Petition

http://www.tedkennedy.com/page/s/ourdecision

You can sign a petition to support Ted Kennedy's legislation regarding escalation in Iraq. It states that any substantial new commitment in Iraq requires a plan from the administration and explicit authorization from Congress.

Clearing

I am in a clearing out mood - a major mood. Tonight I've discarded clothes, furniture, momentos from old boyfriends, magazines, bed linens and a few other things.

I want my home clear of all negative energy. I am making room for new, positive things to come into my life.

I always know when I'm really ready for this sort of thing - I feel no pain over tossing things I once treasured into the trash. Such is the case tonight with things I once loved from people I once loved. C'est la vie.

It will not be much longer until I start clearing out people. That's always the final part of one of these moods.

Patsy's Studio

Well, I just ran across this an art community online and decided to join. The first task is to get your studio ready, and to post some pix of it. Everyone is talking about how messy theirs are. Having no shame, I posted the following:

I am not posting pix of my studio yet because I can't even get in there to take one. How's that for messy? I have been trying to motivate myself to work on it so this is a good push to do that. I will post pix as soon as I - and a camera - can get in there. At the moment it just looks like a storage facility, which is what it basically is.

I had my hardwood floors refinished and used the studio to store furniture and such because I wasn't having those floors done - too much fun to slop paint all over the ugly tile in there.

OK, so that sounds like such a reasonable, logical excuse for a messy studio, Right? Well, here's the rest of the story, as Paul Harvey would say - I had the floors done in August. Of 2005. Now that it's 2007, that sounds like a very, very, very long time ago.

I have been thinking for a couple of weeks that not using the studio has been making me cranky. So, all the more reason to get it useable. No one likes me cranky - esp. not me.

Perhaps my role here is to make everyone else feel better about themselves.

Phone Shopping

Although it was officially a holiday today I did work, including a speech this evening. But, I also got out and did some phone shopping.

I have to replace my cell phone. Yet again. I am so weary of the yearly cycle of choosing a new phone. They're all crap. I take pretty good care of my phones and at about a year old they start to lose signal more and more, and it just keeps going downhill from there.

Of course, they say the phone is fine and they say their signal is fine. Then, just about the time the phone is out of warranty, the phone suddenly has a problem that didn't exist the week before. Magic how that happens. Repeatedly.

I want a phone that places and receives calls - and does those two functions incredibly well. I don't need my phone to take photos, read email, surf the internet, play games or listen to music - I just want it to place and receive calls reliably. Unfortunately, those seem to be little more than ancillary functions anymore.

As if phone shopping were not annoying enough, today I had to deal with Jessie. The girl was totally clueless. All of that gum smacking must have killed some brain cells and this chick didn't have any to waste.

Capitol Steps

Saturday evening I got to see the Capitol Steps at the Fox Theatre. I had seen them before when they performed as part of the Dillon Lecture Series a few years ago, but of course their material is always different because their focus is political satire.

Teresa had extra tickets and offered one to me. I hadn't thought I'd be here this weekend so hadn't thought much about the performance. Anyway, I eagerly accepted.

Teresa actually had six tickets so we invited Terry to join us. I called Andrea to see if she wanted to go and she was planning to buy a ticket so it worked out great. We were also able to give one to Dotty, so only one ticket went to waste. I called Jocelyn but she was snowed in in Wichita. I called Diana but she didn't respond. Julie had other plans and Cleta was babysitting. Debbie and Kathie already had tickets. Needless to say, we saw a ton of people we knew.

They didn't allow photos so I don't have any pix to share. They were funny, as always. We all loved their Supreme Court Justice take off of "Staying Alive."

After the performance, Terry, Teresa and I went to see Andrea's new place. Martha and Jim were there, too. We had some tea and some wonderful conversation. Then Terry and Teresa came back to my house and we made more tea and had more conversation.

It turned out to be a lovely evening. It is cold here - I'm not sure it has gotten up to 20 all day - but it was worth getting out in. We all had fun.

Mission Accomplished

I realize you're not used to seeing the National Review mentioned here, so I apologize for the shock. But, I must point you toward the following link for their wrap up of an assessment of Bush's latest insane idea of sending yet more troops to Iraq.

Their own opinion includes the following: "Frankly, as he has over the past few weeks, Bush looked like a man who is in way over his head, which he is. The man who got the country into this hole, and whose neglect and incompetence dug us deeper into into it, looks like a man who would like nothing more than to get back to Crawford. We'd all be better off if he would."

I will copy it over at the end of this post in case it's taken down at their site, but it will lose some formatting that's important and the clickable links so I encourage you to view it at their site. It's fascinating.

http://conways.nationalreview.com/post/
?q=OGNkNWZhOTM1YTQ4M
jY0MTdmODFlOTdjNTM0MDQwYTU=

I had lunch with my friend, Teresa, today. She said she is starting to think Bush needs an exam to make sure he's mentally competent. I have been on vacation and not keeping up on all the details of the news, although I got the highlights, if you can call them that. However, after reading more today, I have to say I agree with her. This man is showing signs of making unsound judgements - and I don't mean in a political sense - I mean in a mentally unstable sense. He has become obsessed with this one thing and cannot see anything beyond it.

When you hold a position that almost everyone thinks is wrong you do have to consider your position. You may come to the conclusion that they just haven't caught on yet, but that examination is an important part of the process.

When you've been fighting a war for almost four years, and have been responsible for the deaths of thousands of people, and you've made no real progress - in fact it could be argued things are worse now than before you started, and most others "in the know" think your plan is not wise, you really need to consider the facts.

It is hard to believe we are only six years into the Bush presidency. It seems like it was 20 years ago that Clinton was in the White House, and we were at peace, with a surplus in the budget, prosperous, with no deficit. He was the last president before Bush. I have to keep reminding myself it was only six years ago. It seems like we've been at war forever, pouring money down the drain, killing people, increasing our debt exponentially by the hour.

