Christmas Tree

This is what I've been doing the last few days. I think this tree is one of my finer creations.

I have enjoyed going through ornaments and remembering special times and people.

I bought this blue and white tree ornament when Matthew and I were in Amsterdam.

I will try to post some more ornament pix, but I really need Greg's magic touch. I took a dozen or so and this was the only one that was in focus. And they look so much better with natural light instead of flash.

Houston Whiteside Tour

Today was the Houston Whiteside Tour. There were four houses and one was Sharon's house. I had hoped to see her and say hello but she wasn't there.

I love old houses and going on the tour reminded me of how much I need to do in my own house. I guess that's how it always is.

Next year the MHA will have a homes tour the first Sunday of December. We alternate with them so next year will be our turn. I have three houses but am still hunting for more.

Cookie Messengers

So I'm decorating a Christmas tree tonight when the doorbell rings. I assume it's Terry dropping by since he's about the only one who really believes me when I say it's OK to drop by. It's always so pleasant to see him so I was smiling when I opened the door. And good thing...

Because there were about a dozen people on my front porch - ranging from 20 somethings to kids. They hand me a plate of homemade cookies and wish me Merry Christmas. I was so flabbergasted with this pleasant surprise I didn't even question who they were or why they were cookie messengers.

There was a handwritten, photocopied note attached to the cookies saying, "Merry Christmas. We are going to change this world. Christmas is a time to celebrate the day God decided to verse the downfall of all creation. Jesus came to this world to make and show the way to be truly human nad restore creation to all its glory. May all the Earth be filled with the Glory of God because... Jesus reigns forever. P.S. Love Wins.

There's no note about a particular church or group, although it is Sunday night of course.

I love the part of the message that "We are going to change this world." There is such optimism in that. No wonder I like younger people - they're optimistic that the world can change. Most of the people my age have long ago given up on making any real change in their lives or in anyone else's.

All in all it was a pleasant surprise. And a new experience. And you know how much I love those - I try to think something new, or do something new, or learn something new every day. Keeps life fresh. Who wouldn't want life to be fresh?

Checking In

Susan called last night, saying that when I hadn't written since Nov. 30 she was concerned about me. So, I thought I'd best do a quick check in.

I did write a post since then but it must have gotten lost in a computer crash or other such foolishness. It was probably just a rant about politics or something - I don't even recall - I'm sure I'm still ticked about whatever it was, though. I'll get back to it as soon as I recall...

I've been busy decorating and tidying the house. Frankly, if I kept my house in more order all the time it wouldn't take me very long to get ready for things. But, I don't. I'm just not a tidy person when it comes to housekeeping. I am a "lived in" person so things are always "casual" at my house. But, once a year, for Christmas, I try to make it more organized. It will, unfortunately, be out the window again in no time. Thank goodness I have an upstairs where I can take things I haven't yet organized. Of course, it needs some major work up there - but that's more than just tidying. After the holidays perhaps I can get to some of that.

I have really neglected my online life the last few months. It seems real life is overflowing in so many directions I can't get it all reined in and kept that way for any amount of time.

This past week I was thinking I was on-track with a lot of projects and was going to get it all under control this weekend when I got a new project on Thursday evening. But, it's a graphic design job that results in me saving a few hundred dollars in the coming months, and making it possible for me to travel more, so I'll just have to work it in. And it's actually a fun job - I just don't have time to think about it and make it as creative as I'd like.

I had planned to get so much Christmas stuff done this weekend and I have done a lot. But I spent a large part of Saturday with "life stuff" - grocery shopping and other "hunting and gathering" necessary for life.

But, I'm just thankful I can afford to grocery shop and that I live where goods are plentiful. As I was shopping this morning, overhearing a man be downright rude to his wife - telling her what she could and couldn't buy in a quite terse tone, topping it off with how stupid she was - I reminded myself that I'm blessed to make my own way in the world and not have to deal with that sort of behavior out of anyone.

Rarely do I see couples shopping when it seems harmonious. I'm always reminded of it being a hallmark of spousal abuse when the husband won't leave his wife alone for even a few minutes. I'm sure it's not always the case, but I'm sure it is sometimes too.

I never know what is appropriate for me to say or do in such a circumstance. This is not a child, but a full grown woman, capable of making her own choices. But this morning I just used the technique suggested in cases where children are being verbally abused and said to the man, "excuse me, would you hand me one of those cartons of sour cream?" It seemed to distract him enough he got off her back for a moment. Who knows if it makes any long term difference, but it at least diffuses the situation for the moment. I didn't really need sour cream, but I'll just find a way to use it.

I'll be baking a lot in the coming week. My annual open house is next Saturday, the 9th. I still have decorating to do and some cleaning to do and on and on and on. But, I will just do what I have time and energy for and let the rest go. And on Saturday, at 5 p.m. I will retire to a bubble bath and leave whatever is not done undone. I refuse to be caught up in trying to make things "perfect." It's simply not possible. So, 90 minutes before the party begins, I will soak and relax and get ready so I can enjoy my own party.

I have about a dozen more cards to send - ones that have been returned or that I just got addresses for. I must get that done this weekend so they arrive in a timely enough manner. I always hope that everyone's card/invite arrives in time and I don't leave anyone out because I'm not thinking it through as much as I'd like. I used to have to limit my guest list because of space but now I can invite more because I have a bigger house. So, that's nice. If you're someone I like enough to send a Christmas card to, you're someone I'd invite to my house - it's so much easier! Of course, it's a busy time of year and so it ends up being a relatively small gathering. But, that's nice, too - it's cozy and comfy.

