Jackie Update

Thank you to everyone who has commented on the blogs and also emailed. I genuinely appreciate knowing people are thinking about my brother and our family at this time.

Here's the update...

Short version - it's good news so far.

Long version:
They have him on some medication to make his heart contract and they are weaning him off that and his heart is contracting on its own.
Neither the heart pump nor the temp pacemaker have had to kick in - his heart has been working on its won.
He responds to verbal commands - move leg, twitch toe, etc.
This afternoon he wrote a note to communicate. This really made me feel good - his brain was working well enough to form thoughts and he could write - that all seemed like great news to me.
He had a tube down his throat so couldn't talk. They've had him restrained because he kept trying to take it out whenever he would rouse from the sedation at all. They planned to take it out tomorrow. Tonight about 7:30 one of his hands was free by accident and he pulled the tube out. His blood oxygen level has been good so they haven't put it back down. Hopefully that will continue.
The nurse said she wasn't sure about it yesterday - if he would make it through the night - but that today he is on track for how people recovery from a stent surgery.
He has a little bit of pneumonia in one lung but that's not abnormal in such a circumstance and they're giving him some antibiotics for that.
He recognizes all the family and has talked to them, as much as he can. Obviously, his throat is very sore from the tube being down it.

I felt better about things this morning when Jim (my other brother) went to see him and told me that Jackie didn't look too bad. Jim has had a heart attack and knows what people look like in such a circumstance, so I found that comforting.

Cathy has done a great job calling me everytime they've heard even a little bit of news. I am so thankful for that. I was planning to go to KY this coming weekend for Mary Ann and Jackie's 50th Anniversary Party - obviously, we're going to postpone that for a little bit. Now I'm not sure when I'm going. There are lots of people there at the moment so I can probably be more useful later during the recovery phase. We'll see. I'm just so relieved things are going as well as they are.

Overall, things seem to be going pretty well at the moment. The 48 hour mark will pass early tomorrow afternoon. We are all eager to get past that milestone.

Thank you, again, for all your good thoughts and prayers for Jackie and my family. Please continue to remember us. I will update things here. Thank you.

Your Prayers and Good Energy Requested

I'm asking for your good thoughts and prayers for my brother, Jackie.

Jackie fell the other day when he was working on a construction job and broke his leg. He fell about 10 feet when a board he was standing on broke. It broke the ball off his hip and he had surgery this morning.

They did a full hip replacement and it went very smoothly.

But, while he was in recovery he had a heart attack. They took him into surgery and had to shock him 8-10 times to restart his heart. The next 24-48 hours are critical,  but his vitals are good. My big worry is about how long he was without oxygen. Obviously, we're all very concerned.

So, your good energy would be appreciated. Thanks.

Christmas Cards

I got started on my Christmas cards tonight. Well, I've already been thinking about the letter, but tonight I signed the cards, so they'll be ready to insert.

OK, close your gaping mouth and stop pretending like I'm off my rocker for doing this in October. I'm a little late for my tastes. Do you think of the Christmas season as starting the day after Thanksgiving? Well, lots of folks do. And... news flash... Thanksgiving is SEVEN WEEKS FROM TODAY.

Yes, Thanksgiving is seven weeks from today. That's seven Saturdays, four of which are already committed to other things in my little world. So, it's time for me to be preparing for Christmas.

I don't like rushing around during the holiday season. I like to just enjoy the holidays. I don't want to be trying to get the decorating, shopping, cards, entertaining, cooking, cleaning and calling all done in December. So, I start early. Last year I did a lot of shopping in December and it was kind of fun to be in the rush - and I may do some of that this year, too - but I don't want to be doing everything last minute.

And we have the Christmas homes tour this year, so I'll be doing that the first weekend, and my open house will be the second weekend. Then there will just be one more until right before Christmas. It zips by quickly.

I am on a mission to move Thanksgiving to the end of September, which is really harvest anyway. Then we'd have Thanksgiving in September, Halloween in October and we'd start the Christmas season on November 1. I think it has great potential. And lots of people I mention it to like the idea. Of course, not everyone. Some people hate the holiday season, regardless of how long it it, and want nothing to do with extending it.

In other news today, I had lunch with Dorothy and it was a great talk. I agreed to be on the committee to consider developing wind energy here. And we had some fascinating conversation. I'm still mulling it over, but I will share more here soon.

Well, I'd best start going through the blog to amass the dreaded Christmas letter. Not sure there's much point these days when people could just read the blog, but I guess I'm in a transition phase.

Accidents and Nature

My brother, Jackie, recently featured here building an industrial strength Christmas tree stand for me, is in the hospital. He was helping with a construction job today and walked out on a board that broke, and he fell about 10 feet. The ball of his hip broke completely off, but he's expected to make a full recovery, with no loss of mobility. They will do surgery on Friday and on Saturday he will be walking. Wow.

Obviously, we'll all concerned about him, but thankful it wasn't worse and glad they can do something for him and that he will make a full recovery. Of course, in the meantime, he needs some serious pain killers and has to lay on one side in the bed.

Everyone has done a great job of keeping me informed. Cathy, Jim and Mary Ann all called me at various times today for updates, which I appreciated.

