Tea a Success

I've been working every waking moment the last few days preparing for the tea. I've been sleeping way too little - even for me. I'm headed to bed very soon - yes, right after 11 p.m. I know, scandalous.

Greg came today and took photos for me, which of course I"ll be sharing here but I'm way too tired to do that tonight. So, here are a couple of photos from Friday when we were doing the set up. Above are Dolly and Toyla doing the napkins for their beautiful table. Below are Nancy (pink) and Shanna working on Shanna's butterfly table. They were all wonderful.



We have different groups decorate the tables so each one is different. It turned out very cool and we sold out. So, all in all it was successful. Now if we could figure out how to do it without me needing to recuperate!

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Ginger Cookies for Tea

I'm busy preparing for the MHA's tea on Saturday. Today I made ginger cookies. Lots of ginger cookies.

I have a somewhat unnatural love of ginger cookies. They are the perfect accompaniment to tea as far as I'm concerned. Oatmeal cookies and ginger cookies are my two favorite kinds. Chocolate chip just doesn't do it for me in the same way.

This recipe is my favorite for ginger cookies. I've been making it since 1992. How do I know this? Because I wrote the first time I made it on the recipe. I do that sometimes - particularly if I make something for a particular person or event. These made their debut at the 1992 Christmas party.

Oh... and speaking of Christmas... I bought some ornaments at Hobby Lobby today. They're 40% off this week and I know from experience that they usually don't get additional shipments. So, if there's something you want it's the time to pick it up.

I'm sure I'll be making these cookies again before the holiday season is over. Enjoy!

Ginger Cookies

3/4 cup unsalted butter, softened
1 cup sugar
1 egg
1/4 cup unsulfured molasses
2 cups all purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ginger

Cream the butter and sugar, add in egg and molasses. Add dry ingredients and mix well. Shape the dough into balls and roll in sugar. Bake at 350 degrees for about 8 minutes. These cookies will spread out as they bake, although less if you keep the dough chilled.

This recipe makes about 60 cookies or normal size, more if you're doing bite-sized tea goodies.

I like to mix them the night before and chill overnight in the fridge, but that is not necessary. I just find the dough easier to work with when it’s cold. Today I mixed them this afternoon and baked tonight.
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Tell Me Who You Are

Tonight I ran across this, "The Invitation" by Oriah Mountain Dreamer, which remains one of my favorite pieces of writing. It's so simple and yet so poignant.

There's only one stanza I don't agree with - I do care significantly about the truth. Otherwise, every word of it speaks to me on so many levels.

She expresses so beautifully my philosophy of life, which I bumble through when trying to explain to people. She is able to speak it so clearly - with a poet's command of the language.

The things that matter to me are not the things "the world" deems as important. I just cringe when someone asks what I do for a living - as if that's the most valuable piece of information someone could garner about me. Yet, I find myself wanting to ask the same thing sometimes because it's "inappropriate" to ask the things I really want to know.

What I really want is for you to tell me about when you've grieved, lusted, overcome, cried, laughed, given into your whims, marveled at nature, worried about tomorrow or longed for yesterday. I want to know what you think about at night when you can't sleep. I want to know what you fear. What wakes you from a sound sleep with the sweat pouring and your heart pounding? I want to know what you want. What do you desperately, terribly, painfully want - what is the desire that is always on your mind? Tell me about the lost love you still long for all these years later. Tell me about the great aunt you adored. Tell me about the desperation you felt when trying to find your way in the world. Tell me how you manage to get up and go through the day knowing what you know about life.

I long to connect with people in a meaningful way, which I cannot imagine will ever be based on what either of us does for a living. I want to find a way to say, "please, tell me who you are, not what you are."

As the poem says:

I don't care what you do for a living...
I don't care how old you are...
I don't care who you know...
I don't care where you live or how much money you have...

BUT...

I do care so much about...
what you ache for...
if you have touched the center of your sorrow and survived...
if you can dance with wildness...
if you can sit with pain...
if you can be alone with yourself.

The Invitation
by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.
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Heaven Help Me - a New Collection

Heaven help me, there's a new thing I'm collecting. Okay, "collecting" might be a strong word since I've only picked up two pieces, but I'm suddenly enchanted with it and that usually means more pieces are to follow. At least it's something that seems to be of no real value to anyone else.

Is it something...
...exotic? no
...expensive? no
...that will put a child through college? no
...you probably have? yes
...you're proudly diplaying? no
...worth a lot of money? no
...of antique value? no
... I'm infatuated with? YES

It's Daher Decorated Ware.