We were lucky here in Hutchinson and got only a tiny bit of snow, whereas less than an hour away from us parts of the state have been declared disaster areas. I am thankful. I just wasn't ready for a major winter storm quite yet. Maybe in January, after I get back from Kentucky, and after my conference in Texas, then I'll be ready. I'll enjoy a few days of holing up in the house and drinking hot cider and watching the snow. I just wasn't ready yet. Of course, we don't get any say about the weather - it just is.

I have more Christmas shopping yet to do this year than usual. Generally I'm all done by Thanksgiving but I just haven't found those special things this year yet. Of course, I haven't been into my stash to see what I have that I may have forgotten about. I need to keep an ongoing list in my PDA so I always have it with me and can reference it on trips and such.

Well, I must get back to one of my many tasks at hand. Needless to say, there is much to do in my world, as I guess there is in everyone's this time of year. However, today I am taking time to go to the Houston Whiteside Homes Tour. I always enjoy it and it only happens every two years so I don't want to miss it.

No doubt I'll come home feeling bad about the progress I've made in my own house in the past 4 1/2 years. A friend suggested the other day that when I get into another serious relationship, finding a man who's a contractor - a really, realy, really good contractor - would be wise. Unfortunately, as I pointed out to her, a good contractor wouldn't have time to be working on my house - he'd be busy with other people's houses. So, there you go. One of life's many conundrums.

End of November

On this last day of November I've been in constant motion. I have pushed a ton of projects out the door, but still have a bunch to do. I really want to work more on my house but it seems I can't find time to do that. This weekend I'm devoting myself to that, although I am going to attend the Houston Whiteside Homes Tour on Sunday.

I had lunch with Leah today. It was good to see her. I just don't get to see her enough. It has been many months since I've had lunch with her.

Tonight I went to dinner with Sondra and as I was leaving to go pick her up I walked out to catch the tail end of a beautiful sunset. I was sorry I hadn't gone out a tiny bit earlier, but was glad I caught the last minute or two of it.




Tonight I have finished the DSB for Altrusa District Eight and have worked a little on the house. Of course, in the midst of bringing Christmas things up from the basement I decided to stop and change the furnace filters. It was the beginning of a bit of an ADD extravaganza, which resulted in my doing a variety of tasks.

I'm trying to convince myself to go take the trash out to the alley but it's 16 degrees with a wind chill of 5 and it just doesn't sound appealing to go outside at all. Besides, my dumpster is already full. I'll just let them empty it tomorrow and refill it during the daylight hours - that sounds like a better plan.

Besides, if I wait I can bring the dumpster up to the house where it's less likely to have people rooting around in it. I don't know what people find so appealing about my trash, but they can't seem to leave it alone. Which, as I've covered before, I find incredibly creepy. Honest to goodness, it's just trash - there is nothing exciting in it.




I hadn't gotten around to sharing this photo I took the day after Thanksgiving of Greg and his mom. We went to eat at the Gateway Creamery in Joplin, which is a cool place. It was the first time Greg and I had been there.

Anyway, they had this cool game table which we all played with. I really, really sucked at it. Greg sucked at it. Miss Joy wasn't bad at it.

Kiva Loan

This is my latest Kiva loan. I love this. It's something that can make real, sustainable change in the world.

After I posted the one a few days ago, I had email from some readers who got enthused and decided to do this themselves. Please join in if you're so moved! It's a cool deal!

Iraq Panel

The news is breaking now that the Iraq Panel has recommended withdrawal of troops. Well, duh. There's some good thinking. They apparently are not offering a time table. Here's one - yesterday. It can't happen soon enough.

We've created civil war in yet another place in the world. We're unable to control it. The "officials" there are unable to control it. You know who could control it? Saddam Hussein.

He was the guy who controlled it. Admittedly, his methods were not the greatest, but it's not like what we've created is good either. We've managed to kill more people faster - like that's better somehow.

It's a country with three factions and all any of them can agree on is that they hate the other two. Well, I guess they can all agree they hate us. And why wouldn't they?

We have created a whole new set of young men and women with life altering injuries, missing limbs, more mental health problems than we can even imagine at this point, and who knows what else. And what have we accomplished? We've removed the man who kept a lid on the warring factions, so they can be at war with each other, and with us, and soon with others in the region if we don't get out so things can calm down.

Meanwhile the "war on terror" that should be happening in Afghanistan is at a standstill. Isn't that what we were supposedly doing - fighting a war on terror - where the terrorist is? I think that's what congress agreed to do - after being lied to about weapons of mass destruction - fight a war on terror - against terrorists. I mean Bin Laden, just in case you've forgotten since it has been so long since "Mission Accomplished."

We've now been fighting in Iraq longer than we fought in WWII. Unfortunately, it bears a lot more resemblance to the war in Vietnam.

So, here's the Patsy Prediction.

1. We're leaving Iraq. Oh, we're going to maintain a presence in the area, but we're going to tuck tail and run now that we've made this mess. The American people have finally gotten tired of spending billions of dollars a week, and seeing 19 year olds come home without legs. We're slow, but eventually we do catch on. Obviously, our schools need to teach better critical thinking skills so we're not so damned slow on the uptake. But, people finally got it and voted in democrats to get us the hell out of Iraq. And, frankly, getting out is the best thing we can do - we are not wanted, welcome or wise there.