Before I knew all of this today, I took a few minutes for a nice walk at Dillon Nature Center. It was a lovely day, although it was NOT fall-like, as I mentioned I was looking forward to after yesterday's weather forecast. Weather people lie constantly. I swear, they must devote training to that.

It was supposed to be autumnal today. It was not. I know, because people were wearing shorts, no sweaters were in evidence, and I took a long walk outdoors in sandals. Not autumn.

On the upside, there were tons of bees and butterflies on these flowers they tell me are a kind of aster. They also tell me they multiply easily - that they planted about three of them. I think I need some. I like hardy plants.

Autumn and Honor

There is a harmony
In autumn, and a lustre in its sky,
Which through the summer is not heard or seen,
As if it could not be, as if it had not been!
                    Percy Bysshe Shelley



I snapped this photo of a spider web with leaves stuck in it at Quivira. I spotted two different webs built like this - rather hammock-like - in the crook of trees.

I picked an autumn quote because the weather people tell us that tomorrow is going to be a truly fall-like day. It's about darned time. I opened the windows a few days ago and decided now that it's officially fall surely I didn't need the AC anymore. There have been a couple of times I've almost broken down and turned it back on. It's time for fall now. I'm ready. I'm not a summer person. I want some autumn. Especially now that it IS autumn.

Global warming is starting to mess with my four distinct seasons and that ticks me off even more than future generations not having a planet left. OK, I'm exaggerating. A little. But I want my four seasons. Dammit.

But, they say tomorrow will be autumnal, before heat the rest of the week. Of course, these are the same weather people who predicted "brief showers in the morning, seventy degrees by noon" on the day I spent in pouring rain for 11 hours at Hillsboro when the temperature didn't get above 48. So, the fact that I believe them indicates incredible optimism or stupidity on my part.

I had lunch with Leah today and it was really, really nice to connect with her. She just lost her dad recently and we had not had a chance to talk, other than briefly. Some of Mark's friends have a morbid joke that I understand about "the club" and the club is made up of people who've lost a parent. It's called a coping mechanism. And, it highlights an important consideration - those who haven't been through it can't relate. They can try. But they can't.

I'm not sure, but I don't think anyone Leah works directly with has lost a parent. I know I've heard at least two of them refer to their parents so I don't think she has anyone in her direct world that can really empathize. And people who haven't been through it expect you to bounce back and get on with things very quickly.

Hello? Wake up call. It doesn't work like that. It was about five years after my mother's death that I came "out of the fog." I was functioning, and doing so very well by many standards, but internally I was a mess. No one knew that - not even me, really. God knows no one asked. People never want to ask. You might tell them and they don't want to hear. And it's largely a waste of your breath, anyway, because people cannot listen - it's too horrific for them.

So, today, Leah and I talked about those things that people not in the club don't/can't talk about. It was good for me. I hope it was good for her.

I've known that it's an honor to attend the dying. I'm not very good at that, and I'm thankful some people are. I'm blessed that my brother, Jim, was with our mom when she died, and he did all the things that needed to be done in those moments.

Today I realized it's also an honor to be with those on the other side of that process, who are experiencing the loss. I'm a little better at this part. A little better.

Quote of the Day

"Go where love has not yet arrived." Father Gregory Boyle

Father Boyle runs Home Boy Industries, which was created to hire people who are trying to get out of the gang lifestyle. It's controversial. And it's working.

Quivira National Wildlife Refuge

Quivira National Wildlife Refuge is one of my favorite places around here. It was established in 1955 and now has more than 22,000 acres.

There are 21 canals and other structures that divert water to 34 different wetlands - ranging in size from 10 to 1500 acres each - making  a total of more than 6000 acres of marshland, some of which I examined  on a previous trip. 

It's a big bird area. I've heard estimates that as many as 90% of migratory birds go through here over the course of a year. The bird pictured here is a very common one you see there.

Apparently, you can even see Whooping Cranes at Quivira - about 75% of the sighting in Kansas have been at Quivira or at Cheyenne Bottoms - as they migrate. Whooping cranes are endangered and the penalties are severe for killing one - a fine of up to $100,000 and up to one year in jail. There have been only five killed in hunting accidents since 1950.

However, considering how rare they are, five is substantial. Experts think that at one time there may have been as many 10,000 whopping cranes but in the winter of 1941-42 they were at an all time low of only 15-16. In 2005 they were up to 215. I think this year I'm going to try to see one. I've never been bird watching in my life, so I guess I might as well start with an endangered species there are fewer than 300 of.

Some things are plentiful - like ducks and geese...



There's plenty of other wildlife too. The other day I saw two different kinds of turtles - red eared sliders and this guy, which I don't recognize. I also saw snakes two different times from the car, a squirrel, deer, grouse and wild turkeys.

I like the opportunity to be surrounded by a different environment than what's right around Hutchinson, where I live. Quivira is only about a 30-40 minute drive away so it's easy to get to. I go down there a few times a year just to look around.

With all the wetlands, it's very different than right here.



I also walked the "Migrant Mile" trail I'd walked before, which is where I snapped this photo.



