Blue Eyes

I was reading tonight about a study done in Norway that showed blue eyed men have a preference for blue eyed women. Why? Because if the blue eyed woman produces a child that isn't blue eyed then the blue eyed man knows he ain't the baby daddy.

Remember that monk with his peas? Yup. It's all about Mendel. Blue eyes are recessive. Since it requires two recessive genes to produce blue eyes, if both parents are blue eyed then baby has be to blue eyed as well - provided baby is the product of that mama and that daddy. If baby shows up with brown eyes you know mama been messin' around.

This only works with blue eyes - not parents of other colored eyes. Brown eyed parents can produce blue eyed children, because they can be carrying the recessive blue eyed gene, but blue eyed parents are only going to produce blue eyed babies.

It's been speculated that this is why babies - particularly caucasian - are generally born with blue eyes and their true color doesn't show until about age three. It may well be an adaptive trait to keep both parents around during those early years when baby needs more support to survive.

We're interesting, huh?

This made me think about the men I've known, and other than two exceptions, I think everyone I've dated has been blue eyed. I haven't produced any children, and I'm happy to say that if I had there would not have been a need for Maury to tell me who the father was. But it's interesting that that has worked out that way in my life nonetheless.

It also caused me to think about one former boyfriend mentioning how he specifically liked women with blue eyes. Maybe he just instinctively knew this. Or maybe he read the study before I did.

This also made me think about my parents. My mom had blue eyes... but I can't remember what color my dad's eyes were. Brown, I think. It's sad I can't remember, but I can't. It's only blue eyed men who show a strong preference on eye color in a mate - blue, of course.

Not Wanting to Let Go

I am really not wanting to let go of my Christmas tree. I've been trying to convince myself to take it down but a part of me keeps saying... but... what if...

Well, that's foolish... you can always make a case for what if. But I don't want to leave it up indefinitely either. But it's just so darned pretty this year... But it's big and bulky...

Besides, I really want to feel some control in my life and controlling my environment seems one way to trick myself into feeling like I have some. I realize it's all just a psychological trick. But, hey, it works for me sometimes.

The only way I know to get control - or some ilusion of is - is through action. I've got so many post it notes tacked up around my computer that the shear weight of them is causing them to let go and fall from the stack. Each one has a note about something I need to do. I like the satisfaction of tossing them as I get things done.

The problem with that system, as well as the list system, is that "call Sue" takes up the same amount of space as "write grant." One can be done in a few minutes and one takes many hours. But both need to be done.

I'm trying to get some control in various parts of the house. I've packed up quite a bit of the Christmas stuff. I was thrilled to discover tomorrow is recycling day. It's only every other week and I can't keep track. Thank goodness I can get that stuff out of the house. It's already at the curb. Now, if people will just leave it alone, all the better.

People like to go through my trash and recycling. I don't know what I have that's so darned interesting, but it creeps me out. Big time. Really creeps me out. I don't want people going through my trash. I know. It's trash. I'm throwing it out. Why do I care? I don't know, but I do. I think because it's creepy. I mean I'm just one person - I don't drink enough pop that you're going to get rich from the cans. And did I mention it creeps me out?

OK... I couldn't resist more tree pix tonight...

The one above is of a glass icicle I bought in 1990 on a trip to Salt Lake City.

This little glass box was a gift from Virginia at Creative Sisterhood in 2005.



Jackie and Kim brought me this from their honeymoon...



I got this in Boston on a trip with my friend, Fran...



This angel was a gift from my mom. My mom loved birthstone things and this angel is in a blue dress, holding a blue stone - my birthstone is blue topaz.



I picked up some of these little birds in Guatemala in 1999...



This was from Canada in the fall of 2006



This angel came from the Ten Thousand Villages - Et. Cetera shops many, many, many years ago. These are some of my first ornaments.



I don't recall where I picked up this little snowman icicle...



I have a few of these little baby Jesus ornaments I got in Rome that I nestle in the tree in various spots. They're one of my favorites.

What I'm looking for

I've been enjoying the music of Brendan Benson lately.

I particularly love the lyrics to "What I'm Looking For." The first and last verses particularly speak to me. Truly... I don't know what I'm looking for but I can't stop looking.