2. As soon as we get out of the way Muqtada al-Sadr is going to become the new Saddam Hussein. He's essentially leading the country already. We just need to get out of the way and allow the sectarian war that has been expected for years to happen. It's happening now with us in the middle of it, making it worse.

3. He will keep control the exact same way Saddam did because it's the only way control can be kept in this kind of circumstance.

Al-Sadr hates Americans more than Hussein did. And just in case there was anyone in the whole country who didn't already hate us, we've made sure to take care of that by invading Iraq and ruining their country, creating a situation where 3,700 Iraqi civilians have died just this month.

I've mentioned it before - but it bears repeating - the only kind of war that has any long lasting effect is true civil war. Not war we start - can you say "Sandinista" - but true civil war. All we do when we start a civil war - can you say "Iraq" - is prolong the inevitable.

Just go back to all news stories and cross out "Saddam Hussein" and write in "Muqtada al-Sadr."

Same song, different verse. ...and the chorus swells... fade to black... and we're out.

Misc

Tonight was Chicks and it was great as always. My topic of the evening was leadership. It's something I would recommend to anyone, but I do want the next level of class. I think that's something that will be coming down the pike eventually.

I have spent the day trying to juggle dozens of different things. That seems to be my life in a nutshell these days. But I'm thankful to have a job I enjoy and the health to lead a full life.

For those of you who have emailed regarding the post about Michael Richards, I appreciate your thoughts, but I stand by my post. There are things you cut people a lot of slack for and there are things you hold their feet to the fire for. I contend this falls into the latter category.

Big Idea Person in a Small Project World

I was reminded again today that I am a "Big Idea Person" in a "Small Project World."

People always say they want big ideas, and they enjoy discussing them, but no one really wants to take them on. Big ideas require a lot of work. Big work.

Instead people want to implement small projects. They can accomplish them in a short amount of time, with little money or commitment, and then move on - feeling like they've done something important.

Somehow those big ideas get pushed aside so small projects can be implemented. Unfortunately, big ideas don't come to fruition through small projects, unless people can look at the big picture and do a lot of small projects. But that never seems possible.

Small projects just result in accomplishing small things. Ah... such is life.

The Day

I have spent the day moving from one project to another, without a moment's down time. And, yet, unfortunately, few projects are completed. I did take time for dinner with Julie tonight after a meeting.

I had planned to continue decorating when I got home but I worked on cards instead. I have four Christmas letters left. I think I will just not send letters with any other cards I send. I don't want to have to make more. Maybe I'll call office max and see if they still have it in their system - if so maybe I'll get more. If I have to resend the whole thing it's not worth it.

I suppose it's quite presumptuous of me to think anyone will want to read my Christmas letter anyway, so it doesn't matter. I think everything in it of any consequence is on the blog anyway.

Tomorrow I'm going to do some running around town.It's supposed to be a nice day, and it may be the last one for awhile. So, I'm going to make use of it. I have a long list of MHA things to take care of and some of them require some running around. I'll enjoy them much more if it's 70 than I will if it's 30.

I am going to head upstairs to bed - it's rare for me to do that before midnight but I got up very early today and haven't slept well lately.

Sleep and I never seem to be on the best of terms. I never, ever, get it when people talk about wanting to sleep - it's a bit of torture for me every day/night. And napping - oh my - why would I want to do it more than I already have to?

If I can just squeeze in about 6 hours a night that's plenty. I'm guessing I may actually sleep about 4 of those hours, and about 90 minutes of that is deep, restful sleep. I'm awake 4 hours after going to sleep and will go back to sleep for another two hours - waking often, but resting some. Then for another hour or two after I wake up I try to write or read so I'm at least getting rest even if I can't sleep.

Racist Talk

I have refrained from commenting here about Michael Richards' racial outburst. However, as of today, I am done refraining. He keeps apologizing so there's no reason for me to not enter into the conversation.

OK, here's the deal, I honestly didn't know there were people walking around using the n-word in their heads - and probably to their friends - to describe people. Oh, I know some who use it outloud - I'm from the south - but I didn't realize there were people walking around thinking it but not saying it.

Frankly, I'm even more disturbed by that. At least when someone is blunt I know where they stand. Now I'm wondering who else is walking around with these thoughts in their heads, but I don't know it because their speech doesn't betray their true feelings. And that is ultimitely the issue - their true feelings.

I realize how naive I am. I thought we were so far beyond this. Like decades beyond it. Surprise. I hate ugly surprises.

I have been very pissed at people before. But I can't imagine a time when the n-word would have been a way I would have chosen to express that anger. Am I less angry? No. But that word just doesn't exist in my vocabulary as a way to describe people so it wouldn't come up. Am I holier than thou? No. Absolutely not. I might use a string of other offensive terminology, but there are lines that are not to be crossed and that is one of them.

Things like referring to people as "niggers" and saying the "Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world" are just not things that are part of what's going on in my brain so they're not going to pop out, even in moments of anger.

And, therein, lies the problem. If those things are coming out of your mouth, they're in your brain somewhere - in your consciousness enough that you can say them without having to think too hard about them. They're in your possible list of insults, just waiting to be pressed into service. And it's hard to believe this is the first time you've ever used them.

Mel Gibson and Michael Richards are just two examples of people who are obviously walking around with feelings we didn't know about. I was happier not knowing.

I won't ever look at "Kramer" the same way. I'm sure Richards' costars really appeciate him choosing to do this just as the Seinfeld DVDs came out for the holidays.