In case you've lost track of what the war is costing you, you can check out http://nationalpriorities.org/index.php?option=com_wrapper&Itemid=182.

You can compare the costs of the war to that of public education, housing, etc. You can also see what it's costing your town. In my community of about 40,000, our cost tonight is over $34,000,000. I have not contributed a million dollars to the war effort, and yet that is quickly what my share is mounting toward. It's over that already, of course, since not everyone in my community is old enough to be paying taxes.



_____________



From Reconcilable Differences - Two Conways, Two Takes

George's Take
"Too Little, Too Late -- Way Too Late"
01/11 09:59 AM

An analysis by Thomas Ricks in today's Washington Post raises serious questions as to whether the "surge" will make any lasting difference at all:

An Army officer who recently commanded a battalion in Baghdad predicted last night that the plan would fail because Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki and his government "will do things to maintain protection" of Sadr's forces. He also dismissed as "happy talk" the president's notion that the predominantly Shiite Iraqi army and police could reassure pro-insurgent Sunni neighborhoods by conducting foot patrols through them.

Bush said it is now clear that there have not been sufficient troops in Baghdad, and that part of the difference in this approach is that the plan will be adequately resourced. Yet the total number of U.S. troops in Iraq after the planned increase will be about 153,000, less than the peak of about 165,000 in December 2005. Military experts last night wondered, as one said, how a "thin green line" of 17,500 additional soldiers in Baghdad could affect the security situation in a city where many of the 5 million residents are hostile to the U.S. presence. "Too little, too late � way too late," said retired Col. Jerry Durrant, who has worked as a trainer of Iraqi forces.

The Joint Chiefs of Staff have resisted Bush's push for more troops, according to officials familiar with internal deliberations, but recently gave in to the president's wishes. Bush said last night that top commanders reviewed the new plans to add a total of 21,500 Army and Marine forces in Baghdad and Anbar province and approved of them.

"The 'surge' is actually quite small," said retired Army Col. Andrew Bacevich, who compared it with the 206,000 additional troops that Gen. William Westmoreland requested in Vietnam in 1968. "In effect, Bush is counting on the Iraqis to pull our bacon out of the fire," Bacevich said, adding that there is no evidence that the Iraqi military and government are capable of doing so.

And over at the Corner, John Derbyshire succinctly points out the complete illogic in Bush's latest version of his strategy:

Sorry, but it struck me as a snow job, from an administration that�pretty much like the rest of us�has no clue where to go from here.

The central and most glaring contradiction is the implied threat to walk away... Yoked to the ringing declaration that, of course, we can't walk away. We seem to be saying to the Maliki govt.: "Hey, you guys better step up to your responsibilites, or else we're outa here." This, a few sentences after saying that we can't leave the place without a victory. So-o-o-o:

�-We can't leave Iraq without a victory.

�-Unless Maliki & Co. get their act together, we can't achieve victory.

�-If Maliki & Co. don't get their act together, we'll leave.

It's been a while since I studied classical logic, but it seems to me that this syllogism leaks like a sieve.

Derb also rightly points that it's hard to take seriously the implied threats Bush seems to be making to Iran and Syria:

The President: "Iran is providing material support for attacks on American troops. We will disrupt the attacks on our forces. We will interrupt the flow of support from Iran and Syria." We haven't been doing this? We haven't been doing this? How many of the the 21,500 troops of the "surge" will be assigned to these operations? Leaving how many for Baghdad and Anbar? Shall we have a "hot pursuit" policy?

And, returning to the issue of sticks: What, exactly, do Iran and Syria have to fear from us, whatever they do?

Andy McCarthy pretty much makes the same point:

In any event, most telling was one administration official�s sense that our forces in Iraq had �sure sent a signal to the Iranians� by detaining the Iranian military officials who were captured in raids in mid-December. Yet, even as the president was preparing his new strategy, even as he was readying the words of warning he uttered so forcefully last night, those Iranians were released by the Maliki government and sent back to Iran after about a week in custody.

What signal can this have sent? This one: If you�re an Iranian in Iraq helping to kill American troops, the comeuppance is that we�ll hold you for a few days and then send you back home.

Actions, the old saw tells us, speak louder than words. Given our actions, and what they imply about our sentiments, it�s going to take a lot more than last night�s rhetoric to make an impression on Iran and Syria.

Indeed, Ahmadinejad and Assad should be thrilled that Bush is tying up more assets in Baghdad and Anbar. They've got us right where they want us.

So much for substance. On style, Tom Shales correctly remarks {in the Washington Post] how tense, anxious and rigid Bush looked last night. Frankly, as he has over the past few weeks, Bush looked like a man who is in way over his head, which he is. The man who got the country into this hole, and whose neglect and incompetence dug us deeper into into it, looks like a man who would like nothing more than to get back to Crawford. We'd all be better off if he would.

Candy Darling

Wednesday afternoon I went to the Austin Museum of Art to see the exhibit, "Radical NY." It was about the era when avant garde art really came into its own in the 70s. Keith Haring, Andy Warhol, Robert Mapplethorpe and many others were represented.

One of the most striking pieces was Peter Hujar's photograph, "Candy Darling on her Deathbed." Seeing an image online or in print is never the same as seeing it in person. I found it online in numerous places, and put one here to illustrate, but seeing the actual print gives tone and color you just can't replicate.




Candy Darling, born James Lawrence Slattery, was a transsexual actress who appeared in Warhol films, as well as others. Candy died of leukemia in 1974, at only 29, apparently a side effect of the hormones.

Candy's funeral was attended by Julie Newmar, Gloria Swanson, and a host of other celebrities of the day.

This photograph was taken, literally, on her death bed. Apparently she maintained her look, with complete makeup, until the end.