What I'm Looking For
Brendan Benson

Well, I don't know what I'm looking for
But I know that I just want to look some more
And I won't be satisfied
'Til there's nothing left that I haven't tried
For some people it's an easy choice
But for me there's a devil and an angel's voice
Well, I don't know what I'm looking for
But I know that I just want to look some more

Well, I don't know what I'm living for
But I know that I just want to live some more
And you hear it from the strangers and you hear it from friends
That love never dies and love never ends
And I don't want to argue, no I don't want to fight
'Cause you're always wrong and I'm always right
Well, I don't know what I'm living for
But I know that I just want to live some more

I used to be involved and I felt like a king
Now I've lost it all and I don't feel a thing
I may never grow up, I may never give in
And I blame this world that I live in
I visit hell on a daily basis
And I see the sadness in all your faces
I've got friends who are married and their lives seem complete
And here I am still stumbling down a darkened street

And I act like a child and I'm insecure
And I'm filled with doubt and I'm immature
Sometimes it creeps up on me
And before I know it I'm lost at sea
But no matter how far I roam
I always find my way back home
But I don't know what I've been waiting for
But I know that I don't want to wait anymore

Politics in New Hampshire

Maybe I should move to New Hampshire. Obviously, I'm more in sync with the people there. I've been saying for about three years - before they were running - that this election would be McCain v. Clinton.

Now, before I get all uppity like pollsters have, lets be clear that we have no freaking idea how it will all play out. There's still some time before the election and a lot can happen.

I'm a Hillary supporter. I've been very clear about that. I like Obama and I like Richardson, but I'm a Clinton gal. I love Bill. I love Hillary. I want them back in the white house. Why? Well, because in my entire life the 8 years when Clinton was in the white house is the only time we've had peace and prosperity. What's not to like? I like peace. I like prosperity. I'd like some more of both, thank you. So far, only Clintons have proven to me they can produce those results.

Historically, when Republicans are in the white house our debt increases exponentially. The only exception in modern times is the Carter administration, where there were some unusual circumstances.

And, of course, there's the "O Factor," what will Oprah's involvement do? We'll see. I like Oprah, but I hope to goodness people's votes cannot be bought by a handshake from a TV star. I know she's a big star, and she is a smart woman I believe, but lets keep a little perspective.

I've been amazed at how many people turned their backs on Hillary after Obama's win in Iowa. Are we really so wishy-washy that we can't make up our own minds, but have to just follow the trend of the day? Apparently, yes. Thank God voters in New Hampshire are smarter than the average person who follows the whims as they are laid out by the "news" organizations. And, no, those quotes are not a mistake.

Maybe I should consider a move to New Hampshire because they are obviously my kind of people. I've had my mind made up for many months - before she even announced. Obama's win in Iowa did not change my mind. Nothing changed about either candidate except how a group of voters in Iowa was seeing them. That doesn't impact how I see them.

I like Obama, but to go around talking about how you didn't support the war doesn't count when you weren't even in the Senate at the time the vote was made. Making a speech against war isn't the same as having a responsibility to vote and being told that there are weapons of mass destruction. I made more than one speech against war and I'm not qualified to be president, either.

That whole thing just points out that you don't have much experience on the national - and certainly not the international - stage. I'm afraid that's a serious problem at this point in our history. Eight years from now, with more experience on the national stage, I could be a big supporter. But right now I want Hillary, who will also have the counsel of Bill.

As I heard a pundit say one day - "One thing I've learned in politics is, never bet against a Clinton."

Packing Away Christmas

I've started packing away some of my Christmas stuff tonight. I hate this part. Everything seems so bare when I put the Christmas stuff away. But, I also get eager to have the house de-Kringled and ready for spring. Generally it takes me many, many weeks to get around to getting the tree down, but I want to get to it sooner this year.

I feel a need to have some control in my life, and there are so few things I can control at the moment that this seems like one way to gain a bit. Or at least the appearance of some control.

One of the things I am putting away tonight is this drawing. My great niece Chrissy did this on Christmas Eve, 1985 at my mom's house. I remember her doing it. I can't recall how old she was, but about five or six I'd guess.



She gave me the drawing and I kept it for years. I also wrote her name and the date on the back, which is why I know when it was. A few years ago I ran across it and decided to take it and get it mounted and matted. I framed it and have kept it around since.

I used to have it hanging on the wall all the time but decided the colors would fade that way, as well as the paper fall apart, so I started just puting it out during the holiday season. You may not be able to tell from this rather poor photo I took, but it was done on notebook paper with crayons. Don't you love children's art?

