It's Not a Giant Mango

No, it's not a giant mango. It's a small banana.

I went shopping tonight and found these - yes, small bananas. I'm a sucker for stuff like this, which is why they're now in the fruit bowl on the table. I haven't eaten one yet, but the bag they came in said they're sweet. You know Dole wouldn't lie to me, right? I'll report back on that.



I spent today working around the house, including packing away more Christmas stuff. A few people have asked what happened to all those ornaments I bought. Well, they're packed into plastic tubs, ready to be taken to the basement for storage.

Yesterday Greg and I went to Wichita to see Avatar in 3D. I love that movie. This was the second time I've seen it. I think it's the first time I've ever seen a current movie more than once. I'm not a big movie goer anyway, and can't think of a single one I've seen more than once when it was first released. I hope I'm not headed toward a time when I'm camping out for tickets to the sequel, and talking to a reporter with my face painted blue, telling them how many times I've seen the movie. I would like to see it in Imax, but that's where I draw the line. Really. Honest. Of course, it's definitely a large screen experience.

I could really use one more weekend day. There are lots of things in the house I need to take care of. I'm starting to feel good enough I can actually be up, moving around, for extended periods of time. As you might guess, when that hasn't been the case for two months, lots of things need attention. I am still not lifting much, and don't carry anything when going up and down steps, so many things are very time consuming. Getting groceries requires one bag at a time, carried to the steps, then into the house, then finally into the kitchen. All those little hops for each bag add up to a serious time investment. But, I'm thankful I can do it at all.

I did spend some time in the studio this afternoon. It, also, needs a serious clearing out. I started to pack up some things to take to Goodwill today and realized that I wouldn't be able to move them once I got them together. So, I sat down and played instead.

This week I've got some fun scheduled with friends, getting together for lunch and dinner, so that will be nice. It makes the week go by faster when there's some fun on the agenda.

January 8

January 8, 2009 was a turning point in my life. That morning between 10 and 10:30 my doctor's office called to tell me the test I'd had two days earlier showed a "suspicious mass." They wanted me in the office that afternoon for a CT scan and then a visit with my doctor.

I called Greg, who was still in Joplin after the holidays, and he rushed back, arriving while I was sitting in Dr. Wesley's office, but before he had come in. My doctor spent a long time with me that day, delivering the news that there was an ovarian tumor and no way to know if it was malignant until surgery.

I'm guessing it never gets easy for doctors. Here's a man who is generally seeing me through sniffles telling me I'm destined for surgery that may indicate my life will be ending soon. Of course he didn't know, any more than I did, what was really happening. Although, thankfully, he had done a CA125 level, which was normal, and that was a comfort. I could not have asked for a better guide through the process.

More doctor visits ensued and I found myself in the incredibly capable hands of Dr. Horbelt in Wichita, who operated Jan. 27. I knew when I visited with him the first time that this was the man I wanted working on giving me a future. Late the next day I got the word it was benign, which we decided is one of the most beautiful words in the English language.

So, yesterday marked a year since I found out about the tumor. It was on my mind all day as it started the last year's journey. Over the next couple of weeks this will no doubt be on my mind, particularly on the 28th - the day I got the word that it was benign.

I'm big on marking time with beginnings and endings. Yesterday felt like a day for closing the door on the difficulties of the last year. I went back this morning and read the blog entries from that time. In one of them I'm talking about how we never know what gifts come in disguise. I have certainly learned a lot in the last year. And there have been some real high points, too.

Life is a journey. Like all journeys, it has a beginning and an end. But 2009 wasn't my end.

Quote of the Day

"Thus, in a real sense, I am constantly writing autobiography, but I have to turn it into fiction in order to give it credibility."

Katherine Paterson


There are times when I'm writing here, or elsewhere, that I think fiction would be more believeable. Today is one of those days.

Friendship

Trish and I had yet another fascinating conversation at lunch today, discussing friendship and how to encourage people to share on a meaningful level. The best description I can come up with is that I want people to share something personal with me, something real, something about them.

I haven't figured out how to get people to tell me about them - not their children or grandchildren, not their jobs, not their posessions - but them... what they think and feel... what they've read recently that struck them... something meaningful. I'm not asking for everyone's deep, dark secrets, but I need more than chit chat.