Candy was the inspiration for Lou Reed's song, "Walk on the Wild Side." I went and looked up the lyrics since it had been awhile since I had heard it. Candy is the one associated with the most famous line of the song. Most guys who loved that line probably had no idea that "Candy" was a pre-op transsexual. I wish I could see the face of Doug, this guy I knew in college, who loved this tune, when he got that bit of news. Candy apparently referred to the penis as "my flaw."

In the process of finding those lyrics, I found information saying Candy also inspired Reed's song, "Candy Says," recorded on the Velvet Underground's third album. This is not a tune I know, but I listened to a bit of it online and it is haunting.

This image was used in the last couple of years as cover art for "I Am a Bird Now" by Antony Hegarty of Antony and the Johnsons fame. In a "full circle" way, it was Lou Reed who garnered more attention for Antony after hearing an early recording.

Reed, and Boy George, are guest vocalists on "I Am a Bird Now." Reed also made an appearance on the earlier "The Lake." Antony has quite a following, including Kate Bush, Bjork, Philip Glass and Laurie Anderson, who was also represented in the Radical NY exhibit I went to see. Connections are amazing, aren't they?

Antony and the Johnsons consider many aspects of the transgender life in their music. Antony is transgender and sings songs like "For Today I am a Boy," which chronicles a boy's dream of growing up to be a woman.

OK, so it's not a dream every young boy has, but not everyone can grow up to be a fireman.

Walk On The Wild Side Lyrics

Holly came from Miami, F.L.A.
Hitch-hiked her way across the USA
Plucked her eyebrows on the way
Shaved her legs and then he was a she
She says, Hey babe
Take a walk on the wild side
Hey honey
Take a walk on the wild side

Candy came from out on the Island
In the backroom she was everybody's darlin'
But she never lost her head
Even when she was giving head
She says, Hey babe
Take a walk on the wild side
I Said, Hey baby
Take a walk on the wild side
And the coloured girls go
doo do doo do doo do do doo..

Little Joe never once gave it away
Everybody had to pay and pay
A hustle here and a hustle there
New York City's the place where they say,
Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side
I said, Hey Joe
Take a walk on the wild side

Sugar Plum Fairy came and hit the streets
Lookin' for soul food and a place to eat
Went to the Apollo
You should've seen em go go go
They said, Hey shuga Take a walk on the wild side
I Said, Hey babe
Take a walk on the wild side
All right, huh

Jackie is just speeding away
Thought she was James Dean for a day
Then I guess she had to crash
Valium would have helped that bash
Said, Hey babe,
Take a walk on the wild side
I said, Hey honey,
Take a walk on the wild side
and the coloured girls say,
doo do doo do doo do do doo



Candy Says Lyrics

Candy says, I've come to hate my body
And all that it requires in this world

Candy says, I'd like to know completely
What all they discretely talk about

I'm gonna watch the blue birds fly
over my shoulder
I'm gonna watch them pass me by
maybe when I'm older

What do you think I'd see
if I could walk away from me

Candy says, I hate the quiet places
That cause the smallest taste of what will be

Candy says, I hate the big decisions
That cause endless revisions in my mind

I'm gonna watch the bluebirds fly
over my shoulder
I'm gonna watch them pass me by
maybe when I'm older

What do you think I'd see
if I could walk away from me

Home Sooner Than Expected

I am back in Hutchinson, although I had not planned to return until Sunday.

This morning I woke up in Austin where I had a full day of tourist activities planned. However, after CNN described the ice storm headed for Oklahoma as "devastating," I decided I would have to forgo my plans.

I didn't even get to eat the Magnolia Cafe, which was high on my list. The plan was for breakfast there this morning but I was busy throwing my things in my bag and hitting the road instead.

We are supposed to get some ice here, but it sounds like Oklahoma is going to get it much worse. I just happened to be where I needed to drive all the way across Oklahoma, north to south.While I had planned to do that Saturday/Sunday it seems unlikely anyone will want to by then.

So, I'm home.

Saturday I went to see "Collecting the Impressionists," a special exhibit at the San Antonio Museum of Art, which consisted of 12 paintings from the Sterling and Francine Clark Art Institute of Williamstown, Massachusetts.

While 12 paintings may not seem like much of an exhibit, in this case it wsa extraordinary. Included were the following:

Renoir - "Onions" - 1881
Renoir - "At the Concert" - 1880
Renoir - "A Girl with a Fan" - 1879-80?
Pissaro - "Piette's House at Montfoucault" - 1874
Manet - "Moss Roses in Vase" - 1882
Renoir - "A Girl Crocheting" - c. 1875
Pissaro - "The River Oise near Pontoise" - c. 1873
Renoir - "Self Portrait" - c. 1875
Monet - "The Duck Pond" - 1874
Degas - "The Dancing Lesson" - 1880
Morisot - "The Bath (Girl Arranging her Hair)" - 1885-86
Monet - "Spring in Giverny" - 1890

Robert Sterling Clark was the grandson of one of the founders of the Singer Sewing Machine Company. He began collecting art, but it was his French wife, Francine, who directed him toward the impressionists.

Renoir's "A Girl Crocheting" was the first impressionist painting they purchased and Renoir was to remain a favorite. They owned 39 paintings by Renoir, more than any other artist in their collection. By comparison, they owned seven works by Pissaro and the same number by Monet.

One of the highlights of this exhibit is "Onions," the atypical Renoir painting included. The vibrant colors and the vigorous brushstrokes are quintessential Renoir, but applied to a different subject. Clark said it was one of his favorites, and one that was always noticed by a dealer who visited their home where it was hung.

The Renoir self-portrait was done when he was 34 and shows the artist with a penetrating gaze. Renoir referred to it as a "paltry sketch" but did exhibit it in the 1876 impressionist exhibit. He did not apply the same delicate touch to his own skin tone that he gave to the women and girls he painted regularly.