He says he has some anger issues and that he doesn't know where this came from. Well, none of us do. Can anger cause you to hurl insults you're not using - at least occasionally - in your every day private life? Can anger cause you to make statements you don't "feel" at some level of your core being? I don't know. I'm doubtful. But that's a question for the psychologists. He is seeing one now, he says.

I'm guessing Richards will head off to rehab for something soon. It's the answer for any inappropriate behavior from public figures - from sending sexual emails to young men to blaming the Jews for all wars.

Unfortunately, once those words are "out there" they can't be taken back. It's why I have a framed postcard by my door that says, "Les mots qu'on n'a pas dits sont les fleurs du silence." Roughly translated it means, "The words not spoken are the flowers of silence." It's just a nice way to remind myself as I walk out the door every morning to try to keep my mouth shut. I'm more successful some days than others, but at least I don't have things like that rattling around in my brain to keep under control.

Kiva

Sometimes you learn about an idea and you just know it's a big idea. That's what kiva.org is - a big idea.

You can change someone's life with a $25 loan. You'll even get paid back.



Kiva.org works with non-governmental organizations (non profits) in various places around the world. Local entrepreneurs apply for loans and it's then posted on the website. You can pick who you want to support in what areas of the world and by what they're doing.

I chose to lend to a woman in Togo for money for a beauty salon - her profile will be in the box above until her project is completely funded, then another one will appear. You can read more her or any of the others by going to kiva.org yourself.

You get paid back over the next few months, without interest. It's an ingenious idea that allows the average person to invest $25 or more, and make a real difference.

I support Heifer International for the same reason - it's doing something that will have long term effect.

Go take a look at Kiva and find something you'd like to loan to. It feels good.

The Tree

I put more decorations on the tree - actually, that's what I've been doing for the last two and a half hours. I kept thinking I was done, but then I would see a bare spot. When I decided I was really done I went to the basement to take some ornament boxes and discovered an unopened ornament box.

Of course I had to bring it up and go through it. Last year I didn't use all my ornaments and missed some of my favorites. I knew there were two boxes I didn't open last year. Well, this was one of them and I got to rediscover some of my cherished ornaments.

In that box were two glass balls that Mia beaded around that I like to have near the top of the tree. Also, a little teapot ornament that a former board member gave me one year. It also had the ornament I bought at Monticello and a glass star I got at Kate's Paperterie in NYC.

It also had a painted ceramic bell my friend Leah's son, Zach, did when he was about five. He's almost 15 now. Another gift from a friend's child, David Naylor's daughter, Ariana, gave me a dough star with glitter on it when she was little. Well, actually, it was really her mom, Kristin, who gave it to me but I have treasured it all these years. That was probably 12 years ago.

I didn't look at the tag on it, but I do try to tag things with the date and names so I don't have to guess how long it has been. If people give me an ornament and it has a name tag on the gift I try to just save the tag. But, I also just buy little tags that I add to the ones I can't write on.

Decorating the tree is always such a memory-rich experience for me. There are ornaments people have given me, and things I've picked up on trips. There are things people have made, and things they selected specifically for me. I love them all.

I cannot imagine not wanting to have a Christmas tree. It will be a sign to me that I'm getting old if I ever don't want to put up a tree. It's always an indication to me that someone has entered another phase of life when they choose not to decorate. It's something I associate with elderly people, although I know many older people who still decorate trees. My mom did every year.

Of course, sometimes you have to scale back for one reason or another. When I was house-hunting I didn't decorate extensively because I realized I could be moving at any time.

But it's one of the things I love to have - a beautiful, sparkling, bright, cheery Christmas tree. Mine is ready for the icicles and then it will be done. I will try to post some pix soon.

Congratulations Salt Hawks

OK, I'm so not a sports person, despite the fact that the UK Wildcats played a large part in my choice of a university. However, the local High School Football team just won its third state championship in a row. That's impressive, even if you're not a sports fan. So... Congratulations Hutchinson Salt Hawks.

I can't tell you a darned thing about the season - I've been barely aware of it - but even I know a state championship is very cool - much less three in a row. What a treat for the guys who have gotten to play in all three of those games.

Cards and an ID-10-t error

Well, about 95% of my Christmas cards are in the mail. I have some left to do and some that I need to do address corrections on. Due to my own stupidity, I have to reenter some addresses into the computer. It was NOT computer error, it was definitely an ID-10-t error and I'm the idiot. Oh well... all of life is a learning experience.

I just got back from a Thanksgiving trip to Joplin and dropped off a chunk of the cards in Wichita. Since they would go from Hutch to Wichita and back again I thought I'd just short circuit that journey.

I went grocery shopping on my way into town, so I don't have to leave the house again tonight and I can finish the tree and do some other decorating.

Christmas is exactly ONE MONTH from today. I want to enjoy every moment of the season. You only get so many Christmases in a lifetime. I want to relish every one.

Well, I was out with the masses this morning, hunting bargains. It's only my second time to be out in the day after Thanksgiving rush. It's OK the first stop or two, but after that it becom1es a nightmare as more people drag themselves out of bed.

Frankly, if you're not going to get up and go early there isn't much point I don't think. Of course, "early" to some people means beginning Thanksgiving afternoon. I'm not that devoted.

My big purchase of the day was an external hard drive at $100 less than retail after rebates. It was worth getting up early for and worth fighting the crowds for - mainly because there were plenty of the hard drives and no fighting was necessary.