When I find people unwilling to share themselves it's hard for me to build a relationship beyond a surface one. And I'm not really interested in a surface relationship. If I don't know who you are at your core how can I bond with you?

If I wanted to know about your son I'd invite him to get together. If I wanted to know about your job I'd come visit you at work. I want to know about you. You are enough. I don't need you to "fluff up" your conversation with other people and their accomplishments. You are enough. Just you.

So far I haven't figured out how to move beyond this fluff with some folks. I want the real person, not the ancillary people and events in your world. Just you.

Well, time for me to go turn on the electric blanket. It's frigid here. I have water running in the kitchen and will turn it on in the bathroom sink when I go upstairs. It's supposed to be 4 degrees at 8 a.m., with a wind chill of 20 below. I'm sure I'll feel it when I go out to warm up the car. Yikes.

I'm so thankful for a warm house. It's easy to take those things for granted because we're used to them. But, I'm thankful.

What a Difference a Year Makes

A year ago this time, I had no idea what was to happen. I guess that's true pretty much anytime, but of course when one has dramatic events it's human nature to use them to mark time.

On January 6 last year I went in for a medical test that would lead, two days later, to the diagnosis of an ovarian tumor. It set in motion a series of events that have culminated in yesterday's pronouncement by yet another surgeon that I'm healing well from yet another sugery.

I had no inkling I was about to embark on three weeks of wondering what was happening inside me and what it meant for the future, if there was a future. And I certainly had no concept of what the year would entail as I made my way back to health.

Greg said recently that he was amazed by my strength then - that I really seemed prepared to hear that I was dying. I guess I just didn't see any other choice. If you're told you could have a serious illness that may result in your death, and you have a few weeks before you know, you spend that tinme getting your affairs in order and preparing yourself.

I was very fortunate. And if I had to choose a "phrase of the year," it would be, "Benign is a beautiful word." I'm a very lucky girl.

Healing is an Inflammatory Process

I went for a follow up with my surgeon today. Following is a rough repeat of the conversation.

Surgeon: Push your belly out.

I do... he pokes around and proclaims: "Everything looks good."

Me: Great. I'm still in pain.

Him: Healing is an inflammatory process.

Me: I'm in pain here and over here.

Him: Healing is an inflammatory process.

Me: Where is the patch, exactly?

Him: Here (as he spreads his hands in a circle over my tummy) but deep.

Me: So the pain could be from the healing of that?

Him: Those stitches have to heal. They'll pull. The patch is deep. Healing is an inflammatory process.

My Conclusion: All is well. The pain is normal because healing is an inflammatory process. I'll be in pain until I'm not in pain. When I'm not in pain anymore I'm healed. In the meantime I'll try to not do anything that causes more pain than the usual amount of pain.

Waiting For Someone To Ask

Once in a great while, if you're a lucky person and you open yourself to it, you are priviledged to experience something that leaves you changed. We all think about the big events, but sometimes it's a simple thing, a moment you had no inkling of when you got up that morning, that makes an impression.

I had one of those moments in April of 2008 when I attended a poetry reading by Kim Stafford, one of the four children of poet William Stafford, a Hutchinson native. William Stafford was the Poet Laureate of the United States in 1970, before the position had that title, and won a National Book Award. His portrait is part of a mural downtown. He's holding a page that says, "Any star is enough if you know what star it is."

William Stafford was incredibly prolific. He wrote more than 20,000 poems. He also kept a daily journal for 50 years.

During the reading Kim told us about the last conversation he had with his father. They were talking about events that had occurred in his father's youth, and his father told him the stories he was sharing were ones he had never told before. When Kim inquired why, his father told him he was "waiting for someone to ask."

That struck Kim - that his father, who wrote every day for 50 years, who had a daily practice of quiet time devoted to writing, had stories he hadn't told. Stories for which he had been waiting to be asked.

This has stayed with me.

Don't we all have stories we're waiting to tell? I tell one here every day, and yet there are still more to tell. Sometimes stories have to wait for the right moment in order to be heard. Sometimes that moment is when someone asks.

How many people around us have stories for which they're waiting to be asked? I'm guessing almost everyone. It would seem we have a nearly endless supply of stories, and yet so few are told because we don't ask.

Ask.

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The New Year

A new year has dawned... a new decade, even. I hope it's one filled with happiness, health and contentment for all of us.