Okay, a few days ago I had no freaking clue what that was, and wouldn't now if I hadn't read it on the back of the tray (above) I bought a week or so ago. Then I saw the same thing on a bowl I bought yesterday. My grand total for these two items - $1.49. Like I said - it's not worth a lot. Except I love it. And that makes it worth something to me. At least $1.49.



If you have it, it's probably tucked away in the attic in a dusty box because you couldn't bear to throw it out. Yet. I think these were made in the 1970s. I'm basing that on the fact that there's a 1971 copyright on the back of them, but I have no other info. Although I suppose they do have that distinctive 70s look as far as colors, which wasn't the epitome of home decor, even in the 70s.

But, for some reason, the colors appeal to me. Is it because those were my formative years? Is it because I don't have good taste enough to pack it away and put it in the attic like all reasonable people did by 1977? I don't know. I just suddenly re-discovered it and fell in love. I want more. I love it. I need more. Need, people... NEED... I have needs!

Okay... you are getting sleepy... but not too sleepy... because you are feeling the urge to go to your attic and riffle through boxes... you are feeling the need to pull out decorated trays and bowls and tins and other colorful items... you want to send me all your Daher Decorated Ware so I can love it and enjoy it and display it... you are addressing the box...

Okay, hey, it was worth a shot. I knew I should have finished that psychology degree. Since I don't see you running up the steps, I suppose I'd best go to Goodwill and see if another little treasure has made its way onto the shelves, just waiting to come to my house!
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I lead a charmed existence. I have known this for many years, and today is yet another example of why it's true.



Greg and I spent the evening - a beautiful evening - on a golf course in Wichita watching Air Supply. Forty-eight hours ago, I didn't even know there was an Air Supply concert planned and tonight I was sitting there with die-hard fans enjoying the free concert.








A friend of Greg's gave him tickets. We were a bit wishy-washy on going, but are so glad we did. I wanted to go to Wichita thrift store hopping and Greg decided he wanted to do that, too. We thought since we were there anyway we should check out the concert. This was after Greg had offered the tickets to another friend of his who is a devoted Air Supply fan.



The deal was you were supposed to park at an aircraft factory lot, and busses would run from there to the golf course for a concert that was starting at 8.




Well, at 8 we were finishing up thrift stores. So, we moseyed on over to the parking lot and found where we were supposed to park. But, the security guards told us the last bus had run and we were out of luck. We asked if we could just drive to the golf course and park there and they said no, there was no parking there for the concert.

We thanked them and drove off. I looked at Greg and said, "lets just go over there." He said, "yeah, definitely." So, we drive the 2-3 more miles over to the golf course, where we found another security guard at the gate. In my best southern girl voice I asked if there was anywhere there we could park for the concert. He said to go to the right and if we could find a place we could have it. We found one. A very nice one, actually.








So, we walked on into the event and arrived just as things were getting underway. I still had my lawn chair in the car from last night's Rudy Love concert so I set it up in the back and got comfy and sat back to enjoy the music. Greg, of course, headed right down front to get photos. It was very casual, so even though we had arrived late, he was able to go straight to the stage.  Naturally, all of these photos are his.



After the concert we met up and went and waited in line to meet the guys. They were very gracious with everyone, and even posed for a photo with Ace.





I gotta tell you - these guys put on a show. Even if you're not huge fans, you'll walk away impressed. And, for the record, there were lots of men there without women in tow. Straight men.



I guess if you tour for 30 years, you learn how to put on a show. Or, maybe that's the other way around and you don't get people paying to see you for 30 years unless you know how to put on a show. Regardless of the chicken/egg order, the show is worth seeing.

The crowd was loving it.



Greg tells me multiple women were flashing the band. Poor Greg. One has to suffer for one's art - even including watching women bare their breasts to the band.



Just in case you were wondering, it was a successful day of thrifting, too. Charmed, I tell you... a charmed life... for which I'm incredibly thankful.
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Rudy Love and the Love Family Band in Hutchinson

Rudy Love and the Love Family Band kicked off the weekend long Emancipation Day Celebration in Hutchinson Kansas tonight. It was a free concert, sponsored by the Hutchinson Reno Arts and Humanities Council. There was free music, free hotdogs, free lemonade and ice water. What more could you want on a summer evening?



I've seen Rudy and family perform before, but it's always a treat.



A musical prodigy Rudy formed his first group, the “Junior Canaanites” at his home church when he was in the 5^th grade, by the age of 18 he was touring with Little Richard and in the early 1970s was an established studio artist working for Motown Records and the Muscle Shoals Rhythm Section appearing on records with such luminaries as Marvin Gaye, Ray Charles, and the Temptations.

