are a real joy to me. I am blessed.

Julie's Retirement

Yesterday afternoon I attended Julie's retirement reception. She had a very good turnout, including Leah and Lauren, her granddaughters. Leah is the older one.

She had lots of friends who came to wish her well. I missed Diana by a few minutes I guess. Jan was there, as well as Frances - our former mayor and now a county commissioner. Julie is loved by many in the community.

One of her coworkers made a wall hanging for her. I guess this lady does this for anyone who retires. Getting a handmade gift is so special.

Becky was there, of course, since it's her workplace too.

Julie had worked there almost 20 years so I know this is a big change, but she has a lot on her plate. And this is a good time to retire for her.

Julie's Mom and Dad and her mother in law were there, as well as her daugher and grandchildren, and four of her sisters. It's good to have family that appreciates you. I like all of Julie's sisters that I've met - very nice - very fun. They invited me to join them for coffee afterwards but I had to get ready for the cooking show.

Virginia was there, too. That's her on the left.

Taste of Home

It has been a busy couple of days - so busy I haven't been able to find time to write about it here!

Yesterday I helped with the Taste of Home Cooking Show. This is always fun to do. This was my fourth year to do it. We go in the morning and prep things - chop, dice, etc.

This year the recipes were more complex than last year so it took us longer to prepare. Then we have a break and come back and help on stage during the show.

It's a fun group to work with. The local newspaper sponsors it and Joyce Hall organizes this part of it. Her sister, Jackie, helped and Gayla - who I just adore. She's someone I've run into for years off and on but until I started doing this I didn't work closely with her. But, this is a good group - everyone works hard.

The trickiest thing for us is that we do this in the sports arena so we don't have running water where we're working. We have to haul water in from the concession stand area, half an arena away. It's the hardest part.




They really have a system. Everything is very organized. We get to keep the aprons, which I love. It's always a fun day.

I'm amazed at how excited people get to watch someone cook. Makes me think I should invite people into my kitchen for a fee.

Kristi - the new home economist - was a dream to work with and did a great job.

Mumps

The news here is filled with stories about the mumps. Kansas is one of the nine states where the person who was infected flew to during her contagious stage. So, we are having quite the outbreak. I'm not sure what the fuss is about - it's not like mumps is something people don't survive. I had them when I was five, complete with a setback, and I'm still alive and well nearly 40 years later.

The way people are acting, you'd think it was some horrible thing. They're referring to it as a "dreaded disease" on CNN,while they're saying it's not really that serious. Please, make up your mind.

In actuality, it's very rare for anyone to have any serious problems, including sterility for men. It's inconvenient and unpleasant and that's about it.

I don't remember anyone being that concerned about me when I had the mumps. Nor do I recall anyone bothering to keep their kids away - better to let them get it and be over it.

If you've had the mumps, you're protected from it in the future. You can check your immunizations - you should have had TWO shots to be protected. Or, you can just assume your chances are very slim - which they are - and that it's nothing more than an inconvenience if you get them - and go on living your life normally. This, of course, would be my method.

Rain, Rain, Rain

It has rained here today. I mean... RAINED... this morning and again this evening.

But, we were lucky in Hutchinson. Wichita, and other towns nearby, had horrendous hail. Bigger than golf ball sized, some tennis ball sized. It came in three different waves this morning and did a ton of damage to buildings and cars in Wichita - even denting people's aluminum siding.

It also damaged the wheat crop. Although I've lived in Kansas a long time, I've never quite gotten the hang of the planting cycle here. But, in short, they grow "winter wheat," meaning that it grows over the winter so by now it has heads on it - that's the part that you sell. This is very bad news when hail hits.

Much of the crop is ruined. Some farmers will just cut their losses and plow it under and plant milo, trying to salvage something from the field. Even if they have federal crop insurance and they pay, that combined with the milo sale will not equal what a wheat crop would. It's the difficult life of a farmer summed up.




It has been so very dry here, but the wheat was not looking too bad considering that. And we so needed the rain, but not the hail.

We went out to Dutch Kitchen tonight for dinner and stopped to take some photos of the sunset on the way. Greg took the cool one above when we came out of the restaurant. I snapped this one of the train tracks.

We were paralleling the tracks, anticipating the arrival in a week of an old steam engine that will be on an excursion through here.

One of the last pieces I did for radio was on 8444 and now I'll get to see it again. I got one of the best quotes I ever got - this lady said, "Oh, these old steam engines just have a soul." Just as she finished, the whistle blew. The timing couldn't have been more perfect.

It will be good to see it again.

Roger Landes and Chipper Thompson

I spent an absolutely delightful afternoon listening to the music of Roger Landes and Chipper Thompson. If you have an opportunity to see them in your area, do not miss it. www.rogerlandes.com and www.folk-n-roll.com for more info on each of them.