The other three Renoir works are more typical - all include young women in various settings with the beautiful skin he is known for. The painting of girls at a concert is also a minor art lesson with all the triangular shapes present from the neckline to the position of bent arms and the paper around the roses, not to mention the central rose on the woman's dress.

The Degas is his traditional subject of ballet dancers, but its composition is unusual. It's painted on a diagonal and a splash of color on the costume of the central dancer draws your eye.

The two Monet works are both plein air. The Duck Pond is a study in color, with all the oranges and blues present. "Spring in Giverny" combines the beautiful, ethereal landscapes he is known for, but you can also glimpse what is to come in his later years in the building that is thought to be the rail station. It's as if the future is there in the distance. Unlike the trees, which are soft and delicate, the building has the broader brush strokes and thicker paint seen more often in his later works, particularly the final works he gave to the French state, his waterlillies series that hangs in Paris.

The two Pissaro paintings in this exhibit are both from the first years of the impressionist movement. Pissaro was the only artist to show in all eight of the original exhibits between 1874-1886.

The Morisot painting included is one that Monet owned the last 30 years of his life. The Clarks bought it in 1949 from his heirs. It's always curious to me to see what other artists value.

The Manet painting shown here expresses his unique place in the story of the impressionists. He was always rooted in the more traditional art world, but willing to experiment too. This painting is a perfect synthesis of the two things - a traditional subject of flowers in a vase - given an impressionist treatment.

This exhibit has left San Antonio now and will open at the Norton Museum of Art in West Palm Beach, Florida on Jan. 20. It will run until March 11, 2007.

After that it will go to the Joslyn Art Museum in Omaha, Nebraska. It will be there from March 24 t0 May 13, 2007.

My hope is to see it again in Nebraska. The Joslyn is a good museum. They have one of the Degas sculptures of the dancer with the fabric tutu. There are only 14 of them. The Clark exhibit will probably get me up there for another visit.

I have been at an MHA conference that ends today. I'm packing up my stuff during a break so I can check out of this nice hotel. I so love nice hotels, but I digress.

As always, this has been an interesting conference. Mental Health is a fascinating field to be in and the people working in it are highly intelligent and incredibly passionate. One of them summed it up by saying she got into the field because it was a civil rights issue that people with mental illness were not treated well and she wanted to change that. I think she summed up what many who work in the field feel.

I've been doing this almost five years so I've heard some of it before, but there is always something new. We talk more and more about total wellness these days, which I think is positive. Why we think what happens above the neck is not important as opposed to below the neck, I'm not sure. But that is changing. Thankfully.

I will leave with piles of information and tons of new information to share in the coming months. I enjoy public speaking and part of the reason is that it's great to be able to get the information out that's important to all of us.

OK, so I'm not given to beauty tips generally, but I have two for you today - both hair related.

1. Nizoral shampoo
The other day I'm in a museum and suddenly I feel the hair being lifted from where it's hanging down my back and this man exclaiming, "Oh, Honey! You have the most beautiful hair. Yummy! ..." The conversation went on in this fashion with me saying "Thank you" periodically. I was flattered, if a bit taken aback.

Then I got the question I always get from hairdressers, "What do you do to your hair? It's so healthy!"

The answer is always the same. "Nothing special. Shampoo, conditioner, comb when wet, brush when dry. No processes, chemicals, colors, gels, mousses, sprays, perms, hair dryers, curling irons, etc."

I then told him my biggest problem was that it felt like residue built up on it sometimes and I had a hard time getting it really clean. My mom used to rinse it with vinegar water occasionally but I hate the smell. That's when he suggested Nizoral shampoo. (You knew I'd get to it eventually, right?)

Nizoral is a dandruff shampoo that used to be prescription but can now be bought off the shelf. He swore it would strip off any residue with no damage. He was so convincing that I stopped by Walgreens that night and bought some. You know what? He's right. I can now say with authority that it works. I will keep a bottle on the shelf and use it every once in awhile - at $9.99 a small bottle it's not going to be a daily shampoo for me.

So, there's my beauty tip of the day.

I have one additional tip for men who wear hairpieces. This was prompted by a guy I saw walking on the street the other day. If you wear a hairpiece, you need to get it checked periodically. Just as hair continues to grow, hair continues to fall out.

This incredibly well-dressed man had the gray hairpiece perched on top of his head. Then there was an inch wide space of bare skin between it and the tuft of hair growing at the base of his neck.

This is NOT a good look. NOT a good look.

Guys - bald is sexy. It's much sexier when it's not marred by a hair piece covering up part of it, but not all of it. Partially bald is far sexier than that. Just go for it. Trust me. No woman would disagree with me about the bare-skin-band look.

This afternoon I heard a gentleman here from the CDC talking about the ACE study. This is a very large, ongoing study, with fascinating outcomes.

ACE stands for Adverse Childhood Experiences - it's another way of saying emotional, physical or sexual abuse; neglect; substance abuse by parents; violence toward mother; divorce or separation of parents; incarceration of parent, etc. etc. etc. The list of adverse childhood experiences is so long it's hard to quantify.

What we know is that there is a relationship between the number of these a child has and their later health - physical and mental.

Adverse Childhood Experiences lead to social, emotional and cognitive impairment, which leads to high risk behaviors that gives us disease, disapbility and social problems and ultimately lead to an early death. The trick is to figure out how those experiences lead to the impairment which leads to the risky behavior - we know it does, we just don't know why. Yet. We will. Then the question will become what to do about it.

Interestingly enough, most of us have one or more ACEs - about 34 percent of women and 38% of men report none. The rest of us fall into the scale somewhere else. But, it's cumulative - if you have one you're at less risk than if you have three. By the time you have four there doesn't seem to be much distinction above that - i.e. having four is about the same risk as having seven.