In 1975 Love became the musical director for Sly and the Family Stone touring the world with that popular group. Later as a soloist and leader of his own band Rudy extensively toured Asia and Europe developing a loyal following of fans that help make his 1997 disc “Out of Rhythm” go platinum.



Rudy has recorded with some of the greatest. This list includes Ray Charles, Stevie Wonder, Carlos Santana, Marvin Gaye, Chaka Kahn, Van Morrison, Little Richard, Billy Preston, Buddy Miles, Herbie Hancock, Tower of Power, Bill Wyman, Little Richard, Sly and The Family Stone and Isaac Hayes.



Returning to Kansas Love has kept performing, recording and writing music. Examples of Rudy’s more recent work can be found on the sound track of the hit movie “American Gangster” and his collaborations with hip hop impresario Jay Z.




With Wichita as a home base Rudy Love has continued the family tradition of musical performing excellence began by his father Robert Love Sr. who recorded for the Chess Record label and toured the country as a performing musician with noted gospel and R & B artists. Now the next generation is performing as well.




One of the fun things about an event like this is bumping into friends and acquaintances. It was great to see Jocelyn...



When I looked at Greg's pix, I noticed he also had a photo of her family.



That's Jocelyn's mom in the salmon, and that's Theda in the white. With her back to us is Aunt Joyce. I didn't get a chance to visit with any of them tonight, but I know I've mentioned Theda on the blog, so now you get to see a photo. I'm sure you can tell these ladies all come from an amazing gene pool - look how great they look!

Diana was there too...



I also saw Scharlotte, although I didn't get much of a chance to visit with her. That's her on the right. With her are Mark and his wife, Gail. Mark is director of the HRAH council.



I sat with Elsie for quite a while and visited...

Greg got some great pix of these kids dancing... it was hard to choose a photo to use...



I love, love, love this park - right in the heart of downtown. It changed the face of Hutchinson. It's a real jewel.





Of course... almost all of these photos are courtesy of www.thelope.com.
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To Write Love on Her Arms

Today you may run into people who have "Love" written on their arms. It's an event inspired by the "To Write Love on Her Arms" story. The goal is to raise awareness of depression, addiction, self-injury and other mental illnesses. If you want to read more about it, go to http://www.twloha.com/the_story.php. If you want to participate, read more about it on facebook and write love on your arm.

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Fresh Tomato and Mozzarella Salad

Fresh Tomato and Mozzarella Salad is one of my summertime recipes. It's incredibly easy.



Start with some goodies from the garden



wash the basil, chop coarsely and pour some olive oil over it to flavor the oil



Fresh Tomato and Mozzarella Salad

2 tomatoes, peeled and sliced
1 ball fresh mozzarella, sliced
one bunch fresh basil
2 Tablespoons extra virgin olive oil

Wash basil and chop coarsely. Pour olive oil over and let sit.

Layer tomatoes and mozzarella and drizzle olive oil over all. Garnish with basil. Add salt and freshly ground pepper to taste.

This is plenty to serve two, or four if you're using it as an appetizer.

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Happy 1950s Housewife

I could have easily been a 1950s housewife. Never mind I wasn't alive in the 50s. Fantasies can't be bogged down with these minor details.

From what I understand, in the 50s women spent their time making a house a home. I know it's a cliche. I know we're all supposed to be concerned about our profit sharing numbers. I know we spent the 60s overcoming the 50s.

Can we just put all of that aside for a moment and think about how lovely it would be to sit down to a home-cooked meal every night, in a clean house, with a beautifully set table? The family would be gathered around, listening to father dispensing wisdom while we all ate our home-baked coconut pie with the real meringe. Okay, I'll admit, parts of that scenario creep me out a little bit - particularly that part about Dad dispensing wisdom.

But, I could so easily have been happy spending the day in my house, puttering around and dusting, stopping only to make canapes to be served with a relish tray of olives and home-made pickles. The day would end as we slipped into crisp, clean sheets still smelling of sunshine and perhaps a tiny spritz of lavendar water. Of course, my vision of this 1950s life includes microwaves, modern vacuum cleaners, racial equality, and the internet. Hey, it's my fantasy. Don't ruin it for me.

I'm not sure exactly what part of this fantasy appeals to me, but I think it's mostly having a home I want to be in and not having to leave it to go into the work world. However, the more I think about it, it sounds completely exhausting to make this ideal home. It might require Martha Stewart and staff, as well as the fictional Bree Hodges. And I haven't even added in the 2.5 children yet. We better bring supernanny into the picture too.