Every year, or decade, or sometimes even a day, has some good and bad mixed in. Rarely is anything all positive or all negative.

The decade just past saw the deaths of my mother, my brother, and two very dear friends. It included the end of a relationship with a man I deeply loved. It ended with a year that included two surgeries and much recovery.

But the decade also saw me buying my first home, building new relationships, and going into two different jobs at various times - both of which were perfect for me at the time. It also brought a deepening of some friendships and some defining moments I'll carry with me forever.

Friday night Greg, Sharon and I went to dinner, and then to Metropolitan Coffee to ring in the new year. It was nice to welcome a new era and bid goodbye to 2009. There were other folks there we knew, of course, including my friend, Jason, on the right in this photo.



I spent New Year's Day relaxing and taking care of some household chores. I'm expecting company in a few weeks and my house is barely livable for me - even downstairs - much less anyone else.

The upper floor of my home is off limits to anyone but me, but I try to keep the lower level functional. But, in the time I've not been able to climb upstairs I've migrated tons of things downstairs that I need - like clothes. Unfortunately, I still can't carry anything upstairs so I will have to ask Greg to haul things upstairs for me.

I'm trying to motivate myself to take the tree down, but thus far I haven't done more than put the boxes out beside it. I also need to pack away all the new ornaments. I bought some plastic tubs for those yesterday, and brought a couple in last night. I now need the others, but they're in the car and I'm not setting foot outside today. They said last night our high today would be 9. I don't do 9 unless I have to. Today I don't have to. I have no idea if that's what the temperature actually is. I can live with the mystery. I'm not sticking my toe out.

I spent a little time this afternoon making some lemon curd and scones.



I'm still hunting for the perfect recipe for each. Neither of these is it. Not that that stopped me from eating it nonetheless. Research, you see. These scones are more like bicuits, which is not what I want from a scone.

It was nice to use the beautiful Wedgewood teacup Jade brought me from her trip to England last year, and fix some of the tea Jami gave me this year. It's not as wonderful as having tea with either of them, but it's a very nice feeling anyway.

I'm thinking I may round out the afternoon with a long bubble bath. I know, it's hard to keep track of the exciting pace of my life.

I hope your new year is off to a good start.

------------

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Quote of the Day

When I rise up

let me rise up joyful

like a bird

When I fall

let me fall without regret

like a leaf
--- Wendell Berry

My friend, MD, posted this on Facebook recently and it really struck me. I love Wendell Berry. I know I've written about him on the blog before, so won't repeat myself, but I am always moved by his writing.

I keep trying to figure out how I can convince Mr. Berry that we should have tea when I'm visiting family in Kentucky. I don't know that he likes tea, and I'm much more interested in the conversation than the beverage anyway. However, alas, as of yet no invitation has been issued to Mr. Berry's Kentucky farm.

In the meantime I will have to content myself with his lyrical words.

Don't Look Down

"Don't Look Down" is a song on Tom Russell's release, "Blood and Candle Smoke." I first heard it on Bob Edwards' Weekend.

It's an anthem for moving on - from a job, relationship, belief, or anything else. I've decided "Don't Look Down" is the perfect theme song as I leave 2009 behind.

I am profoundly changed by the events of this year. There are some things I am eager to leave behind, but also things I'll carry with me, tucked safely in my heart, for the rest of my life. Unfortunately, some of the same things stretch across both categories, so I have to figure out how to manage that challenge. It has been a year with much grief and much gratitude.

I don't think I've ever been inspired to write down the lyrics to a song, but I made an exception with this one. It has too many wonderful turns of phrase to be ignored, and the metaphors speak to me.

Of course, you can't get the full effect without hearing Tom Russell sing it. So, go forth and get your own copy.

Don't Look Down
by Tom Russell

Have I been too far
Have I seen too much
Working in the shadows
of the big ferris wheel

Spend 10,000 nights
in these sawdust and mud shows
I been walking that tightrope
for a room and a meal

I said don't look down
the ground might be burning
we're turning the corner now
we might run into God

From the plains of the buffalo
to the wild dogs of Mexico
and the loves that have laid us low
You gotta leave that behind.

Oh the rhymes of the ranges
and the kindness of strangers
I have run all the changes
of the Chickasaw waltz

Tasted lipstick and nylons
seen your mental asylms
turned my back on that violence
before it turned into song

I said don't look down
Lord the ground might be burning
we're all turning the corner now
We might run into God

From the rivers of Idaho
to the wild dogs of Mexico
and the loves that have laid us low
You gotta leave that behind.