This is what a happy shopper looks like. Still tired, but happy.




I realized as Greg was taking pix that I had not even brushed my hair, much less applied any makeup before leaving this morning. And, unfortunately, I've noticed that I've reached "that age" where I look a lot better with makeup than without it. Most people would be smart enough to not post such a thing on the world wide web, but here it is - me after just rolling out of bed and heading to the stores. I did brush my teeth, but that was about it. I broke my mother's cardinal rule - never leave the house without lipstick. I think that's twice this week I've done that.

One morning Greg and I went to Skaets for breakfast and I thought, "oh, gosh, I never see anyone there I know in the morning - I can go without any makeup." We hadn't even gotten seated until I heard Andrea saying hello and introducing us to her parents who were visiting. It was great to meet them, even though I was doing it without any lipstick.

After a couple of stops this morning, Greg and I went to have breakfast. Then I had a nap. Then Greg had a nap. Then I had another nap. Who needs tryptophan when there's wee-hours-of-the-morning shopping to be done?

It is officially the Christmas season. Now no one can argue with me that the holiday season has arrived. Of course, for me it has been going on for a few weeks. I need prep time.

My tree is about 95% finished, and that's my biggest project for the holidays. I will finish it by the weekend.

I'm working on my Christmas cards tonight. I try to mail a majority of them the day after Thanksgiving. I dropped some in the box tonight already. Of course, I continue to send them throughout the season, but I try to get a lot of them out early.

People always give me a hard time about my Christmas card list. They joke about me working on them months in advance, but they would be hurt if they didn't get one. It's one of those things I'm somehow supposed to magically accomplish without ever working on. I experienced this at a former employer too - all these things were supposed to be done but I wasn't ever supposed to be spending time on them. As of yet I've not figured out how to do that.

I had hoped to have a night to get together with friends and work on cards, but it didn't happen. A couple of people had asked me about doing it and I suggested they host it. No one did - at least not that I was invited to. So, I did my cards as I always do. I would have enjoyed chatting with people while I was doing some of them but I just wasn't in the mood to host it. I still have a number of them to do, but I have at least half of them done.

It has been a gorgeous Thanksgiving Day today - just beautiful. It was a fun day, with a delicious turkey dinner with all the trimmings. I hope you have had a great day. And, let me be the first to wish you a Merry Christmas!

Thanksgiving

It is officially Thanksgiving. I hope you have much to be thankful for this year, and I hope you take time to list some of those things.

I try to spend time each day being grateful. I have so very much to be thankful for. I am healthy. I have much love in my life. I have family I adore and friends I cherish.

It is good to remind ourselves to be thankful for things we take for granted, too. On Maslow's scale, few of us are worried about the basics of food, shelter and safety. We are somewhat unique in this among our world's neighbors. We should never take it for granted. We are fortunate.

Purpose of Business

Black Friday is approaching and already the stories are out about toys that are hard to find. I don't have a child who could be disappointed, but I am so incredibly sick of this whole scenario. Every year it's always something. There aren't enough of whatever.

I hate being played by the manufacturers who want to create artificial demand for their product so they don't make enough. It's so idiotic. Most retailers make half of their income during the holiday season. People want to buy products from the retailer. Manufacturers won't make the products for the people to buy.

I cannot figure out what, exactly, people are trying to accomplish sometimes. It would seem that if you're in business, you want to sell products, but there is considerable evidence to the contrary.

I went to buy prescriptions the other day and found that one was 90 days, as I had asked for, and the other was 60 days. I say, "this isn't right." They say, "oh, we will have to call to get a refill on that." I'm looking at them wondering why they haven't. They start explaining how it's my fault for not getting the same number of pills last time. I just looked at the woman and said, "At some point today, you knew there were only 60 pills. Why didn't you call then, instead of waiting until I come in to pick them up and then tell you to call? Please put a note in my file to just call when the situation arises."

The next day I go in to pick up the other pills. They have not called, they're not ready, they've done nothing. Anticipating this, *I* had called the doctor's office to have them call it in.

But the question remains - are you not engaged in the business of selling me drugs? Is that not your primary business? Why, then, are you making it so difficult for me to purchase drugs from you? I'm wanting to buy more drugs. Isn't this good for business?

It's the same mentality of the printing company I use that doesn't keep a particular paper in stock so everytime I'm doing a newsletter I have to call in advance and make sure they have the paper. Their reason for not having it in stock? They sell a lot of it. OK. If you sell a lot of it, then why wouldn't you order more of it so you have it in stock for people to buy? Are you not in the business of selling things printed on paper? Then why do you not keep the paper that is so popular on hand so people can buy things printed on it?

I'm no business genius, but this seems pretty straight forward to me.

It's the same reason I can't buy my favorite pop a large part of the time. It's almost always just empty shelving. So, why would you not devote more shelf space to the thing that is always empty, instead of having 24 extra cartons of something else that no one is buying? They're not buying it because it's still on the shelf.

The true purpose of business is obviously something other than selling products. Because if selling products were the purpose I would be able to purchase them much more readily. It would not be necessary for me to call for refills, to remind people to order their supplies, and make 3-4 trips before I can find pop on the shelves. The mystery is that I can't determine what the purpose is.

Christmas Parade

Saturday we were in the Christmas parade, with Clarence the dino, as usual. Greg really makes this possible for us to do every year.

He and Terry and I put Clarence on top of the van the night before. At the moment, he's still up there because we haven't been able to coordinate our schedules for 10 minutes to take him down.