I'm starting to understand why women rebelled against this, although I'm surprised they had any energy left for rebellion. Now that I think about it I guess I just want the canapes and fresh sheets, surrounded by a spotless home.

I guess that's why this is a fantasy...
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Friends and Food

Teresa, Peggy and Andrea came over last night for a gathering. We talked about the collages we did in April, looking for new insights. All of us still need to do a lot of journaling, per the book, but it was a nice evening.

Everyone brought something to share and we ended up having quite a spread of food. Teresa even made her wonderful chicken salad. It's always good to share food with friends.



It also gave me a chance to use those cool glasses in that carrier you see in the photo. Are those not the coolest?!?!? I bought them at goodwill for $6.99 last week. All eight of them are in great shape - the look like they've not even been used. I love them.

A bonus of the evening was that I was able to send some tomatoes home with all of them. I'm starting to feel a bit like a pusher. I have 12 plants in. Why? Because I just can't seem to stop myself from buying them when they're first out. That's when they're a foot tall. Now they're growing out the top of the six foot cages. And producing. And producing more.

Unfortunately, some of my favorite tomatoes are one that don't produce as much - things like golden jubilee. I had a fresh one with a sandwich for lunch Monday. Yum!

Andrea reminded me last night of the old Garrison Keillor joke about being afraid to leave your car unlocked in the summer because someone might put garden produce in it.

Barriers, Masks and Words that Make Me Unapproachable

I think of myself as very open and approachable. I'm always open to new friendships, new experiences and new people and places. It's how I'm living life. At least that's what I think.

However, over the years, multiple people have told me that when they first met me they found me "unapproachable" in one way or another. What's interesting is that this attitude is formed without me speaking a word or interacting with them in any way. I can only conclude my non-verbal cues are strong.

My friend, Leah, told me that when she used to see me in the hallways of the building where we both worked, she thought I was very standoffish. We had exchanged hellos a few times, but that didn't impact her view.

One of my former boyfriends told me that the day he met me he thought the, "chance for rejection was extremely high." I asked for clarification and he said I gave the impression that I had it all together. When I pressed  more he pointed out my little red glasses I had at the time. He said, "Your glasses are like you're saying to the world - hey, you may not know they're cool, but I do, and I don't care what you think. Besides, you'll come around. You'll think they're cool too eventually."

I'm astonished that I can communicate this much with a pair of glasses or the way I walk down a hallway or any number of other things. But, I don't question the veracity of it. The real proof is in what people perceive, not what I think I'm doing or not doing, and those were their perceptions so they're valid.

Another acquaintance told me once, when we were starting to get to know each other - and obviously we didn't really accomplish that because she's not a "friend" but an "acquaintance" - that "not everyone is as healthy as you" when it comes to relationships. We were talking about co-dependency at the time, as I recall. I was literally sitting there with my mouth hanging open because I could not believe anyone would consider me "healthy" with regard to relationships. I've got a string of them behind me - all failed - and the common denominator there is me - so why would anyone think I'm good at this. The proof tells another story.

But, she found it very "off-putting" that I was adamant that I would never live with an alcoholic or accept a "crazymaker" into my life. I didn't say she couldn't do that, just that I would never live with that. I wasn't offering this opinion out of turn - it was asked - but the fact that I was certain about my feelings seemed to be the real issue. Is it more engaging if you're uncertain? If you need to talk about these things to figure out why you feel this way? I'm very clear about why I feel this way, and I'd be happy to share, but it's a long, ugly, pretty boring story. Why would I subject someone to that?

Honest to goodness, I don't go through my days scowling. I think I'm a pretty smiley-faced person most of the time. That has changed over the years, of course. We all change as we mature. I would say I like my personality better now than I did 20 years ago. Leah met me then, but the ex-bf and acquaintance were far more recent than that, so the problem hasn't gone away.

At the same time, other people are puzzled when I mention this. They can't imagine why anyone would think I'm not open and friendly. Jade found me very open when we met a few months ago. At least I think so. I'll try to confirm that with her when we have lunch tomorrow. I'm assuming that other people I've met recently found me open, as well. At least they seem to. Maybe I better ask.

The "unapproachable" thing has come up often enough throughout my life that I think it's worthy of some exploration on my part. I'm just stymied by what that should be. Generally when I need to figure something out I put pen to paper and write. Tonight I decided maybe I'd try the fingers to keyboard approach instead.