On the wildlife scenic drive, I spotted this tree, which I thought so perfectly illustrated the power of the Kansas wind for those of you who haven't experienced it. I've grown used to the look of trees that are growing bent because they've been bombarded by the wind from a young age. If you look closely, you'll see the horizon is straight - the tree really is that bent and it wasn't that windy of a day.



I saw this mix of plants on the hike over the migrant mile trail. I don't know what the puffy red stuff is and I couldn't get close enough to touch it. After getting bitten by a snake a couple of years ago, I don't wander out into such areas.



If you missed the snake bite saga of March 2005, go to http://patsyterrell.livejournal.com/2005/03/04/ and scroll down to the fence posts, then to http://patsyterrell.livejournal.com/2005/03/05/ to read all about it. Suffice it to say, I still have a little scar on my right ankle where fang marks once were.

So, I tend to stay on the trails now - you know, like all the signs tell you to do in the first place. And I watch where I walk much more carefully. I was very lucky in 2005 to have nothing more than some swelling, fever and tenderness at the location, and I think one snakebite gimme is probably all anyone is entitled to in a lifetime and I've already had mine.



I've talked before about the sound of the prairie. I took some video at Quivira the other day. I haven't had a chance to look at it yet, but when I do I may post some at you tube so everyone can hear the sound of the prairie. We'll see if it worked.

SNL Ahmadinejad Video Short

Last night on SNL I saw one of the funniest things I've seen in awhile - a video short starring Andy Samberg and Adam Levine from Maroon 5. It was a take off on the song, I Ran so Far Away. In it, Samberg is singing to the faux Ahmadinejad about their gay love affair. It's well worth watching. It's on the NBC site at the link below. I've watched it so many times I'd had to watch the commercial more than once. It's witty.

http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/#mea=161985

Some of the lyrics:
You can deny the holocaust all you want
but you can't deny there's something between us
You say there are no gays in Iran
but you're in New York now baby.

Words on a page don't do it justice - go watch the video.

Apparently I'm not the only one who has deemed Ahmadinejad "Nutburger of the Week."

Nutburgers in the News - Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

Well, you knew it couldn't last - me being quiet about what's going on in the news. I try. I swear, I really try. But, the world keeps presenting me with nutburgers I can't resist talking about.

Nutburger of the Week is... drumroll, please...  Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

There are no gays in Iran? Well, of course not. The ones who could afford to have already left, and you've killed the rest or shamed them into being hidden. It's amazing how ignorant a person can be and still be running a whole country. And, no, I'm not going to make a George Bush joke here - there's "I didn't really excel at my ivy league school and I'm not too smart" and there's "I'm a bigot who's too stupid to even know I'm a bigot." Very different kinds of ignorant.

The debate has raged about Columbia University giving him a platform. Maybe I'm just a complete idiot myself, but I'm glad he spoke there. I think far more people heard what he has to say than they would have if he had only spoken at the UN. Would he have said there are no gays in Iran at the UN? No. Well, I don't think so, anyway. But, of course, I can't imagine anyone would say something so ignorant anywhere. But, I digress. OK... back to the topic at hand. I think the fact that he spoke at Columbia brought his message to a larger audience so more people can see what a fool he is.

I've heard the argument that apparently Columbia would have hosted Hitler. Well, you know what, if they had he probably wouldn't have gone unchecked for so long. And speaking of Hitler, how many people got upset when Ahma-nutburger-jad denied the holocaust a couple of years ago? Admittedly, there was "international outrage," but it was talked about less than this has been and I think the reason is that Columbia offered a way for more people to hear what he has to say. It's easier to just blow nutburgers off  in "official" contexts than when they're doing it just because it's who they are.

Oh yeah, and lets not forget that part of our identity as a country is free speech. So, you'd think the president of another country would be extended the opportunity to speak. If he happens to be a nutburger and doesn't bother to hide that fact - as they never do because they see themselves as completely reasonable - it clues the rest of the world in. And someone we really need to be hearing are nutburgers in positions of power - like presidents of countries with nuclear power who think other countries should be "relocated," for example.

OK, I know... he speaks lots of places. Well, I don't know about you, but I've seen far more of him and his general nutburger-y-ness from the Columbia speech than any other. I think it's good for people to see that and I don't think they're likely to catch the latest C-Span installment from the UN. OK, I don't even know if C-Span does the UN or only congress, but it sounds good as a comparison.

So, there you go... Nutburger of the week is Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Bill O'Reilly and his fumbling buffonery about Sylvia's restaurant and its patrons is spared being the Nutburger of the Week. At least this week.

(And yes, Nutburger is my word. I don't know where it came from. It just popped into my brain and out my mouth and I've been using it ever since to describe people who are so far removed from anything resembling reality that they can't even get a grasp on it.)

________________
Check www.patsyterrell.com for the blog, art, and more.

Saturday is for Scones

I went downtown for the Chili Cookoff today. There was a great turnout - even at 1 p.m. when I arrived to help with clean up for the HRAH (Hutchinson Reno County Arts and Humanities) booth. There were people everywhere.