They played at the Civic Center. It was a bit warm in there - it got up to 96 this afternoon but it wasn't too bad. Well, it wasn't for us - but of course they were the ones working.

That's Landes on the left and Thompson on the right.




They were playing bouzoukis, which I was not familiar with. It was many years ago that I was a music major and I was never very good at it, which is why it was also brief. Oh, gosh, that was a former life... Although I do miss singing... but I digress. Apparently if I'd only paid more attention during The Thistle and Shamrock during my public radio career I would have known.

If you google bouzouki, you'll find many references (and spellings). It has its own wiki page, so what more needs be said. I'm just out of the loop, obviously, not that that's anything new.

The bouzouki is mainly associated with Celtic music now, but its roots are in Greece.

They had four different bouzoukis and two other stringed instruments as well as a few pieces for percussion. I'm always amazed at what gifted musicians can do with just a few pieces of equipment.

Chipper Thompson also sang on a few numbers, which was fun. To top it off, these guys were both really pleasant, and willing to chat with everyone. And they were funny, which is always a plus. I love funny.

We learned that Chipper Thompson is very fond of snakes, and they even did a song they had written together called Whippersnapper Snake, which I really liked (the song, not the reptile). I'm not going to hold his snake fascination against him. I do wish he had dropped by and taken my little visitor from last night with him.

The civic center was overflowing with music. There were about 50 people there, including Trish, Martha and Jim, and Becky. Jim had a chance to talk with them briefly about his recent trip to China with the Prairie Rose Wranglers to perform on the Great Wall.

I think the guys sold a number of CDs, which I'm happy about. I know making a living as a musician is no easy feat.




The music was a mix of tunes from various cultures including Armenian, Irish, Spanish and a host of others, as well as lots of original pieces. Many of the influences were from the Mediterranean region, which I love. It was a great afternoon.
Some of the music reminded me of things I heard in Egypt. There was a particular piece of music the taxi driver I used in Maadi played a lot in the car that I thought of today. All the Mediterranean influence had me enjoying a trip down memory lane at times.

Sometimes when you're traveling you have one of those "moments" where everything is crystal clear in your memory - the sound, the smell, the feeling - one of those for me is being in Alexandria, Egypt, and walking out to look at the Mediterranean Sea. I remember standing there, the wind blowing so hard I could barely hear my companion's words, and knowing that I was a different person than I had been before setting off on that trip.

The stars aligned for me to go to Egypt at a critical time. I needed to move past a really long-term relationship that had ended abruptly and I'm a big believer in what I call "geographic therapy." Some American expats, family of someone I knew here, graciously welcomed me into their home, and made a dream I'd had for 30 years come true. I soaked up everything in Egypt - and came back changed.

Of course, the thing about changes is that you can't ever go back. I'll never again be that woman who got on a plane alone, bound for Cairo, not knowing a word of Arabic, not having the necessary visa, never having met the people I was staying with, and figured all would work out.

I left Egypt almost a month later with a very different concept of the world and my place in it. No one in my world here has ever understood how I changed. I guess it's not of interest to anyone, as no one has ever asked. Being in that very foreign place, the first time I'd ever traveled abroad alone, I learned how to come home to me.

It was in Egypt where I accepted that I live by a different code than most. Life for me is all about this moment - only this moment.

It's why I've made big decisions in ways that seem "casual" to others. Nothing is casual to me - nothing at all. It's all intense - if I'm having a sip of ice cold freshly squeezed lemonade on a scorching hot day, or being kissed gently while the Nile river rushes by below, or sitting on a bench in Monet's garden at Giverny speaking in my halting French to a young child who approached me - it's all intense. And when I fall in love - oh my gosh - intense can't even begin to describe it. I live my life at 110 mph all the time. When you hit a wall going that speed it really hurts. But the ride is amazing. And I'm not willing to give up the ride. Never. I'll take my lumps at the end of it, but I'm not giving it up.

Most of my life people have been admonishing me to "think things through" and "be careful" and "think about what you're doing." What I realized in Egypt was that while they were thinking things through I was living and that one can't really do both. You're either living the moment or spending it thinking about another one in the future; then not living that one while you're planning for yet another one. It's not the life for me.

While others were considering their options, I was going to an Egyptian wedding and crawling around in the Tomb of Ti and climbing the red pyramid. To each his own, but I don't want to think things through. I can't waste the time. We're not here forever. Who knows what the next world will be like, I want to enjoy this one because it's all I have right now.

Thinking things through is not how one ends up inside the Step Pyramid, even though it's closed to the public. It's not how one gets the chance to be alone inside the pyramid of Unas, even though it's closed. Those were two things I desperately wanted to see. Fortunately, an educator I met at Sakkara made those dreams come true for me, as well as that trip to Alexandria.