Tonight was Chicks and we had a great time. We laughed so hard for so long tonight. It was a great - I really needed to laugh. It felt good to be sharing humor with that group of people.

Laughing is not something I'm doing enough of lately. Maybe I need the writer's strike to be over.

News

Cathy called this afternoon to tell me they put my brother, Jackie, in the hospital today. They want to change his medication and decided to hospitalize him while they do it so he can be monitored.

Mattie, my brother Jim's wife, got to come home from the hospital yesterday.

Kim (Jackie's daughter in law) goes back to Vanderbilt tomorrow to see the radiologist. She has really been on my mind the last few weeks.

I'm trying to get back into the swing of "real life." It's always a struggle after being gone. And, needless to say, my mind is on my family.

Back in Kansas

I am back in Kansas, after a trip to Kentucky to be with family. I extended my visit a few days. I spent last night in Joplin, and drove the last 4.5 hours home today.

I took a little detour by Fall River today and waited for the sunset.



Of course, before it got to this stage, there were some other pretty scenes. I loved the reflections of the sky in the water. It was like looking an oil painting. Nature imitating art imitating nature, I guess.



I never feel like I can capture the colors as I see them, and no futzing in programs later seems to do the trick, either. Oh well... I guess it's a "you had to be there" kind of thing...



And, yes, I know the standard rule is that the horizon should divide the photo into thirds, not half, but I liked the reflection better this way.

Mary Ann and Jackie always make me feel completely comfortable in Kentucky, but it's good to be back in my own house. It's good to see that everything is OK, to make a cup of tea in my kitchen, to settle back into "the norm."

Unfortunately, I am already feeling so behind it's not even funny. I have so much I need to do. That week without power in December put me a week behind and I haven't caught up so I'm going to be in overdrive for the next few weeks. I have a ton of things I need to do and these are not the things I especially enjoy, which makes it all the more difficult. But, they must be done.

I was hoping to get a head start on some things while in KY, but that didn't happen. I just can't seem to focus, and I don't know what my problem is. I always intend to get so much done - I haul all kinds of things there I plan to work on - and I'm certain I'll get a lot of writing done. But, every time I come back without having accomplished any of it. I guess when I'm there I'm caught up in the moment of what's happening on a day by day basis and ready to put my "real life" on hold. But, real life requires some attention and now that has to be done.

The trick is that I need to be living a "real life" that I don't want to escape from.

And it Continues...

I went to Target tonight and took advantage of the 90% off sale on Christmas things. My big purchases were gift boxes. I was just thinking my stash was depleted and then I was able to buy them for 19 cents for three robe sized boxes. So, I'm good for a long time, now.

This is probably my last purchase of any size. By the way - this cart full of stuff was $20.85.

OK... I know I'm a little nutty about such things, but it makes me happy to go the shelf in the closet and take down exactly that size box I need. It's simple... I know... but it makes me happy. So, there you go.

No Meteors For You

I didn't get to see any meteors last night - it was just too hazy in that part of the sky. It was as if the soup nazi is now in the meteor business and saying, "You... no meteors for you." Oh well... there will be other meteor showers.

Meteor Showers always make me think about Robert Frost's poem "The Star Splitter," although no telescope was involved.

My favorite part is this little snippet.

I recollect a night of broken clouds
And underfoot snow melted down to ice,
And melting further in the wind to mud.
Bradford and I had out the telescope.
We spread our two legs as it spread its three,
Pointed our thoughts the way we pointed it,
And standing at our leisure till the day broke,
Said some of the best things we ever said.

I've had that experience while looking at the stars of pointing thoughts that direction and also sharing some of your best conversation with someone while doing it. Maybe that's why I love that particular bit so much.

Last night it was just me and I wasn't talking to myself. And I'm afraid my thoughts were much more mundane - namely how to keep warm.

Ah, but another night... another chance... for meteors and for lofty thoughts and for good conversation....

I took Jim to the hospital to see Mattie today. She looks much better. A couple of days ago when I was there she was just zonked out sleeping. But, I decided if I had tubes down my nose, pumping my stomach, I'd just as soon be sleeping through it too, so didn't wake her. They've decided no surgery will be necessary - that her bowels "went to sleep" and are now functioning again. She will have some dietary restrictions, but will probably go home Saturday.