I drove in the parade and Greg handed out candy canes. Also helping with distributing candy canes were the Briebiesca clan - Jesse, Joey and Christopher, and Peggy and Gary helped for the first time.







Greg took pix, which I'm sharing here. I tried to take a few during the parade, but you really have to pay attention to what's going on when you're driving. People are not very smart and will let their kids run out to get candy.

A few years ago a girl got her foot run over doing that so people are not supposed to throw candy anymore. We don't, but we are about the only ones. However, I'd just as soon a candy cane with a tag with the MHA on it not be what someone is after when they get run over. So, we hand them out, like we're supposed to.




The parade is always fun but it is some work. Next year we'll have the homes tour to promote so we'll be doing it again.

Cocooned

I am cocooned in my house tonight, working on the Christmas tree while drinking Constant Comment tea. Before Thanksgiving I hope to have the tree finished. I'm going to have to hussle to get that done.

Sometimes I wish I could just do Christmas like other people do - a couple of hours and be done. But, that's just not my way. I put a photo from last year up a few days ago. Needless to say, that takes awhile to get that done.

I spent all morning running from one thing to another. I had an eye doctor's appointment, and guess I'll be wearing these glasses for awhile yet. The new contacts I want to get that you can wear for 30 days aren't available in bifocals yet. As soon as they are I want to get those. My prescription has changed a bit, but nothing major - not worth getting new glasses for.

I managed to work in a lot of things today. I need to tidy up my office a bit after doing candy canes Friday but it's not too bad. I didn't work on it any today. I was hoping the internet would be up at my office since it was down at home, but no such luck. They obviously had a major problem.

I am feeling a bit better, although I did spend most of the afternoon in bed. Those who know me well know I am not a napper, so that's really unusual. I think the problem is that when I'm in bed the coughing keeps me from getting fully rested. So, it takes many hours to equal a normal amount of rest.

I'm starting to wonder if one round of antibiotics is going to do the trick. I may need an extra one. Unfortunate that this is all in the midst of a holiday week, when they won't be in the office normal hours. Obviously, I can't wait until Thursday to decide I need more drugs.

Well, I'd best get back to working on the tree or it won't be done by Thanksgiving.

Candy Canes!

Friday I had volunteers come in and tape little tags to candy canes that we handed out in the Christmas parade Saturday morning. This is always a good event for us, but it does require some prep work.

The first part of it is buying the candy canes when they're on sale after Christmas! I run a non profit, so I have to get a deal on them in order to be able to do this event.

It went very well. Gary and Peggy walked for the first time, handing out candy canes. Jesse, Joey and their nephew, Chris did as well. And, of course, Greg did. We never seem to have enough people. I'm not sure how many that would take. It's a fun event.

There are some great volunteers who come in to help with various projects, and Doris is one of my favorites. She has done so many things for me over the years. They were teasing me that I was probably the only person who would ask for taping mini-flyers onto candy canes.

Other than what I had to do to get ready, I've been in bed. I have a respitory infection and haven't felt the greatest. I called the doc for some antibiotics on Friday and am feeling better with those in my system, but I will be glad when I am well again.

I hardly ever get sick and this is the second time I've had this in about three months. Hopefully this will be it for being sick for me for the whole winter, plus some.

I got all my test results back from the recent physical, and all was good. Cholesterol was 104, sugar was 100, everything all normal. I have a mammogram in January - hopefully that will come back normal as well. And I see the eye doctor Monday. I think I'll be getting new glasses because I know I'm spending way too much time lifting these to see something close. That means a new prescription. I'm just glad I live in a time when I can get such a thing.

I'm working on Christmas cards, trying to gather the addresses I need to find for various people I've met in the past year that aren't already in the files. I used to hand address all my cards, but a few years ago started using the computer. Otherwise I just wouldn't get it done. I realize it's not as personal, but there you go. I also do one of those letters that are loved by some and hated by others. Again, not as personal, but I simply am not going to write 300 notes into cards. So, it's a compromise.

At this point, the rush is to get the ones out that have invitations in them for timely events. Others can go out anytime between now and Christmas.

I know cards have become a less common thing, but I really think they're something people love to get.

Leadership Graduation

Leadership Graduation was Wednesday night. Each of the five project groups made a little presentation about what we did.

I don't have any photos of my group, of course, since I was in it. But I did get a chance to snap some pix of three of the groups, and our instructors, Lynette and Kris.

One of our class members was thoughtful enough to spearhead getting bouquets of flowers for them as thank yous. (Thank you, Jennifer, for taking care of that!) They both put a lot of themselves into the class and it is appreciated.




One group did a logo for Leadership Reno County, which was great.




Another group took on putting up a sign for Lincoln School. Janice, with the kids in this photo, has been instrumental in working on that area. Curtis, who has the mic, has been a delight to get to know. He is a contractor with Heib Construction and has an amazing sense of humor. He did a great job making their presentation fun. Of course, kids always help that a bit.




Curtis also helped with another project where they built a shed for Big Brothers/Big Sisters. Connie, who was in that project group, did a whole power point presentation about that and it was great fun to watch.

Our group delivered brochures about watering to the homes where the city has planted trees. And the final group also did a "green" project.

They identified all the various green spaces in the area, and linked them into a map online. There were some I wasn't aware of on their list.




All in all, it was a great experience to do the leadership class. I really enjoyed getting to know these folks.