Saint Mary, mother of patience
Saint Joseph of the hammer and the nail
Come build me a ladder to the heart of the matter
high above the moon tonight on the carnival trail

She stood in the corner
right next to her mother
Sir Douglas her brother
since she was a child
and the difference in years
and people's cheap fear
and their matinée tears
drove us into the wild.

I said don't look down
the ground might be burning
we're all turning the corner now
we might run into God

From the plains of the buffalo
to the wild dogs of Mexico
and the loves that have laid us low
You gotta leave that behind.

Don't Look Down
Don't Look Down
Don't look down
You gotta leave that behind.

Some After Christmas Shopping

It wasn't in the plans. It just happened.

How many stories start out that way?

Of course, they often involve teenagers in cars. This one involves a car, but that's where the similarity ends.

Coming back from Joplin last night I wanted to get out of the car and walk as a preventive measure to avoid blood clots. It was cold, so we stopped at a Walmart - nicely heated to walk around a bit.

Now, the week after Christmas, where do you think I'm going to go in a Walmart?



Exactly.

But the part of the story that's missing is that this Walmart had marked the ornaments down to fifty cents a box. Yes. Fifty cents. And they had some cool things.

Now I have some cool things.

And so does Greg.



I wanted to get some things for the Cosmosphere, but we literally ran out of room, so I went back today to get some goodies for work.

Today it was a frenzy so I'm glad I didn't delay. And today I had a van, which meant I didn't have the same problem I had last night.

60,000 Thoughts

Experts say we have about 60,000 thoughts a day. Unfortunately, about 95% of them are the same thoughts we had yesterday.

I think this is one of the reasons I need a lot of "new" in my life. I want to think about different things. One of the ways to do this is gather new information, and then use that to form new concepts.

You would think the internet would make it very easy to find new information, and it does to some degree. But, finding the jewels of information you want can be somewhat difficult. I'm not sure if I'm the only one who has noticed this or not, but there's a lot of junk online. I find myself turning to the printed word more and more when I am seeking.

I love those little "tidbits," the unexpected information you find when reading. You might be reading about thermal dynamics and suddenly find a reference to something totally different dropped in. (I haven't been reading about thermal dynamics, you understand, I'm just using that as an example. I wouldn't want you to get the wrong impression.)

Like most people, I tend to read the same sorts of things over and over. That, also, is a problem because I'm taking in the same kind of information all the time.

One of my favorite parts of our library is the "New Books" section. It's like a mini library you can browse fully in a few steps. I often spend time there just pulling a book off the shelf - something I would never think to check out - and leafing through it. Sometimes you find a little gem here or there, or you confirm you're really just not the sort of person who is interested in Early American Furniture Building with Period Tools. (Truth be told, I am interested in that, I'm just not able to do it.)

Increasing the chance of having new thoughts is a daily goal for me. Now, if only there were a calculator for such things so I could keep track.

Quote of the Day

"When an old man dies, a library burns to the ground."

African proverb

New Media and Traditional Media

I was reading an article in the New York Times about how fashion designers are embracing new media. You might be asking yourself if I have suddenly become a fashion devotee, but a quick look at my latest photos would dispel that thought quickly. No, I found the link on twitter and thought it looked like an interesting story about social media. And it is.

The gist of the story is that designers understand the benefits of giving new media, like bloggers, prime press locations at shows, and that traditional media sometimes doesn't like that. They mention traditional media is trying to work within the structure of new media and that they sometimes fail to understand the culture and have a "generational disconnect."

They offer the following as an example: "(From Glamour.com: “Dating Tips: Why It’s Important to Get That Number.”)" When I read that I had to think for a moment about what they were talking about. Number? Of course they mean phone number, but it took me some time to make that connection. The phone is not how I would necessarily choose to connect with someone. In fact, my phone is used far more for facebook, twitter, texting and emailing more than talking. Of course, if I wanted to text I would need the number, but they'd give me that number through some other method.

It wasn't a conscious decision for me to become a "new media" person instead of a "traditional media" one, it just happened. The technology went one way and I went with it. I wasn't driving it there, I was just riding along.