When you look at the population as a whole, you find that behaviors such as smoking, risky sexual behavior, alcohol abuse, etc. do not fall randomly into the population. They cluster, and people who have one risk factor tend to have others. That's what prompted the research. The common factor is ACEs and how many of them we have.

This is important stuff - there is a correlation between these and everything from obesity to STDs to diabetes to heart disease.

This is not new research, but it is onoing. You can read more about it at http://www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/ace/index.htm. It's exciting, but also painful. This is just one more example of how our mental health affects our physical health. There are new ones every single day, it seems, but still in most places insurance companies are not required to cover your mental health the same way they are to cover your physical health.

Did you know that people who are depressed are four times more likely to have a heart attack? But, we'd rather treat the damage to the heart muscle instead of treating the depression. By the way, the success rate with treating heart disease is about 45%, while the success rate with treating mental illness is about 85%. So, we'd rather wait until the person has a greater chance of dying before we do anything. There's some good thinking. Newt Gingrich is right when he says the health care system in the US is so broken it just needs to be thrown out and we need to start over.

What can you do? Bug your representatives. There's a good chance the Wellstone bill will pass in this session of congress with democrats in control and insurance companies will have to cover mental health sufficiently. The votes have been there to pass it, but republicans would not bring it to a vote. With democrats in control, mental health advocates think it will be brought to a vote and pass.

Oh, and when the lobbyists tell you how expensive it's going to be to cover everyone, they're lying. In Vermont, the only state that has true parity (equal coverage for mental and physical health), it did not cause a dramatic increase in premiums - it just meant that people got care and insurance companies made a tiny bit less money. How often do you hear of them going out of business? Exactly.

Many health insurance plans cover mental health at only $10,000 for a lifetime. Guess how long that takes to use up? It would be like saying heart disease is only covered for the first $10,000. Families mortgage everything they own to get care for their children. People go bankrupt. People lose their homes. Surely we can put an end to such foolishness. Surely.

Art

I have spent part of the day today looking at art - impressionist art - Monet's art. Needless to say, I've had a great day.

Seeing particular pieces of art seems to, literally, feed my soul. I have a physical, as well as emotional, reaction to some artwork. It's as if my inner being is soaking up the experience.

Monet and Renoir almost always have that effect on me - not always, but almost. Other artists can impact me that way as well. Today a Chagall painting really struck a cord with me, even though he is not one of my favorite artists.




I'm sharing this close up I took today of a study Monet did for his final waterlilies paintings. I couldn't use flash, so it's not the best photo, but it does show the texture in the paint, which is one of the things I love in this work.

This is one of the reasons seeing a photo or print of a painting is not at all like seeing it in person - you miss all those details.

I'm watching a rerun of the first Harry Potter movie. Gosh, they look so young. I am so impressed with this series of books. I cannot wait for the next one.

Of course, I refuse to believe the ending of the last book. It simply cannot be true.

I don't really believe in making New Year's Resolutions. I never keep them so it's a useless exercise in futility. And it makes me feel bad that I didn't keep them so I stopped setting myself up that way.

But, a few years ago I started picking one or two things that I was going to make an effort to more or less of in the coming year. Nothing major - but something that would make a difference.

For example, a few years ago I decided I was going to drink more water. Considering that I drank practically none at the time, I had no where to go but up with that one. And, I have increased my water intake over that time. When I had to stop drinking caffeine about a year ago my water intake went up even more. One aside, you save a ton of money eating out when you're drinking water instead of pop. You don't think much about it because it's less than a couple of bucks. But, it really adds up. Yet another thing - people will start asking you what new cream you're using on your face because your skin looks better. Embarrassing but true - just water intake.

This year I've decided I'm going to "eat less fake food." This does not mean you will not see me eating junk food, it just means I'm going to eat less. An apple instead of a cookie kind of thing. An apple is real food. A cookie is a conglomeration of foods and food like substances, i.e. fake food. However, still expect to be served cookies and other sweets at my house. I'm just going to eat "less" - a nebulous, undefined amount that will equal "less" than I consume now - and will, yet, make me feel good about what I'm going for myself.

Much like the "resolution" about water, this will not be hard to achieve. But, such things make a difference over the course of a year. And, they tend to be lasting changes.

In the spirit of such things, this morning at breakfast I chose the apple instead of the waffle, which would have also required syrup - a fake food extravaganza. I already feel superior to the person I was a week ago. Geez, I'm easy.

Productive Day with Predictions

It has been a productive day, but I'm still not done with everything I need to accomplish. I have been working on things since 7:15 this morning and it's 11:33 p.m. so I think I'm about done for today. Stick a fork in me, I'm done.

Diana and Brad stopped by tonight to look at the tree. Brad is going to build me a stand for it that can hold it upright better than what I'm using. They do not manufacture Christmas Tree stands to hold the amount of lights and ornaments I put on. I need to have something built for me. Fortunately, I know someone who owns a metal fabrication place. And, yes, I do know I should be embarrassed by that. But it's so pretty and sparkly.

I did get everything unloaded from the car today - just in time to repack it all.

Meanwhile, Pat Robertson is taking a break from telling us to send our money to the Lord in care of him, to tell us millions of us are going to die in terrorist attacks sometime after September of this year. I guess that means we all need to live it up for the next few months - make them good.

I do believe God talks to people. I do not believe that Pat Robertson necessarily his designated messenger. I guess time will tell. If this blog ends abruptly after September, you can call Pat Robertson for the last laugh.

Back to Real Life

It's time to get back to real life. I always find this difficult and it makes me think I need to change my daily life. You shouldn't want to escape it - you should be loving it.

Of course, there are always parts of every day I love and today was no exception. I got to have lunch with Teresa and it was fun to see her and catch up on the holidays. I also popped in to say hi to Diana after lunch.

Otherwise, I've been working on things all day. I have a ton of things to get done. I haven't even gotten the car completely unpacked yet. But I've managed to trash my living room in just getting a few things out.