I guess multiple times the HRAH booth had a very long line of people waiting for their chili samples. People pay $2 and can get samples from each of the booths. I think there were about 25 this year. Then they get to vote on what the best chili is.

Mark, the director of HRAH, pinpointed the only real problem. It seems as if people are more interested in just filling up on chili for $2 than actually enjoying a community event. He mentioned this just about three minutes after I had said to another board member that I hadn't seen anyone I knew. But, I guess people were enjoying it in ways we couldn't see.

But, this was echoed when I pulled up to get the three pumpkins Mark had told me to take home. We had left them sitting there while I pulled my car around. Another board member had come along and his kids wanted one. I told them to take them all. While we were discussing it, some older gentleman none of us knew walked up and took one. Who takes something like that - obviously a decoration that had been used by one of the participants - just because it's not nailed down? This guy I guess. He didn't ask anyone, including the two of us who were wearing logo hats and discussing them. He just took it. We didn't do anything except watch. Frankly, I was a little too surprised to say much. It's not that I need the pumpkin - I'm blessed that I can afford to buy as many pumpkins as I want to go on my porch - but it was just the idea someone would help themselves to something that obviously didn't belong to them, that they had no right to. I would rather the other board member's kids had all three of the pumpkins. I guess I live in a sheltered world, what can I say?

I did see something funny, which I wish I had gotten a photo of - a black lab with his own arm band, meaning he got to sample the chili too. He trotted right over to me to be petted so it's my own fault I didn't get his photo. But, suffice it to say, it was cute  that his three guys got him his own armband.

While working on a number of different computer projects this afternoon I took a break to read some blogs. When I checked Jan Lemen's I saw the most scrumptious photo of a biscuit with jelly on it. This made me long for a scone. I don't know why, but it did.

So, I dug in my computer recipe files and found the scone recipe shared by tea enthusiast Eve Hill on a tea list some years ago. Teresa has a good scone recipe, too, but I didn't have it in the computer. Most of them are pretty similar - but I like a scone that is flaky and crumbly. I don't care so much about the shape - round or triangular - but the texture is important to me. I like them to be rather biscuit-like only a little sweeter.

Anyway, I whipped up some scones, and ate one with real butter and blackberry jelly. Yum. I, of course, had it with some blackberry and sage tea. Susan gave me this tea at Christmas last year and I have loved it. I've been parceling it out and this was the perfect time for some.

I also finished up the invitations for Mary Ann and Jackie's 50th Anniversary Party in a few weeks. Cathy and Kim have been kind enough to let me be involved in the planning. My other big task is the centerpieces. I've got some ideas I need to experiment with. I want to make sure everything looks nice.

Well, time for bed for me. I'm hoping that tomorrow I wake with an uncontrollable urge to tidy up my house.

Out of Sorts

I have been feeling "out of sorts" for the last few months. I'm not depressed. I'm not upset. I'm not bored. I'm not unhappy. But I'm not normal. I'm a little "flat."

Part of it is the need for newness in my life, but that's not all of it. It is deeper than that and I need to figure it out and address it.

I have been trying to put my finger on it and just can't quite get a handle on what the problem is. After some soul searching time late today I have reached some conclusions.

1. My "overstretched arch" has prevented me from getting the normal amount of movement in each day. I'm not saying I exercise regularly, but, in the course of the average day when I wear my little pedometer I walk about 2000-3000 steps. For the past four months it has been so painful that I have walked no more than necessary, which is far less than that. Maybe it's true what they say about needing some exercise/movement to keep various chemicals that affect our moods flowing in the body.

Late today I walked a little nature trail that's about a mile long and although my foot is slightly sore tonight, it's not bad. And I walked a couple of little trails near Mammoth Cave last week, too. So, hopefully it will continue to improve and I can move more.



2.  I have spent too much time and energy this year on things that drain me and too little on things that restore me. It seems there is a constant increase in things that require my attention that I don't wish to do. But, they must be done. So, what is one to do? We all have responsibilities to fulfill. All I can do is try to limit future obligations.

3. I have been journalling less than usual. I've had other kinds of writing to do, including blogging, and have spent less time with pen and paper and I must change that. Journalling is something that we know makes people happier so I must get back in the habit of doing it nearly daily. I go in cycles, but have been keeping a journal since I was in grade school, so this is obviously just a blip. But, regardless, I need to be aware of this.

4. I need opportunities to be with people in meaningful ways that result in learning, creativity, or emotional bonding. For example, leadership last fall provided a great chance to get to know 29 people from different areas. The artist's retreat last year was a great example of a bonding experience. A group of us used to gather and go to see the energy healer, or attend related conferences and such. We haven't done that in a long time and no one in my circle seems interested in doing it anymore. I long for the connection one can only get from a concentrated time frame with others. I have tried to create opportunities for that a couple of times with friends and met with little or no interest.

So, I think I must create something and issue an open invitation, instead of limiting it to people I already know. Obviously, I'll be posting info here when I consider what that will be. It would be fun to get a group of women together from some meaningful interaction.

Managing Life and Changing Times

I've been doing some personal excavating tonight. My desk at home is always covered with piles of stuff. Piles. The fact that my hands haven't been crushed by those piles careening onto the keyboard qualifies as a small miracle.