Jim and I made it fine. I didn't have any trouble getting the wheelchair in or out of the blazer, and it rolls so nicely that I nearly zipped him too fast down the hallway. I told him he nearly took a ride like at a roller coaster. Hopefully I would have caught him before he hit the wall at the end of the hallway. At least when I think about the "what if" that's how it works - I catch him in plenty of time. I think I noticed his hand hovering near the brake on the return trip. And who could blame him?

He doesn't need the chair except when going a distance. And, as you know, everywhere you go in a hospital is a distance. I guess they figure they'll make you exercise one way or the other.

He was enjoying the pumpkin bread I made yesterday. I didn't eat any, but he tells me it's pretty good.

When I left his house it was near sunset and it looked like it was going to be a nice one, so I headed to Wickliffe to get it over the water. I didn't have time to get to Cairo to the river before it set, which would have been my preference. Unfortunately, they're really ruined the river shoreline in Wickliffe with these monstor docks with lights and all. I wish cities wouldn't let that sort of thing happen. I know... commerce... business... yadda yadda yadda... ugly. Anyway - no cool photo from there, but I did snap this tree on top of a hill before the sun really set.



When I got back to Mary Ann and Jackie's, Bob was here with the puppy. Drake is a bundle of energy - chewing energy - people, paper, hair (namely mine), toes, shoes, fingers (Jackie's), socks (anyone's), chair legs, whatever. But he's just so darned cute. He has grown since I've been here. I'm sure when I see him next he will be huge by comparison.

BC also stopped by tonight. He's in the newspaper this week so we were looking at that and just talking. He's one of my favorite people on the planet. He has always been really personable - even as a little kid. Hard to believe he's 17 - 18 in just a few months.

I've been out to try and see the meteor shower once already, but couldn't see it. I'm going to check again in a few minutes and see if it has moved up the horizon a bit and maybe I'll be able to see it. Unfortunately, we have a few clouds here tonight - that part of the sky mostly. But, maybe I'll get lucky and see some. If not, I guess I'll get lucky and get more sleep than I originally thought. Either way I win, I suppose.

Travel Shopping

I'm doing a  little travel shopping - you know, just considering some as yet undetermined destinations I could fly to at some as yet undetermined dates for some as yet undetermined periods of time. OK... so some women like clothes and jewelry. I like airline tickets and half off Christmas stuff. We all have our vices - they could be worse than glittered holly leaves and entry visas. Really. Much worse.

No matter how many times I see it, I'm still amazed by it. How can it possibly make any sense that I can fly to Barcelona, Spain for less money than it takes to fly to Bangor, Maine? Do the people in Bangor know this? Do they not want us to come there? Is that why it's so expensive to get there? I swear - $603 from KC to Barcelona and $625 to Bangor. I'm not making it up.

I've never been to either place, but in my continual quest for different, Barcelona would win that contest. But... the question is always where else could that money take me instead... Where... Where... Where...

Meteor Shower Tonight

The Quadrantid Meteor Shower will peak about 1:40 a.m. Friday (that's overnight tonight). This is a brief shower - lasting only a few hours, but can be prolific with a couple of meteors visible every minute. The further north and east you are in the US the more likely you are to have a view, but I'm going to try to see some tonight. If you google for the name, you'll get lots of info. No need in me repeating it here. Enjoy!

Scenes of the Day

My day has involved...



furnace repair...  and....



baking pumpkin bread.

Never let it be said that I'm not versatile...

With temps in the low teens, Mary Ann and Jackie's furnace decided today would be a good day to stop working. The gas logs kept us cozy in the living room and the furnace repair guy came out and put the hose back on, which was the problem. But, after he left, and the furnace kicked off, it wouldn't come back on. The hose was off again. We know, because Mary Ann and I went out and took the panel off and put it back on. Only to have the same thing happen.

I told Jackie, "we need something like a clamp that holds a dryer vent on, only much smaller."

The furnace guy came back. And put on a clamp like what holds a dryer vent on, only much smaller.

I loved this man's attitude, too. He didn't charge them for the two visits, saying, "All I did was take out two screws and put a hose back on. And I know when you get ready to replace the unit you'll call me." Now there's a fellow who understands customer service. And how to get business.

Oh that he would share this mentality with the people who work on my house, or give me bids to work on my house - one of which once included a fee of $75 for "replacing the aerator on the upstairs sink." In case you don't know, that's the little thing that screws off the end of your faucet in the kitchen sink. It costs maybe $3 if you get a fancy one - if there even is such a thing - and is probably sold at upscale places like Wal-Mart. You screw off the old one, screw on the new one, and charge the customer $75.