One cool part of my day was I took the birthday and Christmas money I got from Greg's mom and purchased an expansion card for my PDA. So, now I can listen to podcasts at length, which I will love. Whenever people give me money I try to buy something specific with it instead of letting it just be frittered away in the usual way money goes through people's hands.

I have thought about buying an Ipod but now I want to see what happens with the Zune. And, if I just use my PDA I only have to carry one device.

The trick now is to find some comfy headphones. I've bought two different ones and they are both too big for my ears. My ears, apparently, are smaller than the norm. I honestly had no idea - not like you see the inside of your ears very often - but there you go. Anyway, finding some comfy headphones would complete the setup now.

In sad news, Greg's mom had to let Miss Kitty go today. She has been ill and I suspected they were not going to get a good report from the vet today. I don't know all the details, but I'm sad about it.

I think I was the first to meet Miss Kitty when she wandered up onto Greg's mom's porch about 10 years ago. I said hello to her and petted her and pretty soon Greg's mom had a cat. In true cat fashion, I think she was never more adorable than when she was making that first impression. That's how cats are - they know when to turn on the charm - they are marketing geniuses.

I was already familiar with this because Greg and I had a 16 pound cat who had made himself at home in our lives a bit before then. Come to think of it, I was the first one who met him, too. That first meeting involved some tuna fish and, not surprisingly, he returned and pretty soon Greg and I had a cat.

It's very hard to lose a pet, but letting them go becomes the last act of love you can give them. I know it's going to be hard on her, as well as Greg and Steve who are both there. I will miss her, too.

Kansas

I arrived at my home tonight to find a dusting of snow still at the edge of the sidewalk. It was a beautiful day to drive - sunny and warm.

I stopped in Joplin and had a late lunch with Greg, Mia and Miss Joy. I didn't get home until about 9:30 tonight and I've been trying to get a couple of things done before bed but I am tired tonight.

I didn't get much sleep last night. I stayed up too late to get up as early as I did. Even I do need some sleep.

I'm happy to see that the Christmas tree is not leaning anymore than it was when I left. It needs some major engineering before next year. I need a welder.

Tomorrow I will unload the car and try to get things in a bit of order. It's amazing that things can get so messed up so easily. How do people keep their houses clean all the time?

I have spent the day seeing Little Rock and visiting the Clinton Library. I managed to see some other tourist sites and enjoy some local cuisine today. And I still had all the time I needed at the library.




At one time friends invited me to come here so we could see it together. But, I couldn't go the weekend they had in mind and they didn't want to wait. I was really disappointed, but things work out the way they're supposed to. There's no point in crying over spilled milk as they say.

Today was a good time for me to be here. There was a special exhibit of Christmas things from the Clinton years. Considering how much I love the holidays that was perfect.

They also had a book of condolences to be sent to Gerald Ford's family.

Many people were signing it. Obviously, regardless of a person's politics, everyone understands grief.

Being at the library today reminded me of just how much I miss having Bill Clinton in the White House. He is such a smart man. I love smart men. I really love them in high office. I miss him. I want him back in the white house again.

I also visited Central High - famous for the Little Rock Nine, I saw the Quapaw District, and went to Pugh's Mill which I really enjoyed. I also took in some local cuisine. It has been a busy day.

It is now, officially, 2007. May this be a year when we see peace again. Going through the library today I was reminded of what it's like to live in a country where prosperity is the greatest in decades and we're at peace. It seems like it was so long ago, so very long ago. I want it back.

I have been intending to post some photos from Christmas, but just haven't gotten around to it. I thought I'd best get it done before 2007 arrives. I have 61 minutes.

My packages this year were shiny red with silver snowflakes. I was tickled to find silver snowflake ornaments that were the perfect accompaniment. I used different kinds of silver ribbons to accent. It worked pretty well. Still not sure what I'm doing this coming year.

Even Mary Ann got into the spirit of matching paper and ornaments this year. Cathy says Kim and I are not getting to her, though. :)

The big news for me this Christmas was that I got to be with both my brothers. We took some pix together about 15 years ago and hadn't had any since. So, one night at Kim's when we were all there, we took some snapshots. That's me, Jim and Jackie.




I also got to see Johnny, who I hadn't seen in ages. That's him with his parents, Mattie and Jim.




I think we did something every night and while it's great fun, we were all starting to get worn out. I arrived on the 23rd. On the 24th we were at Cathy's. BC and his girlfriend, Kaitlyn, got to open a couple of presents and me too since I had a birthday present there.




Christmas day everyone was there and it was great fun. I think Dylan summed up the afternoon for us.




But, after a little rest, we were able to laugh a bit more the next day. Dylan's girlfriend, Whitney, and a bunch of others were playing a game. I'm blessed to come from a family where we laugh a lot.




We were all happy to see Mia again. Nic and Andy arrived the day after Christmas. Even though we'd just seen her in October she had grown - of course. She's now six months old.

She became the star of the show. None of us could leave her alone. The poor little thing likes to lay down and we barely give her a chance.

She is a really good baby - very laid back - and very easy going. Nic and Andy seem really happy and I am so impressed with their parenting. They're both attentive without over doing it - a perfect mix.

This is Mary Ann and Jackie's first great grandchild.




And it's Jackie and Kim's first grandchild.







Cathy, like the rest of us, can't get enough of her.















There are more photos, naturally, but I'm going to pack this in before 2007 arrives without me getting this online!

I am in Little Rock, having my own little retreat. I arrived tonight in the midst of a rain storm that has been unrelenting. Fortunately, it was not raining hard until shortly before I arrived. I didn't even go out to dinner but ordered pizza from a local spot - Le Star Pizzaria. It was very good and I've spent the evening writing.

Journaling with pen and paper has been difficult for me over the last bit of my life but I know it is an essential for me to stay on track. So, a couple of nights ago I made myself do it. And again tonight. Of course, now that I'm started it seems hard to stop. That's good.