I wanted to see the spot in Alexandria where Eratosthenes had measured the shadow that gave him a nearly accurate measurement of the Earth's circumference in the third century BC. As my trip was going so quickly, I thought I might not make it to Alexandria, and then this young man offered to go with me and negotiate all the Arabic that would be necessary for me if I wanted. I did.

I realized the day I bought the tickets to Alexandria that the Egyptian way of life really suited me in the context of "whatever will be, will be." They say, "inshallah" - meaning if Allah is willing then it will happen.

Having grown up in the American culture, I guess I never knew there were others like me out there - people who don't care to claw their way to the top of some infamous ladder that no one can even see - but who just want to live and love and laugh and feel and experience. I found, instead, that there are entire nations filled with such people. There just aren't very many of them in the United States or Europe where I had traveled previously.

I no longer belabor giving in to my whims. It may not suit everyone, but it's my way. I'll take my chances it's going to end badly, but I'm not willing to give up the chance it could be amazing.

Some people keep schedules and like it. I keep a schedule because I have to. I'd much rather live by the moment, not by the hour.

Wild Violets

Today is the first time I've seen wild violets blooming in my back yard. It's officially spring. My mom loved wild violets and I never had them in Kansas until the first year I lived i my house, the spring after my mom died. I love their delicate little blooms. They are plentiful in my backyard and I love that. If I knew how to get more of them, I would.

Women's Show

Today was the Fifth Annual Soroptimist's Women's Show at the fairgrounds. They are very generous in giving free space to non profits and the MHA is one of them.

There were lots of people there I knew. Kathie was at the Democratic Women's Club Booth and I also saw Leah working the RSVP booth. That's Leah on the left and Cindy on the right. Cindy is a Soroptimist, so she was very busy today.




I started at 9 this morning and ended at 4. Trish came out and gave me a break and I went and got lunch. That was wonderful to have a break in the day.

I talked to lots of people. I'm still amazed at the education we need to do about mental health issues.

I had a great spot today. Right next to me was the La Leche league and the lady working this morning had her two month old with her. She let me hold the baby for a long time, which was lovely.




Brandi is the baby's name. She was a little doll - just sleeping away. Mom positioned her so I could get a photo. She was a sweetie. And I think maybe she is used to having her photo taken. She seems to be posing, even at 2 months old.

On the other side, with just one table inbetween us, was Burdette's Birdies. Peaches was entertaining numerous people. She was a cool bird. It doesn't show up well in my photos, but she was a beautiful peach color.

Cockatoos live to be 60-70 years old and Peaches is only 8. Her owner has made arrangements for her neice to take Peaches if something happens to her.

At one point, Peaches was resting her head on her owner's shoulder and it was just adorable. She went to a number of different people today at various times. I'm not generally a big fan of birds, but I'm making an exception for Peaches.

This afternoon Terry's Tai Chi class was doing a demonstration. His teacher, Joya, is just marvelous. I've gotten to know her a little bit and really like her. Today is the first time I've seen her do Tai Chi and it was incredible - she is so graceful.













After the show, I headed home to do some things around the house. Late tonight I went out for some groceries. When I'm out of yogurt, apples or pop I have to shop. I was out of yogurt and down to one apple so it was definitely time.

I ran into Terry out there and chatted with him a while. When I got home and was bringing my groceries in, I saw something that I did NOT enjoy.




Yes, that's right, a tiny little snake. I HATE snakes. Hate 'em, hate 'em, hate 'em. And yes, I know all the reasons they're wonderful. I just want them to be wonderful somewhere other than around me. And here this one was right by my front porch. I don't like it all. Not at all... and my ankle hurts now where I got bitten by one last year. Apparently they don't like me much, either.

Podcasting Growing

Libsyn, which hosts many podcasts, announced today that in the first quarter of 2006, there has been a 200% increase in listeners compared to last quarter. They say more than 45 million people listened/viewed podcasts off the Libsyn network in this quarter.

Most people are getting their podcasts from iTunes. I wish they had a category that was more in line with my Art of Gracious Living podcast.

You can read more of the whole report at
http://soundoff.libsyn.com/index.php?post_id=82365

Art of Gracious Living #19

Click here for show #19 and it will automatically download for you. You can listen to podcasts on your computer. You don't need an iPod or any additional software.

This past week I had an opportunity to see former Polish President Lech Walesa at a lecture. I was reminded that just a few months ago I was listening to former Russian President Gorbachev.

I do not live in a major city where such things happen regularly. I just try to take advantage of whatever is offered in my area - a small midwestern town. Hearing the perspective of different people causes us to consider our own lives in a new light.

It's natural for humans to take things for granted in our communities, but breaking that habit can help us all lead more gracious lives.

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