But as I'm always telling people when I teach social media - technology doesn't go backwards. Once there's a cool thing we can do, we're going to do it. The trick is to find a way to make it better so I want to pay for it (iTunes), or capitalize on the mere fact that thousands of people want to do it (Facebook/Twitter). The world certainly looks different these days. No question about that.

There are so many ways traditional and new media could benefit from each other's approaches, but there would have to actually be communication for that. And, that's difficult if one is talking on the phone and one is texting.

Merry Christmas

White Christmas

It counts as a white Christmas if it's white from ice instead of snow, right? In Joplin, Missouri ice fell from the sky for about six or seven hours, and now it's snowing. So, it's definitely going to be a white Christmas.

Greg and I were looking forward to Midnight Mass, but it is just too bad to get out. So, we're watching Miracle on 34th Street and enjoying hanging out in the warm house.

I hope you're having a fabulous Christmas Eve and that it will turn into a magical Christmas Day.

Happy Birthday to Me

This was a really fun birthday and I appreciate everyone who made it that way. It had a number of highlights... in rough order of their occurrences:

1. Dozens of good wishes from friends on Facebook, including long-time dear friends with fun references even going back to high school and college years. And even from my favorite 19 year old on the planet - BC. These started a couple of days ago and continue today - no need to stop as far as I'm concerned - I'm not fixated on an actual day on the calendar.

2. A call from my friend, Ralf, in Germany, with his daughters - ages 8 and 12 - singing Happy Birthday over the phone. Needless to say, their English is much better than my German, which is non-existent.

3. A surprise visit from Cleta, bearing gifts, no less, including the personalized bottle of germ-x which I just think is hilarious and perfect.

4. Birthday cards in the mail. Mail is always fun and special.

5. Travel/shopping/dinner/Christmas light looking/laughing with Greg.

All in all a great birthday. Facebook has certainly changed the face of birthday wishes forever - in a good way. I was very impressed that Ralf and Cleta remembered, even though neither is on Facebook.

It occurred to me only this morning that we never got around to eating any cake and/or ice cream - an easily rectified situation. I'm almost always travelling on Dec. 23 - my birthday - and rarely get to even have a real meal, much less cake and ice cream, so I didn't even think about it. This sounds suspiciously like something I can use to justify sugar consumption the rest of the holiday season.

Whatever your part was in my birthday celebration, I appreciate it. Thank you!

I feel perpetually 28, but the calendar tells another story. It's nice to have that jolt of reality smoothed over with pleasantness from various directions.

Christmas Letter

As I've mentioned, my entire Christmas prepartion system fell apart this year. So, I'm still sending cards - or so I say, anyway. In reality, I think it's more likely I have a bunch of cards to use next year.

I'm flattered that some folks have mentioned they missed my annual Christmas letter. I suspect this may be nothing more than a generous kindness in the holiday season, but I've decided to take it seriously nonethelss. So, if you want to see it, here's a link. Enjoy!

Christmas Letter 2009

Are You Living Your Dreams or Your Fears

People work harder to avoid what they fear than to seek what they desire. That has been proven multiple times in different studies.

This begs the obvious question: Are you living your life to avoid what you fear or achieve what you desire?

For at least two decades I've been asking almost everyone I meet two questions.
1. What do you want - what have you never had enough of - what do you dream of having?
2. What frightens you - wakes you up in the middle of the night, heart pounding, frightens you?

The answers cover a huge range, and it's apparent many people have no idea what they want, much less what they fear, which is no doubt a larger force in their lives. If we can't answer those questions, how can we make wise choices? How can we consciously steer in the direction of dreams if we're unconsciously hampered by the what frightens us?

Blizzard Warning

As you may recall, I have a new phone. One of the first things I downloaded from the android marketplace was the weather channel application.

Today it showed me the temperature was 45, but in the same panel was a little square. A red square with an exclamation point inside it. You know this can't be good news. Is good news ever hearalded by a red box with an exclamation point inside it?

When you touch the little red box, you get a notice that there's a blizzard warning. Yes, a blizzard warning.

There's a certain criteria for a blizzard. I can't recite it all, but lets just sum it up by saying lots of snow and wind, combining for near whiteout conditions. That's what's headed for us. On Dec. 23/24. Happy Birthday to me.

Needless to say, many people's travel plans are being changed, even as we speak/write/read.