Tomorrow I will go to the Clinton Library. I have never visited a presidential library, although I live a little over an hour from the Eisenhower one. But, I thought Clinton's should be the first one I go to since he's the only president I've voted for who got into office.

Tomorrow night I'm going to stay here again, and go home on Monday. It's fortunate Terry can house-sit for me. That makes it easier to be gone.

My plan is to use tomorrow night to do some more soul searching. It's New Year's Eve and I do not want to be on the road with the drinkers, so I will be here. It's also a good time for contemplation.

I have identified some ugly things in me and I want to exorcise them before a new year begins. Always best to leave the past year behind and start with a fresh slate.

On the world stage, the country is mourning the loss of Gerald Ford. Regardless of what you thought of him and his politics, he was a man you could respect.

And, although it has been little more than a footnote, Saddam Hussein was hanged yesterday. I am afraid that is not going to be good for the soldiers in Iraq. I can't figure out why, exactly, but it seems any dramatic event is bad and that is certainly a dramatic event. I'm not sure what people feel has been accomplished by this, but I hope it doesn't lead to more deaths.

I have spent a large part of the day trying to procure antibiotics. I have a bladder infection. It's not like I haven't had them before and not like I don't recognize them. However, getting others - who control the dispensing of pills - to believe that I know what it means when I have to pee every 90 seconds and it burns like hell - seems practically impossible.

The last time I went to the doctor while travelling it was incredibly expensive so I wanted to avoid that. I thought I'd just call my own doc since I knew what it was. But he was on call at urgent care and not in the office. Thankfully, another doctor understood my plight and OK'ed the prescription. So, from 8-10 a.m. that's what I did. It took another four hours to actually GET the pills. That was all Walgreens.

You know how they tell you that you can get your prescription from anywhere. Well, technically, you can. However, today it took 14 phone calls to various people and 6 hours for me to get 6 little pills to kill whatever is making me miserable. I'm thankful the Walgreens option was available, but don't believe the hype about how easy it is.

Blissfully, a stop at ye olde Wal-mart early in the day and a few dollars netted those wonderful little pills that make you less miserable. Thank goodness they no longer require a prescription. Of course, they do nothing to actually deal with the bacteria problem. But they sure make you feel better and I was mighty thankful for that.

In other, more pleasant, news... I stopped to see Mattie and Jim today and tonight we all went to Jackie and Kim's to see baby Mia again. They're going home in the morning.

Mary Ann is headed out tomorrow to see a UK ballgame. I'm so glad she's getting to go. Her friend, Janice, is spending the night tonight and they're leaving here at 3 a.m. I'm going to get up and take their picture with Ace Jackalope. He has a Wildcat Blue shirt to wear.

Jackie will go duck hunting and I will hit the road. However, I'm going to do some more sleeping between 3 a.m. and hitting the road.

It occurred to me while watching the local news today that one way to keep your children close by is to teach them habits that make it impossible for them to function in the world at large. I was thinking specifically of bigotry today - if you raise your child a bigot they won't be able to go forth and function - so you'll keep them very close by you and in whatever circumstance you function in as a bigot. It's very sad.

I would think any parent would want their child to be able to function in any circumstance. But, obviously, that is not the case.

The Amish are right in this regard. They don't believe in school past the 8th grade because that gives children "worldly" ideas. Same principle - different application.

I am so not a shopper in general, but Dec. 26 is one day when I am a die hard shopper. I left my brother's house at 4 a.m. - even before he got up to go duck hunting.

I was in Paducah when things started opening and made the rounds. Fortunately, Greg got the Hallmark ornaments I wanted because the stores here are messing with the system - only giving 40% off or not marking things down. I didn't have to play their game since Greg was getting stuff for me. I am getting really darned close to being fed up with the whole business of trying to get every Barbie ornament and playing all these silly games trying to out guess the retailers and the manufacturers. At some point one gets tired of it and I am just about there.

Mainly I got ornaments for small, theme trees. Next year I think I'm doing a lime green, pink and cream tree - provided I have enough stuff to go on it. I'll have to see how much I've amassed in the last few years. It somes takes 3-5 years for me to gather up enough different stuff to make a pretty theme tree. I made an impromptu trip into Micheal's today and got these wonderful pink ornies for that tree, so I was glad I did that.

I also picked up a lot of blue things. I have a blue, white and silver tree, but I want to change the look of it a bit. I've been doing the same thing for a long time - it needs a new look.

Lots of places had either nothing left or practically nothing.

My biggest bargain of the day was a $30 cookie sheet for $4.99 at Elder Berman. They were on sale and I had a $10 off coupon so it was a great deal. I really wanted two of them, but I only had one coupon. So, there you go.

I'm headed out tomorrow for the annual Bath and Body sale - something I adore. I'll lay in some supplies for the coming year. Everyone has their indulgences, and that's one of mine.

Tonight we gathered at Kim and Jackie's to see Andy, Nic and Mia. Mia has grown since we saw her in October. We had Christmas with them and it was fun. Naturally, Mia was a bit oblivious to the whole thing, but I'm sure next year she'll be much more into it.

This afternoon, after shopping, I stopped by Mattie and Jim's new house. It's really cute. I really like it - it's nice. Johnny was there and I got to visit with him and that was great. I haven't had time to just talk to him in probably 10-15 years. When we were growing up I was closest in age to him and Bob so we spent a lot of time together. It was really good to talk with him.

They came over to Kim's tonight, along with Chrissy, who I hadn't seen in ages. I just love, love, love, love, love having both my brothers and sisters in law in one area. Because when they're there, everyone else comes to them. So, I get to see everyone with just one visit. Frankly, it makes me want to live here, too. I don't want to be the missing piece of the puzzle.

It has been a delightful day of Christmas celebration. We are so incredibly blessed.