They asked us early on if we had a sinking feeling when we saw the list of, "oh, no, not that person..." but I didn't because I didn't really know any of these folks. There were three people that I knew who they were, but I didn't know any of them well - two of them just to know who they were and nothing more.

At the end of the class, I can honestly say that I like everyone more than I did at the beginning of class and would not hesitate to get together with anyone from class. There are some folks I'm really going to miss seeing every week.

A Less Stressful Day

I took today off since I'm working this weekend. I needed a day of relaxing a bit.

Of course, I have pretty much been in constant motion all day, working on Christmas things. I'm not sure being on the move all day is exactly relaxing, but I did get some things done. Not as much as I would have liked, of course.

It takes so much work to get my house the way I want it for the holidays. But I enjoy it so very much. Of course, then I have to dismantle it all, too. But, it's worth it.

I've added another gathering to my December calendar - a get together for my leadership class. It will be fun to see everyone again.

I love to entertain, particularly in December. The house is decorated and it's a breeze to have people over.

Tonight is Creative Sisterhood. I have everything ready and am just taking a little break before everyone arrives. I should probably be collating/folding/stapling my Christmas letter instead of blogging!

"Hoity-Toity"

I am thinking a lot these days about my life and how I'm perceived by others. I have come to realize that some people consider me "hoity-toity." That is so incredibly far removed from who I am and how I was raised that it's hard for me to even wrap my mind around it.

I grew up on a farm in Kentucky - at the dead-end of Terrell Rd., which didn't even have a name when I was growing up on it. It was a house my parents bought in 1949.

My childhood was filled with what we now euphemistically call "risk factors."

My father was an alcoholic, and died when I was 11, leaving my mother as a single parent. I was very fortunate that my mother was an extraordinary human being and an exceptional parent who put what was best for me above all else. Her belief in what was best for me was to get an education and that was all she focused on. Of my four nephews and me, only two of us went to college.

We were poor when I was a kid - don't get me wrong, we were never hungry - but we were poor. Only in retrospect do I realize just how poor we were. I guess being in the first Head Start class would have been one clue. But children don't think about those things.

I remember when the indoor plumbing was put into our house - I was young, but old enough to remember it. My cousin, Jimmy, helped dig the septic tank. I was young enough to think playing in the big hole they were making was fun. There probably are not too many people age 44 who can remember that, but I do. And, frankly, I'm blessed to be able to say that, because it gives me a very different perspective on the world.

I grew up saying, "ain't" and not knowing there was a different way until my third grade teacher, Mrs. Chandler, insisted we change. I would never have had the broadcasting career I had without her influence. I saw my first movie at the theatre at age 11. I was with my cousin, Brian, and it was as foreign to me then as trying to write in Chinese would be to me now. I knew people do such things, but I have never seen it myself.

I was never more than 200 miles from home until I was 13, when we went to visit my Aunt Eva in El Paso.

Verbal abuse between the adults in my world was an every day occurrence. It does something to you when you hear that every day - I'm not sure exactly what - but I'm sure it's no accident that my first career choice of working in radio involved controlling sound.

My childhood had loss, poverty, alcoholism and a good sprinkling of sexual abuse added in. But, when I was living it, I didn't give it a second thought - it just "was." And even in retrospect, I am more thankful for it than traumatized by it. Maybe that's because of the years of therapy, but I can honestly say it's true - now.

Yet I would still describe my childhood as idyllic in many ways. Is that a defense mechanism or is it just choosing to focus on what's "right?" I don't know.

I refuse to be defined by things that happened "to" me. I will only be defined by things I "chose." Those I will take responsibility for, even if the choices were not necessarily the best that could have been made, and I have a long list of those. We all have to learn - some lessons we have to learn "the hard way," and that was true for me with some things. I truly believe you do the best you can with the person you are at the time and when you know better, you do better. I do better now than I did when I was 20. Hopefully in another 20 years I'll do better still.

When I was growing up, I never imagined I'd walk in the Paris snow or bask in the Egyptian sun. I could never have imagined I'd go to Honduras to see the work of the foundation who's board I chaired. I probably didn't know Honduras existed. I could not have imagined I would attend Broadway shows or converse intelligently about impressionist art. Frankly, I didn't even know there were any people like that, much less that I would ever desire to be one of them.

I didn't think about the days I would walk the ground inside the Roman Coliseum, pray inside the pyramid of Unas at Sakkara, or stand inside the ancient circle of Stonehenge. I did not dream of being kissed on the banks of the Nile River, charmed by a Frenchman met on a cruise ship, or being moved to tears at the Anne Frank house in Amsterdam.

I didn't dream those things or any others. I didn't have dreams, at least not that I can recall. I'm not sure when I started having dreams. And it wasn't really dreams as much as the belief that things are possible - and that you'd better get about doing them because there may be no tomorrow.

I went to my first funeral of someone I loved when I was five. My great Aunt Ann had been a big part of my young life. Her death taught me things can change very quickly. Don't plan for a future that may not come. I've never felt there was a future - only right now - only this moment - it's all there is.

Somewhere along the way I started to have dreams, but they were still small ones. But I started to dream. I started to want to live a different life. I didn't know what it was, or what it looked like, but I knew it was different.

And as these ideas took hold I developed an idea that the world should be fair - for everyone. That led me to a career in journalism for radio, print and TV. Once I understand how the media worked I realized that could be used in PR and marketing in a different way. Now I use all those skills for mental health, as well as other projects.