A Christmas Season Saturday

This is what a very happy girl looks like. Why was I so happy? Well, many reasons, not the least of which I was eating dinner next to The Jolly Old Elf himself.



Okay, it was only a likeness of him. But it's a vintage Christmas decoration and that's more than cool enough for me. Look at those rosy cheeks, that droll little mouth and his twinkling eyes.



This was the cap to our Christmasy evening. Greg and I went to the luminaria display in Hyde Park earlier in the evening.



This neighborhood, with many beautiful old homes, does this every year the Saturday before Christmas. I love it when it falls like this, with some days between that Saturday and Christmas.



Many people also do lots of other decorating, which is great.



A couple of my favorite displays were on roofs and balconies.





It was a great Christmasy evening. We had cider and cookies, visited with the real Santa, ran into friends, listened to live music, and then capped it off with a great dinner. Wonderful Saturday evening!

Thanks to Greg for most of the photos. He appropriated my camera almost immediately so other than a couple of brief times, it was not in my possession. But, of course, he takes better photos than I do anyway. And, he's willing to get out in the cold more often than I am. Probably for the best that he had the camera. You might check out www.thelope.com for more of his great photos.

Toy Trains Today

I love this photo I shot this morning on my phone of the set up for today's event at the Cosmosphere. The Wichita Toy Train Club is at the Cosmosphere from noon to 6 today with an elaborate model train setup stretching over nine tables. I was taking some photos of the setup and love that in this one the train is a blur because it's in motion. Very cool.

The Wichita Sedgwick County Historical Museum Victorian Christmas

The Wichita Sedgwick County Historical Museum hosted a presentation on Victorian Christmas last weekend. Joyce Suellentrop led us through the Wichita Cottage that was decorated for Christmas.



I was enchanted with the tree decorations.



Don't you love this tree topper?



Suellentrop first pointed out that the Victorian era is an English and American event. We don't think of an "Italian Victorian Era" for example. I had never thought of it that way, but of course she's correct.



The creation of our "American Christmas" extends from the 1800s to the first World War she said. That's when we were forming traditions and adopting those of other nations. Prior to that time, July 4th was the most important holiday in America.



Christmas was a religious observance, celebrated by the family. The feast aspect of it came into being after Isabelle Beeton's "The Book of Household Management." The tree became the number one symbol of the holiday and was decorated generally on Christmas Eve, as their Christmas season would begin on Christmas Day and extend for the 12 Days of Christmas. The number two symbol of the holidays would have been the plum pudding.



"A Christmas Carol" and "The Night Before Christmas" were important in forming our ideas about the holiday.

Suellentrop mentioned a reference to a "Subscription Dance" in Wichita in 1870, where everyone brought a present and then left with one at the end of the night. The gift was the "subscription." The announcement said it would go on until the candles burned down or the sun came up.



Other milestones she mentioned:
1880 Woolworth was selling tinsel (Jami said the tinsel on the tree is very heavy)
1860-70 Christmas card from Prang
1850 articles about the stress of the holidays
1840 were suggestions to feed the homeless at the holidays



The feasts at Christmas generally involved oysters of some sort. In 1880, an older gentleman was asked about the first Christmas in Wichita, which was 1868/69. He didn't remember that, but remembered the Christmas of 1870 and said it was the first time oysters had been in Wichita and they were $1 a can.

The one thing you won't find are older recipes for cookies, because most of them needed sugar. They depended on molasses or honey for sweetener.



Ladies Home Journal in 1887 gave a sample menu for the holiday. It listed 14-20 dishes including peas served in turnip cups, ginger syrup, plum pudding and hard sauce, oysters on the half shell and turkey with chestnut stuffing.

There was a letter to Santa Claus, which referred to Montgomery Ward as "Monkey Ward" but went on to say that the father didn't approve of them using slang.



It was a very Christmasy afternoon and I highly recommend a visit to the Wichita-Sedgwick County Historical Museum. They have another display of miniature trees up for the holiday season.

Events vs. Processes

I've been thinking today about events vs. processes.

Events are pretty easy. There's a beginning, middle and end. You can often plan for them. They happen, and they're over, and you move on. That's not to say you're not changed by them, because you certainly can be. But, they're distinct, not ongoing.

Processes require a different kind of work. The landscape is continually shifting, requiring you to adjust as you go along. You can't plan much in a process, and what you do plan is likely to be little more than an amusing joke for the gods.