So, I've been going through piles - filing, tossing, shredding, and wondering. It's that last one that is the reason piles accumulate, I think. I'm not sure what to do with something so I just put it aside. Then, eventually, that grows into an infamous pile, which I continue to add to. When I finally do get around to going through things, many of the pieces of paper I couldn't bear to part with initially because I might want to do something with them are no longer important - a date has passed or for some other reason they're immaterial now.

But, this doesn't stop me from making new piles. I know all those rules about how you should only handle a piece of paper once, have a certain time each day to return phone calls, etc. etc. etc. Who does that? Who lives a life that works like that? Not me and not anyone I know.

Stuff comes into my world at a far greater rate than I could ever process on a daily basis. So, I wait until the things that aren't urgent are outdated and then it takes no brain power to process them. I've recognized this problem of too much stuff coming into my life for some time, but cannot figure out how to deal with it. I had my mail held while I was in Kentucky and after just five days, the stack was about eight inches tall when I picked it up. And that's just the mail - my personal mail - it doesn't take into account email or phone calls or anything work related, where stuff also arrives at a pace I can't maintain. Email floods in from the national office, with complex details and issues. Meanwhile I'm working to keep the daily stuff going.

So much of what arrives at my inboxes, my mailboxes and my doors is so overwhelming - in quantity and topic - that I end up ignoring it unless it's urgent. I don't like feeling like I'm never caught up - never on top of things. I don't know how to manage it all.

I used to say I wanted the world to stop for a few days so I could catch up. Then it was a month I wanted it to stop. Then it was about six months. Now I think I probably need about 10 months of nothing coming into my world to just deal with the stuff already in it.

Of course, people could rightly point out that I could give up the time I spend writing, painting, blogging, doing Christmas, going to events, working on my house, seeing friends, etc. But those things restore me. The other things take from me. I cannot give up the things that nourish my soul or I will have nothing left to give to the other parts of my life. So many of the things I must do seem designed to try and suck the very life out of me.

I always seem to need more hours in the day to do everything I need and want to do. It's certainly not a matter of me not working. I don't think anyone who knows me would ever use the word "lazy" to describe me. I rarely stop, even for a few minutes, from the time I get up until I go to bed. I don't lay down on the couch when I get home. I come in the door and keep going. I haven't actually watched television without doing something else in at least 15 years, except when ill enough to be bedridden. If I'm at the computer I'm working on something - work or personal. I never waste time waiting for appointments - I always have something with me to work on. I even spend very few hours resting every day - rarely more than six - so I'm not sleeping my life away either.

One of the things I found tonight while excavating was my ticket to a performance series here. I haven't ever attended one of their events, but I buy the ticket every year to support it. There are a couple of things this year I might actually go to. Regardless, they send with the ticket a set of stickers for you to put on your calendar, to remind you of the dates. Honestly, I looked at them for a few seconds before I figured out what I was supposed to do with them. I haven't kept a paper calendar for the last 2-3 years. So, the stickers went in the trash - what would I do with them.

It's much like when I have to pay a bill by actually writing a check and putting it in the mail. It's so archaic. Frankly, I'm ticked off that I have to spend time doing either thing. So, I simply don't do business with anyone who requires that of me anymore. If automatic payment isn't available I'll use someone else's service. I want it to just happen seamlessly every month without me having to be involved. I still have to do it for the MHA and it seems so bizarre to me. Fortunately, we don't have a lot of monthly bills.

When I took this job about 5 years ago I was shocked to see two typewriters in the office. I actually turned to one of my board members who was with me and said, honestly, "Whatever will I do with a typewriter?" Type, of course, is the answer. But I never, ever opened either of them. Finally, a few months ago I found another non profit that wanted them. What do you do with a typewriter these days other than use it to create cool, actually typed paper for art projects? I recently put an actual typed envelope into one of my bits and pieces books. I haven't gotten one in years - many years - so I kept it. It's definitely a last gasp of a bygone era. Like so many things from bygone eras, it's charming in it's own way, but I don't want to go back.

The world changes very quickly these days. It's a struggle to keep up. Now, if you'll excuse me I need to go check out my new SpiralFrog membership. Always something new...

Moon Rise

Moon rise tonight was beautiful. I was on my way to Goodwill and pulled over in the Aldi's parking lot to take a photo.

One thing I've learned from Greg is that when you see something cool like that, you've got a very limited time frame in which to capture it. Unless you're very close to an interesting foreground, you better just shoot it with whatever is nearby because it's fleeting. In this case, Lowes was what I had for a foreground. However, I used the trees to block that.

As you can tell, clouds were moving across the moon, which is what gives it that striped look. I was quite infatuated with it.

Walking Through My Dreams

Driving through parts of Kentucky I hadn't been in in a long time, or ever, has given me vivid dreams of people I had practically forgotten who walked through my life at one time or another and now are walking through my dreams. It's almost like guest appearances.

I drove by a sign pointing to Cerulean, Kentucky. I've never been there, but I remember a boy named Bob I met at Murray State University my one year there. Bob was a sweet boy. We lost touch very quickly after I left Murray, but a few years later my Lexington phone rang and it was Bob. He was visiting some friends in the area and had seen me on the news because I was working as a TV reporter then.