I looked at the guy, laughed, and said, "Do you think ovaries make me particularly stupid, or do you just assume all your potential customers are idiots?" Needless to say, he is NOT my plumber. And I try to warn others away from him whenever I can, but he is doing a booming business, no doubt screwing people over while screwing on aerators.

But... I digress...

This afternoon, I went to Jim's and made him some pumpkin bread. It's one of his very favorite things. His wife, Mattie, is in the hospital, so I wanted to make him something he would enjoy munching on while she's not there cooking for him. I thought of pumpkin bread as I was driving up there.

Mama made him tons of the stuff, and he loves it. Mattie had everything on hand except pumpkin but a quick trip to the store fixed that.

I didn't eat any of it, but I hope it is good. I was liberal with the pecans, just like Jim likes. Fortunately, the recipe was on the blog, so that was mighty convenient. Where, you ask? Right here at this click. You, too, can be making pumpkin bread.

Rituals

Rituals are guide markers, helping us find our way through life, from one event to the next. No ritual starts that way - it starts as a simple act. It's through repetition that it takes on the added cachet of a "must have."

Last night Janice came over to visit at Mary Ann and Jackie's and we were in looking at the tree. Mary Ann pointed out an ornament I had not noticed earlier and told us she had had it on every tree. How I could have missed it all these years, I don't know.

It's an ornament friends of her brother, Eugene and his wife, Cornie, sent Mary Ann when she was a little girl. Eugene was about 15 years older than Mary Ann, so married when she was only 5. It was a Christmas card ornament sent by Harvey and Robbie Tucker that arrived in an envelope. When Mary Ann married, her mom gave it to her and she has had it on every tree since.



It's a silvery, reflective foil, which I hadn't noticed at first.The lower parts are paper, but the tree itself is a heavier foil of some sort. The paper folds down to reveal an inside message. Very clever.



In case you can't make out what it says, here it is:

Hang this greeting on
your tree, for it's an
ornament, too, - you see.

As Christmas spangles trim your tree,
And children's shouts ring out in glee,
May Christmas candles light your way,
To a very Merry Christmas Day!

Also, the back of the card shows the back of the little girl and the presents.



It also has "Brilliants 5330" written in the corner. I'm assuming that's the brand of card. A quick net search yielded only sales of other vintage Christmas cards by the Brilliants company, but no real information.

Obviously, they made some fine products and had a very cool idea. Why don't we have neat stuff like this anymore? This was obviously mass produced. Why can't we mass produce something interesting? With character? That people would want to hang on the tree for more than half a century?

I'm betting the Tuckers had no idea they would be playing a role in a ritual when that card was selected and sent. They probably just thought they were thrilling a little girl with her own piece of mail at Christmas time. Iit was probably sent in the late 40s, but we're not sure.

I just love tradition and ritual and keepsakes. I'm so glad Mary Ann told Janice this story and that I was there to overhear it.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year to you and those you care about. I'm looking forward to a brighter, cheerier, healthier, happier year in 2008.

I don't make New Year's Resolutions, but each year I decide to focus on something in the coming months. This year for me it will be writing.

If you've read here for any amount of time you know I'm a big believer in "signs" and I've had a lot of them lately that this is the thing for me to do. I got a large sign before Christmas and another huge one just a few minutes ago. In between the two I made the decision that this was the focus for 2008 for me. The first "sign" spurred me into making that choice and the second one assures me it's the right decision.

I hope you're able to have all you want in 2008!

More Festive Displays

I went to Paducah today to do a little shopping and lost track of time. Not sure how it happened, but I found myself there after dark. I decided to check out Bob Noble Park and see if there was a light display. I was not disappointed - there's a huge one - and it's free, although donations are encouraged.



It's one of those typical things you see in parks - but it's large and it's festive and it's there on Dec. 30 - all things to recommend it.





Cathy and I had lunch today, which was a nice treat. She was headed to Paducah as well, so we met up and ate. I really like getting to spend time with her and with Kim, but it seems we're generally all running 100 miles an hour all the time and it just doesn't happen too much. Maybe in 2008 we'll have time for more such things.

2007 has been a difficult year in a lot of ways. I'm ready for a bright, cheery, pleasant 2008 for me and everyone I care about.