Meeting someone is an event, but having a relationship is a process. Being hired for a new job is an event, but learning the work place is a process. Getting a new gadget is an event, but using it is a process.

The last few months of my life have involved a great deal of process. I think I need a better balance of events and processes. The trick is to not confuse the two.

Obviously, there's much here for me to think about.

Quote of the Day

Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmas-time.
--- Laura Ingalls Wilder

I hope you find some of that childhood wonder of Christmas this year. It's what I love about the holidays - we all have a chance to weave magic into our lives for a short time. Take advantage of the opportunity. It comes but once a year as the famous say words say.

Being Engaged

For 2010 I am choosing a word to frame the year. I'm choosing "engaged," to remind me to be totally engaged in whatever I'm doing.

I've been thinking about this concept of "being engaged" for awhile. When we're fully engaged in anything it's much more likely to be meaningful. Maybe it's with another person, or maybe it's with an event. Regardless, to get the most out of anything, we need to put ourselves into it completely. We must be totally engaged.

So, for the next year I'm going to try to remember to be engaged in whatever I'm doing. I think it may be difficult to do at times. But, my guess is that it will make it easier to say "no" to some things that are on the periphery of my life.

I think being engaged will change the way I view the world and my place in it.

Long Day

It has been a long day. I was very tired today and had to work at pushing through the day, but I made it. It's hard to believe Christmas is next week. I'm used to being nearly two months into my Christmas season by now so it seems like it has been very short to me.

Tonight was Creative Sisterhood and it was very nice to see folks.

Tomorrow is a full day at work so I'd best get soms sleep. I've got on two layers of clothes and the heat up but I'm still cold. I hope I can sleep.

Jami and Victorian Christmas and Vintage Paper and Presents and a Christmasy Day

This is Jami. I really, really like Jami.

We had lunch today in Wichita, and it was great to have time to visit with her. I went over to attend a presentation on Victorian Christmas at the Wichita Sedgwick County Historical Society, which was fabulous.

There was information on the Victorian era. And information on Christmas in the Victorian era, complete with Christmas ornaments.

Can you imagine how happy I was?



Jami brought me some wonderful presents - delicious tea and a tea strainer with a holly leaf decoration. Is that not perfect?

To top it off, she had wrapped it in vintage Christmas paper, and included a vintage card. Oh my goodness, I love it oh so much. I couldn't wait to share it with you.



I opened the presents very carefully so as to save the paper. I think I may frame one of these pieces and hang it on the wall. Would that not make a cool piece of art?

The extra benefit of this, that Jami may not even realize, is that she has provided me with the last piece of permission I needed to keep buying wrapping paper myself. I love wrapping paper and although I have a theme every year, seem to buy enough paper for 2-4 themes each year. But, now I realize that if I keep it long enough, it will be vintage, too.

At the end of the day, before coming home, I went to Botanica to see their Christmas display. It was very cool. I didn't walk all the paths because some were on uneven ground and I'm being extra, extra careful to not jar myself in any way. But I walked the paved areas. I'm still moving slowly but I am moving.



Overall a very Christmasy day.

Cards

I generally send about 300 Christmas cards. This year I'm sending considerably fewer - not because I'm feeling less festive, but because I'm not doing my usual entertaining. I'm always sending them early because they include party invitations. This year since I'm not doing that I was very laid back about getting any cards out. And, it seems less important to send them to folks I see regularly anyway.

I just mailed the first bunch of cards today. I have some others to do, but I'm glad to have at least gotten started. I seem to be moving slower with everything this season.

Of course, because I'm not using my regular system I suspect I'll be still sending them into the new year as I think of other people I want to send them to. Maybe I'll ust have to cross out "Merry Christmas" and put in "Happy New Year."

Tickets

We got tickets to go see Billy Joel and Elton John in Wichita in March. We were on multiple computers and couldn't even get into the system, much less actually buy tickets.

So, Greg suggested I just go to Dillons, that's a select a seat outlet. He said, "So, are you dressed." I answered, "yes," and I was - in the sense that I was wearing clothes. But, again, I was out in public in my flannel pajamas. I'm not proud, but there's the truth.

However, I was glad I didn't wait because I was not exactly the first person in line by the time I got there. But, we got tickets.