In that way that early twenty somethings will do, and I suppose others as well, Bob called me to impress his friends that he knew someone on TV. I'm not sure how much it's worth to know someone who's working the weekend news as a lowly reporter in the 76th market in the country, but it was worth a long distance call to him at the time.

I had no ill will toward Bob, and I was genuinely happy to hear from him. We wrote a couple of letters after that and promptly drifted apart again because there wasn't anything to bond us together.

It was one of my first experiences with someone making an effort to "be in my world" in some small way because of what I was doing for a living. I'm sorry to say it has happened many, many, many times since. I can't imagine what it's like to be a real celebrity, because even on this teeny-tiny, itty-bitty, little scale you're always wondering if people are really interested in you or just your job and what you can do for them with it. Now that I don't work in the media anymore it's no longer an issue. And, there are people who quickly drifted out of my life when I didn't do that for a living anymore.

However, there are others who entered by life because I suddenly had an "important" title. There are a couple of people in town who, literally, did not speak to me prior to me taking this job. But, now that I have some title they deem worthy of note they also consider me worth noting. Can you guess how much respect I have for that? I'll bet you can.

Bob was the first time I had that experience, although I didn't recognize it for what it was then. We have to learn everything in life. And, he got the payoff, his friends were very impressed he knew someone on the news. Twenty year olds are easy to impress, what can I say? But, I talked with them, they were happy, and Bob was too. I wasn't happy, but I wasn't unhappy. I guess I was indifferent that would move to indignant as the days progressed.

Seeing the sign for Cerulean, Kentucky made me think of Bob and that night he walked through my dreams - making a cameo for the first time in many, many years.

I woke up remembering something more pleasant about Bob - bumping into him on a very rainy Thursday afternoon on the Murray State campus - and him driving me back to my dorm a few blocks away. I know it was a Thursday because I had just finished my voice lesson and it was on Thursdays. I was relieved it was over and looked out to see Bob, who was not a music major, walking up the steps with an umbrella. It didn't strike me as odd at the time that he would be a in building a business major would have no reason to ever set foot in. Obviously, it was not happenstance that he was there to rescue me from a rainy walk back to my dorm.

He drove the mile or so and pulled up in front of my dorm. We talked for a few minutes in the dry warmth of his car before he leaned over and kissed me for the first and last time. That one kiss sealed for both of us that we would never have that kind of relationship. It had never crossed my mind until that moment, and it was fleeting, but I guess it had crossed his.

It was nice to have him make a guest appearance in my dreams after seeing the sign for Cerulean. At the 20 plus year schedule my subconscious seems to be on, it will be a long time before I see him again.

Wigwam Motel, Mammoth Cave and Big Moose's BBQ

When Greg, Mark and I stayed in the Wigwam in Holbrook, Arizona on a trip across Route 66 two summers ago, the following morning I proclaimed, "When you CAN sleep in a Wigwam, you SHOULD sleep in a Wigwam." Well, I stand by that, and the phrase has even become famous as The Lope has used it in a book now. OK, famous might be a stretch, but it's in a book.

Wigwams were once a small chain, but there are now only three left - Holbrook, Arizona; Rialto, California and Cave City, Kentucky. We stayed in the Arizona and California ones on that trip, but I had not been to the one in my home state of Kentucky until this past weekend. Finally, my Wigwam Triology is complete.

In a burst of energy or stupidity, depending on your point of view, a group of us came from Kansas, Missouri and Ohio to meet in Kentucky for a Wigwam experience.


From Left to Right, that's Greg, Barb, Natalie and Ace, Mia, Will and Richard, me, and Mark.



Wigwams are way cool. I had number 4 this time. There are 15 of them in Cave City - some with one bed and some with two. Greg and Mia had number 3, Mark had number 5 and Barb and Richard and their family had number 6. Each is basically the same with its own little bathroom and cool furniture. You even have your own little parking spot beside your Wigwam.



And the view from inside the Wigwam has this cool profile. You can even see the sign in the distance from my front door.



There's a bigger Wigwam that is the office and gift shop, and two smaller ones that are restrooms beside it.



They're built in a big circle, with a drive that goes behind them.



Friday night, Barb and Richard built a fire in the little fire pit in the middle. We roasted hotdogs and marshmallows. It was very cool.



Cave City and Holbrook both have some original furniture still left. Very, very, very cool.









Wigwams also have the cutest little bathrooms with the oddest little angles. The mirror angles down at you over the sink and the shower has more corners than you can imagine. I love the tile in these.




Cave City tells us they may have to give up the tile because it's getting worn. They have a lady in Bowling Green that re-canes their furniture for them. It's way cool. Did I mention it's cool?

And, Cave City isn't called Cave City for no reason - Mammoth Cave is nearby, which we also visited.

At various times we all took the Frozen Niagra tour. It's only a little over an hour long and has about 80% of the pretty formations in the cave.

Mammoth is the longest cave in the world. I've been on a longer tour before, but was content to take this nice, easy, pretty tour this time.