A Christmas Tree and an Olympus FE300

Tonight I've been experimenting with my new camera, the Olympus FE300, taking photos of Mary Ann and Jackie's Christmas tree. What better subject could there be, after all? I haven't been too impressed with this camera so far, but tonight I'm a little happier with it. Naturally - nice tree photos=happy Patsy.




This Santa was on Kim's packages a few years ago when she did red and white paper- it was a striking combo.






Mary Ann like hummingbirds and someone gave her these really beautiful ornaments.



These snowflakes were my package ornaments last year - red paper with silver snowflakes on it.





I made these gingerbread ornaments one year for everyone. BC was a little guy at the time and I had him write everyone's names on them. It's a nice little touch. Unfortunately, I can't read the year on this one. I think it was 1998, but I'm not sure.



To be fair to the camera, I haven't had time to experiment with it too much so far. These photos were taken on the candle setting. The only thing I'm not thrilled with about that setting is that it won't take high resolution photos on that setting. I'm guessing that's about the grain. So, I don't think prints would be possible, but for the blog this is great. And I haven't experimented with prints so can't say that for sure.



I'm not a professional photographer, nor do I play one on TV, but I do happen to know one. Perhaps Greg will weigh in on the intracacies involved.

The Comforts of Real Quilts Made by Real People

Whenever I'm at Mary Ann and Jackie's, I snuggle under this quilt made by Mary Ann's mom, Margaurite Anderson Cooper. It's a simple design of teal and white, but striking in its geometry of curves and lines.

One of the things I love about this quilt is that it was made by a real woman making quilts for practical purposes, instead of a textile artist creating something that will never grace a bed, never warm a body, never comfort a sick loved one. Generations of women have been expressing themselves creatively through quilts, but it seems we've taken it to a dimension beyond "quilt" these days.

I certainly appreciate the endeavors of those who use fabric as their palette to create art, and have featured some of them here. But, I love a quilt made by the hands of a woman who was doing it not so she could enter it into a show, but to give to her children and grandchildren. They're both heirlooms, but the latter is more meaningful, more grounded, and I daresay more valuable. I cannot imagine anyone would trade a quilt their mother made for a piece of art made by a stranger, even though the stiches might be more perfect, the colors dyed an exacting shade of blue and the quilting done to make another piece of art on the back side.

I like the fact that the stitches aren't perfect. They weave here and there. They're not standard sizes. The fabric is puckered in places. Those things would all result in dramatic mark downs in a show, but only add to the beauty of such a piece as far as I'm concerned.



Somehow it seems that quilts should look like this. They're supposed to look homemade - not so perfect that we are amazed they were done by humans and not machines. Those seem like a ompletely different category of thing to me. A quilt is like this - sweet, homey, comforting.



Everytime I arrive at Mary Ann and Jackie's, tired after a long drive, and pull back the bed spread to see this quilt, I feel loved. You only share something precious, made by your mother's hands, with those you love. Every morning when I wake up with it around me I feel surrounded by the strength of generations of women who perservered, persisted and prevailed.

Women built this nation from the ground up, one quilt block at a time. Of course, they don't get the credit - aside from Betsy Ross - but we all know the truth. Without women building a foundation, this country would never have come to be. Quilts seem a great metaphor for that process of building - quietly - in the background - until a whole quilt comes into being. That's not a perfect process of all straight lines and tiny stitches. The work should show through in places. Maybe that's why I love a quilt that embodies those things.

Doing the Right Thing

As the year is drawing to a close I'm reflecting on the past 11+ months and considering the lessons learned.

I think the biggest lesson for me this year is you have to do what you think is "the right thing," even if few people - or no one - agree with you. You have to know where you stand, and what you think is right, or you are buffetted by the other forces around you. It was something I already knew, and is even one of my rules for living, but this year it was tested, as it had a practical application in my life.

For more than a third of this year, I was embroiled in a situation where I was often at odds with my peers. Other groups and individuals were acting on us from the outside and the whole scenario left me continually searching my heart to see if I was doing "the right thing."

Of course, therein lies the rub. "The right thing" can be hard to ferret out in the midst of high emotion and drama. I tend to have pretty definitive ideas of what the right course of action is at any given moment. However, that doesn't mean I'm always correct. And I reminded myself of that regularly as we moved through a process. I made a conscious effort to keep an open mind, to be open to possibilities I had not considered, to be honorable in my dealings with every situation that cropped up.