How did I get to be this person? I don't know. I'm trying to figure that out. As often is the case, Greg gave me some insight when we were talking. He said I am not a "climber," leaving anything behind. Instead I kept all of what I was raised with and just added to it. Instead of leaving anything behind I just added to it, broadening the spectrum.

Maybe this is why I have been in love with a farm boy and I have been infatuated with a judge. Maybe it's why I love barbecue but my favorite dessert is bananas foster. Maybe it's why I'm familiar with the music of Kenny Chesney and Johann Sebastian Bach. Maybe it's why I stay in touch with people over a long time period - they're still part of my life, even if it's a different time.

Maybe it's why I can never decide where I belong, because I don't live in only one world, but I'm not really accepted by either. I'm a little too rough around the edges for "society" and a little too "hoity-toity" for others.

When people suggest that I'm "hoity-toity," it makes me feel unloyal to my upbringing, although I have no control over how others perceive me. I'm not sure why it matters to me, but it does. I want people to know who I am, with all the stages of my life represented, and still accept me - or not. But I don't want to be judged on only this one sliver of life - for it is just a moment, a brief moment, and tomorrow will be different.

Long days

I have had a very long day, that has stretched into the next day, which is yet another very long day. I'm about to get worn out. It takes a lot for me to feel overwhelmed, but I'm getting close. The first quarter of the year is incredibly busy but this has turned into a very busy last quarter as well. I can go, go, go, go, go for a long time, but eventually I get to the point where I need some rest. I'm there. I must get to bed because I need to get up in five hours.

Buddhist evening prayer

I ran across this today and thought it worthy of noting. It's a Buddhist evening prayer.


Let me respectfully Remind you,

Life and death are of supreme importance

Time swiftly passes by and opportunity is lost.

let us awaken

Awaken

Take heed

Do not squander your lives...

Scenes of Life

I've been so occupied lately that I've not been taking the time to post pix of various scenes in my world, or even write here. Needless to say, I've been spending a lot of time with politics - locally and calling for races in other places. And, of course, having one day a week devoted to leadership has taken some significant energy. This week is my turn to work with a group to do the setup so it will be even more time.

Last weekend was the Altrusa This and That sale. I didn't help at all. I just could not commit to one more thing when they were asking for people to agree to do various things. Plus, I wasn't sure if I would be in town. But, I was, and stopped by to buy my pecans. Altrusa orders fresh crop pecans to sell there and they are wonderful. I bought five pounds of them to use.

Jocelyn had a booth set up so I ended up visiting with her for an hour or so. It was good to see her. Now that she's in Wichita all week it's hard to hook up with her.




I did go take a walk at sandhills one day with Greg. The hedg eapples are all over the ground in places. These things are great to put in your basement - they keep the crickets away. I don't know why. I just know it works. And if you keep the crickets away you keep the spiders away because they come to eat the crickets.

We have had some great days here weatherwise, although the last few days fall has arrived with more blustery days and night.

But this particular day it was gorgeous outside and we decided to take advantage of it with a late afternoon walk.




Of course, I wrote about going to see Garrison in Lindsborg. I didn't get a chance to mention that across from Presser Hall is this church. They had the lights on so the stained glass was beautiful.




I ran into an old friend at the Keillor performance, but didn't have time for more than saying hello. Sometimes there are people in your world that you have a history with that you don't see for a long time and then when you do it's instant connection again. He and I are like that. We may not see each other for years, even though we live within 30 miles of each other, and when we do I'm reminded of how much I miss him.

However, neither of us makes the effort to connect any other time. I'm not sure why. I used to, but it was just too complex to work out schedules. And, generally, when it's that complex it just means the other person doesn't really want to get together - for whatever reason.

We don't have any "baggage" between us so I'm not sure what the reason is, but it is obviously there. If people are "too busy" for five years to get together, they don't want to get together with you. Five weeks I can understand. Even five months if your life is full. But, not years.

I really enjoy being around him, and when we're together he seems to feel the same, but I long ago accepted that he obviously does not share my interest in getting together.

Teresa has told me before that it "takes a lot of energy" to be around me. So, maybe that's the deal - it's just too much energy for him to expend. Whatever the case. I'll just be happy to see him when I bump into him and let it go at that.

It's not like I'm hard to find - google my name and you can find an email for me in about two seconds. So, if he ever has a desire to get together we can. Otherwise we'll just exchange the occasional pleasantry and let it be.

Jason from ATT

I had a great Random Act of Kindness this week.

I was walking into my office building after a late lunch on Thursday and my cell rang. When I answered a guy said, "Patsy, this is Jason with ATandT." I thought it was a marketing call but thank goodness I didn't cut him off.

He went on to say, "I found your name tag in the Ken's Pizza parking lot. I had a ticket near your office so thought I'd drop it by but I see you're not in." I told him I was just coming into the building and so he waited for me upstairs and gave it back to me.

I thanked him profusely. It was so sweet of him to pick it up, track me down, come to my office and return it to me. The timing was great, as well.

It was the epitome of a Random Act of Kindness.

Being Open - Art of Gracious Living #46

I recently took a trip with a friend. The idea of being open became a motto for us during our travels. We each had experiences we would not have had left to our own devices because we went along on excursions the other person wanted to do.

Greg went with me to tea at the Empress Hotel in Victoria, Canada. I went to the Alibi Tiki Bar in Portland with him.

Part of leading a gracious life is being open to experience.

Hear more about it by listening to the Art of Gracious Living Podcast.



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