Previously I did a tour that involved a lot of hiking. With my "overstretched arch" in my right foot, lots of hiking was not on the agenda for me this time. The foot continues to improve, but a multi hour hike would not have done it much good.

I have to say that the rangers at Mammoth Cave are the nicest ones I've ever run across - not that park rangers aren't always pleasant, but the ones at Mammoth Cave seem to be particularly fond of their jobs and genuinely happy to be interacting with the public.

This tour had an optional part of it - 49 steps down to see another part of the formation. As the guide put it - there are 49 optional steps down and 49 mandatory ones back up.

If you took the steps down, you saw this "drapery" overhead.



And this large stalagmite.




This tour had a lot of pretty formations to see...



You could peer down into Crystal Lake...



Our guide, Jeff, told us there was about 10 feet of water in it now. It has been very dry there lately.

In fact, the park has two ferries, which were closed until late August. I took one of the ferries the following day when I did some sight seeing around the park and took in some walking trails and some scenery. It's a beautiful area.



I did hike down to the famous sand cave where Floyd Collins met his demise in the mid 1920s. Floyd was looking for a new cave - a new tourist attraction - and got caught in a collapse. Newspaper accounts of him being trapped brought about 10,000 people there to witness the rescue operation. Unfortunately, Floyd was found dead about two weeks after the initial collapse.



I also visited some historic churches and soaked up the atmosphere.

To top off the trip, we discovered a fabulous restaurant in nearby Glasgow, Kentucky - Big Moose's BBQ. Mark and I went there one night before everyone else arrived. When we mentioned we hadn't been there before they gave us a sampler platter of all their side dishes, all of which are delicious by the way. That's not because we were special, although we do like to think so at times - they give a sampler platter to anyone who's new so they can pick their favorites. How's that for some Southern Hospitality? The young lady at the front counter was as pleasant as could possibly be on top of that.

We loved it so much we encouraged everyone else to go there so they did the next night. I cannot speak highly enough of the sweet potato crunch. Lets just say in the south we like our brown sugar and pecans and we know that to do with them and we're not afraid to use them. When Greg tasted it he said, "I want this in my mouth all the time." That sentiment was shared by everyone.

I also heartily recommend the Indian Stew and the hashbrown casserole.We all loved it there. So, should you find yourself in the area, don't miss Big Moose's BBQ. It's well worth the short drive from Cave City to Glasgow. When you leave be sure and ring the bell - that lets them know you liked the food.

________________
Check www.patsyterrell.com for the blog, art, and more.

Autumn Is Here

Today is the first official day of Autumn. I've noticed color creeping into the landscape. In some places, only one leaf has turned so far. In others, like this, there are a couple of trees that are much further along than their neighbors. I took this in the river bottoms near Barlow, Kentucky, a few days ago.

I just read recently that what makes leaves really pretty in the fall is not what I've always heard, which is a wet year. Apparently, rainfall has nothing to do with it other than if there has been enough rain to keep the trees alive. What really makes them pretty is if the temperatures have been hot enough and there has been lots of sunshine so the leaves have made lots of food over the summer. That is what gives them lots of color.

I was struck when driving through the game refuge near where I grew up a few days ago that we never really appreciate what is nearby. I have known that intellectually, but thought I was really good at avoiding the trap. However, I found myself exclaiming over how pretty things were. They're the same things I spent more than 20 autumns with, and barely noticed. What is that part of human nature that discounts whatever is "easy" in our lives? What we have near us? Convenient?

Maybe I need to renew my vow to see the world with new eyes every day. That gives ample opportunity for finding new and different when you're seeing things fresh. Why is that a struggle for us? Or is it only a struggle for me?

Christmas Preparation

What is it? You may be asking yourself that and the answer is...

It's a Jackie Terrell original...

Christmas Tree Stand.

I have this problem with Christmas trees and stands and remaining vertical. The trees don't fall over - not since I started bolting the stands into a 4 by 4 piece of plywood - but the stands bend. The poles bend. There's a lot of bending. This is NOT a desireable function of a Christmas tree and its accoutrements.

This afternoon my brother, Jackie, built me an official, industrial strength, Christmas tree stand. This will NOT bend. I'm certain of it. If it does, even I need to rethink how I do Christmas trees.

It was quite the process, but he whipped it together with things he had lying around in his shop.

There was cutting...



drilling...



measuring...



and welding.



And then I had a cool, wonderful, extra heavy duty, Christmas Tree Stand. He even spray painted it. He's a full service, brother, I tell you.

I'm so excited I'm nearly beside myself. Yes, I know, this may not seem like something that's that big of a deal. But, I have an entire circuit in my house that's devoted to one outlet specifically for the Christmas tree.

I realize not everyone requires the services of an electrician and now a welder for their Christmas tree, but it's so pretty and sparkly.

2005 Tree



2006 Tree

I've been reading through some old blog posts lately, with the idea of making a compilation of favorite posts. Of course, I've been thinking about that for over a year and it hasn't happened. But, hope springs eternal, it could. It might. It will.