By the end of those months I had some new enemies on "both sides," although it wasn't until recently that I even knew that. Sometimes "the right thing" is a dash of this and a dab of that and a healthy blending of the other thing. I find it nearly impossible when dealing with other humans to be firmly entrenched in only one side. Being honorable, for me, requires a mix. This is very confusing those who don't know where you stand when you aren't standing on just one side of a line drawn in the sand.

But, now is the time, when one has acquired a new crop of enemies, that it's important to feel you did "the right thing." If you have acted honorably, to the best of your abilities, you can be comfortable with your decisions - even if they seemed contradictory to others at times. If you followed your best instinct about the correct course of action, after being open to the options and possibilities presented, it's all you can do - it's "the right thing." And when you've done the right thing, as far as you know of course, you can be at peace with it.

It was eye opening for me to watch the process and the other people involved at all stages. There was some behavior to model and some to eschew. I was reminded that each of us has potential to be the best and the worst of humans. No human action is beyond or beneath us - we simply don't always know what the limits are because we haven't tested them. And I was also reminded that none of us is our worst moment. We are bigger than that. By the same token, we are not our best moment either.

Doing "the right thing" may not be our best moment, but it is at least a good moment.

Shopping the Day After Christmas

An appalling lack of shame is the only explanation for why I share these photos with you today.

I had to actually drive to the far end of a parking lot and take my purchases made early in the day out of my car and repack them neatly to get everything I bought into the car while still allowing me to see out the back window.. Then I visited three more stores.

This was the passenger seat in the front of the car, today, after I piled things from the back seat into it, so I could clear it for the tree boxes. Oh... did I not mention the trees...

These are destined to be in my front yard next year... powered by the assemblage of timers and outdoor cords I also purchased today.

I keep a lot of things in the car this time of year - a blanket, jackets, coats, sweaters, etc. At 6:45 this morning I just piled the first crop of trees on top of them. Then I bought some for Greg, too. Then I bought other things and they were not laying flat in the backseat and things were teetering and well... I had to pull to the end of a parking lot and rearrange. I believe this is a first for me and I'm a veteran of Dec. 26 shopping.

I'm not a big shopper. It's not my favorite thing. In fact, clothes shopping is a version of hell for me. Who wants to get dressed and undressed that many times in the span of a few hours? But the day after Christmas I turn into Robo Shopper. I didn't even think there were that many things I wanted today. I expect to come home with wrapping paper and some ornaments and such, but today I got more "utilitarian" things, if you can refer to any sort of decoration in that way. But photo-cell timers aren't the same as sparkly ornaments.

I did pick up a few ornaments, but nothing major. Greg was able to net the Hallmark Barbie ornaments I wanted.

OK... I know... consumerism, commercialism, etc. etc. etc. Just one day a year I want to be Robo Shopper. Just one day. It's a hobby. I'm not saying it's a reasonable one or a good one, but I'm saying it could be a worse one.

And you don't think this happens without "stuff" do you?????



And, yes, not to worry - I bought a case of lights today as backups.

Christmas is for Puppies

Meet Drake.

Santa brought him to BC... a few days early. Drake has been the center of attention all day long. And no wonder. He's the cutest thing around.

He has chewed on paper and boxes and people...



But no one minds because he's just so cute... and efficient...

At only seven weeks old, Drake can already retrieve a duck, even though it's bigger than he is.



And that is why the men of the family are already in love with this pup. The women just think he's adorable.

Merry Christmas

In just a little over an hour it will officially be Christmas - the culmination of my favorite time of year. I hope that your Christmas is full of wonder and magic. If you're celebrating with family and friends, or enjoying the reverence of solitude, may it be all you're hoping for plus some.

Merry Christmas and Happy Whatever Else You May Celebrate!!!

Angel from Long Ago

Today has had a series of ups and downs in it, but one of the perks was running across this little angel Christmas ornament. She's plastic, and about two inches tall, with a wire you use to attach her to the tree.

I remember my mom buying these when I was a little girl. There was a whole set of them. I'm sure some of the others are around somewhere, too.

You can probably tell there's not a lot of detail in her face, but I loved the graceful nature of them even as a little girl. Funny the things we remember. I guess I've been loving Christmas ornaments for a long time now.

This is now the oldest thing I have on the tree - at least that I have a personal connection with. I have some vintage ornaments I've picked up here and there that I don't know the age of.

I'm writing this after midnight so it's now officially my birthday. I guess I'd best get about deciding what I want to be when I grow up, as I get on the other side of the mid forties.