This past weekend, when Trish was looking at my collage I did in April, she said the words were distracting to her. That the words on it are all things I would say but that the real meaning was beneath that and the words were just a barrier to seeing everything else. I asked Trish yesterday, and Teresa tonight, what it is about me that it seems I'm holding back.

I write about my life here almost every day. And, yes, much of it is very surface stuff. But, some of it is much more personal and has deeper meaning. I've written about everything from the death of my mother, to losing a man I loved, to my thoughts on politics and attitudes about almost everything imaginable.

Yes, I still keep pen/paper journals and I don't write here about the things in those. But, by and large, those are things I can't imagine anyone wants to hear about. They're things I've only ever discussed with two of the men I've been seriously involved with, and even then there are things I keep private. Doesn't everyone? I thought everyone had a private life - a life where they keep their insecurities, fears and traumas. Is this not the case? Seriously, this is a real question - not rhetorical. I certainly don't know all of those things about everyone in my life so either they don't have that private life or they are keeping it quiet. I have it, but I've never thought anyone would be particularly interested in it - nor is it something I want to give a lot of energy to by discussing. Is that what is missing?

I do not write here about my love life, nor do I discuss it much in real life. There is no one I'm serious about at the moment, so that's probably why. If I were madly in love it would show through in the writing, but when that part of my life is casual instead of serious, there just isn't much to say. The occasional funny comment from someone, but that's about it. Besides, I've learned that very few people are interested in your intimate life. It makes most people feel envy or pity, and neither of those is flattering to any of us, so why go there?

Additionally, I want to interact with the people in my life on their own merits, not those of the other people in their lives - so I try to extend that courtesy to others. I'd love to meet your husband, wife, significant other, son, grandchild, etc. - and form a relationship with them. But, I need to connect with people on a more meaningful level than the fact that they have married or reproduced or that their progeny have done the same. I'd rather form a relationship with each of those people on their own strengths. Does this make me unapproachable? I don't know.

I would not share all of my private thoughts with someone I just met, but that doesn't seem to be appropriate for anyone. I have a fragile core that I do protect until I know I can trust someone, but I thought that was normal. Doesn't everyone have a fragile core? A place where you keep all your deep insecurities tucked away? Surely you don't share those when you're first meeting people. At least I don't meet people like that. Well, truthfully, I have met a few people who tell you way too much about themselves when you first meet, and I've always been afraid I might be one of those people.

I'm really struggling with this at the moment. I guess I'm puzzled what to do about it, if anything. I'm having some difficulty pinpointing the problem, which makes it impossible to address, of course. How do I communicate that I am open and willing to engage? How do I find the false front I give to the world when I don't even know what it is myself?

I'm trying to be logical and look for examples in my life and consider if those are unique to me or if they are common experiences. Obviously, this is something I want to address - I just don't know how. I want to be open with people. I want to be engaging. I want to be open to possibility.
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A Weekend in Elk Falls Kansas

Elk Falls, Kansas is in the southeastern part of the state. Trish, Teresa and I spent the weekend  at the Sherman House Guesthouse there, so we could have some time away for a creative visioning process. It was the same process I did at Ramona with some friends in April.









I didn't do a new collage because I haven't fully delved into the one I did in April. I took it along, and Trish had some good insights into it.



Elk Falls is an interesting community and we enjoyed meeting Steve and Jane Fry, who own the Sherman House B and B and also operate Elk Falls Pottery. They were lovely folks and invited us to also visit their rock garden. I'll have more photos of that in the coming days.

I went out early this morning to the falls, where I spotted this heron enjoying the breaking day.



I then took a lovely drive out into the country. Trish loaned me her car as I didn't have one with me. Greg headed to Joplin on Friday so he just detoured and took me to Elk Falls. It was nice to have his company on the way down and Trish's on the way back.

Teresa met us there, coming up from Oklahoma where she had been to watch her granddaughter, Kylie, play in a national softball tournament. Her team came in fifth!

Friday night Teresa and I headed out for dinner and decided to go to Sedan. We did not enjoy our food at the Rack Shack (BBQ) very much - I'm sorry I can't recommend it - but we saw a beautiful double rainbow.



I couldn't resist taking a photo of downtown Sedan with the rainbow stretched over the main street. Of course, those power lines detract, but otherwise it's a lovely chamber of commerce shot. To top it off, Sedan has a "yellow brick road," where people buy bricks, which I had stepped on to take the photo.



It was an incredible weekend. We want to do it again very soon.
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