In looking back through old live journal posts, I found this one from three years ago - almost exactly three years ago - that I posted on 9/17/2004. I was working on a speech, which I still give, about how to increase your happiness level. Oddly enough, it's not something most people are too interested in. I think it's the "forgiveness" part that trips them up. But... just in case it's something you might be interested in... here is the outline.

This is all based on science - not just Patsy making stuff up.

Here's the post:

Happiness - It's Yours for the Learning
We are all born with a "set point" of happiness, but we now know that it is also a learned behavior and just because someone isn't born that way, they can be that way if they chose to be. Genetics determine about 50%.

Important in learning to be happy:
1. Meditation
2. Journaling (esp. gratitude)
3. Fake it till you make it. Faking happiness causes the same chemical reactions as BEING happy and eventually will create the happiness. Actions matter - act happy.
4. Surrounding yourself with friends and family is a huge factor in increasing happiness.
5. Having your own sense of self and no interest in keeping up with the Joneses is helpful.
6. Doing activities that put you in the "flow" where you lose sense of time and enjoy it, increases overall happiness. The more of those you have, the better off you are. Doing what you're best at.
7. Must have a capacity to love and be loved.
8. Altruism
9. Spirituality
10. Creativity

Damaging to happiness:
1. not forgiving - huge - the biggest stumbling block - the single biggest determining factor in someone's happiness level
2. materialism

Surprises:
1. Major health problems, such as loss of mobility, have no long term effect on people's general happiness. After about 90-180 days they return to their pre-incident level of daily happiness.
2. People are very bad at predicting what will make them happy. Better to trust human resilience than human prediction.
3. More choices you have the more likely you are to be unhappy. People feel with so many choices, there's no excuse for failure. Choices also make people question every decision.
4. Happiness comes mostly in daily little bits. People get thrills out of finding a quarter or getting an unexpected gift. The emotion actually makes them more generous, friendlier, flexible, creative and better at solving problems. Small bursts of this feeling caused radiologists to make more accurate diagnoses in one study.

Quote of the Day

I am always doing what I can't do yet, in order to do it.
~Van Gogh


I was reading some old journal entries today from before I came over to blogger and ran across this one. It struck me anew so thought I'd post it again.

This is me, in a nutshell. I like to do different things - knit, paint, ride 844, go to Quebec, whatever. But, once I know how to do them or have experienced them, I'm done, unless it was an incredible, amazing, unbelieveable experience that I want to repeat. I love to paint, and no doubt always will. I like to knit on occasion, but it's not any big deal. I have no great urge to do it perfectly - just like to do it.

The perfection thing is the key. I'm content to just "do" whatever it is. I don't need to do it "right" or "perfectly," I just want to "do." And then I want to do the next thing.

It's yet another conundrum in my life. Because there are other areas of my life where I'm so "stable." When I'm involved in a serious relationship I have eyes for no one else. Greg told me once that when I'm involved I just give off NO vibes. And I'm very content.

With work I tend to stay in a job for a long time. I may change what exactly I do in that job, but I tend to stay somewhere for extended times.

But, with less serious things, I'm content to just try it and see how it goes. Of course, that's usually how I get into those relationships and jobs now that I think about it. I guess maybe they just work for me - like painting or travel - and I want to keep at it. Obviously food for more thought.

Fair Time Over for 2007

Another milestone has passed - the Kansas State Fair for 2007 has ended. Mark was down this weekend, but not feeling up to taking in the fair, which is very unusual.

He took off about 10 this morning. He had a 2:30 doctor's appointment in KC. It's a pity he couldn't stay longer, but there are always so many places to be. I often have the feeling that I should be at least 2-3 places, and want to be at most of them. Unfortunately, I can only be at one at a time, and that seems to not be enough most of the time. I can't figure out why this is, but it seems to be that way.

Tonight at dinner I was talking to Terry and Greg and we were talking about other art shows. I realized I have something all but two weekends the rest of the year. How does my life get so overscheduled when I'm consciously trying to make it not that way? But there are always things to do - from seeing the Governor at the fair to any number of other things.

I think I mentioned the Governor was here on Thursday. She always has a day when she's at the Kansas State Fair. She kicks it off with a chamber breakfast that morning and then tours around a bit on the grounds.

The Kansas State Fairgrounds have had some major improvements in the last few years, which is great. It was in need of some updating.

Of course, there are always things that get changed that I don't like and one of those for the faigrounds was a consolidated food court area, instead of the individual placees dotted over the complex.

But, they've kept the agrarian nature of the fair, which I love. I want to always be able to see jellies and giant pumpkins and such.

This year's giant pumpkin winner was 976 plus pounds, more than 300 pounds over the record at the Kansas State Fair. There were four entries, and three of them were from families named "Stanley" in Newton. I'm guessing they're related, but I don't know.



And if you were wondering what champion peppers look like, here are Jim Hoover's of Hutchinson. I need to call Jim and ask him his secret. My peppers never get more than the foot tall they are when I put them in every year. Eventually I pull them up and throw them away. Jim, on the other hand, has produced some lovely specimens.



All kinds of produce is competing...





In the last couple of years, there has been a scarecrow competition. Cindy Ward of Hutchinson won this year.