Wrapping Up

I spent the day rushing from one thing to another, trying to tidy up end of the year things for the MHA and also get last minute Christmas cards out. I know they probably won't get there by Christmas, but so it goes. I used a different system this year, and it had some flaws. Ooops.

We went out to look at Christmas lights tonight and capped off the evening with a moon burger at Skaets. The moon burger was named in honor of the moon landing, back in 1969, and is still on the menu. I guess that's how you know something is a classic. It comes with bacon, cheese and mayo on it. I like grilled onions with mine.

Lisa is one of my favorite people at Skaets. Tonight she, along with everyone else working there, was sporting one of these cool Santa hats. They have some definite spring to them.

I really want more Christmas season. I want more time to enjoy the lights and music and decorations. This is why I always want to start early - it just ends too soon for me.

I've been wrapping a couple of last minute gifts tonight. No matter when I get started, I'm still wrapping on Christmas eve. I can always think of one more little thing I'd like to get someone.

Well, I need to sleep a bit. I'm so glad tomorrow is Saturday. I have accomplished a ton of things this week.

And I just finished a cup of hot chocolate, complete with little marshmallows, so my Christmasy evening is wrapping up.

Tired of Winter

I am officially tired of winter. Unfortunately, I don't think winter has officially started yet.

I'm one of those people who's always cold. And from the first time there's a cold snap I'm cold until spring. The one time I get warm is at night, under my electric blanket. But, as soon as I throw back the covers in the morning I'm cold again. And I stay cold all day.

My home office, where I spend a huge amount of time, is on the north side of my house. I have storm windows and plastic and weatherstripping and every other device I can think of and still my legs and feet are cold.

There's one thing about the 80s I miss, and it's not the music. I miss the leg warmers. Remember leg warmers? They're a genius invention. That is the part of my body that is the coldest - from the top of my socks up to where my jeans start to flare.

Often at night what prompts me to go upstairs is not that I'm exhausted, it's that I'm frozen, and I want to get under my electric blanket.

I'm tired of winter. Oh, and did I mention snow is in the forecast for tomorrow?

Six Years Ago Today

Six years ago today I closed on my house. It was terrifying and exhilerating, all at the same time. Many things were going on in my life at the time and making such a huge decision seemed overwhelming. But, at the same time, so much had happened in the months preceeding this, that it seemed like just another step.

I've been very happy as a homeowner. I've done a lot to the house, although not much in the past year. Generally I've taken photographs every Dec. 19 to illustrate my progress, but it hasn't changed much in the last year. Maybe next year there will be reason to take a lot of photos.

This is one I took this summer. The hardwood didn't look this way when I bought the house - it had dried on glue from various carpet installations. This was under the powder blue carpet that was accented with grease stains where a previous resident had worked on his motorcycle in the dining room.

The question I always want answered is why the dining room. I know of four such cases, in addition to mine, of people working on motorcycles in the dining room. It's just not one of the uses for a dining room that jumps immediately to mind for me, but it obviously is for others.

I've always wanted a big old two story house. The feel of a house that's been loved by others is special. I don't need perfection. I need history. The idea of settling in where others have loved, lived and laughed and adding my own energy appeals to me. This house suits me for this time in my life.

Giddy

I'm completely giddy over things like heat, lights and working appliances. What can I say? A week without them makes one appreciate them even more.

I've been enjoying my own Christmas decorations, as well as other people's. Greg took this photo a couple of nights ago of Christmas lights peeking through the snow on a bush. Doesn't that just look like some sort of confection?.

Tonight we went to CiCi's for dinner and happened to catch The Grinch on The Cartoon Network. Maybe I've not mentioned my love of the Grinch before, but it's substantial. That is one of the things I have to see every year for it to BE Christmas. Oh my... that part where his heart grows...

I also have to see Miracle on 34th Street and It's a Wonderful Life. I like to see Rudolph, too. That Burl Ives snowman - genius.

Gary came this afternoon and picked up the generator. My porch looks bare without it, but I'm so thankful to no longer be in need of it. And I am SO thankful to them for the loan of it. I must try to model their kindness to others.

I wish I had another few weeks before Christmas. I need more time to enjoy the holiday season. Of course, I think this every year.

I'm still on a campaign to move Thanksgiving to the end of September, then have Halloween at the end of October and then officially begin the Christmas season on November 1. I think it has merit. Who do I talk to about that?