I scored with four presents this year, which is a good average. My brother Jackie loved his hand warmers for duck hunting, Cathy liked her jacket, Mary Ann liked her jar opener and Dylan liked his laptop backpack. I liked that, too, but I was glad I gave it to him since he enjoyed it.

I will leave my brother's a little after 4 in the morning to be there when the stores start to open. My big hunt will be for next year's wrapping paper. I have a "thing" about wrapping paper - even I don't fully comprehend it - I just know I love it.

I will try to post some photos in the next day or two. Tomorrow Andy and Nic are coming down and I'll get to see them and baby Mia. So, that will be fun. We'll do Christmas with them tomorrow night.

Well, I'd best get some sleep so I'm able to bargain shop tomorrow. I know it's silly, but I like it. So, there you go.

In a little less than an hour it will officially be Christmas. I always remind people you only get so many Christmases in a lifetime, so you should enjoy each one.

We have had a full day today. I finished my presents, tying on the ornaments and doing some last minute wrapping of a couple of things that would not travel well wrapped so had to be done on this end.

It is a joke in my family that Kim and I like to have coordinating paper and this year Mary Ann has done the same, complete with ornaments.

Jim and Mattie came out for a little bit today so I got to see them and it was good. They will be here tomorrow, too, and I'm really looking forward to being with everyone on Christmas day.

I went to Christmas eve services and it was great to be there. It's always a moving experience and it's good to see people I haven't seen in decades, that were kids when I was a kid. Lives can take such different paths - people younger than me are grandparents now and the mere thought of raising a child still overwhelms me. I guess that's part of what makes the world interesting - different things for different people.

We went to Cathy and Bob's tonight after services, and we will go up there in the morning to see what Santa brings BC. It will be a busy day filled with laughter, and it's hard to beat that.

I hope your day is perfect, whether it's with family, friends or your own good company. Enjoy it! Merry Christmas.

I'm home in Kentucky. Although I've lived elsewhere for more of my life, I spent the first 17 years in Ballard County, and I guess it will always be "home."

Tonight when I got off the interstate and headed toward Cairo, Illinois, the air became thick with fog. I realized that it's always then that I feel at home - when the air is filled with moisture from the rivers. It has nothing to do with state lines, which are in close proximity here, but it is all about the air.

The air is heavy and rich and visible. You breathe it in and your lungs feel full, as if they're being fed. We breathe in the rivers - literally - it nourishes our lungs, our bodies, our souls.

I'm not sure I'll ever feel at home in a place where the air is dry. Where instead of giving you moisture, it's trying to suck it out of your body. Where your skin and lips and hands are cracked and parched because the very air is taking your body's moisture from you.

I love the feeling of the moist air, surrounding me and everything else. It doesn't part when we approach, we're simply able to meld with it and become one. It envelopes us in the rivers from the safety of dry land.

I stopped at the confluence, as I always do. It was very quiet tonight with no boats docked nearby, which is very unusual. The stars were brilliant, and I could hear the water lapping at the edge of the bank. And, in the distance, the distinctive sound of tug boats, a given in this area.

When I drove across the bridge I did so with all the windows rolled down to get the full effect. I always do that, unless it's pouring rain. But, a little rain I don't mind and snow I relish. Tonight is clear and cool. And wet.

I have breathed in the rivers, tiny droplets at a time. I am nourished.

Happy Birthday to Me

It is officially my birthday - it's one hour and 31 minutes into it, actually. Birthdays have never been a really big deal to me - it's hard for them to be when you're born on Dec. 23. But there are times when I've wanted it to be a bigger deal and it's hard for the people around you to figure out when it matters if you're generally so casual about it. Sometimes being casual is just a defense mechanism, but I guess we all have some of those.

I have had a couple of really special birthdays, and a lot of so-so birthdays and a couple of really bad ones. My guess is that my average is about like everyone else's. Whether they're good or bad has nothing to do with the age I am, but with the circumstances surrounding the day.

And it's not always easy to tell which it will be. One of the ones I expected to be the worst was one of the best. This one is shaping up to be a nice one so far.

Whatever will be, will be. It's another day of life and for that I'm thankful.

At this time of year I am reminded of how blessed I am in so many ways. I'm healthy, I have a home I love, I have friends and family I adore, I have a job I enjoy that I'm good at, and daily life overflows with so many "perks" it's incredible. And I am happy - delightfully happy - I have been most of my life. That's not to say I haven't spent some time at the therapist's office, but overall I have always been happy on some level.

As I enter my 45th year on the planet I am thankful that I can say that it all ended tomorrow I would have lived a full life. I've been given love and benefited from grace. I've given in to my whims. I've been needed and wanted and I have returned the same. I have hungered with a passion so intense it was overwhelming and I've calmly moved into choppy waters knowing they're dangerous. I've loved and lost and loved again. I've cherished the moments and counted the hours. I've longed for love and cried over spilled milk. I've walked away and run toward. I've left things behind and carried some of yesterday with me into every tomorrow. I've begged - and given -forgiveness. I've grieved, I've grown, I've gathered myself and my thoughts. And I've always known the sun's gonna come up in the morning. Some things are givens. And some things are gimmes.

Tree

The Lope came by to take in the Christmas Tree. Read more about his visit at www.thelope.blogspot.com.

Shopping

Well, I generally do all my Christmas shopping early, but this year I just didn't find the goodies I expected along the way so I have been out today finishing up. I think I have only a couple of things left.

It's kind of fun to be out in the hustle and bustle. Of course, I didn't think that when this guy literally ran me off the road tonight, so I was driving on the shoulder. Then, of course, he slows down, like he can't figure out why I'm driving on the shoulder. I just assumed he was having a rough day and let it go.

It's fun picking out things for people. Hopefully I got some decent goodies. And if not, I got the second most highly sought after Christmas present - the gift receipt. (The first being cash, of course!)